Build Up Your Survivor

August 21, 2009

If you need any help for rating or staff duties im here. I can just rate new stories as they pop up.

August 21, 2009

I would rate them, since I'm part of the staff, but I wasn't given permission to... Yet

Just re-update the 1st post and group them ready for Ziggy. So I just left it to him.

August 22, 2009

sanjeem:Not a bad story, seperate quotation marks, and DON'T FORGET TO SPELLCHECK.$75.

Benjimino234:Don't repeat the preface so detailed, nice build up to the character but it could of been longer, but all in all it's a good story.$50

RabidusUnus: Nice Length, punctuation was good. Add some more descriptive lines to your writing. Otherwise, it was a good read.$60

Rucke:Nice story, but the police don't know about Z-17 - It's Minimal, so no harm, no foul. $55.

mrpain has been added to National Guard.

August 22, 2009

Ziggy455:

"Prologue: Supply Run" A good build up and descriptive of the now barren Mercerville City. $60
"Thoughts Part One" A good continuation of your previous idea, kind of short, but well written. $64

1st Post Updated

-----Rated By Benjimino234

Edited August 22, 2009 by Build Up Your Survivor

August 22, 2009

I was wondering, why are there the properties that are already owned up for purchase? Like the Mercy Hospital and the Biotech Tower? Are there like two or them or something?

Shouldn't there be new unowned properties be up there? Like is it possible if I wanted to buy Biotech Tower again? Should they be swiped off and replaced with new ones?

When you buy a property/properties. You must write a story on each one, the events of you clearing it out of infected or Biotech Employees. Only then can Properties be used for your stories.

So I can write Biotech goes to the Mercerville Police Station, kills everybody then it's mine? As long as I pay the $2,000? With no consent of the Police Faction Writers? Those should be permanent properties and just make new ones.

Like new ones could be....

Mercerville Graveyard -- $100
Mercerville Shopping Centre -- $7,000
Danway Mansion -- $7,000 and it comes with FAMMAS Rifle, Steyr TMP and a Mossberg 500. Because the now dead Mr.Danway was in the army or something.
Now deserted Biotech Powerstation -- $5,000 but can be re bought by Biotech
Mercerville Shipping Yard -- $12,000 receives aid and generates money $200 a week

These are just ideas, but you get my point. Edited August 22, 2009 by Benjimino234

August 24, 2009

The default properties are Permanent. Also I will add, more locations, with weapons and perks.

August 25, 2009

Sorry I have not posted my story yet I've been busy latley I will post my storry some time tomorrow I promise. Also props to Benjimino234 for makeing the civilians logo for us it turned out great!

August 27, 2009

If you're reading this, than it means I am dead. I am Zen Edgar, I recently...moved out onto a supply run. I was shipped out with my team, to investigate an old gas station. Upon said arrival we were ambushed on an east side, My new recruits shot a fuel cannister; blowing up half of the place and alerting half of the infected in Mercerville City to our position.

We put up a fight, but eventually we fell back into the ruins, barricading ourselves into a tiny room, half wrecked due to the blast. Of course there were only 4 of us left, one of them; O'Brian, was infected. It took him an hour before he died. The second, Hallahagn was showing signs of comatose; due to third degree burns. I had to move out and grab medical supplies wth the aid of the only other healthy recruit; Klein, he was blasted in the fire.

We moved out, sneaking across the lot to grab medical supplies from a small 7/11. Infected caught us; ate Klein alive and bit me, I managed to make it back just quick enough to get supplies to O'Brian. I sorted him quickly, leaving him with a short note, weapons and a few supplies. He hit his head pretty hard so he will be out for a while.

So when I'm finished writing, I'm going to get out of here, and try and set up a small contact outpost to flag down help, then maybe O'Brian stands a chance. If this is the last you see of me, at least I went down swinging.

August 27, 2009

Story one: The Fight Begins… the fight to survive!

5/2/2012

The dead arose two days ago. They ran Mercerville into a playground for the dead.

I was in my house at the time it happened. I had to fight my way out with my dad’s Tec-9

they swarmed my house killed my family I had to get out, I had to survive…for my family.

“Hey kid stop day dreaming!” said an older guy about fifty with a long biker beard and a leather jacket he was holding a hockey stick and had a CZ 79 in his holster.

“What I was just…thinking” I looked up at him and he looked back down at me. I was wearing a tattered white tee shirt and blue jeans covered in blood some mine some not. The biker guy sits down across the hospital waiting room floor. I asked the man “your name is Mike right?”

The man looks at me like I’m stupid then smiles “yeah and yours is?” he asked.

I looked at him and brushed my hair out of my eyes and walked over to the counter of the hospital waiting room the one where the receptionist would normally sit.

“It’s Akio Takashi. I guess I owe you a thanks for earlier” I looked over at Mike he was wearing a leather biker jacket with a Hell’s Satan’s biker patches on it. “So are we going out for supplies soon?”

“Yeah we’re going for supplies in about an hour. Those idiots just won’t stop arguing about where to gather supplies” he looks over at five people over in the corner of the room and yells “LET’S FU*KING GO ALREADY” Mike gets up and leave the room I follow him.

We walked down the stairs and walk out of the hospital and I looked around the street. It looked as if a hurricane came through the streets. Cars were tore apart and flip on there roof. I looked at mike and asked “whats the plan?”

He looks at me and asks “You can drive right? “ he points at an old military truck.

“Yeah I can so whats the plan” I asked as we walked over to the truck.

Mike looks at me and says “you’re going to follow me while I’m on my bike. Vinie D. is coming down right now to ride shot gun with you.”

I look at him and asked “Vinie is that Italian guy in the black track suit right” I hop in the truck.

“Yeah he is” Mike says.

“Hey Mikey!” says Vinie as he runs out of the hospital. Viney looks about 30 then he looks at me in the truck and asks me “you ready kid?”

I look at him and say “hell yes!”

“That’s the attitude” Viney yells as he climbs into the truck. “Okay kid follow Mike to the walls store in downtown”

I put the truck in gear and we head off.

We arrive a block away from the store when Mike stops his chopper suddenly he yells “kill the motor!” I do as he says.

Viney leans out his window and asks “whats up Mike?”

“I’m scoping out the store too make sure there’s nothing in it” he says.

I look out the window and wonder whats happened to the world why…why did this happen to the world. “Viney?” I ask.

“What kid?”

“Do you think this will ever end?” I asked.

Viney sighs and looks over and states “I don’t know kid… I just don’t know.”

Mike looks back and yells “lets go!” he starts his motorcycle and I start the truck and we pull in to the parking lot of the store.

“Okay lets go” says Mike. We head in to the store and I look around the ravaged store and think we could get enough supplies to last two years.

I look over at Mike and Viney as there picking up canned food off the shelf. “I’ll go in to the sporting goods to get weapons and ammo” I say as I walk to the back of the store.

I head thru the store down the clothes isle taking a few sh*ts and pairs of pants.

“Hey Akio!!” says Viney from the front of the store.

I look around despite the fact I would through the shelves not see him “what?”

“Get that ammo I have a felling we’re going to need it” Mike replies

I sprint through the isles of the store back to the hunting and fishing section.

Were is the 9MM ammo and the CZ79 ammo I think to my self.

I vault over the counter and gather the ammo we needed. Then I sprint to the front of the store and see that Mike and Viney are fighting off some zombies.

“Here!” I through them the ammo. Viney takes cover with his Tec-9 and Fires into the group of zombies shooting one in the had and another in the chest. I see Mike taking cover behind a freezer. I pull out my Tec-9 and fire into a group of zombies running towards me. They all fell down.

I look up and see that there are less zombies. “Lets go!” yells mike over all the commotion. We all run out to the truck and motorcycle.

“I’ll get in the back of the truck” says Viney D. as we load in the supplies.

I get in and start the truck as Mike says “Lead the way Akio!”

I put the truck in gear an we’re off. We head down the last street which is about a mile

when they come out from everywhere.

“Zombies!” yells Viney D. as he shoots in too a group of them. Then Viney gets dragged off the back. “AHHHHHHH!” he yells then I hear a single shot and the yelling ends.

We make it back to the hospital I hop out of the truck and meet up with mike at the back of the truck. We gather up our supplies. “Shame I had to do that” Mike said in a low tone

“Viney was a good guy.”

“Yeah” we walk in to the hospital. “You did him a favor mike… he would just have been infected with Z17 and would become one him self” I sigh.

Finaly Finished I won't be as busy as much any more somy next well come faster than this one.

August 28, 2009

ill join the Nat. Guard.

National Guard

Chapter One

PFC. Joey McIntyre

I had just joined the military two months ago before the sh!t hit the fan. I had barely compleated my training when I was called home to take care of my ill father. My mother died when I was six of a rare disease no one had ever seen. One night when I was at Joe's Tavern drinking with my best friend David Jones a lady stumbled out of the Lady's Restroom. She looked like an animal had viciously attacked her. Little did i know she was carrying what was know as the Z17 virus. She lunged at a fellow bar patron and bit a golfball sized chunk out of his arm. He yelled in pain and struck the diseased woman in the top ot the head with his glass of beer sending the diseased woman to the ground. A pair of other patrons grabed the arms of the young overweight lady and threw her out of the bar with ease.

David and I left the bar soon after the incident. David too was in the military and just got back from a tour in North Korea. We both walked up the street to my father's apartment. No sooner did we walk in and my father lunged at me and before he could grab me and pull me down, David grabed him by the arm and pulled him away. As David yanked my father away from me he lost his balance and fell, my father's head struck the corner of the glass coffee table sending blood everywhere. David slid backwards and fell into a chair. With a confused look on my face I grabbed my father and tried to wake him up but he was already dead.

Several hours later David turned on the television and we both saw that every channel was broadcasting the same program. It was a warning about what would become the end of the world as we knew. The grey haired broad caster was speaking in a worried tone, "Do not, I repeat, do not go out side and for god's sake do not go near anyone who carries the following symptoms. Ghostly pale skin, foaming at the mouth, red eyes, slured speach, and increased violent behavior including but not limited to: attemting to eat humans, and animals. We at MVCT will stay on air as long as possi... Aagh!" he screamed as a zombie broke into the studio and lunged onto him.

This world as I know it is dead and coming back to life and now I must attemt to survive in this horrible situation.

August 28, 2009

Ziggy455:

Civillians

$64

You're keeping me at the edge of my seat, can't wait for next one. Also a little bit short. Well written and a good idea for a story.

Mr.c TO the J:

Civillians

$57

Yeah pretty good, you're missing some capitals, fullstops and commas, mainly in dialogue. But yeah a ok start.

TUBBSthezombie

National Guard

$53

Kinda short and the news reporter being killed by a zombie at that very broadcast seemed like of a cliche.

---- Rated by Benjimino234

Edited August 28, 2009 by Build Up Your Survivor

August 29, 2009

ARMY

THE JOURNAL OF GENERAL WINSTON J BUCKLEY

12:43pm: Flying over city. My trusty guard Sergeant Armstrong's flying the chopper. Looking at Mercerville below. sh*t, those Biotech motherf*ckers really screwed everything up. I could still see anti-Biotech oppression graffiti sprawled on the crumbling brick walls of the Historical District below. sh*t, just saw an explosion. A young man just ran-he looked quite scruffy and not very respectable, I'll admit, but in these circumstances I'd forgive even the most major cleanliness infraction-from a bunch of pissed-off zombies. Straight into another pack. Poor bastard.

12:48pm: Now we went in a bit. Getting a good view of those undead freaks. The city's burning, but only up close. At night, you wouldn't guess the city was a deathtrap from a distance. Lights were still on here and there, you could hear rushed traffic (really an occasional brave sod trying to get out of the city and past the barricades) and the smoke from the burning buildings couldn't be made out well against the night sky.

12:54pm: sh*t, where are my f*cking manners? Forgot to introduce myself. General Winston Jason Buckley, US Army. Pleasure to meet you. I was put in charge of running the Mercerville operations. Appointed by the President himself, before he got lost in the battle to save Washington DC. Mercerville was one of the first hit and one of the worst hit in this epidemic, and evacuation was a rushed, half-finished job. So, me and my men heavily fortified ourselves in the base. Now it serves as a refugee camp, research base and of course, military outpost.

12:58pm: We're flying over Taft Hill. A nice, affluent, trendy district, home to lots of residential brownstones. Well. It was. Now, half the windows are boarded up, the other half are smashed, looted and trashed. Those bloody artsy pricks didn't see it coming. Neither did we, I'll be honest.

1:15pm: Well, might as well introduce you to my fellow occupants on this "tour" helicopter. There's Sergeant Armstrong, of course, my best friend and most trusted bodyguard. Then there's Dr. Janet Watts. She's a bit of a boffin. She studies zombies, dissects zombies, heck, she's probably even doing a bloody census on the damn things. Right now, she's watching a crazy old coot looking out of the window of his half-ruined suburban home, shooting at any zombie he sees and laughing at the ones he missed stepping on landmines. There's also General Peter Bryson, a fat man with high tastes. He believes in a peaceful solution to everything, from saving survivors to containing the zombie plague, even dealing with those stuck-up greedy pricks BioTech. He'd enter trading negotiations with the damn zombies if they could talk. And how could I forget that grumpy old reactionary Congressman Rudolph Schneider. He's technically a civilian, but he used to be a very highranking military strategist and official, and a damn good one at that, so he's view is as important as mine and Peter's when it comes to running the base. He has a heart and brain that are in the right places, but he would slaughter a million to save a million and one. He's a ruthless, firm, paranoid old bugger, and he and Peter balance each other out nicely.

1:32pm: Saying we were a colourful and varied bunch is an understatement. But we were all united by one thing: our passions and our hatreds. We were all passionate in stopping this, in returning the world to how it should be, in saving lives. And our hatreds were even more important. We hated those...things. We hated BioTech, those untrustworthy, greedy, deluded little c*nts. Most of us had lost at least one person dear to us, and we had all lost our previous lives.

1:50pm: I was so distracted in writing this useless journal I didn't notice our daily "tour" of the city was coming too an end. Heh. Seen one day of destruction seen em all. It was great to see an individual or a group holding out, and sights like that were quite common. But balancing that feel good feeling out was the pit in the stomach from seeing a horrific event, whether it was a degraded building or a family being mauled. To preserve my sanity, I started writing this journal of the events of the apocalypse as we know it.

I'm not a religious man. But I hope there is a God. And a Heaven. And a Hell.

You get that feeling when you see your own baby son eaten by a rabid "human".

END OF JOURNAL DAY 1

Hope you like.

Edited August 29, 2009 by General Goose

August 30, 2009

Sorry I haven't posted anything yet, I will. Don't worry. But first, I will purchase a katana and a Remington M1100-P.

September 1, 2009

I would like to purchase the RJ's Gas and Stop Station propert for my national guard. Let my first story begin.

National Guard

Prologue: Welcome to National Guard

Foggy. Just foggy the place was. Not a person to be seen nor a heartbeat to be heard. It just me and the gas station.

"What now?" A voice appeared and I turned around. It was my little sister, Dana. I almost pulled the trigger of my M16 and she spoke.

"For f*ck's sake Dana, don't scare me like that. This isn't the place to fool around." I bellowed at her and tears started rolling down her face. I could not turn my attention to her as it was a dangerous place at a dangerous time. I poured oil at the barricade I had built and told Dana to go to bed.

I turned on the radio, waiting for a sound. It did make a sound, a strange sound. A sound that was rapidly vibrating. I thought something was wrong with the antenna so I went outside.

"Not now!" A human-liked figure was fiddling with the antenna. Only thing is, that's not human. It's a zombie.

BANG and the zombie's head was gone. I soon heard growls as I was walking back to the station. Not just any dog friendly growls but zombie nasty growls. I was ready to take on a bunch of zombies. As I saw them walking dead slowly towards me, I thought, "Just this much? Well this isn't bad." I spoke too soon.

An army of zombies appeared out of nowhere. I ran back to the gas station without turning back. It was hard to see with all that fog. I got to my barricade and I lit it on fire. I stepped back and I saw a small object flying towards me. As it came closer, it got bigger. It was a truck.

The truck came crashing down near me and it took the barricade. It took out the fire as well. I was nearly knocked out but I woke up when I saw Dana shooting a pistol at the zombies.

"Dana, run!" I shouted and before I blackout, a huge zombie grabbed her and ran away. I never seen that kind of zombie before. It was like the Hulk, only much uglier. Actually, the Hulk is already ugly so that zombie must be horrid. After that zombie ran away, my eyes closed. I heard the sounds of a helicopter before my eyes closed.

Few hours later, I recovered, only to find myself on a bed in the gas station.

"Are you alright?"

I tried to look around but my eyes were in a daze. "Who's that?" I got my vision back and I saw a man and a woman treating my wounds.

The woman said, "I'm Alicia and he's Bret. We are from the National Guard. What's your name?"

"I'm Jack Sawyer. Dana, where is she?"

Alicia looked puzzled, "Who?"

"My sister! Please tell me she's safe!"

Alicia then gave a sorry face, "I'm sorry, we only found you."

Bret then came to me and said, "Listen boy, we are running low on people in the National Guard. We are finding survivors to recruit them. You are a survivor so now you are part of the National Guard. We will help you to find your sister only if you joined us. So are you down boy?"

Alicia whispered to Bret, "But the sister have no chance of surviving out there."

I was in deep thought. I'm only a teenager and already I'm joining the National Guard? I had to. I had to find my sister. "Alright I'm in."

"Welcome to the National Guard boy. But since we are in a hellish situation, welcome to hell."

September 1, 2009

General Goose:

Army

$49

Your tensing of the story is f*cked up. It's says it's a journal, it written in past tense which is correct then

Looking at Mercerville below. sh*t, those Biotech motherf*ckers really screwed everything up.

it's written like in normal 1st person and really no need for the journal style. Then

12:54pm: sh*t, where are my f*cking manners? Forgot to introduce myself.

I thought it was a journal, you wouldn't write that in your own dairy or journal. Just think that your character has actually written it down after the event and will read it himself later, personally I don't write, "sh*t i was scared by the zombies closing in" 'cause i was there... Better be, "I was scared"

More adjectives are in stories, because you're trying to tell someone, to yourself you can drop details. Because you know how sacred you were and no need to tell yourself details that you already know. Do you get the idea? Just read Ziggy's 'Chaos has Come' story, but even that is told as a last story of Zen. But you get it right?

mrpain:

National Guard

$63

I don't know if you can do such a large purchase such as property on the 1st go... I might have to consult with Ziggy, it's that I'm used to BUYG and that's a standard rule. One person can buy property and weapons waste the money and write one story and go unactive for 6 months.

But I'll rate it anyway but won't update the 1st post yet.

It was good, I don't really like using sound effects for which i mean BANGS and CLICKS but yeah a good start

---- Rated by Benjimino234

September 1, 2009

It's more of a journal that he is writing for someone., not for himself. Say he dies and then someone finds the journal. He's writing it so people know what happened from the Army's perspective. And he was writing during the event. All the errors you pointed out were intentional and I think not bad. Shoulda made that clearer. Can I ask for a rereview?

Edited September 1, 2009 by General Goose

September 2, 2009

I'm just going to hand it over to Ziggy, I think I'm using opinion over criticism, because I don't think it's written right...

Like if I were to do a journal style writing I would only put a new time for each new location, not for separate monologues or soliloquies that your character has.

There's a line between a journal with personal thoughts and feelings and just straight facts. No personal thoughts and minimal description.

Let's say this

12:58pm: We're flying over Taft Hill. A nice, affluent, trendy district, home to lots of residential brownstones.

We put up a fight, but eventually we fell back into the ruins, barricading ourselves into a tiny room, half wrecked due to the blast.

Assuming a civilian found the journal of the now dead General Winston, the civilian would already know about Taft Hill as how it was before the outbreak.

In Ziggy455's case he's describing in very minimal detail of a new location or the now changed area.

That's my opinion on what I see as 'journal' writing. Agree or don't but I would like to see Ziggy455's thoughts. Maybe work out an average, 48 + '__' divide 2 = ______

Also I thought Mercerville was the only city with the Z-19 drug deployed and now overrun with zombies, but your story says it's one of the few city's hit. We need Ziggy455's feedback for that, unless he intentioned that Biotech was based in other city's,

Edited September 2, 2009 by Benjimino234

September 2, 2009

I live in London, yet can't name all the areas off by heart. And it was aimed at anyone who found it if he died or if he published it later if he survived (which explains the description.)

And some people write journals and accounts and diaries in different ways.

And in the intro, it mentions a global infection.

September 2, 2009

This is Ziggy, my two cents would be a Journalistic text can be in first or third, as if talking to an audience is fine. You can consider it a precautionary tale.

I mean if I was REALLY in a zombie outbreak, writing a journal to an audience would not be a bad thing! Consider that he gets killed by zombies, his story would go untold, Goose's way is fine, he just needs to spellcheck and proofread, because I'm getting the feeling he doesn't.

Benny have you been updating the tables while I've been away?

Assuming a civilian found the journal of the now dead General Winston, the civilian would already know about Taft Hill as how it was before the outbreak.
In Ziggy455's case he's describing in very minimal detail of a new location or the now changed area.

With what I wrote, Upon finding the Journal where I left it people would understand what I was saying; considering they would find it in the blasted ruins of a gas station.

Yes also, people can immediately buy Properties; on account they use them annually, if I find they become inactive the Propertie shall be stricken and back up to the purchasable sales.

Anybody need any more clearing up?

Edited September 2, 2009 by Build Up Your Survivor

September 2, 2009

I guess you could call this a treasure hunt, although I wasn’t asking you to find where I had died, so you came here at free will. Since I left him at the gas station I’ve managed to get quite far, and if you’re reading this unharmed, then I’m damn sure proud of you too for making it this far.

After I left the ruins, barely escaping unscratched, I managed to get to an old construction site; moving my way up to the top floor, retaining all of the flares and radio equipment along the way, I set them up strategically, hoping to flag down any survivors to help me.

Unfortunately, I flagged down a Biotech chopper, its course; right for the roof I was on. I moved down the building, still gripping 2 spare flares, my gun and a clean bandage for my bite wound. Luckily the infection in me is moving for it’s maximum time which should be about 20 to 24 hours, so I had enough time to sort out everything good enough to scrape by a rescue for him back at the station.

I kept running, hitting the middle floor, I heard the shuffling of boots as I ran further down, Biotech was gaining on me. I had to find a place to hide, that’s when I had no choice but to fight, I turned and hid behind a pile bricks, waiting for the first member to get onto my floor, after a few seconds he did, quickly scanning before hitting down the stairs, the second did so a few more seconds later, but the third...He moved slowly on my floor, his boots clicking on the floor closer to where I hid, when his gun was visible from around the corner I pulled it away; lunging for his throat like the wind, I grabbed and gripped it tightly until life escaped him.

The two others heard his body drop, I grabbed his Vector and ran upwards, firing off the gun to cover them; they were right behind me. As I got to the top, one of them finally got a shot at me.killed one of the way up with a clean shot to the head while the other ran out of ammo when he reached me. I filled him up and limped away, I’ve been bleeding more profusely. Things look hopeless here and I can only hope you get to him.

I’ve been bleeding worse, since I’ve began to write this and to stop any slow painful death I think it’s more fitting I go down swinging,keep your eye out for the next couple of hours, you’re going to get a final goodbye from me, the infected and Biotech are going to all go up in flames shall we say.

Signed Zen

September 3, 2009

Ziggy455:

Civilians

$62

It was nice reading it, good continuation and easy to read.

------- Rated by Benjimino234

1st post updated

September 4, 2009

Hmm, Nice so far, add me to Biotech.

Edit: I'll start writing now. Sorry about my typos.

Mackay Franklin, Or Mac, was one of the newer employees of Biotech. He had no idea what problems would befall him by the end of the week. Mac scooped up his crisp jacket, slid it on and headed out of his apartment. A piece of cold toast jammed in his mouth, he barged out the door and into the cold air of Mercerville City. The cold keys in his hand, he slid it into the lock. The beeping of his 1999 Mazda 626 echoed through the street.

The tedious cycle of Mac was the same, day after day. The old car chuffed into his reserved parking space. Alas, it was more than a hundred feet from the Main building. Mac glanced at his watch, Late again. Jogging into the office, Stacey the secretary, waved politely. Mac nodded and kept jogging to the elevator. The disgruntled man waiting in the elevator didn't want to be delayed. He tapped the, 'Close Doors,' Button repeatedly.

Mac continued jogging, "Hold the door!" He yelled out over the hall. Ten feet. Five feet. Two Feet. Ding, The elevator door slammed shut. "For f*cks sake," Mac mumbled under his breath. Knocking the door to the stairs open, he held his messenger bag tightly.

His Boss, Jerry, was waiting impatiently at Mac's desk. Mac jogged up slowly, sweat trickling down his forehead. Jerry, with his arms crossed, shook his head. "First day on the job. And you're ALREADY late." Jerry Grunted, his watch exposed. "Get to work. Now." He added, walking off to his office.

Mac already hated his new job. He slumped his messenger bag beside his desk and looked down at the pile of papers, A sticky note on the top. Mac pulled it off and read it quietly to himself.

-Registration for business car.

-Chemical Process Testing.

-Due tomorrow.

"You gotta' be kiddin' me." Mac mumbled. He pushed in the power button for his standard issue PC. The buzzing and humming vibrated the desk. The end of day seemed an eternity away. The door of Jerry's office slammed open.

"Mac. Get your ass to the testing labs." Jerry demanded, slamming the door closed before Mac could ask why. Mac sighed to himself, stood up and headed to the elevator. The doors swung open to reveal a dozen people packed into the elevator. An Executive looking man swung his arm out to stop Mac.

"We're full." He stammered, before pointing to the stairs. Mac slapped his forehead. The stairs were a lot easier going down. Mac stumbled into the lab. His suit soaked in sweat, his black greasy hair matted to his head.

"Mackay?" A man in a lob coat asked. Mac nodded. "Right then. I'm Robert. Call me Rob." He added. Rob was over aged. Maybe in his 60's. His white hair, balding on the top. He was skinny and talked with a high voice. "Come along." He exclaimed, nodding to his office. Mac followed him in, breathing heavily.

"What do you need me for?

"You'll see." Rob replied. He picked up an injection unit, loaded it with a cylinder filled with green liquid and shook it lightly. "Arm out." He ordered. "It's the Employee vaccination." He added, checking the unit. Mac nervously hung his arm out. Rob jabbed the needle into his arm and injected the fluids. Mac cringed, rubbing his arm. "Take the day off. You may feel sleepy." Rob Suggested. He went back to his computer and left Mac where he was.

Feeling slightly dizzy, he headed back up the stairs, took his things and headed back to his car. He seemed full of energy. More than usual. He backed slowly out of the space. A silver sedan zoomed up and slammed into the back. Mac, filled with anger, opened his car door and jumped out. "What the hell!" He screamed out. The other man leaned out of his window and looked at his car. Mac, angrily jogged over.

"Buddy, sorry 'bout the--" The man started, only to get cut off. Mac grabbed him by his collar, pulled him out the window and jumped on top of him. Clenching his fist he slammed the man in the face multiple times. Blood over his jacket and face, Mac snapped back to it. What was he doing? He felt overly aggressive. Mac quickly checked the mans pulse. He was dead. Mac looked around quickly. He hopped in his car and drove off. Maybe sleep would make him forget about his evil deed. And could he get away with it?

To be continued.

Edited September 5, 2009 by Colt M14

September 12, 2009

National Guard

Chapter Two

Pfc. Joey McIntyre

The world has drastically changed for the worse. It was now just me and David against the horde of undead bastards out to kill anything that still breathes. David and I both know we cant hold out in the apartment for very much longer because we're running low on food provisions. The water stopped working a few days ago and we can't go much longer with out food and water. Luckily the stairs collapsed so that the undead couldn’t reach us but that means the only way out is either the roof or down the fire escape.

"Hey Joey, we need to find some food man," David said with hunger in his voice.

"Yeah I know," I answered him.

"What if we make our way a little farther downtown. There's a few grocery stores and some gun shops that we can hit up," David suggested.

"Hmm, its a damn good idea. My father has some guns in his bedroom," I said walking to my fathers gun safe.

"Do you know the combination Joey?" David asked.

"My father never could remember the password so he wrote it down. It should be on his desk." I told David as he went and looked on the desk.

"Yeah, here it is," he said.

I quickly unlocked it and grabbed a M19 assault riffle and a molotov while David grabbed a Taurus 9mm pistol and a hunting knife. We climbed out of a window onto the black metal fire escape. I rattled out a few shots at a pair of zombies a floor below us. David and I quickly scaled down the fire escape and down onto the street. We were planning on driving David's pickup but it was smashed up by a raiding party with spiked helmets and baseball bats wrapped with barbed wire.

We both spot a ware house with a sign that read, Maclin Shipping, across the street . We quickly crossed it unloading a few rounds into a pack of about 10 zombies. David and I got to the metal garage door, it was open a few inches, just enough to get our hand under and lift open. David and I entered as soon as it was high enough to squeze under. David went running to the delivery truck to see if the keys were in it.

“Dammit, no keys.” David said frustrated.

“Check the offices, its gotta be in there,” I answered.

I let the door slam shut so that we would have to deal with zombies while we gather equipment from the warehouse. I walked into the lunchroom grabbed a cardboard box and quickly smashed the glass door of a vending machine and throwing everything edible into the box.

David came rushing in, “I found the keys Joey, I’ll grab the drinks.”

David grabbed a pry bar that was laying right outside the lunchroom and pried the door of the soda machine open in one swift, fluid motion. Shortly after, I picked the packed box up and hauled it to the back of the off-white delivery truck. The door was already open so I just slid the box in. I grabbed a pair of steak knives and threw them into the box inside the truck.

I rushed into the lunchroom and asked, “Time to go Dave, you almost done?”

“Yeah this is the last bottle,” he shouted back as he was picking up the box.

As David opened the door I started up the truck and David hopped in shortly after. I immediately slammed on the accelarator and ran over about 5 or 6 zombies splashing dots of blood on the winshield.

September 12, 2009

Colt M14

Biotech

$68

I like where this is going... But I would like a specification on Mackay's job title, not an criticism but a 'getting to know the character' thing. But it's written well.

TUBBSthezombie

National Guard

$65

Just a few missing fullstops but nothing debilitating that I can't read the good storyline building up underneath. A little more descriptive sentences would be nice, but good job I like it.

$200 Added to National Guard for the week. (For Sunday technically)

------- Rated by Benjimino234

Front Page is Updated

I'm back now, sorry for my delay. How have things been Benny? I assume you have been updating the pages since I've been locked off my Laptop.

Edited September 13, 2009 by Build Up Your Survivor

September 14, 2009

damn a great review, one of my best in any of the BUY series. im gonna do a rough draft from now on lol.

September 23, 2009

In the San Andreas BUYG the so called 'C' is a $30 and an 'A' $50 and above.

And in here with the increased money flow, such as the higher money for weapons, assets and money given to each faction ($5,000). I rate by the $50 is a 'C' $70 is an 'A'.

but still this isn't English class and I don't want to put anyone down for getting a 'Below C' mark for a story.

September 24, 2009

Sorry I have not posted in a while but I started a story that should be done the day after tomorrow also I plan to read all the stories I missed.

NOTICE:Sorry if I dobel posted my internet connection screwed up and my last post did no appeare on my screen so just in case.

September 25, 2009

To kick start this topic back up I am taking action, All Cash and storie counts shall be reset, If you want your stories back up on the scoreboard, please post a post, with the name of each story you have written, I am going to regrade every single story.

Please do this as soon as possible.

September 26, 2009

So should I re-post my first story or what?

September 26, 2009

No Just post the title of each story you have written, I shall re-grade, and remark it.

Build Up Your Survivor

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