TheDavid Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 I am new to the writers discussion, so I'm sorry if this completely sucks. The roses are red The violets are blue Whatever I do is not good enough for You. The pizza is ordered The movie is rented The David is waiting right here in Memphis. I dedicate this to my "girl gal" who I love very much. All feedback accepted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eminence Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 The first is a pre-existing, overused cliched stanza with your own line affixed at the end. The second doesn't rhyme, doesn't flow and makes only an arbitrary meaning. I don't really consider this to be a poem at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheDavid Posted July 1, 2009 Author Share Posted July 1, 2009 The first is a pre-existing, overused cliched stanza with your own line affixed at the end. The second doesn't rhyme, doesn't flow and makes only an arbitrary meaning. I don't really consider this to be a poem at all. Thanks for the feedback. It's really helpful I think I'm going to stick to writing story's Poems are a bit tricky for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentM Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 While poems are generally your own, it's more about the interpretation than the actual words. Eminence seems a bit elitist, and I think I can empathize with this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eminence Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Roses are green Violets are black This poem here is really whack The fridge is cold The freezer is colder Reading that poem made me feel older Am I doing this to be silly, or insulting, or to simply spam? No. It's a very specific observation on the poem. It's simple, it's basic, it's childish. That's my opinion on the matter. Elitist that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HuangLikeALee Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Eminence is in my opinion, the best writer on the forums. I know there are some very good writers here also, but almost every story by Eminence I read I take mental notes on how to improve my writing. So I would totally think he deserves to be a bit elitist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now