[FF] Change

[StrappedEnd]

Change is a good thing. Especially if you're like me, Damien Guiterez, Retired U.S. Spy. Identities are important in my line of work. They're like the life vest of the spy world. I went by several different names and from several different backgrounds but all of them did their job. Protect me from the people I'm spying on.

 

One identity was father. My son, Juan Guiterez, was born in 1992 shortly after I retired. We played all day and went to the park everyday we could until 2001 when my son was kidnapped by an old enemy. Someone tracked me and my family down and viciously killed my wife of 11 years. I wouldn't hear anything about my son for weeks until his body turned up in the local swimming hole. I knew who did it as soon as I saw the scar on his head.

 

A cross below a crescent was the mark of the Al-Hadi, a terrorist organization I spied on last. I knew when i saw that symbol I had to react the way I only knew how. I quickly grabbed my army suit from the first Gulf War and packed up my M4 Carbine, Desert Eagle, and grabbed a silver briefcase containing a .50 calliber sniper rifle. I hopped in my SUV and raced to an airport unknown by the government. I scurried in to a WWII plane and grabbed a seat and the pilot took off. On the 12 hour ride over to Tehran, Iran I came to term with life. I knew after this revenge that I would have to disapper off the world's grid forever.

 

I changed. For the worse. I changed into a sociopath. Over protecting my self and constantly staying on the run. That saying is wrong not all change is good. Not to me at least. I found myself standing over a corpse in a dark alley in NYC. I killed what I thought was a terrorist but it wasn't. Not in 2009. I was a kid. Just a 17 year old kid. My son would've been the same age. But why did I kill someones son. Why? Change. A bad change.

[Eminence]

The main thing that struck me about this was that there was a real lack of emotion. The simple mention of the guy having a family that was killed is followed by no real emotion at all; even his vengeance seems to focus more on the guns he packed up than what he did. He doesn't really seem to have been affected at all, so it seems a little redundant.

 

His transformation into becoming a bad person, as you describe it, happens in a very similar, nondescript way. It's reinforced only by the constant repetition of the word 'change', but other than that, there's nothing to really tell us why this has happened or how it's truly affected him. Try to focus more on the details of his character than the singular events.