Build Up Your Army

[Osric]

I'm learning as I go along, I've added the people to the tables, so now I just need to calculate the money from the ratings and we'll be good.

[Vercetti21]

Participation seems to be doing fairly well, and the incorporation of this into WD as opposed to the multiplayer section opens up new possibilities. Why not have room for decent constructive feedback? Focus on the writing rather than the story. "Great job! $85" doesn't really motivate me to improve, especially when the next guy is able to dish out some poorly-constructed sentences in a few minutes and gets virtually the same rating, give or take a few dollars.

 

You don't need a complex rating system, just something more than one-worded compliments. Maybe divide the ratings into five categories (eg. plot, tone, detail, style, diction) and average those together for a score, which could be converted to the dollar system.

 

As I said, you have the numbers and this seems to be working okay. But it could be much better, and the only way for this to improve is if the mods are willing to improve it. Or we could just improve the mods. We need people who know coding, and people who know how to leave feedback.

 

Not sure if anyone is on board with my ideas, and that's cool. Just my two cents.

[El Zilcho]

I know what you mean Vercetti. When I mark in BUYG, I always try to leave some constructive critiscm for improvment. What we should really focus on is why we like it; sure, a plot, tone etc would be good, but even just a basic "I liked this because" and a "I hated this because, and you can improve it by.." would really make a difference.

[StrappedEnd]

seems like i havent been add to Israel yet. oh well

[Eminence]

seems like i havent been add to Israel yet. oh well

There have been a lot of problems with updating that first post so far. It's all happening very slowly... I wouldn't worry about it. If you've asked then you're in; start whenever you wish.

[StrappedEnd]

seems like i havent been add to Israel yet. oh well

There have been a lot of problems with updating that first post so far. It's all happening very slowly... I wouldn't worry about it. If you've asked then you're in; start whenever you wish.

yeah i know.

 

I already have. The first part of my first chapter is on page 5 i think. read it i think its pretty good. a nice cliff hanger.

[El Zilcho]

Zharov Faction - Chapter 2

Sgt. Nikolai Drygin

 

I’m being dragged, across the sharp, jagged rocks that litter the valley floor; I always knew the White Army looked down upon us and the barbaric way they were pulling me just gave me more fuel for hatred. I also knew they didn’t follow the Geneva Convention; they’d be pulling teeth out within the hour. This foreboding prediction raised a sweat on my brow, but I did not attempt to escape. They roughly bundle me onto the back of an old truck, full of other angry, fatigued looking men. The expressions on their faces, however, did not betray any disgust towards me. These men were only tired. After all, they were only human. The exhaustion would have come from the constant battle, the bloody uphill struggle. I and my men had given them hell, jumping out at them whenever they had their pants down. I had shown no mercy, I expected none in return. I guess my expectations of torture were short lived, because just as the engine of the truck rumbled to life, the distinct thunder of a rocket entered my ears. Moments later, the T-90 that had fired its round at me when I was most vulnerable, was obliterated in a shower of flames and debris. The faces around me snapped into action, out of their fatigued stupor and back into the survival instinct.

 

I was still frozen stiff. As the men barged and knocked past me, I ducked down to avoid any gunfire, which was starting to blast forward. Choosing a time to move, I was halted once again my deep rooted fear, caused when a well placed shot blew truck driver’s head to pieces, brains all over the back window. I nearly lost my lunch; even men of my experience would be subject to such a devastating site. My ears were still ringing, so when I was kicked in the stomach by a towering man, I only felt it. He must have been shouting at me to get off of the truck, but my ears failed me, as did my legs. Collapsing off the rear with a dull thump, I hit the stony ground hard, as the towering man jumped over me and made a run for freedom. No chance, my hands darted to my holster, drawing the ever trusty Makarov, before holding it awkwardly sideways. I crawled forward, fired 5 times. Each shot hit the mans legs, dropping him sooner than he had thought possible. He let off a shrill stream of curse words before I fired again, this time silencing his frustration with a clean headshot. I dropped the gun, my hearing slowly returning as I viewed the carnage around me.

 

The Novayan forces were being decimated. At that moment I was happier than ever, even as dead bodies piled up around me, I knew whoever was doing this could only be helping me. An enemy of Gregor Ushi is a friend of mine. And sure enough, as I dragged myself forward, I was greeted by the smiling face of an old friend. Major Dimitri Petrov. He lifted me up, helping balance my twisted ankle, before speaking to me. He must have been shouting, after seeing the blood coming out of my eardrums.

 

“You’re going to be alright Nikolai, these swines know nothing of honor or respect! They deserve no less than a cold grave here." He gestured towards the execution of the last remnants of the fighting force who had attempted to apprehend me. I looked on with my thousand yard stare, ignoring the faux happiness around me, just looking blankly at the now nearly melting tank, crimson flames licking up the side of it, finding every corner of unharmed metal and flesh, and tearing it to pieces. It was as cruel as war itself. If I didn’t rise to the cruelty, I’d be consumed like so many more...

 

[Ciabatta]

I'm sorry guys but I'm dropping out. I thought I was going to have time to do this but I just started work and the only time I can do anything is on the weekends which I am still having trouble to find the time to write anything with this. But I congratulate you Zlicho and you Osric on the success thus far of this project.

[mrpain]

I would like to buy M60

 

 

 

Israel Ground Forces

Private 1st Class Agassi Alon

September 11, 2012

Chapter 2: Little Inspiration

 

 

 

As soon we saw the enemies driving toward Dugit, we quickly crammed onto the trucks and tried to beat them to Dugit. The ride to Dugit was a bumpy one. We were speeding on jagged rocks and unstable terrain. I almost puked.

 

Stavi found my Galil Rifle. I was not actually relieved to find my Galil Rifle as I wanted an excuse to drop out from the fight. I was just not comfortable with gunfire.

 

We arrived at Dugit before the enemies arrived. We saw the people of Dugit cowering in fear as they saw us. A guy came up to us and I presumed he must had been the chief or something.

 

"What brings your presence?" That guy asked, "I'm the head of this town and I want no trouble!"

 

"Don't worry about our presence, worry about theirs," Sergeant Zahavi handed the head of the town a binoculars and showed him our enemies, "Get your people to safety quickly, we will deal with them."

 

The people of Dugit immediately fled to their homes. The enemies were approaching us fast and we needed to mount our defense. Sergeant Zahavi ordered us to retrieve the M60s from our trucks and mount them on the roof of the houses nearby.

 

"Stavi, Alon and Zabi, go mount your M60 at that house! Quckly!" Sergeant Zahavi rushed us as the enemies approached.

 

Stavi and Zabi carried the M60s while I carried their equipment. We got to the roof and started mounting. I heard cries nearby and I went searching for where the cried came from. In a dark corner of the roof, it was a little girl afraid of what was going on.

 

When she saw me, she burst into more tears.

 

I tried to ease her feelings, "Hey, I'm not the bad guy. Take my hand." I reached out my hand to her and the moment later, BANG!

 

I turned around and Zabi was lying in a pool of fresh blood. "Zabi!" Stavi shouted out over the loss of a good soldier. Gunfire soon erupted and the little girl was so frightened that she hugged me for comfort. I told her, "Don't worry, just stay here while I kill them alright?" She nodded with a face of tears.

 

I took control of the other mounted M60 and blasted away. The enemies were storming through Dugit wave after wave. Weirdly for me, I did not felt any fear of killing the enemies. That little girl inspired me what was my destiny and that was to be a soldier.

 

The heat of the battle was electrifying. I had never used a M60 before and the feel of it was intense. I barely could get a gripped on it.

 

"They have breached our barricades!" Sergeant Zahavi shouted at us.

 

I soon heard the enemies marching into the house. The little girl screamed. Stavi and me were surrounded. I reloaded my Galil Rifle and began firing each enemy I saw. The little girl crawled slowly to somewhere in the house. She then called out to me and she showed us a underground passageway.

 

"Stavi, get the girl and get the hell out of here! I will hold them off!" I shouted at Stavi while trying to avoid the gunfire.

 

"But Alon, what will happen to you?" Stavi asked worriedly.

 

"Don't worry, just go! Save the girl!" Stavi hurriedly grabbed the little girl and went down the passageway. I locked the underground passageway by using a lock nearby to lock the trapdoor leading to it.

 

More enemies started marching in. I fired every single enemy in sight. After I was out of ammo, I got shot in the leg and another in the arm. I collapsed on the ground and I saw the two guys who shot me standing in front of me.

 

One of them asked, "Do we take prisoners?"

 

The other guy replied, "We don't take prisoners. We kill the wounded!"

[Exclusiv3]

The People's Republic of China - Chapter One

 

The lights of Hong Kong seemed their brightest at midnight. With bells, cymbols and drums blessing entire neighborhoods in the Kowloon City District, it was clear that this was a moment of great rest for the country. I, Xiangshi Lu, seated aside my bedroom window was eager to keep The People's Republic of China in good graces.

 

·±ÌåÖÐÎijÆ×

(Traditional Chinese Recipes)

 

I was given names, places, and assignments. It was my job. Therefore, I put all of my "information" here. No man would dare open a book of "Traditional Chinese Recipes". After all, a man's place in the kitchen was at the head of the table ...and nowhere else. This allowed a woman like myself to write whatever she wanted and not worry about the nosiness of any man.

 

I was given a Stiletto, Mauser C96, G36 ...in addition to a letter, which I was to burn after reading. I dared not read it aloud. Privacy was the rarest of luxuries in The People's Republic. In turn for citizen security, I knew it was a compromise worth having. I did not complain.

 

Taking a cigarette to the, now, burning letter, I threw the remains into the evening air and watched the ashes disperse. It was electric. My shaven hair felt good against the breeze of the city. I took the opportunity to do some drills.

 

As part of my regimen, I disassembled the G36 rifle ...and put it back together again. Then, I did the Mauser handgun. When I felt satisfied, I twirled the Stiletto in hand ...as it had always been second nature to me. My eyes became heavier as I practiced and I had the discipline to know when to get rest.

 

The next day was the beginning of my operations in Hong Kong. Xiangshi Lu, no longer existed. I was now, Blackbird Star.

Edited June 15, 2009 by Exclusiv3

[The Guru]

This looks like something I might be good at. May I join the PRC?

 

Man, I hope to improve my writings skills doing this.

Edited June 15, 2009 by The Guru

[WolfMasterZero]

I'd like to join Brazil. Can I?

[Eminence]

As far as I'm aware you guys don't have to wait for approval... anyone can join as long as there are open spots on their team, which I believe there are; feel free to get going.

 

On the subject of all this, though, what's going on? Been a couple days now and no activity from the mods - is this the precedent? Should we expect a pretty sizeable gap between posting stories and waiting for them to be rated etc?

[Osric]

I would have rated the stories and added in the money yesterday, but I had to visit relatives. Today was my first job interview, so that's why I'm late. I'll get to rating and such.

[StrappedEnd]

To the BUYA staff i can rate stories as well. ive got plenty of time (im unemployed )

[The Guru]

 

People's Republic of China - Part 1

<An itch of confidence>

 

 

It was one of those rare nights in Shang Hai when the sky went vastly black and the only source of light was a full moon. It was after my marksman shift when I was eating at my great grandfather's restaurant right outside our military base. With my oily chopsticks falling to the ground, I race off into my mind and think about the 2 things that were massively bothering me during my shifts.

 

It was either my fear of the seargent promoting me to the front forces of PRC to begin the attacks against North Korea or teh fact that I might never see my lonesome wife again. The last time I saw her, her face was flooded with tears after she had read my epistle that I had left for her to read to tell her that Iäm leaving to serve our country. While she lay on our bed that was covered with an ancient Chinese silk, I was watching her fall asleep from a tree in our yard before I left to serve for PRC.

 

Coming back to my senses, I notice that everybody in the restaurant was staring at me with confused faces. I then notice the fact that tears are falling down my face as if I was a little new born baby. There was a silence. One of those times when you are jsut urging to talk but nothing comes out of your mouthbecause you are waiting for someone else to start something.

 

The silence was broken by an ear braking sound that was coming from the military base. I instantly jump out of my seat, bumbing the table so hard it flips over. My cup of rice fell to the floor and I started running out of the restaurant. Once I was out I halt in astonishment. I see the military base burning in fire, with people running out burning from every angle. I look up in the sky and see a North Korean fighter jet flying away.

 

Then I knew it. It was time to stop this. I was no longer scared of being sent to the front forces. My task now is to bring them down and bring victory to PRC.

 

Sincerely,

Xia Long

 

 

EDIT*

 

I'm not sure how long they should be so please tell me if this length is okay for BUYA stories.

Edited June 22, 2009 by The Guru

[Oxidizer]

I'm tempted to join in. Only, I'm not all that clear on things. Do we have to follow our teammate's story? Everyone's story? Or just do whatever we want? I don't get it.

 

I need a very, very simple explanation in layman's terms. I'm not the brightest spark.

[El Zilcho]

I'm tempted to join in. Only, I'm not all that clear on things. Do we have to follow our teammate's story? Everyone's story? Or just do whatever we want? I don't get it.

 

I need a very, very simple explanation in layman's terms. I'm not the brightest spark.

You can do whatever you want to do, you can interlink and interweave or go on your own and make a totally unique storyline that doesn't relate to any others. I hope you do join mate.

[Oxidizer]

Oh, sweet!

 

In that case, is there room for one more with Brazil?

Edited June 16, 2009 by Oxidizer

[Osric]

I think so, but I'll check.

[Build Up Your Army]

The Guru: Great story, but a little short. $50

 

Exclusiv3: Same as above, but slightly better. $60

 

mrPain: Nice and long, I like it. $75. M60 purchased

 

El Zilcho: I loved it, nice length and detail. $90

 

Osric: Katana purchased

 

MORE STORIES WILL BE RATED AS WE GO ALONG, THE REST OF THE RATINGS WILL BE FACTORED IN SOON! ALSO, IF YOUR STORY HAS GONE UNRATED, PM ME AND I WILL ATTEND TO IT!

-Osric

 

The money from earlier rated stories has been added, the unrated stories will be rated soon.

Edited June 16, 2009 by Build Up Your Army

[Osric]

Expect my third story tonight, I won't have Mikhail Zaroff as the main character, but he will be a major supporting character, as will the Sanctum Corporation executive Seth Kaiba. Sam and Carlos may re-appear as grunt soldiers in the NATO and Brazilian forces respectively, but instead, we will focus on a Russian private in the White Army named Dimitri Bakura, who is a young peasant intenseley loyal to the Czar.

 

I will also buy a katana

Edited June 16, 2009 by Osric

[The Guru]

 

The Guru: Great story, but a little short. $50

 

I wasn't sue what the length should be like and I just started writing but I hope to improve, my 2nd CHapter should be coming up pretty soon.

[mrpain]

I've written two stories but my 1st story nvr got rated. Plus I havent been added to Israel

[Exclusiv3]

Thanks for the review, BUYA.

 

I noticed that there's one money slot for each faction. Is the money we earn being pooled together?

[Eminence]

Thanks for the review, BUYA.

 

I noticed that there's one money slot for each faction. Is the money we earn being pooled together?

Yeah, that's how these things work.

[Exclusiv3]

 

Yeah, that's how these things work.

Thank you.

 

Also, might I suggest something? How about every once in a while, those in charge set like ...certain objectives to accomplish. For example, people could get extra money for "not killing anyone in a certain chapter" or for "writing a love scene".

 

Optional Objectives For The Next Chapter

• Write A Love Scene ($10)
• Write Your Character Into A Fight Scene, But Not Killing Who They Were Supposed To ($10)
• Write Your Entire Chapter In A Morning Setting ($5)

...Stuff like that. It'll make it seem like we're actually getting orders and adds a bit more structure. Maybe sometimes, instead of cash ...weapons, but the objectives would have to be difficult I'd imagine in those cases.

 

Your call.

 

 

[The Guru]

Yeah, that's how these things work.

Thank you.

 

Also, might I suggest something? How about every once in a while, those in charge set like ...certain objectives to accomplish. For example, people could get extra money for "not killing anyone in a certain chapter" or for "writing a love scene".

 

Optional Objectives For The Next Chapter

• Write A Love Scene ($10)
• Write Your Character Into A Fight Scene, But Not Killing Who They Were Supposed To ($10)
• Write Your Entire Chapter In A Morning Setting ($5)

...Stuff like that. It'll make it seem like we're actually getting orders and adds a bit more structure. Maybe sometimes, instead of cash ...weapons, but the objectives would have to be difficult I'd imagine in those cases.

 

Your call.

This sounds good. And when are the vehicles coming to BUYA?

[Build Up Your Army]

Added G3. More weapons to come, additional coding will be required for the vehicles, so that may take sometime.

[Eminence]

If you have a list of vehicles you want to incorporate I'll whip you up the table coding for it in 5 minutes, it's really not hard.

 

When's the rest of the ratings coming? I hate to be the guy who keeps questioning it, but I thought a fast start was imperative, and by falling behind it's halting the momentum of the entire idea.