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UrbanTheEmcee

Your Favorite Quotes

Recommended Posts

*MURDOC*

CB4 rules, especially when theyre doing Run-DMC and the tape gets eaten, I love that.

 

 

Anyway this one is kinda generic and can be used for any occasion, but heres a specific one I remember.

 

Dude A (to smoker): "Do you know how many people die everyday from cigarette smoke?"

Dude B: "No, how many?"

Dude A: "Oh I don't know, thats why I asked you."

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ryuclan
"Straight outta Locash, a crazy mothaf*cka named Gusto

I f*cked yo wife cause the bitch is a big hoe

I f*cked sista, I f*cked yo cat, I would f*ck yo mom but the bitch is too fat

When I'm in yo neighborhood you better dig a moat

Cause I come and slit, yo muthaf*ckin throat

Blood is drippin, I'm not trippin, bitches panties is what I'm rippin

Rollin faster than a mothaf*ckin dirtbike

Never met a piece of pussy that I didn't like

Like to eat it, like to suck it, take a sh*t in a bucket

Straight outta Locash"

-MC Gusto (Chris Rock) Cb4

"Comin straight out of Locash, a crazy motherf*cker named Dead Mike

So get ready cause you're goin for a long hike

off a cliff, I'm drivin you over

Now ya dead with ya fo' leaf clover

Float like a cannonball, sting like a shark

I'm the nigga waitin for you in the dark

Waitin to rob you, waitin to beat you

A bullet in ya head is how I greet you (whassup nigga?)

A villain with a hat, and it's like that

I tied yo' moms to a motherf*ckin train track

Flat on her back, I give her some crack

It's ten o'clock - DO YOU KNOW WHERE YO MOMS IS AT?

At my house (doin what?) wipin her ass

She had to move... STRAIGHT OUTTA LOCASH!!!"

I'm glad somebody knows where that's from. biggrin.gif

I thoutght this was post your favourite quotes not post your favourite lyrics.

Who says you can't quote a song?

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*MURDOC*

Speaking of lyrics...

 

"there's a party in my mind.....And I hope it never stops.....There's a party up there all the time..." ~David Byrne

 

 

 

Or, "I want to show people the movies...in...my...head" ~David Byrne, Interviewing himself, lol.

 

 

 

Bullet_Chris must not have noticed that theres lyrics in the first post.

Edited by *MURDOC*

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!!GC!!

"We are not decieved, we only decieve ourselves"

 

“You know the world is going to sh*t when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named Bush, Dick, and Colon.” - Comedian Chris Rock (2004)

 

My personal favourite (last sentance = f*cking true and hilarious):

“A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.”

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DemonKing
My personal favourite (last sentance = f*cking true and hilarious):

“A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.”

Ahahaha.

 

This is so true. I can relate to that fully.

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PacMaan

 

I thoutght this was post your favourite quotes not post your favourite lyrics.

Topic title : Your Favorite Quotes, (Movies/Games/Life/Music/Etc...)

 

suicidal.gif

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Loman

No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.

P. J. O'Rourke

 

Written laws are like spiders' webs, and will, like them, only entangle and hold the poor and weak, while the rich and powerful will easily break through them.

Anacharsis

 

Too many great quotes from the following people, so just search google tounge.gif

 

Steven Wright

Mitch Hedberg

George Carlin

Sam Kinnison

Hunter S Thompson

Henny Youngman

WC Fields

Rodney Dangerfield

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Nikofan112

 

"Two muscle-bound men, one tough and grizzled, the other young and spunky, who are clearly not interested in the one female of their acquaintance, go around wearing gimp masks, knocking over big missile erections, and even though they make hordes of money as private military contractors, can only afford one parachute, which they are a bit too eager to share." Yahtzee, on ARMY OF TWO's protagonists sexuality.

 

"A woman's body is a beautiful thing, but the head is worthless!" Crazy Don, Phantasmagoria.

 

 

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Gouveia
My personal favourite (last sentance = f*cking true and hilarious):

“A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.”

Ahahaha.

 

This is so true. I can relate to that fully.

Tell me about it!

 

 

sad.gif

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Naomi

"You f*ck me, then snub me.

You love me, you hate me.

You show me your sensitive side, then you turn into a total asshole!

Is that a pretty accurate description of our relationship, Tyler?"

- Marla: "fight club

 

"If you hold back anything, I'll kill ya.

If you bend the truth or I think your bending the truth, I'll kill ya.

If you forget anything I'll kill ya.

In fact, you're gonna have to work very hard to stay alive, Nick.

Now do you understand everything I've said?

Because if you don't, I'll kill ya."

- Rory Breaker: "Lock, Stock & two Smoking Barrels"

 

" 'Hey Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man?'

'No...have you?' "

Vasquez & Hudson - "Aliens"

 

"If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties?

How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?"

- Linda Ellerbee

 

"The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you're still a rat."

- Lily Tomlin

 

"You're much more interesting when you're online -- all of us are."

- Joy Browne

 

"The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off."

- Gloria Steinem

 

"Decent responsible parents are a royal pain: that's how you know you have them."

- Laura Schlessinger

 

"There are 3 sides to every story; his side; her side; and the truth sitting offside."

- Naomi (me)

 

" 'You know, you're much more attractive without your glasses.'

'That's a coincidense. Because you're much more attractive without my glasses too.' "

- Random bar *rsehole & Naomi (me)

Edited by Naomi

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*MURDOC*

"Y'know, these people, they go to bed thinking everythings fine, everythings good..........They wake up the next day and they're on fire!" ~G.I. Joe

 

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Gundog

"God creates Dinosaur, God destroys Dinosaur. God creates man, man destroys God. Man creates Dinosaur..."

 

Jeff Goldblum as Ian Malcolm, Jurassic Park.

Edited by Gundog

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McLovin2404

"If you're good at something never do it for free" - The Joker (The Dark Knight)

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FullMetal
"God creates Dinosaur, God destroys Dinosaur. God creates man, man destroys God. Man creates Dinosaur..."

 

Jeff Goldblum as Ian Malcolm, Jurassic Park.

icon14.gif Hell yeah!

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Typhus

Nope.

Edited by Typhus

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Guybrush Threepwood

I like me

me

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Typhus

"I changed my mind. Demarest just called me out on having to make myself feel better, so I'm going to open this and have him try to convince me he's not a pompous douchebag with a dead-end job!

 

Hint: It's not possible Dembo. Go to sleep, I'm pretty sure you're going to be real busy during your shift tomorrow. And no, I'm never going to stop giving you sh*t about being a f*cking pizza boy. All these years I thought you were some sort of internet God because of your insane ability to post 40 times a day, but now that I know you're a f*cking PIESLINGER it just makes everything so f*cking awesome. I could turn this into an e-penis contest and start posting pictures of girls, money, vehicles and guns, but I don't really feel like doing that until tomorrow.

 

Heh, f*cking pizzaboy. I'm sure riding around on a pizza Faggio felt all too realistic for you, aye"

Anuj

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makeshyft

I hate to quote myself, but some overweight, self-righteous c*nt of a woman bailed me up about smoking the other day.

 

Woman (as she is passing me on the street): *exasperated sigh*

Me: Do you have a problem?

Woman: Yeah, only that your cigarette is contributing to global warming!

Me: (smiling) And how's that?

Woman: Cigarettes add carbon-thingies to the air (exact quote).

Me: Actually, tobacco plants take as much carbon out of the air as cigarette smoke puts back in. As such, they are carbon neutral.

Woman: ... well, it's still bad for your health, and I shouldn't have to pay taxes to give you smokers health care.

Me: I pay a huge tax on my smokes for that very purpose. What tax do you pay for being fat?

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Typhus

"Oh you f*cking bastard!

Thanks for ruining the entire thread you f*cking stupid noob!!!

You ruined a f*cking appreciation topic thanking the good wriitng community you thick twat, your what is wrong with the internet you ill-educated little sh*t!

All your fault you f*cking moron you couldn't just shut that big f*cking whole in your face after about five warnings!

 

 

f*ck YOU!!! "

The Unvirginiser

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FullMetal
I hate to quote myself, but some overweight, self-righteous c*nt of a woman bailed me up about smoking the other day.

 

Woman (as she is passing me on the street): *exasperated sigh*

Me: Do you have a problem?

Woman: Yeah, only that your cigarette is contributing to global warming!

Me: (smiling) And how's that?

Woman: Cigarettes add carbon-thingies to the air (exact quote).

Me: Actually, tobacco plants take as much carbon out of the air as cigarette smoke puts back in. As such, they are carbon neutral.

Woman: ... well, it's still bad for your health, and I shouldn't have to pay taxes to give you smokers health care.

Me: I pay a huge tax on my smokes for that very purpose. What tax do you pay for being fat?

My god, is this really true? All I can say is, kudos to you man.

 

icon14.gif

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Guybrush Threepwood
I hate to quote myself, but some overweight, self-righteous c*nt of a woman bailed me up about smoking the other day.

 

Woman (as she is passing me on the street): *exasperated sigh*

Me: Do you have a problem?

Woman: Yeah, only that your cigarette is contributing to global warming!

Me: (smiling) And how's that?

Woman: Cigarettes add carbon-thingies to the air (exact quote).

Me: Actually, tobacco plants take as much carbon out of the air as cigarette smoke puts back in. As such, they are carbon neutral.

Woman: ... well, it's still bad for your health, and I shouldn't have to pay taxes to give you smokers health care.

Me: I pay a huge tax on my smokes for that very purpose. What tax do you pay for being fat?

What the f*ck does she even care that you smoke? It's not like she's smoking, and it's not been scientifically proven second-hand smoking causes cancer. (see the 1998 ruling by a federal court on this research, completely demolishing the EPA report that 99% of humanity bases this assumption on)

So the only thing she's doing is harassing you, wasting her breath, and missing that extra cheeseburger to clog her arteries.

 

I just don't get what moved her to talk to you. If you reversed the meeting and say; you were walking down the street, saw her gobbling down on a cheeseburger like it was the Last Meal and Jesus was already wrapping it up. You wouldn't tell her 'hey fatty, stop eating that and running up our healthcare bills!'

Why? Cause you're minding your own damn business.

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makeshyft

Hence why I was so annoyed.

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Guybrush Threepwood
I think the only conclusion we can draw is that henceforth all fatties have to be called out on being fat and chased down the street with pitchforks and torches.

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Overmorrow
I think the only conclusion we can draw is that henceforth all fatties have to be called out on being fat and chased down the street with pitchforks and torches.

Are you f*cking crazy? Who do you think you are with your big ass torch, do you have any idea how bad that is for the environment!? What with its green house gas... thingers...

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makeshyft

I find that fat people are generally the most irritable and self-righteous.

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Guybrush Threepwood
I find that fat people are generally the most irritable and self-righteous.

Neo-nazis are worse. But fat people make up for it with the fact that they outnumber neo-nazis 15000 to 1.

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El Zilcho
I find that fat people are generally the most irritable and self-righteous.

Neo-nazis are worse. But fat people make up for it with the fact that they outnumber neo-nazis 15000 to 1.

Let's not forget neo-nazi feminists.

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Guybrush Threepwood
I find that fat people are generally the most irritable and self-righteous.

Neo-nazis are worse. But fat people make up for it with the fact that they outnumber neo-nazis 15000 to 1.

Let's not forget neo-nazi feminists.

They want to kill all the jews AND fight for women's liberation rights?

Oh lordy wow.gif

 

 

Though in all honesty, I haven't seen neo's in a while. Which is odd, because last year there was a flare up in Germany and France over the ammount of racism-related crimes going up. And now it's gone. Good thing too, cause I can't be arsed saying 'guys, I don't give a sh*t' anymore.

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asimov

Isin't there a grumpy topic for rants?

 

 

 

Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.

 

 

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Seachmall

 

We only speak of faith when we wish to substitute emotion for evidence.

 

When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty.

 

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.

 

If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.

 

One should pause before making well-armed paranoids feel foolish, no matter how foolish they seem.

 

I'm a member of that half of the human race which is inclined to divide the human race into two kinds of people. My dividing line runs between the people who crave certainty and the people who trust chance.

 

Our current spooks are terrorists, child abductors, AIDS, and the underclass.  I would say drugs, but anyone who thinks that the War on Drugs is not actually the War on the Underclass hasn't been paying close enough attention.

 

The perfect bogeyman for Modern Times is the Cyberpunk!  He is so smart he makes you feel even more stupid than you usually do.  He knows this complex country in which you're perpetually lost.  He understands the value of things you can't conceptualize long enough to cash in on.  He is the one-eyed man in the Country of the Blind.

 

In the presence of a devil, it's always easier to figure out where you stand.

 

In Germany they came first for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a  Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I  wasn't a Jew. They came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a  trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a  Protestant. Then  they came for me, and by that time no one was left to speak up.

 

P.S. The John Perry Barlow quotes are from an Essay he wrote called "CRIME AND PUZZLEMENT", great read for anyone interested in the hacking culture.

Edited by Seachmall

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