D- Ice Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Well since it's my house, I will definately have a better knowlege ofthe terrain and environment. I'll set the scene for you this time... - This is America, you can do whatever you want to a tresspasser on private land for self-defence. - I'll sneak up on perp like a Vietcong ambush. - Surprise bum-sex - my cock is my heavy tripod mounted weapon. - Sex is my defence against boredom and sexual tension of having my xbox 360, nice TV, laptop or precious games stolen by a hot foxy female thief. - I'll call the cops and report attempted robbery andrape since she's the one who broke in. - If it's a guy, I'll wax his ass, pretend it's a girl, and treat the same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livejoker Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Well since it's my house, I will definately have a better knowlege ofthe terrain and environment. I'll set the scene for you this time...- This is America, you can do whatever you want to a tresspasser on private land for self-defence. - I'll sneak up on perp like a Vietcong ambush. - Surprise bum-sex - my cock is my heavy tripod mounted weapon. - Sex is my defence against boredom and sexual tension of having my xbox 360, nice TV, laptop or precious games stolen by a hot foxy female thief. - I'll call the cops and report attempted robbery andrape since she's the one who broke in. - If it's a guy, I'll wax his ass, pretend it's a girl, and treat the same. Can you please put more lotion? It feels as if there's none at all, god! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guybrush Threepwood Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 - If it's a guy, I'll wax his ass, pretend it's a girl, and treat the same. Good luck waxing a 300 pound gorilla named Jeff. Even if you do get the wax on, and start buttf*cking him, he's just gonna rip your cock off and walk away with your 360. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
makeshyft Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 - If it's a guy, I'll wax his ass, pretend it's a girl, and treat the same. Good luck waxing a 300 pound gorilla named Jeff. Even if you do get the wax on, and start buttf*cking him, he's just gonna rip your cock off and walk away with your 360. And your cock! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guybrush Threepwood Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 - If it's a guy, I'll wax his ass, pretend it's a girl, and treat the same. Good luck waxing a 300 pound gorilla named Jeff. Even if you do get the wax on, and start buttf*cking him, he's just gonna rip your cock off and walk away with your 360. And your cock! And your cock, yes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
copperwire93 Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 - If it's a guy, I'll wax his ass, pretend it's a girl, and treat the same. Good luck waxing a 300 pound gorilla named Jeff. Even if you do get the wax on, and start buttf*cking him, he's just gonna rip your cock off and walk away with your 360. And your cock! And your cock, yes. He's talking about yours eDad not his, and of course not mine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guybrush Threepwood Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 - If it's a guy, I'll wax his ass, pretend it's a girl, and treat the same. Good luck waxing a 300 pound gorilla named Jeff. Even if you do get the wax on, and start buttf*cking him, he's just gonna rip your cock off and walk away with your 360. And your cock! And your cock, yes. He's talking about yours eDad not his, and of course not mine He's not talking about my cock, because I'm not going to buttf*ck a 300 pound gorilla named Jeff. D-Ice is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
makeshyft Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I'm pretty sure D-Ice has. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guybrush Threepwood Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Oh snap! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ultraussie Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I'd grab a large, sharp, kitchen knife in one hand, and a fat peice of wood in the other. I would sneak up and then tackle him, prepared for the worse. Then I'd tie him up to a pole and call the cops. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ultraussie Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Oh snap! I lol'ed when I saw that pic of Joy from My Name is Earl Love that show! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McLovin2404 Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 My trusty cricket bat is handy. I'm all padded up incase they got the cricket ball. Of course, I'm the only person living in the residence no one else just to clarify that hehehe. And then I hit them for SIX and win the match Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
makeshyft Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I'm sorry, but have the Australian government bred a generation of f*cking morons? All the older dudes are ok, but you Aussie teens are dipsh*ts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guybrush Threepwood Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I AM NOT AUSTRALIAN Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chennaz321 Posted April 10, 2009 Author Share Posted April 10, 2009 This actually happened to me once, and let me tell you, it's pretty f*cking scary. You just freeze and try to keep as quiet as possible. I've had the privilege of my room being insulated to a degree, so the dude hasn't heard me when I was calling the cops. I barely heard him, and at the time I didn't know who that was, thought it was my mum, until I heard a masculine voice (He was probably calling some friends to help him steal sh*t, I dunno, haven't really thought about it.). My dad was working abroad, so I was sure it wasn't him. Basically, I just lied there, in my bed, frozen solid like a little sissy, but when I heard the siren, I took something (I dunno what it was, it's a memory I'd like to forget) and stormed out of the room, sorta roaring. The f*cker ran out of the house, but wasn't caught. Instead of catching him, the cops bugged us for the next 3 hours... Anyway, it's not a good feeling when you know an intruder is in your house, you get sweaty and your heart begins thumping like hell, and you simply, just can't move, or at least, that's what happened in my case. Yeah, I'm a pussy, at least I admit it and I don't pretend I'm a macho, Chuck Norris kinda guy. That sounds a lot like what i would do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lochie_old Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I'm sorry, but have the Australian government bred a generation of f*cking morons? All the older dudes are ok, but you Aussie teens are dipsh*ts. durr oztraylia.. rnt i frum der? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
makeshyft Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I'm sorry, but have the Australian government bred a generation of f*cking morons? All the older dudes are ok, but you Aussie teens are dipsh*ts. durr oztraylia.. rnt i frum der? Shut up and go get a southern cross tattoo, dipsh*t. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abcadgfawghaeheheahaeh Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 i would go out to the person and say WHAT THE f*ck ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SHXC Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I have a few empty vodka bottles on my window-sill above where I sleep. I'd probably just grab one of those and continue to beat the c*nt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quick Stop Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I would put my bed sheet over my head and run down the stairs whilst doing my battle cry. If i was robbing a house and a floating white sheet came towards me out of the blue at high speed then i would undeniably sh*t my pants. If for some reason that doesnt work then i would probably fight him, if he has a gun well then i would co-operate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nerner Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 sh*t myself Or go after him with a baseball bat and beat the crap out of him. I would probably do one of those two things. My money would be the first one, but who knows, I could turn all Jackie Chan on his ass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
copperwire93 Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Anyway what did Lochie said? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeeperRed Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Oh snap! I lol'ed when I saw that pic of Joy from My Name is Earl Srs u lol'd wen u saw that pic of joy from My Name is Earl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lethal Nizzle Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Open my window, jump out onto the tramboline and scramble into my shed. Someone's in my house? F*ck that, my Dad will sort him out! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeeperRed Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Open my window, jump out onto the tramboline and scramble into my shed. Someone's in my house? F*ck that, my Dad will sort him out! My Dad could beat up your Dad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lethal Nizzle Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Open my window, jump out onto the tramboline and scramble into my shed. Someone's in my house? F*ck that, my Dad will sort him out! My Dad could beat up your Dad Thanks for that. It won't be hard; I'm taller than my Dad, but he's a lot wider than me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Horror Is Alive Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I'd suck his penis. Sounds like a plan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chunk Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I'd sing to him. I'd sing Smooth Criminal and just as it gets to Annie, are you ok?, I'd whack him across the head with a brick. Where did I get the brick? Who knows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeeperRed Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Open my window, jump out onto the tramboline and scramble into my shed. Someone's in my house? F*ck that, my Dad will sort him out! My Dad could beat up your Dad I really don't think you got the joke did you Leatal Nizzle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D- Ice Posted April 11, 2009 Share Posted April 11, 2009 I'm pretty sure D-Ice has. What, so it's acceptable to wear clothes made by slave-labour swetshop kids in SE Asia and India for cheapness, eat food stolen of third world countries by ever-increasing debt interest the owe us for BS we sold them under dictatorship puppet governments - so much so the people are themselves starving as the are growing our land and agriculture-intensive fancy foods rather than basic staples for them to eat. We oh so gleefully pay taxes so we may clach our tongues and pretend to be contributing to society - while over 60% of them goes making horrendously more and more spphisticated military technology for blowing up women, children and innocent civilians, which we excuse for not being our intended targets - to make ourselves look better than the terrorists who don't own nearly as sophisticated weapons nor a PR adviser to say they weren't targetting kids. We then support the toppling of one blood-thirsty psycopath like Saddam, only to allow a complete power-vacuum, and for an Iranian-sponsered terrorism utilising scumbag like Maliki gets elected who indirectly allows for the killing of hundereds of times as much people in only a few years - and then we all vote to bring the soldiers back so the people we already let down get to be put through a real mincer by the scumbags in Iran and their terrorist, brainwashed traitors in Iraq. ... and you good sir think you can hold the higher moral ground and judge ME for waxing the ass off, f*cking, and giving a very sore ass due to being too cheap to have lube, of a 300lb gorilla called Jeff who broken into my home and attempted to stael my nice TV, xbox360 and games, and laptop? Shame o you! D- Ice walks away dignified, head held high, putting his top-hat on before exiting the bar with a Sol he didn't pay for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now