Voodoo Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 Someone entered your house in the middle of the night. Let me set the scene. You wake up in the middle of the night. You hear a door opening and then heavy footsteps shuffling along the floor. You have no weapons at the moment, but you may look around in search of an item of offense or defense. This is the second of my 'what would you do if' series, as my first one got locked before anybody could respond. I have no weapns at all!? I would do what I could to get back into my body because that out of body stuff is no place to be in such a situation. "No wapons" doesn't make mush sense to me. In layman's terms, he means: "My body is a finely tuned weapon" Now stay the hell off his lawn! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
makeshyft Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 "No wapons" doesn't make mush sense to me. Mush like "life", I assume, burnout. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HolyGrenadeFrenzy Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 "No wapons" doesn't make mush sense to me. Mush like "life", I assume, burnout. Hardly, but I find you amusing. Life makes plenty of sense to me. Yet unless you are completely paralyzed you have plenty of weapons to use in closed quarters, you fool. (In Mr. T accent) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
makeshyft Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 "No wapons" doesn't make mush sense to me. Mush like "life", I assume, burnout. Hardly, but I find you amusing. Life makes plenty of sense to me. Yet unless you are completely paralyzed you have plenty of weapons to use in closed quarters, you fool. (In Mr. T accent) Be honest with me, though: you got stuck into some illicit sh*t in your teens, yeah? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voodoo Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 Life makes plenty of sense to me. Yet unless you are completely paralyzed you have plenty of weapons to use in closed quarters, you fool. (In Mr. T accent) Shutup, foo. You can't know where you going 'til you know where you from. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HolyGrenadeFrenzy Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 (edited) "No wapons" doesn't make mush sense to me. Mush like "life", I assume, burnout. Hardly, but I find you amusing. Life makes plenty of sense to me. Yet unless you are completely paralyzed you have plenty of weapons to use in closed quarters, you fool. (In Mr. T accent) Be honest with me, though: you got stuck into some illicit sh*t in your teens, yeah? Over 50% of the population does, so what is your point? Besides, things being illicit doesn't end the progress a person goes through. Being stuck is something more than any certain kind of stuck. People get stuck and don't grow until they get unstuck, getting unstuck is a very vital set of lessons to learn and after the first set of the lesson it gets easier. Go out and make alot of mistatkes and learn from them so you don't make the same one's over and over again. Those that don't make any mistatkes are eiter delusional or inactive or both because only those who are not learning make no mistakes. Are you just going for the "your a druggie' and therefore blah, blah, blah....? If so, then you really don't know that much about life. @Voodoo> I agree with Mr. T yet he used that term repeatedly over the years in a variety of ways. Mr. T's Infinit Pity Edited April 9, 2009 by HolyGrenadeFrenzy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
makeshyft Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 Shutup, foo'. P.S. More relish, Jimmy (non-sexually). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Zilcho Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 I'd grab my katana, do a back flip off my bed and land directly in the middle of the room; facing the door. When the intruder came in, I'd slice and stab until they lost both arms, then cut them in half and push them down the stairs. Then I'd piss on the chunks of the corpse. Or maybe I'd just use my extensive booby trap knowledge from the 'nam and make a makeshift (hehe) trap that would sanre them in a net, and then i'd poke them with twigs until the polie arrive. U R B A N I T A S Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midnight Special Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 I jump out of the window Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Braindawg Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 I'd offer him two choises: Either to GTFO. Or to shut up, sit down, relax, and grab a beer with me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neal40000 Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 i would strip naked, turn on the party boy song and do the party boy dance to who ever is there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darthYENIK Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 I'd probably try and sneak up on him. Being this close to south central and east L.A. I have no idea if an intruder is armed or not, and I can't just flee, because my family is in the house. So I'd have one shot maybe, to grab a blunt object and try and knock him out. If I were a less moral man, I'd grab the knife I have in my night stand, and use that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Creed Bratton Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 Someone entered your house in the middle of the night. Let me set the scene. You wake up in the middle of the night. You hear a door opening and then heavy footsteps shuffling along the floor. You have no weapons at the moment, but you may look around in search of an item of offense or defense. This is the second of my 'what would you do if' series, as my first one got locked before anybody could respond. Dude, I am a weapon, a lethal weapon! I'd probably beat the crap out of the perp. I have the advantage of knowing my way around my house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HolyGrenadeFrenzy Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 (edited) Someone entered your house in the middle of the night. Let me set the scene. You wake up in the middle of the night. You hear a door opening and then heavy footsteps shuffling along the floor. You have no weapons at the moment, but you may look around in search of an item of offense or defense. This is the second of my 'what would you do if' series, as my first one got locked before anybody could respond. Dude, I am a weapon, a lethal weapon! I'd probably beat the crap out of the perp. I have the advantage of knowing my way around my house. Looks like somebody else understands my perspecitve. Heh, don't forget about your local areas ruling about excessive force, though. Luckily, with cases of home invasion, the courts and police back off the whole issue, most of the time, in Nebraska. Edited April 9, 2009 by HolyGrenadeFrenzy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
papanesta Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 As a nice guy who also has a really nasty side, I would have to make damn sure of the reality of the situation before I unleash my sleeping dragon. That sounds dirty as f*ck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blitsie Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 no weapons,eh? I'd just do something Watchmen-like,ya know? mainly because: I'm not stuck in here with him....HES STUCK IN HERE WITH ME!!! That was how Rorschach said it,right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3minty3 Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 I would lure said intruder into my "basement" by using a HDTV attached to a piece of string i am pulling. Then when the doors are locked I reenact a couple of SAW scenes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rmmstnr Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 I'd play Steven Wright jokes to a background of Celine Dion until they killed themselves by clawing out their ear canals with forks and other sharp instruments. Wearing the appropriate ear protection of course Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gouveia Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 I would yell some movie quotes so loud before he even sees me that he would think that I'm a psycho. Random Person: I'm gonna getchaaaa Me: WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM MEE? RP: Do you really want to know? Me: YOU WANT THE TRUTH? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! RP: What the fu-- Me: *Slams door* HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE'S JOHNNY! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr_bungle Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 Cockslap him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Now or Never Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 Well...I would gave him/her a bottle of beer (to be nice),and than I would puted up his/her's ass.And say:"have fun mastrubating, 'couse I have to get some sleep I got to go tomorow at work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Struff Bunstridge Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 Happened to me a few years ago. Me and a housemate were upstairs when we heard someone smash a window downstairs. We were pretty stoned, so we gave it a few seconds to make sure we weren't making it up or anything, and when we wre sure, we just grabbed something heavy and ran downstairs shouting and screaming. The guy went straight back out the window he'd come in through, and we sat there sh*tting ourselves till the sun came up. Then we called the police, who didn't really care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gundog Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 This actually happened to me once, and let me tell you, it's pretty f*cking scary. You just freeze and try to keep as quiet as possible. I've had the privilege of my room being insulated to a degree, so the dude hasn't heard me when I was calling the cops. I barely heard him, and at the time I didn't know who that was, thought it was my mum, until I heard a masculine voice (He was probably calling some friends to help him steal sh*t, I dunno, haven't really thought about it.). My dad was working abroad, so I was sure it wasn't him. Basically, I just lied there, in my bed, frozen solid like a little sissy, but when I heard the siren, I took something (I dunno what it was, it's a memory I'd like to forget) and stormed out of the room, sorta roaring. The f*cker ran out of the house, but wasn't caught. Instead of catching him, the cops bugged us for the next 3 hours... Anyway, it's not a good feeling when you know an intruder is in your house, you get sweaty and your heart begins thumping like hell, and you simply, just can't move, or at least, that's what happened in my case. Yeah, I'm a pussy, at least I admit it and I don't pretend I'm a macho, Chuck Norris kinda guy. You are an aperture through which the universe is looking at and exploring itself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manofpeace Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 Some people have a fight reaction, others have flight. If you have a flight one, in this case, you'll probably stay as still as you can and not do anything. If you have a fight reaction, you'll grab the nearest blunt object and proceed to bash in the offender's skull. Or, you know, you could call the cops. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1066ant Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I'd grab the nearest heavy object and burst out of my room making lots of noise and yelling threats and curses in my Yorkshire accent. If that doesn't scare them off they'll end up seeing a 5'6" idiot yelling and waving a large object around in the air like a manic. And that would paralyse them with laughter, giving me an oppurtunity to hit them repeatedly over the head with said object. The more likely option is I would remain quiet and wait to see if they come into my room, and if the do I'd be waiting beside the door with a heavy, blunt object to smash them in the face with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nikofan112 Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I would grab one of three things. 1. A replica Katana, not very sharp, but the point is. 2. My authentic Nazi bayonet. 3. My authentic French bayonet from 1793. Or, I would throw this lamp which has this acid-water in ti, so he would burn! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
devilrock28 Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 (edited) I was at someone's sleepover when I was like 10 and the 4 of us thought we heard someone upstairs. (We were in the basement.) So, we went upstairs with a blow-up hammer filled with air and found that my friend's dog was walking around and making the floors creak. If it had happened to me now I would probably grab one of the two metal baseball bats I have in my closet. Slowly walk down the stairs, get behind the guy and whack him in the head with the bat. Knocking him out cold probably wouldn't be the best idea since it would probably be one of my roommates. EDIT: I could throw a football at him since I have 2 in my closet or a baseball. Edited April 10, 2009 by devilrock28 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GTA3Rockstar Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I would grab one of three things. 1. A replica Katana, not very sharp, but the point is. 2. My authentic Nazi bayonet. 3. My authentic French bayonet from 1793. Or, I would throw this lamp which has this acid-water in ti, so he would burn! You're doing it wrong You can't have weapons Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sofa_king Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Four in the chest, then one in the ceiling.... So when the cops come you can point up at your "warning" shot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HolyGrenadeFrenzy Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 (edited) Four in the chest, then one in the ceiling.... So when the cops come you can point up at your "warning" shot. But are you going to give a gutteral growl of,"MMmm, fresh meat!", as he falls? Or are you going to just look at him with his last few seconds of in death consuming last stare conciousness and say somethng like,"Man, your face is going to be f*cked up, your definately a closed coffin situation....and your going to hell most likely!" I know.....I can be cruel to the wicked. Personally, I like the Watchmen quote usage is the best. Edited April 10, 2009 by HolyGrenadeFrenzy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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