chennaz321 Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 Someone entered your house in the middle of the night. Let me set the scene. You wake up in the middle of the night. You hear a door opening and then heavy footsteps shuffling along the floor. You have no weapons at the moment, but you may look around in search of an item of offense or defense. This is the second of my 'what would you do if' series, as my first one got locked before anybody could respond. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guybrush Threepwood Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 I'd lock the door and tell her to sleep on the couch. This is the fourth goddamn time that bitch came home drunk at 3 in the morning, and I gotta be out of bed at 5:30, so who the f*ck is she keeping awake? Goddamn, don't ever date an alcoholic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1ManArmy Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 I would stop, drop, roll. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeeperRed Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 Get the trusty samuri sword from under my bed and cut that f*cker into slices. Rape said slices and then eat/drink the evidance, even said samuri sword. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tw!tch Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 i have a stanley knife & a shifter in the draw next to my bed thats always somewhere good to start Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blizzard14 Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 I'd just go back to sleep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chennaz321 Posted April 9, 2009 Author Share Posted April 9, 2009 i have a stanley knife & a shifter in the draw next to my bed thats always somewhere good to start Thats true Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
makeshyft Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 It happened to me when I was living on the Gold Coast. Trust me - in that situation, everything becomes a weapon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1ManArmy Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 It happened to me when I was living on the Gold Coast. Trust me - in that situation, everything becomes a weapon. Damn, that sounds serious. What weapon did you use? hmm? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChanandlerBong Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 Well I sleep with my phone beside my bed so I could; 1. Phone the police and wait ages for them to come 2. Or find a sound that sounds like a burglar alarm and play it really loud to scare them off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
makeshyft Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 It happened to me when I was living on the Gold Coast. Trust me - in that situation, everything becomes a weapon. Damn, that sounds serious. What weapon did you use? hmm? It was a piece of wood that I would slot in the rail behind the window so that it could only be opened so far. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robinski Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 It happened to me when I was living on the Gold Coast. Trust me - in that situation, everything becomes a weapon. This is true. I've never been in the situation myself, but sometimes when I'm home alone at night I scare myself thinking "what if...?"s and then realise that you could use just about anything in the room to attack (or at least aid in an attack) on an intruder. For example, smashing a plate over someone'shead is definetly going to confuse /daze them and probably hurt; a lamp would hurt to be hit with; a small CD rack would really hurt ifused right. Hell, you could even just throw a heavy book at them, while theyre confused smack them one. Remember, if theyve broken into a house to steal, theyve probably selected a home where they believe nobody's home so you'll have the element of surprise. If, however, if theyve broken in to hurt you, then you're probably f*cked anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
papanesta Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 I would pretend I'd just broken in to the (my) house, and run out of my room screaming: "THE c*nt'S GOT A GUUUUUUN!" Either that, or beat them with my GTA IV safety deposit box. It's pretty solid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nlitement Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 I'd suck his penis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
copperwire93 Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 I will continue sleep, because it gotta be my dad, he works until midnight . If 'someone' mean a thief, I will smash him by using steel chair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
makeshyft Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 I'd suck his penis. Now if that doesn't equal 'element of surprise', I don't know what the f*ck does. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 I've got a rape alarm, bottle of deodorant and a lighter to hand...could be inventive with that. Deafen then bloke then stick the makeshift flamethrower in his face, then kick him in the nuts. To be honest I'd probably just hit the c*nt with the pickaxe handle I've got under my bed. Depends where I hear him. The house I live in has pretty narrow corridors upstairs which would mean swinging a wooden bar around would be a nuisance. If I hear him in the hallway downstairs I'd probably find something heavy to drop on the c*nt (open landing) then mash him with said stick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
makeshyft Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 stick the makeshift Leave me out of your squabbles, please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pico Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 I would probably just think it's my dad getting ready for work, or my brother getting home from a night out. So... I'd go back to sleep. Now, if I was sure it was some random person in my house... I'd whistle for my dog to come with me down stairs, and I'd say to her "who is it? Whos is it?! Go get him!" and she'll go f*ckin nuts. I'd follow her of course. She's a little bitch and if attacked she'd turn right around and run. I'm a pretty big guy, and while I don't think I can take any one on (far from it), I think in the dark of night in a strangers house the person would be sh*tting them self if I came running down yelling at them with a dog barking and growling. And yes, I'd be prepared to kick the sh*t out of them. They're invading my territory, my personal, private space. When it comes to that, I get very defensive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
makeshyft Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 I would probably just think it's my dad getting ready for sex! sh*t, man! Would you like me to contact a rape crisis centre? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cursed Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 Since I'm scrawny, I don't think fighting would be the best option. So I'd probably end up barracading my door with something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voodoo Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 I haven't got nearly enough crack for unexpected guests. I would hunker down and hope they step on one of my strategically placed land mines. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GTA3Rockstar Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 (edited) I would probably just think it's my dad getting ready for sex! sh*t, man! Would you like me to contact a rape crisis centre? Even the Ronald McDonald House for children. Poor Pic. CHANGE OF SUBJECT What would you do if you weren't given your Klondike bar? Edited April 9, 2009 by GTA3Rockstar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guybrush Threepwood Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 CHANGE OF SUBJECT What would you do if you weren't given your Klondike bar? I'd lock the door and tell her to sleep on the couch. This is the fourth goddamn time that bitch came home without a Klondike at 3 in the morning... this is feeling like a deja vu. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
makeshyft Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 I don't even know what a Klandart bar is, so you can get f*cked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorlockGod Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 As a nice guy who also has a really nasty side, I would have to make damn sure of the reality of the situation before I unleash my sleeping dragon. I once forgot that there was a scheduled early-morning inspection on the block of flats where I live... I would have felt unbelievably guilty if the red mist faded away to find myself standing panting over the still twitching corpse of the building inspector, face half smashed in, eyes gouged out and a widening pool of deep red blood ruining my carpet. As it was I scared the sh*t out of him when I shouted at the opening door. It does pay to be sure before you have to go to court for assault or worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voodoo Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 I don't even know what a Klandart bar is, so you can get f*cked. Meh, close enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
makeshyft Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 I don't even know what a Klandart bar is, so you can get f*cked. Meh, close enough. I don't even know what a Hitlol is, so you can get f*cked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
?!=+_- Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 I'd get dressed quick then get my gas gun even though I wouldn't need it but just for the fun of it and see what was going on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HolyGrenadeFrenzy Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 Someone entered your house in the middle of the night. Let me set the scene. You wake up in the middle of the night. You hear a door opening and then heavy footsteps shuffling along the floor. You have no weapons at the moment, but you may look around in search of an item of offense or defense. This is the second of my 'what would you do if' series, as my first one got locked before anybody could respond. I have no weapns at all!? I would do what I could to get back into my body because that out of body stuff is no place to be in such a situation. "No wapons" doesn't make mush sense to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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