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Kidnap Horror


MrJohn666
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Thanks for all your kind messages of support and ideas people.

 

Rest assured, that during this mega-crisis, I have saught comfort in the arms of my new friend, Steve, the invisible mute six-foot fluffy bunny with a machine gun and bats for lips.

I'd send Steve after the kidnappers if I was you.

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Good call. But I asked him and he reminded me that he doesn't exist.

confused.gif

Edited by MrJohn666
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HolyGrenadeFrenzy
Thanks for all your kind messages of support and ideas people.

 

Rest assured, that during this mega-crisis, I have saught comfort in the arms of my new friend, Steve, the invisible mute six-foot fluffy bunny with a machine gun and bats for lips.

I'd send Steve after the kidnappers if I was you.

Absolutely, especially if he is related to Harvey!

 

Those guys have the serious mojo. icon14.gif They can alter reality and sh*t! monocle.gif

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Right, I've punted this email round:

 

 

Hi everyone,

As you know, the kidnappers have placed a ransom of £100 on Clive's head, which I am not going to pay.

 

Instead, I will reward anyone who brings me the head of those responsible for Clive's disappearance and returns Clive to me safely. 

 

Thanks.

 

 

Mr John

 

It's stirred up some worried questions, possible betrayals and winks.

devil.gif

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Bring in a saw/axe to work, plonk it in the middle of the office and say to everyone:

 

"Thought it might help."

 

I'd love to see the faces. smile.gif

--- AMF ---

 

user posted image

 

-= A joke is a very serious thing - Winston Churchill =-

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sad.gif

 

>>> Clive Chicken <[email protected]> 19/02/2009 16:51 >>>

The deadline is fast approaching Mr John.

 

Hope you've got the cash together.

 

If you want to see Clive again......... in one piece !!!

 

Signed,

The Kidnappers.

 

 

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This ain't as sad as the monkey story, poor Travis the show/ circus monkey was put down for all of the wrong reasons.

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sad.gif

 

>>> Clive Chicken <[email protected]> 19/02/2009 16:51 >>>

The deadline is fast approaching Mr John.

 

Hope you've got the cash together.

 

If you want to see Clive again......... in one piece !!!

 

Signed,

The Kidnappers.

what are you going to do? nervous.gif

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I'm telling you, Clive kidnapped himself. He just wants the money for bus tickets so he can get away from you.

 

Put the money on the chair and tie a cage above it, then begin your wait. Your punishment for Clive for trying to escape is completely up to you.

Slosten.gif

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Set up a webcam, get a Justin.tv account and wait at home.

 

Then bring the video in on Monday and show it to everyone humiliating the captor.

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HolyGrenadeFrenzy

Leave the bag with Monopoly Money in it and then use the camera to catch the perps on it.

 

When they freak over the cash issue just tell them that is all you are paid in.

 

What do they expect from a guy whose best friend is a rubbr chicken?

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The justin.tv idea is great. Everyone can watch then, and I believe you can record it on their server. I've been broadcasting on jtv since last July. It's a decent service. icon14.gif

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Do you think I'm bothered because you "found" my myspace page after I linked the Clive photos from it?

 

Really?

 

I put stuff on the Internet and you "found" it? Oooh, well done Sherlock Holmes. Treasure f*cking island. Here's another pic of me, from myspace, helping you with your water supply.

 

user posted image

 

Hey folks, how about me doing stand up comedy?

 

http://www.teamfishcake.co.uk/articles/Mr_John_Live

 

 

Knock yourself out kitten, it's just more hits on my sh*t.

cool.gif

 

 

Mr John. Not needing to insult those who make themselves look stoopid since 1977.

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Hey folks, how about me doing stand up comedy? 

 

http://www.teamfishcake.co.uk/articles/Mr_John_Live

 

 

(By low quality, we don't mean that the performance is less funny than the other one. No, that would be stupid. You f*cking c*nt.)
lol.gif

 

Had sex with a small child who had ADD?! biggrin.gif

Edited by Seachmall
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Nope.

Because that's me.

biggrin.gif

 

And what a handsome devil I am.

inlove.gif

You look like that 'Hammer' guy from the 80's biggrin.gif

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You should feel honored MrJohn, I'll be disgracefully plagiarizing your material down the pub and passing it off as my own.

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You should feel honored MrJohn, I'll be disgracefully plagiarizing your material down the pub and passing it off as my own.

Hahahahaaha!

Yeah! I'm very flattered mate, thanks. Let me know how it goes down.

 

Wow! Gangster Stripper! Look at all the lovely compliments I'm getting.

biggrin.gif

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Edited by fuckindumass
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