MrJohn666 Posted February 18, 2009 Author Share Posted February 18, 2009 The band? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Girish Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 (edited) Wrong topic. Sorry. oops nevermind delete You posted in the wrong topic too? This kidnapping horror is messing with our heads. Edited February 18, 2009 by girishb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Democrab Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 it was me! but you´ll never see the chicken again.i dont really want your filthy money. i dont need your filthy money i just take what i want. i spit on the system. and now your belowed chicken has become my most recent victim. if you want to see him again go to bed, close your eyes and remember the good times you had. because that´s as close as you will get to Clive ever again. MUAHHAHHAHHAAAAA!!!! you think i would even open such a letter!? i´ll just burn it. You're not funny, this ruined the joke for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
860 Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 You're not funny, this ruined the joke for me. then my job here is done Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie280 Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Errr, guys, Clive is a girl. Hence chicken. As opposed to having a rubber COCK in my desk. You have one of those too, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrJohn666 Posted February 18, 2009 Author Share Posted February 18, 2009 Technically yes, but you borrowed it. I don't want it back though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hodgey. Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 There's is only one thing that you can do if you ask me. Just go John McClain on everybodys ass they'll soon give you the chicken back when they see that your serious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
860 Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 no no, if you´re serious you need to use caps lock and kill a lion with a knife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lega_c Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Pay up or she gets it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dingdongs Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 I'll pay for his security detail once you guys get him back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristopherD Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 lmmfao! Mr. John, I always thought that your online persona was somehow a manifestation of your comically dark split personality... Now I know that your whole LIFE is a cartoon...rofl Wish I had the balls to live what I feel... Kudos! P.S. I have a mini-chicken and micro chicken on my desk too... Am sending them into hiding until this whole thing blows over... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrJohn666 Posted February 18, 2009 Author Share Posted February 18, 2009 Mate, my life is completely silly, all the time. At some point the mirthswitch got stuck. No online personality at all, I am always like this. I think I know who has Clive by the way - photo properties say it was taken with a K610i phone, I think I know who uses such a device. I'm gonna email the whole department offering the ransom to whoever brings me the head of the kidnapper. Kudos to whoever thought of that, I'm too lazy to check. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Clive kidnapped himself. It was a clever scheme, but I figured out the whole scenario. One day, after eating lunch, you had a vicious case of the sh*ts. You went to the restroom, leaving Clive behind at your desk. He realized he had his chance and took it. Using supplies from your desk, he wrote his own ransom letter, and left it there before running off with your phone, which he used to take the picture of himself. After you pay the ransom, he'll use the money to buy two bus tickets: one for himself, and one for the phone. He'll put the phone on the other bus, heading in the opposite direction, to distract you if you try to trace him. My advice? Leave the money on the chair, and tie a barely visible string to it. Tie the other end to a cage above the chair, so if anyone tries to take the envelope, they will be trapped inside the cage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HolyGrenadeFrenzy Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 (edited) I assure you that if you pay them you will never see Clive again, he knows too much. This is what you do: On Friday afternoon before everybody starts heading off, jump unto your desk and announce, whilst scanning the room, looking everyone individually in the eyes, "My friend, Clive, has been kidnapped from this very office and held for ransom. Instead I offer you this: One Hundred Quid on the head of the kidnapper — would your accomplices really hesitate to turn you in? Until my rubber chicken is returned to my desk I will not pay a penny." (or something to that effect). Of course you will be inundated with hundreds of rubber chickens, but be patient and he will eventually be returned unharmed — or at least I think that's how the movie ended. This may actually work. But it could be that you deal with some real psychos that are just trying to see how important your own rubber chicken is to you. So, you could offer them an honorable way out and tell them that if they hand over Clive that you will get them their OWN rubber chickens and they can learn to love them as well. ......or not but a chance to save face and bow out is often important in negotiations and giving up the money is not an option. ----------------------------------- I find this matter very disconcerting and I will not let my own rubber chicken go out for any reason. I even called my mother and ask her about how her rubber chicken is doing after hearing about this and she said,"You must be careful about rubber chickens or you turn your baqk and they are gone!" I am not one to ignore my mother on such matters because Flowers has been a member of our family for over three decades. Edited February 18, 2009 by HolyGrenadeFrenzy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristopherD Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 (edited) What the HELL! My micro-rubber chicken is gone! I am serious (no joke). When I posted to this thread this morning it was right in front of my monitor, and now it is gone!!! Son of a BITCH! I mentioned to a bunch of ppl in the lunchroom what had happened to Clive...one of those motherf*ckers must have....GODAMNIT! I have had that for more than ten years! (its only an inch long) What the Hell is wrong with ppl! They need to leave other ppls rubber chickens alone! And NO RANSOM NOTE! f*ck! EDIT:@Seachmall - You a funny guy... Edited February 18, 2009 by ChristopherD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HolyGrenadeFrenzy Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 I would definately report this to your employers. Theft is usually grounds for dismissal and ask them to allow for the return of the rubber chickens and an end to the jokes. Theft and asking for a ransom for something that belongs to you is a crime, a petty crime but a crime none the less. HolyGrenadeFrenzy plans escape routes and subterfuge hiding places for his rubber chicken and all of the members of his family as well......when something unexpected happens My wife, LadyNitro, just told me that,"Unless his wife kills it," then she explains that she has been planning my rubber chicken's demise for some time now. I had no idea she felt that way about Lucy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pagelzilla Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 At least you know it needs no plucking... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seachmall Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 What the HELL! My micro-rubber is gone (its only an inch long)! I am serious (no joke). QFT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarz Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 I'd use/borrow a digital camera and position it somewhere suitable facing towards your desk. I would then leave the envelope as requested with a note within, as follows: Dear Chicken-napper, As you read this, you will no doubt be outraged that the requested ransom of $100 is not enclosed. I do not negotiate with criminals. Clive is a dear friend of mine, and whilst failure to comply with your demands may result in his untimely demise, he will undoubtedly perish knowing that his death was not in vain. Even now, I am taking steps to find you and unleash retribution upon your tainted soul. Any mascot that you hold dear will now be watching over their shoulder. You should keep a close eye on your favourite ball-point, and next time you sit upon your chair you'd better check for a fine layer of glue. You called down the thunder. Now reap the whirlwind. Kind regards, ___________ I'd then play a suitable ploy in return. It'd be awesome. Best of luck. --- AMF --- -= A joke is a very serious thing - Winston Churchill =- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HolyGrenadeFrenzy Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 (edited) I'd use/borrow a digital camera and position it somewhere suitable facing towards your desk. I would then leave the envelope as requested with a note within, as follows: Dear Chicken-napper, As you read this, you will no doubt be outraged that the requested ransom of $100 is not enclosed. I do not negotiate with criminals. Clive is a dear friend of mine, and whilst failure to comply with your demands may result in his untimely demise, he will undoubtedly perish knowing that his death was not in vain. Even now, I am taking steps to find you and unleash retribution upon your tainted soul. Any mascot that you hold dear will now be watching over their shoulder. You should keep a close eye on your favourite ball-point, and next time you sit upon your chair you'd better check for a fine layer of glue. You called down the thunder. Now reap the whirlwind. Kind regards, ___________ I'd then play a suitable ploy in return. It'd be awesome. Best of luck. Epic Retort! Using the camera recording method will allow for more than a little pay back. That is for sure! The letter should be in the bag on the chair and the camera should berecording the approach to the desk if he wants to catch the villians face. Or not if the identity is not that important to the intimidation factor yet the camera should be disguised or placed in such a manner as to escape recognition and this should be done under subterfuge as well. Nothing should look odd or out of place. He should actually mock up putting the moeny in the bag in front of withnesses after the rest of the set up is prepared and rolling and then palm the money out of the bag. Classic. Edited February 18, 2009 by HolyGrenadeFrenzy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrJohn666 Posted February 19, 2009 Author Share Posted February 19, 2009 Latest email from the kidnappers: >>> Clive Chicken <[email protected]> 18/02/2009 22:13 >>> Less when 48 hours till the deadline. Clive got very upset when we did this (attached). Don't make things worse for him Mr John. PAY UP !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lochie_old Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 It's obvious what you need to do. Take a picture of your wang and post it on 4chan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1ManArmy Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Oh noes, the situation is getting worse. I have to contact the president. Dear Barack Hussein Obama, president of the United States, I regret to inform you that one of our finest rubber Chickens, Clive, has been kidnapped a few days ago. The kidnappers are holding her hostage for a ransom of 100$. Our intelligience suspect they could be related to the Bush extremist supporters in the Republicans to falter the faith and hope the Americans has for you, sir. We suggest you give us the green light to arrest George Bush under suspicion of the kidnap. This is a time of danger, we should declare a state of emergency and cripple the current Republicans by force. 1ManArmy, Head Chief of the Ministry of Defence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yzzybones Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 this is chicken madness Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
860 Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 this is chicken madness madness? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrJohn666 Posted February 19, 2009 Author Share Posted February 19, 2009 Thanks for all your kind messages of support and ideas people. Rest assured, that during this mega-crisis, I have saught comfort in the arms of my new friend, Steve, the invisible mute six-foot fluffy bunny with a machine gun and bats for lips. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hart Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 ^ Another guy trying to be "quirky" or "eccentric" on a forum. It sickens me. IT SICKENS ME I TELLS YA. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seachmall Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Latest email from the kidnappers: >>> Clive Chicken <[email protected]> 18/02/2009 22:13 >>> Less when 48 hours till the deadline. Clive got very upset when we did this (attached). Don't make things worse for him Mr John. PAY UP !! I've locked down their account for 24 hours, that should delay the deadline. I wish you luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrJohn666 Posted February 19, 2009 Author Share Posted February 19, 2009 ^ Another guy trying to be "quirky" or "eccentric" on a forum. It sickens me. IT SICKENS ME I TELLS YA. Another English bawbag with nae sense of humour that can't use the "quote" button, IT DOESN'T SICKEN ME AT ALL, I'M NAE BOTHERED f*ck OFF BAWBAG I TELLS YA. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hayden Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 ^ Another guy trying to be "quirky" or "eccentric" on a forum. It sickens me. IT SICKENS ME I TELLS YA. Another English bawbag with nae sense of humour that can't use the "quote" button, IT DOESN'T SICKEN ME AT ALL, I'M NAE BOTHERED f*ck OFF BAWBAG I TELLS YA. Yeah, what this guy said — I think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now