MrJohn666 Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Yesterday my world was plunged into darkness. Clive, the rubber chicken who lives in my desk at work, was kidnapped. I have received the following pics and demands from the kidnappers: >>> Clive Chicken <[email protected]> 17/02/2009 19:00 >>>Mr John, Clive tells us you have just been paid so will have no problems stumping up the cash. £100, in a brown padded envelope to be left on your chair when you leave work on Friday. If this is paid in full Clive will be returned unharmed. If it isn't, Clive will feel a pain that no chicken should have to feel. !! Picture of Clive attached to show you he has been unharmed............... for now !!! Signed, The Kidnappers This is terrible. I might have to spend 2 quid on a NEW Rubber Chicken! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
makeshyft Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 I was thinking about moving to Scotland, but not now. Terrifying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Machida Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Give them English notes. f*cking kidnapping scum. They deserve it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Girish Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Is that the bald chicken!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO....!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waddy Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 'We do not negotiate with terrorists' Works in all the films. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1ManArmy Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Is this gonna be a forum game or something? Cause it looks quite fun lol. Give us some clues or something... a puzzle to solve or...or... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuckindumass Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Pffft. It's not even a screaming chicken. Let it die. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Machida Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Is that the bald chicken!? My keen eye notes not only is the chicken naked but it's also been strapped to the chair face first. There's no telling what manner of things the kidnappers have been shoving up there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lochie_old Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 I'm so scared right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GogZ Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Heavy times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mainland Marauder Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 'We do not negotiate with terrorists' Works in all the films. Not always. The president of the United States paid Dr. Evil $100 billion in the second Austin Powers movie. That would be negotiating with terrorists, no? Bring back Clive....alive! "You tell me exactly what you want, and I'll explain to you very carefully why it cannot be." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deejayb1874 Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Welease Bwian. I mean Clive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vanilla Shake Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Woah, this is heavy doc. TC718 / <629 / CF5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperJude™ Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 I'd make certain that's the REAL Clive, it could just be a well done photochop :sadness: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seachmall Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Not always. The president of the United States paid Dr. Evil $100 billion in the second Austin Powers movie. That would be negotiating with terrorists, no? Austin Powers? Are you f*cking serious? Everyone knows Die Hard movies are the only reliable sources of information on how to handle terrorists! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hayden Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 I assure you that if you pay them you will never see Clive again, he knows too much. This is what you do: On Friday afternoon before everybody starts heading off, jump unto your desk and announce, whilst scanning the room, looking everyone individually in the eyes, "My friend, Clive, has been kidnapped from this very office and held for ransom. Instead I offer you this: One Hundred Quid on the head of the kidnapper — would your accomplices really hesitate to turn you in? Until my rubber chicken is returned to my desk I will not pay a penny." (or something to that effect). Of course you will be inundated with hundreds of rubber chickens, but be patient and he will eventually be returned unharmed — or at least I think that's how the movie ended. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperJude™ Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Your first problem, MrJohn, is that you didn't train Clive to kill himself were he to be abducted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seachmall Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 I assure you that if you pay them you will never see Clive again, he knows too much. This is what you do: On Friday afternoon before everybody starts heading off, jump unto your desk and announce, whilst scanning the room, looking everyone individually in the eyes, "My friend, Clive, has been kidnapped from this very office and held for ransom. Instead I offer you this: One Hundred Quid on the head of the kidnapper — would your accomplices really hesitate to turn you in? Until my rubber chicken is returned to my desk I will not pay a penny." (or something to that effect). Of course you will be inundated with hundreds of rubber chickens, but be patient and he will eventually be returned unharmed — or at least I think that's how the movie ended. Jesus, that's it! I completely forgot Mel Gibson released an instructional DVD on this very topic. NOTE: Replace 'SON' with 'CHICKEN' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GtaHitmanStrikesBack Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 ''We hold the chicken ransom for 100 billion dollars'' You better pay up or you never see him again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iminicus Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 No rubber chicken is safe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrJohn666 Posted February 18, 2009 Author Share Posted February 18, 2009 Errr, guys, Clive is a girl. Hence chicken. As opposed to having a rubber COCK in my desk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
860 Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 it was me! but you´ll never see the chicken again. i dont really want your filthy money. i dont need your filthy money i just take what i want. i spit on the system. and now your belowed chicken has become my most recent victim. if you want to see him again go to bed, close your eyes and remember the good times you had. because that´s as close as you will get to Clive ever again. MUAHHAHHAHHAAAAA!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fnorg Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 100 pounds? Go get yourself a new one from the 99 pence store and send those filthy kidnappers a raunchy letter filled with obscenities. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
860 Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 you think i would even open such a letter!? i´ll just burn it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hart Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Buy a new one and carry it around so the kidnapper at your work sees you dont care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baptiste Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 100 pounds? Go get yourself a new one from the 99 pence store and send those filthy kidnappers a raunchy letter filled with obscenities. You cant replace Clive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Furnace Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Buy a new one and carry it around so the kidnapper at your work sees you dont care. And so you'll be the most awesome guy at work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
makeshyft Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Errr, guys, Clive is a girl. Hence chicken. As opposed to having a rubber COCK in my desk. You were just waiting for that, weren't you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hart Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 oops nevermind delete Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PacMaan Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 It's obviously one of the cleaners. Just do as they say - £100, in a brown padded envelope to be left on your chair when you leave work on Friday. But lace it with Anthrax. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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