A bit of a strange question

[TheGuyFromThere]

Ok well I'm sure the topic title was enough to confuse you. How does he have a problem getting the girl that wants him?!

 

Well here's the story so far;

 

Basically I was in a 3 year relationship with a girl from about 2005-2008 (though it started going onto the rocks in late 07)

We'll call her G.

 

Towards the end of 07, October 10th exactly, I was at a mates house party and there was another girl there who right away I was attracted to... she was pretty f*ckin hot and had a great personality... and I ended up getting off with her at the end of the night... you know, jus lyin on a couch with her holding hands, kissing etc.. as you do.. We'll call her L.

 

Well a few times after this over the next few months I begin to see L every so often, meeting up to walk around and again more kissing etc... meanwhile, however, the original girl, G, was still on and off with major fights etc... it was starting to go sour and I could see this, but as I loved G, I was always swayed back to her... stupidly.

 

However, every time I was out with L I was becoming more and more attracted to her... now that was in the latter half of 07/beginning of 08... then I guess my fickleness with G began to annoy L... I would be all over L then all over G and so on so forth... and then L stopped seeing me as much until it stopped all together. Rightly so...

 

Now about 2 weeks ago L signed onto MSN for the first time and of course I sent her a msg straight away, started talking to her and long story short, I told her the whole deal whereby although I was fickle about G I really did want to see L and made the mistake of going back with G time and time again.

 

Now it's completely over with G (and was at the beginning of 08 I guess) and no matter what G says or does, I will never accept her back for reasons that are not relevant.

 

In that same conversation I told L this and told L how much I really did like her, want to see her and how sorry I was for making that stupid mistake and if there was anything I could do or say for her to forgive me and give me another chance as it was fully over with G.

She said, as soon as it's over with her bf then she'll be looking for a kiss so to speak...

 

Now, L has a boyfriend.

 

The thing is though, in that same conversation L told me her bf basically is an ass hole and an idiot and any excuse at all to end the relationship would be welcomed... at which point then I'd maybe in for a chance.

 

Sweet I thought... great news.

 

Now L tried breaking up with her boyfriend about a week ago and that didn't go so well.. a few days later I sent her a text asking her if "she wanted to be rescued" to which she replied "rescue me"... so I said ok, obviously.

 

Now this leaves me in the confusing part.

 

Exactly how do I rescue L?

 

She's tried breaking up with him in a traditional sense, and that didn't work... nor do I fancy killing her bf...

 

I'm worried that the guy is the abusive type... I don't know in what way but if physical then yea sure I'll kill him no probs lol.

 

But how do I;

 

A) Get her to successfully break up with her bf?

B) Get her to be mine?

 

Many thanks for the time taken to read this.

 

THOSE WHO DID NOT READ ALL OF THE ABOVE, f*ck OFF.

THOSE WHO HAVE SOME SMART ARSE REMARK "KILL HIM N HAVE UR WAY WITH HER LOLOLOL"; f*ck OFF

[Sixdust]

Try the typical asshole thing, walk up to her with the boyfriend around, and say "Hey baby, who's this? Is that your brother or your cousin? Nice to meet you "GUY's NAME" I'm L's boyfriend, and you are? Have her kiss you and say "this is my ex boyfriend GUY"S NAME".

 

If the dude doesn't get the message, offer him some video games as a trade.

[Picolini]

KILL HIM N HAVE UR WAY WITH HER LOLOLOL

 

Just get out of the situation.

"She said, as soon as it's over with her bf then she'll be looking for a kiss so to speak..."

 

You're a tool and she's using you. Get out.

[Gouveia]

Make her boyfriend look like an asshole in front of her. If you manage to do that, she will fight with him and then you're free to go, at least to Step 2, wich answer is BE YOURSELF (unless you're an asshole).

[ryuclan]

I don't see how trying to break up with someone can "not work out well." Did she say I'm leaving you and he said no or something? Anyway if L is an asshole then more then likely you and him will be having it out some time in the future. Best choice is to get them somewhere public or at least somewhere where you know somebody will have your back. Have her break up with him, if he tries anything stupid then put the hands on him. If he just accepts it then just run off into the sunset bitch.

 

 

I dont know why she needs a reason to leave him. It's a relationship not a job (maybe a blowjob har har) and if she wants out she has the right to get out.

[K^2]

Tricky...

 

Basically, you have to challenge and defeat him. It does not have to be a physical challenge, and it does not need to be direct. Two things to keep in mind here. First, he needs to be the asshole, not you. If you challenge him directly, you have to make it clean. Second, it can easily escalate to a physical fight, and you have to accept it and be prepared for it.

 

Best thing you can do is defeat him intellectually, and let him escalate it into a fight. Then you achieve every objective. He looks like an idiot, an asshole, insecure about self, and if you manage to beat him, also weak. If you loose the physical fight, that still isn't too bad. Might even get the benefits of sympathy out of it. Just, you know, don't chicken out. That's one thing you can do wrong. Any action you make out of fear will cost you, regardless of what it is.

 

There is even an easy way to throw down the challenge without having to come up with anything clever. Simply ask her for a good location. Meet the two of them there, and explain your intentions towards L to him. The rest will take care of itself. Of course, you are running the risk of it escalating into physical right away, without any intermediate steps, but it is still a win for you. This is automatic defeat for him in intellectual and moral level. All that's left is the physical challenge, and as long as you don't chicken out, him winning it won't turn the tide. And as said above, if you manage to beat him at that as well, it's a done deal.

 

Risks. She might not like you as much as you think, and it'd be for nothing. This can expose any weaknesses you have. Physical weakness isn't even the worst on the list. And, of course, you risk a few bruises, but that's not something you can avoid in life.

[makeshyft]

Just flash her this sig and she'll be yours:

 

[Gamernotnerd]

Whip it out, and have a cockfight.

Whip it out® is a trademark of the Grand Theft Auto Forums, any other use will result in a lawsuit.

[Digïtál £vîl]

A girl who forces YOU to break up with HER boyfriend is not a girl you should even waste your time on.

 

Seriously, you may think you are "rescuing" her but if she doesn't care enough to grow a backbone to stand up to and break up with her boyfriend, then she doesn't find you important enough to try for a relationship seriously anyways and you will likely end up being her errand-boy. If you do this thing for her, she will make you do everything for her as she slowly tears apart your soul and laughs at your pussiness when you aren't around. In fact, I think I hear her now.

 

 

Further, she's a bitch.

 

So do opposite of what you think you should be doing and just say "no".

[copperwire93]

Find another girl mate, i think you are good at this rather than 'rescue her'

[Otter]

What the f*ck do you want a relationship with this girl for? Just fool around behind the douchebag's back, and if he finds out, Hail Mary, you've just solved her f*ckin' problem.

 

 

 

[Lochie_old]

KILL HIM N HAVE UR WAY WITH HIM LOLOLOL

Fixed.

 

Anyway, the question is not what you should do, its what you have to do.

 

Which is obviously kill the guy and f*ck his corpse.

 

Or y'know, tell the girl to grow up, she should be old enough to end a relationship without having to have some handsome young man whisk her away on a chariot, you handsome young man you.

[ryuclan]

There is even an easy way to throw down the challenge without having to come up with anything clever. Simply ask her for a good location. Meet the two of them there, and explain your intentions towards L to him. The rest will take care of itself. Of course, you are running the risk of it escalating into physical right away, without any intermediate steps, but it is still a win for you. This is automatic defeat for him in intellectual and moral level. All that's left is the physical challenge, and as long as you don't chicken out, him winning it won't turn the tide. And as said above, if you manage to beat him at that as well, it's a done deal.

I don't know this girl really doesn't seem like the type to run off with this dude if he gets his ass kicked by the asshole. The fact that she wants you to break it for her is an obvious sign that she wants you to win her when in all actuallity she could break it off herself and save you an asswhooping.

[860]

what the f*ck is wrong with people!?

if you´re interested in someone else than the person

you´re dating, END THE RELATIONSHIP!

[Black-hawk]

Erm, if she told her BF it's over, it means over. It doesn't matter if he doesn't accept it, over means that's it. The f*cking end. If he still keeps calling her, thinking that she is his GF then she should outright tell him that it's over and never speak to him. Where's the problem? Or are you guys all in your teens?

 

[ryuclan]

Erm, if she told her BF it's over, it means over. It doesn't matter if he doesn't accept it, over means that's it. The f*cking end. If he still keeps calling her, thinking that she is his GF then she should outright tell him that it's over and never speak to him. Where's the problem? Or are you guys all in your teens?

First of all thats the reason I brought it up. I don't see how breaking up with him could "not go too well." Second I'm sure this girl wants him to come save her which is selfish and stupid.

[copperwire93]

Just flash her this sig and she'll be yours:

 

Did you try makeshyft's solution? hehehe

[TheGuyFromThere]

Many thanks for all the replies guys.

I didn't know that TP had a gallery of hunky pics of me in my old sigs... Believe it or not chaps, despite my muscle bound body which has now been finely tuned with only the best selection of beers and sub sandwiches, her current boyfriend is much bigger than me.

Can't do the whole waltz up and kick his ass, which tho has worked in the past in this case would simply be inviting myself into a hospital ward...

 

I'm 19 (20 in march) and she's 18 (19 in oct.)

 

We've both had our fair share of relationships so it's not like we're inexperienced so the whole "just teens" thing doesn't really apply here. Also, we're in the latter half of teenage life.

 

 

What the f*ck do you want a relationship with this girl for?  Just fool around behind the douchebag's back, and if he finds out, Hail Mary, you've just solved her f*ckin' problem.

 

That's actually the best reply so far. NB I want a relationship because she's awesome

 

My other idea was to get her out, take her out for lunch or w/e and in a phrase, wine, dine and 69.. perhaps not as crude as that lol as I'm not an asshole.

 

But yea otter, a great idea.

 

Thanks for the other replies.

[Otter]

Glad to help. What does NB mean? Seems like it's popping up everywhere these days, and I'm too lazy to look it up.

[Effy in Chains]

 

Glad to help.  What does NB mean?  Seems like it's popping up everywhere these days, and I'm too lazy to look it up.

Nota bene is a Latin phrase meaning "note well," coming from notāre—to note. It is in the singular imperative mood, instructing one individual to note well the matter at hand. (The pluralis form is notate bene.) In present-day English, it is used to draw the attention of the reader to a certain (side) aspect or detail of the subject on hand, translating it as "pay attention" or "take notice". It is often written in the abbreviated form: N.B.

[K^2]

inviting myself into a hospital ward...

Over the years I have formed an opinion that people who let this kind of thing stop them tend to live very boring lives. Longer lives, sometimes, but that makes boredom just that much worse.

 

Odds are, he doesn't want to put you into hospital any more than you want to be there. You could sue him for the bill, after all. Would he try to rough you up? Probably. Would he do anything that wouldn't heal in a week? Unlikely. There's a risk, but if you don't like risks, then maybe you shouldn't be trying to date that girl. You'd be running a risk of confrontation either way, and it sounds like the whole thing with her would be a risk. You should find a nice quiet girl who'd love you and not have any previous relationships that can present a threat to you. That'd be nice and safe. Taking someone else's girl is always risk, so if you are afraid of ending up in the hospital, you really shouldn't bother.

[QwertyAAA]

Glad to help.  What does NB mean?  Seems like it's popping up everywhere these days, and I'm too lazy to look it up.

Nota bene is a Latin phrase meaning "note well," coming from notāre—to note. It is in the singular imperative mood, instructing one individual to note well the matter at hand. (The pluralis form is notate bene.) In present-day English, it is used to draw the attention of the reader to a certain (side) aspect or detail of the subject on hand, translating it as "pay attention" or "take notice". It is often written in the abbreviated form: N.B.

... Woah. Latin on the Internet.

/neo

 

OP, follow Otter's advice.

[TheGuyFromThere]

inviting myself into a hospital ward...

Over the years I have formed an opinion that people who let this kind of thing stop them tend to live very boring lives. Longer lives, sometimes, but that makes boredom just that much worse.

 

Odds are, he doesn't want to put you into hospital any more than you want to be there. You could sue him for the bill, after all. Would he try to rough you up? Probably. Would he do anything that wouldn't heal in a week? Unlikely. There's a risk, but if you don't like risks, then maybe you shouldn't be trying to date that girl. You'd be running a risk of confrontation either way, and it sounds like the whole thing with her would be a risk. You should find a nice quiet girl who'd love you and not have any previous relationships that can present a threat to you. That'd be nice and safe. Taking someone else's girl is always risk, so if you are afraid of ending up in the hospital, you really shouldn't bother.

You tell me I lead a boring life and proceed to tell me to not chase taken girls?!

 

Away and f..

 

But yea texting her and sh*t tonight... not going into details but its looking good anyways...

 

Otter, aside the explanation from Stephen hawking above, NB is a less common version of PS.

[Digïtál £vîl]

...her current boyfriend is much bigger than me.

Can't do the whole waltz up and kick his ass, which tho has worked in the past in this case would simply be inviting myself into a hospital ward...

 

 

 

What the f*ck do you want a relationship with this girl for?  Just fool around behind the douchebag's back, and if he finds out, Hail Mary, you've just solved her f*ckin' problem.

 

That's actually the best reply so far. NB I want a relationship because she's awesome

Haha. So contradictory there, man. What do you think the guy is going to do once he finds out you were f*cking his girl behind his back?

 

And you said that beating up a guy has worked in the past to get the girl? lol. What kind of pussy would give up dating a girl just because a guy beat him up? On that note, what kind of girl would actually date a guy who goes up and beats up her boyfriend?

 

Man. If only we all still lived in the stone age and hitting a guy over the head with a club actually gave you rights to his cave-woman. Things would be much different in the world.

[K^2]

You tell me I lead a boring life and proceed to tell me to not chase taken girls?!

I tell you to not chase taken girls if you want to avoid risks, and avoiding risks will lead to boring life.

 

But you know, if you don't want to listen, I'm not going to try and make you. Do what you will.

[OysterBarron]

this is what happened to me.

 

fed up with G. met L 1 night. split up with G got with L while L was Still with BF Cheated on him L ended it after 3 months not worth it son move on to the next.

[Don Garcia aka NjNakedSnake]

fed up with G. met L 1 night. split up with G got with L while L was Still with BF Cheated on him L ended it after 3 months

= 7 ?

 

I f*cking hate algebra.

[Blizzard14]

So, yeah, Otter's idea might be the best one.

But, f*ck me (No you pervs, not Butt f*ck me), do what suits you! If you think you can just get away with it and date her even though that other guy is "Still her BF", go for it. If you think you can get some mates of yours and intimidate him without a fight, go for it!

Just remember, Follow your Heart. If you hear a *Beat Beat Beat*, you know what to do! (Im guessing most of you didnt get that joke)

Edited February 19, 2009 by Blizzard14

[WidowMaker]

Does the internet ever have useful advice when it comes to relationships?

 

If the internet knew about relationships, it would be out getting laid right now.

[anuj]

You know Dom, we might not see eye-to-eye on some things, but one thing I know is how to break up unhappy relationships.

 

My current fiancee was in an extremely unhappy relationship before she met me. I "rescued her" from her relationship. The thing we all realize is that it's never as easy as it seems.

 

Now, we'll start with an extremely simple equation.

 

(L+BF)*serious problem = happy dom

 

That serious problem is that L does not want to be with BF. She doesn't need a reason more than that. Just because you've been with someone for a certain period of time doesn't mean that you're committed to them forever. It takes both people with a serious commitment to each other to reach that point. Otherwise, you're just dating.

 

The thing is that if you get overly involved and get in between them then it might end badly. I've tried to be the savior before, but the history between the couple was to the point that the girl was unable to properly tell her current bf that she wanted out.

 

Just be careful mate. If you can relay some more personal details over PM, then I'll tell you what I think you should do. All I can feel comfortable telling you in the topic itself with the information I got is that if you get too involved then the girl might be afraid to confront her current bf directly out of fear of reprisal.

 

also remember that one day there is going to be a good chance that you're going to be the boyfriend that she's complaining about to some guy.