Outlaw Biker Viking 2,151 Posted November 12, 2018 A Swedish guy walks into a bar wearing swim trunks and a swim shirt. Everyone stares at him then he says “What? I was told they have pool”. What do you call a Norwegian pilot? A Scandinaviator. What do you call a Danish bird? Scandin-avian. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mister Pink 9,578 Posted November 12, 2018 16 hours ago, ThatKyloRenGuy said: A Swedish guy walks into a bar wearing swim trunks and a swim shirt. Everyone stares at him then he says “What? I was told they have pool”. What do you call a Norwegian pilot? A Scandinaviator. What do you call a Danish bird? Scandin-avian. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Short Stay 231 Posted November 13, 2018 "It's ok, it's not loaded." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
12oClockWheelieCrew 10 Posted November 17, 2018 Why did the joke cross the road? To get to the end of the joke. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Outlaw Biker Viking 2,151 Posted December 2, 2018 Yo mama so ugly that she’s the reason why the chicken crossed the road. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
YanUK 53 Posted December 2, 2018 A moth, complaining of tooth ache, went to the optician. The optician said "what's the problem", the moth replied "I have toothache". Confused, the optician said you need a dentist not an optician. The moth replied "I tried the dentist first but your light was on"! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Evil empire 2,082 Posted December 13, 2018 On 6/19/2018 at 4:34 PM, Short Stay said: Speak English gottdammit! You disappoint me. 2 Belgians rent a small boat to go fishing. While fishing one says to the other: -This place is excellent to catch fishes, let's put a X in the bottom of the bark to mark the place! -Are you nuts?! I'm not even sure we'll have the same small boat next time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
spectre07 3,406 Posted January 6 Waiter: I bring some shrimp to the devil? Wife: If you're going to want shrimp! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Outlaw Biker Viking 2,151 Posted March 12 What are Batman and Robin called when they eat too much? Fatman and Throbbing. Board games are called board games because they make you bored. What’s white and yellow and red all over? Some Dutchman or Scandinavian guy who annoyed the wrong southern or Eastern European chick. How many rude people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Screw you! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheDudeAbides 2 Posted July 13 Why did Tim throw the clock out the window? It reminded him of Richard Clock, the man convicted of knife raping his wife. Y'all have a good day. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Roxie 303 Posted July 21 What do you call a white plane driver? Spoiler - a pilot you racist! What do you call a sleepy guy who cuts trees? A slumberjack Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarltonDanks69 292 Posted July 22 On 7/13/2019 at 4:20 AM, TheDudeAbides said: Why did Tim throw the clock out the window? It reminded him of Richard Clock, the man convicted of knife raping his wife. Y'all have a good day. That’s a Norm MacDonald joke if I ever saw one lmao Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Billy Russo 7,085 Posted July 30 (edited) My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much, what a stupid thing to Fallout 4. Edited July 30 by Billy Russo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Big Molio 8,747 Posted July 30 On 3/12/2019 at 12:09 AM, ThatKyloRenGuy said: Board games are called board games because they make you bored. I bet you have them rolling in the aisles with that one 😂 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mister Pink 9,578 Posted July 31 What do you call a deaf gynecologist? A lip reader. Did you hear about the blind prostitute? Well, you got to hand it to her. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jpm1 1,884 Posted September 24 (edited) 3 people are on a sinking boat. no matter what they do they can't save the boat. so the 3 pals, actually 2 men ,and one woman decide to call for the coastguards. the coastguards arrive, and send soon a ladder to them. the 3 pals jump onto the ladder immediatly, but the helo is too heavy. so the crew tell it to the people hanging down there. but no one wants to jump into the sea, as it's very cold, and full of nasty sharks, and in the middle of nowhere. the crew says it again to the 3 guys. some of you have to jump into the water, or we'll all crash very soon. after another long moment, the 3 people are still hanging onto the ladder. no one wants to die obviously. then the woman says 'ok. men are more useful to society. i'll do it, i'll sacrifice myself'. as soon as the men hear this, they start applauding Edited September 24 by jpm1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Billy Russo 7,085 Posted September 27 Everyone told Sam not to sing. But Samsung anyway. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Evil empire 2,082 Posted September 28 2 Belgians are on a bridge and can't find an agreement whether the thing underneath them is a lake or a river. One of them becomes sick of the argument and dives. When he comes back he's bleeding, full of scratches and bruises ; to make it short the fact he's still alive is a miracle. The other Belgian is surprised to see his friend in a so bad shape: -Fieu! What happened to you? You were attacked by sharks and piranhas? Anyway did you find if it's a river or a lake? -None of it, it's the highway. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Billy Russo 7,085 Posted September 29 I was sitting drinking coffee in my slippers this morning, when I thought to myself... I really need to wash some mugs. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Evil empire 2,082 Posted October 24 A Belgian and a French are rolling in a car when they see a guy in a row boat in the full middle of a wheat field with 2 oars in his hands visibly trying to move the boat and speaking loudly with a strong belgian accent. The Belgian in the car is outraged: -You see it's because of this kind of dumbass fool you Frenchies don't stop laughing at us, I would slap this idiot if only I could. -What prevents you from doing it? -I can't swim. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Billy Russo 7,085 Posted October 24 eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 93,934 matches. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Evil empire 2,082 Posted October 24 (edited) A Belgian has been using the soda vending machine during maybe 10 minutes, always inserting a coin and taking a new can and the Frenchies behind him are seriously sick and tired of waiting so one of them asks the Belgian: -How fuc*ing long do you plan to keep doing it? They're are people waiting behind you to use the machine! -Fieu! I don't know, as long as I win I keep playing. Edited Tuesday at 04:07 PM by Evil empire Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Billy Russo 7,085 Posted Monday at 10:55 PM I keep telling actors to ‘break a leg’. I do it because they’re part of a cast. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Short Stay 231 Posted 16 hours ago Long before he became Der Fuhrer Adolf Hitler spent several years as a down and out on the streets and in the dosshouses and cheap lodgings of Vienna. One cold winter's day he was ejected from one of these lodgings by the landlady for non-payment of rent. Hurt and humiliated, the would-be artist turned and shook his fist, swearing his revenge on his tormentor. The landlady, a formidable woman, snorted a laugh and, with the other tenants behind her, who had gathered to see the strange and unpopular tenant go, asked "Did you hear that? He says that one day he will return and do me a mischief. Is that so Herr Hitler, you and who's army?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
