San Andreas II

[Tommi_Vercetti]

San Andreas May 1993.

After Carl Johnson (more famous as CJ) and his neigbourhood tooked over the whole citys gang territories he moved to Vice City for helping a friend and artist called Madd Dogg (a famous rapper from Vinewood).

Carl's brother Sean (or SWEET) moved up to San Fierro for a short time, he interfered the Da Nang Boys business for a while (because he was very curious of their business own business), they had a boss who Carl killed for a time ago. Sean was near the dead when their new boss Ran Fa Li figured out who this Guy Is (SWEET).

Woozie who lives right now in Las Venturas knows noting about this and just relax in his casino, softly.

Big Smoke is DEAD, Ryder is DEAD and including Brian. Everything is ggod now in the hood, Sean lives there now - he just came from yell, again.

CJ and Madd Dogg are on the plane back to Los Santos, they're think everything is messed up, but Not!

The Ballas gang is gone, SILENCE in the hood.

 

The clock is 17.30 in LS - Carl and Madd Dogg leaves the airprot (Los Santos International) with a cab to Ganton.

After some minutes they have reach the foggy ghettos. They getting out of the vechicle and smokes grass - The Truth had a little house in Little Havanna where he lived for a couple of months, so he gave them the sh*t. CJ says everytime he don't touch that kind of stuff BUT this time he took it! Hehehe, Madd Dogg were high too, before the take off.

Carl knocked on his broes door - Sean opened and said, Hello Carl, glad you're back, we ain't no gangbangers no more ....you loos high!?

CJ: Yeah, of course i am, fool.

 

Whatever.

 

sh*thead, let's get outta here (said Madd Dogg) to Sean and Carl.

All the three boys got into the car and drove to a place, Mr. Dogg showed CJ the way to the meet! Sean¨just asked the just where they were heading,

Dogg said to A Meeting in Las Colinas!

Oh, aight, coooool! what for a meeting?

yeah, you know: Crack,Grass and Hasch - from San Fierro

Oh, men..no it's not true broes. I'm outta here CJ!

 

Sean jumped out of the Car, he was mad as hell (like Doggy Mad).

Some Vagos stood on the end of the street, Doggy & Carl stopped infront of them and asked somethin' .............!!

 

Sean stood on the same place in 4 minutes until he saw a ligth blue car.

In the car sat two Vagos members - they was out for killing SWEET!

One of the members shouted and pulled the trigger and shooted Carl who was stayin' near a another Vago (Madd Dogg was safe in the car).

CJ falled into the ground - like Brian, SWEET saw that clearly.

The Vagos-car was on the way upon the street (to Sean), Sean picked up his 9.mm and pricked both of them while the sat in the car!

Sean runned down to CJ's body who just layed there like the death.

Madd Dogg came out of the car - He was pretty cowardly , hehehe.

Dogg and SWEET looked down on Carl, ring the ambulance Doggie said to SWEET! SWEET just: No, he is dead lets's bury him on Ryder's old backyard.

 

Look after part 2!

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Tony Branston]

Well, among other things, very poor grammar ("Tooked over the whole citys", "he interfered the Da Nang Boys business for a while" etc...)

So much so it actually leaves me uninterested in the story itself.

[Lochie_old]

I'm not really sure if this story is a joke or not. Anyway, for speakers instead of going:

 

jimmy said hey man whats up

 

You go;

 

"Hey man, whats up?" Jimmy said as he threw his hand up offering a high-five.

[Ziggy455]

Very bad Grammar, Spellcheck it using MS word and please use quotation marks ("").

 

Also

 

 

All the three boys got into the car and drove to a place, Mr. Dogg showed CJ the way to the meet! Sean¨just asked the just where they were heading,

Dogg said to A Meeting in Las Colinas!

 

Noticed how you have given an exclamation mark after the meet!-This does not need an exclamation mark it needs a full stop.

 

Also you have quoted only Sean's words with 1 quotation mark. It should be like this:

 

All the three boys got into the car and drove to a place, Mad Dogg showed CJ the way to the meet, Sean: Where we heading?

 

Mad Dogg: A meet in las Colinas.

 

No exclamation marks!

 

The way you have written the dialogue is terrible, I'm not sure if it is a script or a story.

 

 

Either set it out as a script like this:

 

CJ: Sup ryder

Ryder: (Smoking a Dub) Sup foo

Or like a story WITH quotation marks

Or a Story:

 

 

Cj walked in, "Sup Ryder" He said before sitting down.

Ryder looked up from playing dominoes, "Sup CJ" he replied before smoking his dub.

Edited January 23, 2009 by Ziggy455