20 Easy Steps to Starting GTA IV on Your PC

[Cojage]

 

Ok, I've been pretty lenient towards the online activation of PC games lately. If it means I get to play an awesome game, I'll put up with it, and have been urging people to do the same. But this may be because I've only come across good ones so far, like Dead Space, that checks the disc once for 2 seconds then never bothers you again.

 

Leave it up to good old Microsoft and Rockstar to spoil that run.

 

GTA IV for the PC has just taken anti-piracy protection to the next level. To demonstrate, here's a step by step process on how you can start - not play- the game:

 

Step 1: "Tut" loudly as you are forced to agree to be part of the Rockstar Social Club; a Gamespy type program that must be installed before you can install the game.

 

Step 2. Wait for it to validate your DVD. Begin to install the game. It comes on 2 DVDs, taking up 16GB's of space.

 

Step 3: Growl loudly when asked to make a Microsoft Live account. If you haven't done so, be prepared for an arduous task in itself. Begin to cry.

 

Step 4: Wipe tears of frustration from eyes. Unclench jaw. Finish installing the game.

 

Step 5: Start crying again when you realise you must now make a Rockstar Social Club account. Do so while chanting a mantra of harsh words (language choice is optional).

 

Step 6: Go to email account to find validation code. See no email. Break something within arms reach.

 

Step 7: Ask website to resubmit code. Eventually find it in the junk folder. Consider offering Satan your soul to end the pain. Click validation link.

 

Step 8: Choose whether to assign your Xbox, Play Station or PC Microsoft Live account to the Rockstar Social Club. Plot assassination of Microsoft Live creator. Choose account.

 

Step 9: Attempt to sign into account as requested. Check watch: it's dinner time... but didn't you just eat breakfast?

 

Step 10: Finally finish creating Rockstar Social Club account. Sigh with wary relief. Start Social Club program.

 

Step 11: Speak in tongues as the program updates. Make a pot plant spontaneously combust.

 

Step 12: Rejoice as a big splash page with the word "Play!" appears. Click it with tired optimism.

 

Step 13: Bash head against keyboard repeatedly after seeing message stating "Please install the new Windows Live Update". Feel the beginnings of an ulcer forming.

 

Step 14: 22MB later, install update. Rock back in forth in your chair while attempting the "Play" button again.

 

Step 15: It works! Hooray! ....right? WRONG. Activate the game again by entering the code on your manual. Wait for it to su****iously validate you. Feel slightly violated when it finally gives you the OK and starts the game.

 

Step 16: Begin to worry when black screen lasts 5 minutes. Alt + tab a few times. Remove fingernails from fingers due to over ambitious biting.

 

Step 17: Menu words! At last! Proceed to graphics options.

 

Step 18: Consider hiring Chuck Norris to roundhouse kick Rockstar when they tell you “You can not set the graphics higher as your system lacks resources” when you not only have enough resources, the benchmark test runs crystal smooth.

 

Step 19: Sigh, write it off as a bug. Begin game. Hooray! GTA IV at last!

 

Step 20: Game crashes to desktop.

http://hellforge.gameriot.com/blogs/Random...A-IV-on-Your-PC

[Whytey]

haha so true and funny

[WilderDK]

WTH, can u read my minds, lol, 100% correct.

 

 

 

regards

 

 

 

 

<---------

[Alucard155]

Dude, I'm laughing my ass of here!!!

Great post and unfortunately very true for some people..

 

Still... very amusing m8

[gamesguru]

Ha ha; step 20 has got to be the cherry on the top!

 

Good find .

[Malik]

omfg so true!

[jelly]

He forgot the various errors before the game even starts, and looking up the errors on the net.

 

Could've been 25 or 30 steps that one!

[Straubinger82]

Aaaaand if you wanna extand that list to a point only a few people came to...

 

The "get the damn MultiPlayer working" Quest.

That after all, I can assure you, that can give you the rest.

In case of any doubt, the connection to Games for Windows Live doesn´t work probably.

A window pops up and says you need to install a WinXP-"Hotfix" that is directly related to my error..... allthoug my Errornumber is a totally different one.

Really wondering, because that worked at the first time I run GTA4 succesfully after more than 12 RealLifeHours of messing around with my pc-configs.

(SocialClub errored befor... now it´s otherwise., CRAZY!)

 

Oh, not to forget the exorbitant happy people, with their longtime awaited xbox360 controller for windows .

Underlined support for rumbleaktion, and exclusive support by GTA4.... yeah!

My "brand new and ever wanted" controller doesn´t shake, or gives me the opportunity to view while walking.

 

GREAT!

 

Sry, to be honest, I just haven´t known where to load out all my pain right now.

 

All my best wishes to all my suffered and exhausted comrades out there.

(and excuse my not so well english^^)

 

SeeU

Edited December 4, 2008 by Straubinger82

[A.I.R]

 

at this