Chunk Posted November 25, 2008 Share Posted November 25, 2008 (edited) Hi everyone. I've already wrote a short story for SSOTMC and another story that didn't turn out as I had hoped, so hopefully I'll get it right this time. So anyway this story takes place five years before the events of San Andreas and tells the story of a young Sweet. So read on, review and enjoy! *deleted* Edited November 7, 2010 by Chunk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chunk Posted November 26, 2008 Author Share Posted November 26, 2008 (edited) *deleted* Edited November 7, 2010 by Chunk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chunk Posted November 30, 2008 Author Share Posted November 30, 2008 (edited) *deleted* Edited November 7, 2010 by Chunk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Struff Bunstridge Posted December 1, 2008 Share Posted December 1, 2008 Hi everyone! Anyway this is the third chapter but could somebody please tell me if I should continue this because it appears noone is reading it. But if you are reading this thank you and please enjoy! That's not really how we roll, Chunk. I was the 115th viewer of this topic, so people are obviously reading it. If you're just writing this for feedback and praise, rather than because you enjoy it, your writing will suffer as a consequence. Try and think why you haven't received any feedback. The way you set out your dialogue is clumsy and makes it difficult to read; refer to the pinned topic Writers' Discussion HQ for help. Start by allowing a new line for every piece of dialogue; it spaces it out and makes it easier to read. Also, fanfics are ten a penny round here; it has to be something pretty special to stand out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chunk Posted December 1, 2008 Author Share Posted December 1, 2008 (edited) *deleted* Edited November 7, 2010 by Chunk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chunk Posted December 2, 2008 Author Share Posted December 2, 2008 (edited) *deleted* Edited April 30, 2011 by Chunk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chunk Posted December 3, 2008 Author Share Posted December 3, 2008 (edited) *deleted* Edited November 7, 2010 by Chunk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chunk Posted December 3, 2008 Author Share Posted December 3, 2008 (edited) *deleted* Edited November 7, 2010 by Chunk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chunk Posted December 5, 2008 Author Share Posted December 5, 2008 (edited) *deleted* Edited November 7, 2010 by Chunk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chunk Posted December 5, 2008 Author Share Posted December 5, 2008 (edited) *deleted* Edited November 7, 2010 by Chunk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Struff Bunstridge Posted December 6, 2008 Share Posted December 6, 2008 Bit of an abrupt ending, but I actually quite enjoyed that. Fanfics aren't my thing at all, but this wasn't bad; well done for persevering to the end, Chunk. You deserve kudos for that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stefan. Posted December 6, 2008 Share Posted December 6, 2008 I have been following this (sorry for not posting), and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I'm not the biggest fan of fan fics, however this one seemed to be decent and it was relaxing reading it. There were a few errors throughout the whole piece, but the main thing that I would suggest is that it seems a bit bland; no offense, but your vocabulary doesn't seem extremely high. I'd suggest reading a few works by Struff Bunstridge, or reading some classic novels in order to gradually improve your selection of words. Not being fussy, I'm just trying to help. Good luck in the future with your writing, man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chunk Posted December 7, 2008 Author Share Posted December 7, 2008 Thanks! Its good to see some of the respected regulars of the Writer's Discussion reading my work. I'll definitely take your advice on board and hopefully my next story will be alot better. Thanks again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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