Holokaust

[Carbine23]

 

Holokaust

 

“Zatrzymać! Zatrzymać brudny Żyd! Pomoc! Że mały złodziej ukradł mój chleb” (Stop! Stop you dirty Jew! Help! That little thief stole my bread!) the bakery owner shouted in the streets of Warsaw.

 

A little Polish Jewish boy, around 8 years old was running in the Non-Jewish Quarters of Warsaw with a piece of stolen bread. No bakery shop in the deathly ghetto held fresh bread for all those who were starving to death. The boy had no family, no friends and no one to love, but his only goal was for him to survive.

 

After he quickly stole the bread, the boy ran down the heavily crowded street hoping to dodge the people in the crowd. The rain from the heavens stormed down onto the cobblestone street, overflowing the gutters. The sky was gray and dark, like the face of Nazism.

 

“Gestapo! Gestapo! Połowowe, że złodziej! On jest Żydem blond włosach chłopca działa z tym kawałkiem chleba” (Gestapo! Gestapo! Catch that thief! He’s the blonde haired Jew boy running with that piece of bread)” the bakery owner told the Gestapo.

“Töten, dass Juden” (Kill that Jew) the Gestapo screamed as he blew his whistle to the other Gestapo men.

 

About three Gestapo men carrying Kar98K rifles in their hands, chased the boy through the crowd. The mud and filth of the street stuck to the boots of the Gestapo, as they went deeper and deeper into the street.

 

The boy was hoping to reach the Ghetto Wall. At the bottom of the wall, there was a small hole around 25 inches wide, and 15 inches tall. The size was big enough to let the boy sneak in and out of the ghetto. The bakery shop was only 5 blocks away from the ghetto. Around the 3rd block, the young boy escaped the crowd of Polish citizens and ran into the deserted street facing the ghetto wall.

 

“Lassen Sie sich nicht, dass Jude wegkommen” (Don’t let that Jew get away) said the Gestapo as the 3 of them fought through the crowd.

“Verschieben, Verschieben, Verschieben Sie!” (Move, Move, Move!) the Gestapo cried.

 

The boy had lost those Nazi bastards by now. The boy sprinted straight towards the wall, making his shoes abrade against the stones on the road. He got up to the wall and put the bread in the wall hole first. He then bent down on his knees, getting the dirty and slime on his clothes. He adjusted his soldiers and began to crawl slowly into the wall, making it through to the other side. He made it, and he accomplished his journey. He could feel the joy in his heart as he knew he was going to have food in his stomach. Just as he was about to get through, a cold leather glove touched the ankle of his leg. The boy stopped, and the Gestapo behind him pulled him through the hole, back to the other side. The boy screamed and dug his fingernails into the dirt.

 

 

The Gestapo pulled him through and flipped him over laughing. The boy was scared and laid frozen on the ground staring at him. The Gestapo took the glove slowly off his hand. The boy was about to get up and attempt to run away from the Gestapo. The Gestapo took his glove and smacked it across the Jew’s face. He collapsed on the ground, confused, and hurt. The Gestapo slapped the glove several more times across his face, as hard as he could. Red marks began to surface the boy’s cheeks, and he couldn’t feel his face anymore. The Gestapo put his glove back on his hand and stood up, watching the boy suffer.

 

“Weh tut, nicht wahr?” (Hurt’s doesn’t it?) the Gestapo said with an angry looking face.

 

The German raised his boot and kicked the boy in the side of his stomach. He kicked him several times, listening to the crying sounds of pain coming out of the Jewish boy. The last kick of his broke one of the boys ribs. The Jew screamed so loud and tears rushed out of his eyes.

 

“Aufhört zu weinen Sie jew” (Stop crying you Jew) the German screamed at him.

 

The Gestapo raised the Jewish boy and dragged him to the wall, as he was still screaming. He grabbed the boy by his head and slammed it against the Ghetto wall. The head slammed against the wall and forced the boy back onto the street. Part of the skull was damaged and blood leaked out of his eyes, ears, head and nose. Part of his brain was damaged, and everything began to blur, but his crying and screaming stopped. He could barely see, and everything was so confusing. He had no mind anymore, and he couldn’t understand anything. Blood leaked out of his face and streamed down the side of his body, staining his clothes.

 

“Ausführen Sie Jude! Laufen!” (Run you Jew! Run!) the German screamed at him in laughter.

 

The boy didn’t understand what he was saying. All he saw was a confused human yelling at him in a blurred image. The Gestapo raised the boy to his feet and pushed him lightly, making him run.

 

“Ausführen Sie Jude! Laufen!” (Run you Jew! Run!) the German laughed again.

 

The boy began to run as if he was mentally retarded. He didn’t know where he was going. Half his skull was destroyed from the wall impact. A trail of blood from his head chased him down the street as he ran even further to no where. The Gestapo took out his Kar98k rifle and kneeled on the ground. He raised the iron sights to his face, and focused the aim reticule at the boys head. The German let out a chuckle and pulled the trigger. The bullet stormed across the rainy sky, and hit the boy in the back of his head. The bullet went through the boys head, causing blood to spurt and spill out of the back and front. The boy’s eyes rolled into the back of his head and he collapsed on the ground. He felt no pain anymore, but all he felt was death taking him away.

 

The Gestapo walked down the street lighting a cigarette laughing at the top of his lungs.

 

“Eine Festlegung, und viele mehr zu gehen” (One down and many more to go!) the German laughed.

 

He approached the dead boy who was flat on his face. He saw the blood slowly leak and fill the cracks and edges of the cobblestone street. He then took out his lit cigarette and shoved in the back of the boys head. He then gave the dead boy a few more deadly kicks and then walked away. His body decayed and turned into bones in the upcoming months of that haunting year.

 

A book was written many years later, after the war from the bakery shop owner. One chapter read this:

 

“One Day a boy walked into my bakery shop in a poor brand of clothes. He was blonde haired, blue eyed and just like every young Polish or German boy should be. His jacket was brownish and dirty, and his knickerbockers were old and wrinkly. He approached me with 3 zlotys. He asked for a piece of bread and I gladly gave it to him. I told him to pay up and he reached into his pocket to grab his money. When he lifted his hand from his pocket, a necklace fell out. I bended over to see what he dropped, and saw a necklace with a Jewish star on it. I screamed at him to give the bread back, and the boy ran out of the store scared. I screamed to the Gestapo’s that he stole the bread from me, when he bough it. I wish I took that back, and let the boy walk out of the store like a normal customer. God bless him if he’s dead or alive.”

[Eminence]

I can't help but feel this is rehashing what we've seen from Univirginiser? The era, the dialogue style. The story's not bad in itself, but the execution lacks originality - and when you're using a unique twist on Christmas like that, then it doesn't seem to make sense to do it in the same month as someone else.

 

Well, now that I think about it, where's the reference to Christmas? Is this definitely for the competition? It's a decent piece, but in such short proximity to Unvirginiser's, the whole thing with the war-twist and the translated dialogue basically feels ripped off.

[Carbine23]

Ok i understand what your saying now but i didnt even read Unvirginiser's piece so this wasnt meant to be a rip off, and i didn't know that Unvirginiser did something similar. I have been planning for a holocaust story for a while, but i never got around to it and i thought this was my chance. It wasn't really a story, but it was meant to show how brutal the Nazi's could be, even to innocent children.

 

So my apologies

[Hart]

The Gestapo pulled him through and flipped him over laughing. The boy was scared and laid frozen on the ground staring at him. The Gestapo took the glove slowly off his hand. The boy was about to get up and attempt to run away from the Gestapo. The Gestapo took his glove and smacked it across the Jew’s face. He collapsed on the ground, confused, and hurt. The Gestapo slapped the glove several more times across his face, as hard as he could. Red marks began to surface the boy’s cheeks, and he couldn’t feel his face anymore. The Gestapo put his glove back on his hand and stood up, watching the boy suffer.

 

You said The Gestapo a bit too much, which ruined the pacing and rhythm of the paragraph.

[Oxidizer]

That was horrible, but in a good way story-wise. Poor little fella; I actually feel a bit depressed now. So thanks for that.

 

But yeah, good job.

[Struff Bunstridge]

Having the two languages up simultaneously is a little clunky. You can get away with it in a visual medium such as TV or cinema in the form of subtitles, but when written it interrupts the flow of the piece a bit, for me anyway. Stick to one language or the other; English for clarity, or at a pinch, and this is a lot riskier, I've read work elsewhere containing foreign language phrases where no effort is made to translate them. You quite often see this in films; if the scene is set well enough, the viewer/reader can figure out what's being said with minimal difficulty. Those Gestapo might have been nasty bastards, but they weren't too imaginative with their dialogue.

[Rhoda]

A good technique to use when it comes to foreign languages in your piece is to simply write them in italics. Though we aren't told exactly that these are translations, we can immediately put two and two together when we see these are the only parts of dialogue that are formatted different.

[Oxidizer]

And if you do use a foreign language for your characters' dialogue, make sure when writing their actions that you make it so the reader can get a comprehension of what's been said.

 

I suck at explaining things but I hope you get what I mean.

[The Unvirginiser]

 

• Plagiarism WILL NOT be tolerated. Plagiarism - stealing/copying other peoples work or ideas and passing them off as your own - is not acceptable, and measures will be taken against anyone who plagiarises others' work.

 

[Hart]

• Plagiarism WILL NOT be tolerated. Plagiarism - stealing/copying other peoples work or ideas and passing them off as your own - is not acceptable, and measures will be taken against anyone who plagiarises others' work.

 

 

but i didnt even read Unvirginiser's piece so this wasnt meant to be a rip off, and i didn't know that Unvirginiser did something similar. I have been planning for a holocaust story for a while, but i never got around to it and i thought this was my chance.

 

[Mark]

To the point of both involving f*cking bakers? Shenanigans.

 

There's way way way too many similarities between the two stories to suggest otherwise in my mind.