Your greatest escape stories...

[Warplay3r]

Alright now. Some of us may have done something wrong, and escape the long arm of the law. Or maybe to escape something else? We really don't know. That's why I'm here today. I'm here to sit down and listen to people's 'escape' stories. Maybe I'll share one of mine, here and there. But for now, grab a glass of wine and share your escape stories. We all must have one.

[Digïtál £vîl]

One time, my brother was wrongly accused of murder and sentenced to death row. Since I was positive that he was innocent, I tattooed the entire blueprint of the prison onto my body in an intricate design and then staged a failed bank robbery so I would be sent to the same prison as my brother and thus break him out of jail.

 

Over a period of a little over a dozen weeks, I was able to make my plan come through. It took a lot of work, and some midnight romancing of the jail nurse and a few other unsavory characters but I was able to escape from prison with my wrongly accused brother and a half a dozen other convicted felons just for good measure. Gotta add insult to injury to those prison guards, eh? While on the run, I was able to screw over the few people who were willing to help me out on the "inside" so as to be sure they would never trust me again. Which is what every on the run convict should do.

 

I ended up fleeing to some country in buttf*ck central or southern america and was promptly arrested again (not sure why I wasn't more careful, but oh well). Luckily my brother got away this time, but somehow was stupid enough to get my love interest (the hot prison nurse who shouldn't have been working at any prison to start with) and his son kidnapped by some company who seemed to have a large financial interest in open sea fishing or something. They told me that I needed to help their friend escape who seemed unusually interested in bird watching so I unquestionably agreed to do so since it was no skin off my back. Luckily for me, these guards at my new prison were just as incapable and stupid as before so after another 12 weeks or so of planning, I was able to dig a hole out under the prison and get away. Of course, in true douchebag fashion, I was able to screw over some of the very same people that helped me with my first escape. Figuring that if they would be willing to help me a second time after what I had done, they wouldn't be coming around to bitch to me about it later. I guess you could say I had it coming to me when I found out my love interest was decapitated. Thankfully my brother kept that information from me while I was still in prison, otherwise I may have just decided to stick around and rot away and die in there. Oh yeah, and that guy which I helped to escape from prison ended up being shot and killed pretty much the minute he walked into the USA as a "free man".

 

Ironically, after getting out of this prison, I decided it was more important to go after my dead girl's killers so I headed back to LA and promptly was arrested a third time. So did all of my friends who escaped with me as well as the few that I screwed over and left in central america. Not sure how they escaped so easily and quickly after my genius mind spent 12 weeks figuring out how to. But perhaps that had something to do with me spending most of that time trying to figure out how best to secretly f*ck over as many people as possible while I escaped.

 

Either way, now I am in the process of trying to get out of going to prison once again. Luckily, I have a rogue Homeland Security agent who happens to trust me enough to let me help him out in return for my freedom. All I have to do is collect some sort of electronic pizza and I'm free to go. To stay with my douchebag roots, I've still managed to screw a few people over, including getting at least two people killed (if not more), so I'm pretty set on that end. Oh yeah, and my dead gf is suddenly alive, but what can ya say, she was only the reason I went to LA for revenge in the first place, so I might as well stick around now and see how this thing plays out instead of running to the tropics with her and living the rest of my life on some beach in the middle of nowhere.

 

Oh, and I think I'm dying of a brain tumor. But I'm not quite sure how I will be able to escape that problem. I've got to think up a few scenarios so I can pick that one that will f*ck over the most people while I end up on top.

Edited November 11, 2008 by Digïtál £vîl

[tuff_luv_capo]

One time, my brother was wrongly accused of murder and sentenced to death row. Since I was positive that he was innocent, I tattooed the entire blueprint of the prison onto my body in an intricate design and then staged a failed bank robbery so I would be sent to the same prison as my brother and thus break him out of jail.

 

Over a period of a little over a dozen weeks, I was able to make my plan come through. It took a lot of work, and some midnight romancing of the jail nurse and a few other unsavory characters but I was able to escape from prison with my wrongly accused brother and a half a dozen other convicted felons just for good measure. Gotta add insult to injury to those prison guards, eh? While on the run, I was able to screw over the few people who were willing to help me out on the "inside" so as to be sure they would never trust me again. Which is what every on the run convict should do.

 

I ended up fleeing to some country in buttf*ck central or southern america and was promptly arrested again (not sure why I wasn't more careful, but oh well). Luckily my brother got away this time, but somehow was stupid enough to get my love interest (the hot prison nurse who shouldn't have been working at any prison to start with) and his son kidnapped by some company who seemed to have a large financial interest in open sea fishing or something. They told me that I needed to help their friend escape who seemed unusually interested in bird watching so I unquestionably agreed to do so since it was no skin off my back. Luckily for me, these guards at my new prison were just as incapable and stupid as before so after another 12 weeks or so of planning, I was able to dig a hole out under the prison and get away. Of course, in true douchebag fashion, I was able to screw over some of the very same people that helped me with my first escape. Figuring that if they would be willing to help me a second time after what I had done, they wouldn't be coming around to bitch to me about it later. I guess you could say I had it coming to me when I found out my love interest was decapitated. Thankfully my brother kept that information from me while I was still in prison, otherwise I may have just decided to stick around and rot away and die in there. Oh yeah, and that guy which I helped to escape from prison ended up being shot and killed pretty much the minute he walked into the USA as a "free man".

 

Ironically, after getting out of this prison, I decided it was more important to go after my dead girl's killers so I headed back to LA and promptly was arrested a third time. So did all of my friends who escaped with me as well as the few that I screwed over and left in central america. Not sure how they escaped so easily and quickly after my genius mind spent 12 weeks figuring out how to. But perhaps that had something to do with me spending most of that time trying to figure out how best to secretly f*ck over as many people as possible while I escaped.

 

Either way, now I am in the process of trying to get out of going to prison once again. Luckily, I have a rogue Homeland Security agent who happens to trust me enough to let me help him out in return for my freedom. All I have to do is collect some sort of electronic pizza and I'm free to go. To stay with my douchebag roots, I've still managed to screw a few people over, including getting at least two people killed (if not more), so I'm pretty set on that end. Oh yeah, and my dead gf is suddenly alive, but what can ya say, she was only the reason I went to LA for revenge in the first place, so I might as well stick around now and see how this thing plays out instead of running to the tropics with her and living the rest of my life on some beach in the middle of nowhere.

 

Oh, and I think I'm dying of a brain tumor. But I'm not quite sure how I will be able to escape that problem. I've got to think up a few scenarios so I can pick that one that will f*ck over the most people while I end up on top.

Lol, sounds a lot like Lost.

[Rocketkiller]

One time, my brother was wrongly accused of murder and sentenced to death row. Since I was positive that he was innocent, I tattooed the entire blueprint of the prison onto my body in an intricate design and then staged a failed bank robbery so I would be sent to the same prison as my brother and thus break him out of jail.

 

Over a period of a little over a dozen weeks, I was able to make my plan come through. It took a lot of work, and some midnight romancing of the jail nurse and a few other unsavory characters but I was able to escape from prison with my wrongly accused brother and a half a dozen other convicted felons just for good measure. Gotta add insult to injury to those prison guards, eh? While on the run, I was able to screw over the few people who were willing to help me out on the "inside" so as to be sure they would never trust me again. Which is what every on the run convict should do.

 

I ended up fleeing to some country in buttf*ck central or southern america and was promptly arrested again (not sure why I wasn't more careful, but oh well). Luckily my brother got away this time, but somehow was stupid enough to get my love interest (the hot prison nurse who shouldn't have been working at any prison to start with) and his son kidnapped by some company who seemed to have a large financial interest in open sea fishing or something. They told me that I needed to help their friend escape who seemed unusually interested in bird watching so I unquestionably agreed to do so since it was no skin off my back. Luckily for me, these guards at my new prison were just as incapable and stupid as before so after another 12 weeks or so of planning, I was able to dig a hole out under the prison and get away. Of course, in true douchebag fashion, I was able to screw over some of the very same people that helped me with my first escape. Figuring that if they would be willing to help me a second time after what I had done, they wouldn't be coming around to bitch to me about it later. I guess you could say I had it coming to me when I found out my love interest was decapitated. Thankfully my brother kept that information from me while I was still in prison, otherwise I may have just decided to stick around and rot away and die in there. Oh yeah, and that guy which I helped to escape from prison ended up being shot and killed pretty much the minute he walked into the USA as a "free man".

 

Ironically, after getting out of this prison, I decided it was more important to go after my dead girl's killers so I headed back to LA and promptly was arrested a third time. So did all of my friends who escaped with me as well as the few that I screwed over and left in central america. Not sure how they escaped so easily and quickly after my genius mind spent 12 weeks figuring out how to. But perhaps that had something to do with me spending most of that time trying to figure out how best to secretly f*ck over as many people as possible while I escaped.

 

Either way, now I am in the process of trying to get out of going to prison once again. Luckily, I have a rogue Homeland Security agent who happens to trust me enough to let me help him out in return for my freedom. All I have to do is collect some sort of electronic pizza and I'm free to go. To stay with my douchebag roots, I've still managed to screw a few people over, including getting at least two people killed (if not more), so I'm pretty set on that end. Oh yeah, and my dead gf is suddenly alive, but what can ya say, she was only the reason I went to LA for revenge in the first place, so I might as well stick around now and see how this thing plays out instead of running to the tropics with her and living the rest of my life on some beach in the middle of nowhere.

 

Oh, and I think I'm dying of a brain tumor. But I'm not quite sure how I will be able to escape that problem. I've got to think up a few scenarios so I can pick that one that will f*ck over the most people while I end up on top.

Lol, sounds a lot like Lost.

It's Prison Break buddy.

[makeshyft]

Lol, sounds a lot like Lost.

It's Prison Break buddy.

lol ur really smart

[Saggy]

One time, my brother was wrongly accused of murder and sentenced to death row. Since I was positive that he was innocent, I tattooed the entire blueprint of the prison onto my body in an intricate design and then staged a failed bank robbery so I would be sent to the same prison as my brother and thus break him out of jail.

 

Over a period of a little over a dozen weeks, I was able to make my plan come through. It took a lot of work, and some midnight romancing of the jail nurse and a few other unsavory characters but I was able to escape from prison with my wrongly accused brother and a half a dozen other convicted felons just for good measure. Gotta add insult to injury to those prison guards, eh? While on the run, I was able to screw over the few people who were willing to help me out on the "inside" so as to be sure they would never trust me again. Which is what every on the run convict should do.

 

I ended up fleeing to some country in buttf*ck central or southern america and was promptly arrested again (not sure why I wasn't more careful, but oh well). Luckily my brother got away this time, but somehow was stupid enough to get my love interest (the hot prison nurse who shouldn't have been working at any prison to start with) and his son kidnapped by some company who seemed to have a large financial interest in open sea fishing or something. They told me that I needed to help their friend escape who seemed unusually interested in bird watching so I unquestionably agreed to do so since it was no skin off my back. Luckily for me, these guards at my new prison were just as incapable and stupid as before so after another 12 weeks or so of planning, I was able to dig a hole out under the prison and get away. Of course, in true douchebag fashion, I was able to screw over some of the very same people that helped me with my first escape. Figuring that if they would be willing to help me a second time after what I had done, they wouldn't be coming around to bitch to me about it later. I guess you could say I had it coming to me when I found out my love interest was decapitated. Thankfully my brother kept that information from me while I was still in prison, otherwise I may have just decided to stick around and rot away and die in there. Oh yeah, and that guy which I helped to escape from prison ended up being shot and killed pretty much the minute he walked into the USA as a "free man".

 

Ironically, after getting out of this prison, I decided it was more important to go after my dead girl's killers so I headed back to LA and promptly was arrested a third time. So did all of my friends who escaped with me as well as the few that I screwed over and left in central america. Not sure how they escaped so easily and quickly after my genius mind spent 12 weeks figuring out how to. But perhaps that had something to do with me spending most of that time trying to figure out how best to secretly f*ck over as many people as possible while I escaped.

 

Either way, now I am in the process of trying to get out of going to prison once again. Luckily, I have a rogue Homeland Security agent who happens to trust me enough to let me help him out in return for my freedom. All I have to do is collect some sort of electronic pizza and I'm free to go. To stay with my douchebag roots, I've still managed to screw a few people over, including getting at least two people killed (if not more), so I'm pretty set on that end. Oh yeah, and my dead gf is suddenly alive, but what can ya say, she was only the reason I went to LA for revenge in the first place, so I might as well stick around now and see how this thing plays out instead of running to the tropics with her and living the rest of my life on some beach in the middle of nowhere.

 

Oh, and I think I'm dying of a brain tumor. But I'm not quite sure how I will be able to escape that problem. I've got to think up a few scenarios so I can pick that one that will f*ck over the most people while I end up on top.

Lol, sounds a lot like Lost.

It's Prison Break buddy.

Sounds like a joke...

 

I don't know if you'd call it an escape, but I've ran from the cops on two occasions, generally not even realizing I needed to stop.

 

Once I got in a fight, and ran away from the scene. Hid from the cops behind a dumpster, but they weren't looking very hard.

 

Second time, I was going about 120 miles per hour on a 45 MPH road. I blew past a cop, and by the time he turned his sirens on and pulled out, I was 1/4 away and never saw his ass again.

[Vanilla Shake]

Second time, I was going about 120 miles per hour on a 45 MPH road. I blew past a cop, and by the time he turned his sirens on and pulled out, I was 1/4 away and never saw his ass again.

f*cking class.

[Juice By Kayla Marie]

Does being completely intoxicated and running from a busted party count...?

[Digïtál £vîl]

One time, my brother was wrongly accused of murder and sentenced to death row. Since I was positive that he was innocent, I tattooed the entire blueprint of the prison onto my body in an intricate design and then staged a failed bank robbery so I would be sent to the same prison as my brother and thus break him out of jail.

 

Over a period of a little over a dozen weeks, I was able to make my plan come through. It took a lot of work, and some midnight romancing of the jail nurse and a few other unsavory characters but I was able to escape from prison with my wrongly accused brother and a half a dozen other convicted felons just for good measure. Gotta add insult to injury to those prison guards, eh? While on the run, I was able to screw over the few people who were willing to help me out on the "inside" so as to be sure they would never trust me again. Which is what every on the run convict should do.

 

I ended up fleeing to some country in buttf*ck central or southern america and was promptly arrested again (not sure why I wasn't more careful, but oh well). Luckily my brother got away this time, but somehow was stupid enough to get my love interest (the hot prison nurse who shouldn't have been working at any prison to start with) and his son kidnapped by some company who seemed to have a large financial interest in open sea fishing or something. They told me that I needed to help their friend escape who seemed unusually interested in bird watching so I unquestionably agreed to do so since it was no skin off my back. Luckily for me, these guards at my new prison were just as incapable and stupid as before so after another 12 weeks or so of planning, I was able to dig a hole out under the prison and get away. Of course, in true douchebag fashion, I was able to screw over some of the very same people that helped me with my first escape. Figuring that if they would be willing to help me a second time after what I had done, they wouldn't be coming around to bitch to me about it later. I guess you could say I had it coming to me when I found out my love interest was decapitated. Thankfully my brother kept that information from me while I was still in prison, otherwise I may have just decided to stick around and rot away and die in there. Oh yeah, and that guy which I helped to escape from prison ended up being shot and killed pretty much the minute he walked into the USA as a "free man".

 

Ironically, after getting out of this prison, I decided it was more important to go after my dead girl's killers so I headed back to LA and promptly was arrested a third time. So did all of my friends who escaped with me as well as the few that I screwed over and left in central america. Not sure how they escaped so easily and quickly after my genius mind spent 12 weeks figuring out how to. But perhaps that had something to do with me spending most of that time trying to figure out how best to secretly f*ck over as many people as possible while I escaped.

 

Either way, now I am in the process of trying to get out of going to prison once again. Luckily, I have a rogue Homeland Security agent who happens to trust me enough to let me help him out in return for my freedom. All I have to do is collect some sort of electronic pizza and I'm free to go. To stay with my douchebag roots, I've still managed to screw a few people over, including getting at least two people killed (if not more), so I'm pretty set on that end. Oh yeah, and my dead gf is suddenly alive, but what can ya say, she was only the reason I went to LA for revenge in the first place, so I might as well stick around now and see how this thing plays out instead of running to the tropics with her and living the rest of my life on some beach in the middle of nowhere.

 

Oh, and I think I'm dying of a brain tumor. But I'm not quite sure how I will be able to escape that problem. I've got to think up a few scenarios so I can pick that one that will f*ck over the most people while I end up on top.

Lol, sounds a lot like Lost.

Man, that is a completely different story all together. Some day I will tell you about the time I was on a plane that crashed in the middle of nowhere and me and about 40 other survivors spent a bunch of time on a nearby island. Surprisingly, it isn't as boring as it may initially sound. Plus, there are polar bears in my story as well. f*cking polar bears, man! Can't beat that.

 

 

@Rocketkiller: I have no clue what you are talking about.

[kevin2006rhs]

One time, my brother was wrongly accused of murder and sentenced to death row. Since I was positive that he was innocent, I tattooed the entire blueprint of the prison onto my body in an intricate design and then staged a failed bank robbery so I would be sent to the same prison as my brother and thus break him out of jail.

 

Over a period of a little over a dozen weeks, I was able to make my plan come through. It took a lot of work, and some midnight romancing of the jail nurse and a few other unsavory characters but I was able to escape from prison with my wrongly accused brother and a half a dozen other convicted felons just for good measure. Gotta add insult to injury to those prison guards, eh? While on the run, I was able to screw over the few people who were willing to help me out on the "inside" so as to be sure they would never trust me again. Which is what every on the run convict should do.

 

I ended up fleeing to some country in buttf*ck central or southern america and was promptly arrested again (not sure why I wasn't more careful, but oh well). Luckily my brother got away this time, but somehow was stupid enough to get my love interest (the hot prison nurse who shouldn't have been working at any prison to start with) and his son kidnapped by some company who seemed to have a large financial interest in open sea fishing or something. They told me that I needed to help their friend escape who seemed unusually interested in bird watching so I unquestionably agreed to do so since it was no skin off my back. Luckily for me, these guards at my new prison were just as incapable and stupid as before so after another 12 weeks or so of planning, I was able to dig a hole out under the prison and get away. Of course, in true douchebag fashion, I was able to screw over some of the very same people that helped me with my first escape. Figuring that if they would be willing to help me a second time after what I had done, they wouldn't be coming around to bitch to me about it later. I guess you could say I had it coming to me when I found out my love interest was decapitated. Thankfully my brother kept that information from me while I was still in prison, otherwise I may have just decided to stick around and rot away and die in there. Oh yeah, and that guy which I helped to escape from prison ended up being shot and killed pretty much the minute he walked into the USA as a "free man".

 

Ironically, after getting out of this prison, I decided it was more important to go after my dead girl's killers so I headed back to LA and promptly was arrested a third time. So did all of my friends who escaped with me as well as the few that I screwed over and left in central america. Not sure how they escaped so easily and quickly after my genius mind spent 12 weeks figuring out how to. But perhaps that had something to do with me spending most of that time trying to figure out how best to secretly f*ck over as many people as possible while I escaped.

 

Either way, now I am in the process of trying to get out of going to prison once again. Luckily, I have a rogue Homeland Security agent who happens to trust me enough to let me help him out in return for my freedom. All I have to do is collect some sort of electronic pizza and I'm free to go. To stay with my douchebag roots, I've still managed to screw a few people over, including getting at least two people killed (if not more), so I'm pretty set on that end. Oh yeah, and my dead gf is suddenly alive, but what can ya say, she was only the reason I went to LA for revenge in the first place, so I might as well stick around now and see how this thing plays out instead of running to the tropics with her and living the rest of my life on some beach in the middle of nowhere.

 

Oh, and I think I'm dying of a brain tumor. But I'm not quite sure how I will be able to escape that problem. I've got to think up a few scenarios so I can pick that one that will f*ck over the most people while I end up on top.

Lol, sounds a lot like Lost.

Man, that is a completely different story all together. Some day I will tell you about the time I was on a plane that crashed in the middle of nowhere and me and about 40 other survivors spent a bunch of time on a nearby island. Surprisingly, it isn't as boring as it may initially sound. Plus, there are polar bears in my story as well. f*cking polar bears, man! Can't beat that.

Oh man...I love The Office

[Digïtál £vîl]

One time, my brother was wrongly accused of murder and sentenced to death row. Since I was positive that he was innocent, I tattooed the entire blueprint of the prison onto my body in an intricate design and then staged a failed bank robbery so I would be sent to the same prison as my brother and thus break him out of jail.

 

Over a period of a little over a dozen weeks, I was able to make my plan come through. It took a lot of work, and some midnight romancing of the jail nurse and a few other unsavory characters but I was able to escape from prison with my wrongly accused brother and a half a dozen other convicted felons just for good measure. Gotta add insult to injury to those prison guards, eh? While on the run, I was able to screw over the few people who were willing to help me out on the "inside" so as to be sure they would never trust me again. Which is what every on the run convict should do.

 

I ended up fleeing to some country in buttf*ck central or southern america and was promptly arrested again (not sure why I wasn't more careful, but oh well). Luckily my brother got away this time, but somehow was stupid enough to get my love interest (the hot prison nurse who shouldn't have been working at any prison to start with) and his son kidnapped by some company who seemed to have a large financial interest in open sea fishing or something. They told me that I needed to help their friend escape who seemed unusually interested in bird watching so I unquestionably agreed to do so since it was no skin off my back. Luckily for me, these guards at my new prison were just as incapable and stupid as before so after another 12 weeks or so of planning, I was able to dig a hole out under the prison and get away. Of course, in true douchebag fashion, I was able to screw over some of the very same people that helped me with my first escape. Figuring that if they would be willing to help me a second time after what I had done, they wouldn't be coming around to bitch to me about it later. I guess you could say I had it coming to me when I found out my love interest was decapitated. Thankfully my brother kept that information from me while I was still in prison, otherwise I may have just decided to stick around and rot away and die in there. Oh yeah, and that guy which I helped to escape from prison ended up being shot and killed pretty much the minute he walked into the USA as a "free man".

 

Ironically, after getting out of this prison, I decided it was more important to go after my dead girl's killers so I headed back to LA and promptly was arrested a third time. So did all of my friends who escaped with me as well as the few that I screwed over and left in central america. Not sure how they escaped so easily and quickly after my genius mind spent 12 weeks figuring out how to. But perhaps that had something to do with me spending most of that time trying to figure out how best to secretly f*ck over as many people as possible while I escaped.

 

Either way, now I am in the process of trying to get out of going to prison once again. Luckily, I have a rogue Homeland Security agent who happens to trust me enough to let me help him out in return for my freedom. All I have to do is collect some sort of electronic pizza and I'm free to go. To stay with my douchebag roots, I've still managed to screw a few people over, including getting at least two people killed (if not more), so I'm pretty set on that end. Oh yeah, and my dead gf is suddenly alive, but what can ya say, she was only the reason I went to LA for revenge in the first place, so I might as well stick around now and see how this thing plays out instead of running to the tropics with her and living the rest of my life on some beach in the middle of nowhere.

 

Oh, and I think I'm dying of a brain tumor. But I'm not quite sure how I will be able to escape that problem. I've got to think up a few scenarios so I can pick that one that will f*ck over the most people while I end up on top.

Lol, sounds a lot like Lost.

Man, that is a completely different story all together. Some day I will tell you about the time I was on a plane that crashed in the middle of nowhere and me and about 40 other survivors spent a bunch of time on a nearby island. Surprisingly, it isn't as boring as it may initially sound. Plus, there are polar bears in my story as well. f*cking polar bears, man! Can't beat that.

Oh man...I love The Office

Did I ever tell you that I own a beet farm?

[Mav.]

One time, my brother was wrongly accused of murder and sentenced to death row. Since I was positive that he was innocent, I tattooed the entire blueprint of the prison onto my body in an intricate design and then staged a failed bank robbery so I would be sent to the same prison as my brother and thus break him out of jail.

 

Over a period of a little over a dozen weeks, I was able to make my plan come through. It took a lot of work, and some midnight romancing of the jail nurse and a few other unsavory characters but I was able to escape from prison with my wrongly accused brother and a half a dozen other convicted felons just for good measure. Gotta add insult to injury to those prison guards, eh? While on the run, I was able to screw over the few people who were willing to help me out on the "inside" so as to be sure they would never trust me again. Which is what every on the run convict should do.

 

I ended up fleeing to some country in buttf*ck central or southern america and was promptly arrested again (not sure why I wasn't more careful, but oh well). Luckily my brother got away this time, but somehow was stupid enough to get my love interest (the hot prison nurse who shouldn't have been working at any prison to start with) and his son kidnapped by some company who seemed to have a large financial interest in open sea fishing or something. They told me that I needed to help their friend escape who seemed unusually interested in bird watching so I unquestionably agreed to do so since it was no skin off my back. Luckily for me, these guards at my new prison were just as incapable and stupid as before so after another 12 weeks or so of planning, I was able to dig a hole out under the prison and get away. Of course, in true douchebag fashion, I was able to screw over some of the very same people that helped me with my first escape. Figuring that if they would be willing to help me a second time after what I had done, they wouldn't be coming around to bitch to me about it later. I guess you could say I had it coming to me when I found out my love interest was decapitated. Thankfully my brother kept that information from me while I was still in prison, otherwise I may have just decided to stick around and rot away and die in there. Oh yeah, and that guy which I helped to escape from prison ended up being shot and killed pretty much the minute he walked into the USA as a "free man".

 

Ironically, after getting out of this prison, I decided it was more important to go after my dead girl's killers so I headed back to LA and promptly was arrested a third time. So did all of my friends who escaped with me as well as the few that I screwed over and left in central america. Not sure how they escaped so easily and quickly after my genius mind spent 12 weeks figuring out how to. But perhaps that had something to do with me spending most of that time trying to figure out how best to secretly f*ck over as many people as possible while I escaped.

 

Either way, now I am in the process of trying to get out of going to prison once again. Luckily, I have a rogue Homeland Security agent who happens to trust me enough to let me help him out in return for my freedom. All I have to do is collect some sort of electronic pizza and I'm free to go. To stay with my douchebag roots, I've still managed to screw a few people over, including getting at least two people killed (if not more), so I'm pretty set on that end. Oh yeah, and my dead gf is suddenly alive, but what can ya say, she was only the reason I went to LA for revenge in the first place, so I might as well stick around now and see how this thing plays out instead of running to the tropics with her and living the rest of my life on some beach in the middle of nowhere.

 

Oh, and I think I'm dying of a brain tumor. But I'm not quite sure how I will be able to escape that problem. I've got to think up a few scenarios so I can pick that one that will f*ck over the most people while I end up on top.

Lol, sounds a lot like Lost.

Man, that is a completely different story all together. Some day I will tell you about the time I was on a plane that crashed in the middle of nowhere and me and about 40 other survivors spent a bunch of time on a nearby island. Surprisingly, it isn't as boring as it may initially sound. Plus, there are polar bears in my story as well. f*cking polar bears, man! Can't beat that.

Oh man...I love The Office

I wish the English made a series.

[kevin2006rhs]

One time, my brother was wrongly accused of murder and sentenced to death row. Since I was positive that he was innocent, I tattooed the entire blueprint of the prison onto my body in an intricate design and then staged a failed bank robbery so I would be sent to the same prison as my brother and thus break him out of jail.

 

Over a period of a little over a dozen weeks, I was able to make my plan come through. It took a lot of work, and some midnight romancing of the jail nurse and a few other unsavory characters but I was able to escape from prison with my wrongly accused brother and a half a dozen other convicted felons just for good measure. Gotta add insult to injury to those prison guards, eh? While on the run, I was able to screw over the few people who were willing to help me out on the "inside" so as to be sure they would never trust me again. Which is what every on the run convict should do.

 

I ended up fleeing to some country in buttf*ck central or southern america and was promptly arrested again (not sure why I wasn't more careful, but oh well). Luckily my brother got away this time, but somehow was stupid enough to get my love interest (the hot prison nurse who shouldn't have been working at any prison to start with) and his son kidnapped by some company who seemed to have a large financial interest in open sea fishing or something. They told me that I needed to help their friend escape who seemed unusually interested in bird watching so I unquestionably agreed to do so since it was no skin off my back. Luckily for me, these guards at my new prison were just as incapable and stupid as before so after another 12 weeks or so of planning, I was able to dig a hole out under the prison and get away. Of course, in true douchebag fashion, I was able to screw over some of the very same people that helped me with my first escape. Figuring that if they would be willing to help me a second time after what I had done, they wouldn't be coming around to bitch to me about it later. I guess you could say I had it coming to me when I found out my love interest was decapitated. Thankfully my brother kept that information from me while I was still in prison, otherwise I may have just decided to stick around and rot away and die in there. Oh yeah, and that guy which I helped to escape from prison ended up being shot and killed pretty much the minute he walked into the USA as a "free man".

 

Ironically, after getting out of this prison, I decided it was more important to go after my dead girl's killers so I headed back to LA and promptly was arrested a third time. So did all of my friends who escaped with me as well as the few that I screwed over and left in central america. Not sure how they escaped so easily and quickly after my genius mind spent 12 weeks figuring out how to. But perhaps that had something to do with me spending most of that time trying to figure out how best to secretly f*ck over as many people as possible while I escaped.

 

Either way, now I am in the process of trying to get out of going to prison once again. Luckily, I have a rogue Homeland Security agent who happens to trust me enough to let me help him out in return for my freedom. All I have to do is collect some sort of electronic pizza and I'm free to go. To stay with my douchebag roots, I've still managed to screw a few people over, including getting at least two people killed (if not more), so I'm pretty set on that end. Oh yeah, and my dead gf is suddenly alive, but what can ya say, she was only the reason I went to LA for revenge in the first place, so I might as well stick around now and see how this thing plays out instead of running to the tropics with her and living the rest of my life on some beach in the middle of nowhere.

 

Oh, and I think I'm dying of a brain tumor. But I'm not quite sure how I will be able to escape that problem. I've got to think up a few scenarios so I can pick that one that will f*ck over the most people while I end up on top.

Lol, sounds a lot like Lost.

Man, that is a completely different story all together. Some day I will tell you about the time I was on a plane that crashed in the middle of nowhere and me and about 40 other survivors spent a bunch of time on a nearby island. Surprisingly, it isn't as boring as it may initially sound. Plus, there are polar bears in my story as well. f*cking polar bears, man! Can't beat that.

Oh man...I love The Office

Did I ever tell you that I own a beet farm?

Jimmy carter is a peanut farmer. He builds houses.

[Algonquin Assassin]

I escaped from Guantanamo Bay with Harold, and Kumar.

Edited November 11, 2008 by Miamivicecity

[Drag_Drift]

One time, my brother was wrongly accused of murder and sentenced to death row. Since I was positive that he was innocent, I tattooed the entire blueprint of the prison onto my body in an intricate design and then staged a failed bank robbery so I would be sent to the same prison as my brother and thus break him out of jail.

 

Over a period of a little over a dozen weeks, I was able to make my plan come through. It took a lot of work, and some midnight romancing of the jail nurse and a few other unsavory characters but I was able to escape from prison with my wrongly accused brother and a half a dozen other convicted felons just for good measure. Gotta add insult to injury to those prison guards, eh? While on the run, I was able to screw over the few people who were willing to help me out on the "inside" so as to be sure they would never trust me again. Which is what every on the run convict should do.

 

I ended up fleeing to some country in buttf*ck central or southern america and was promptly arrested again (not sure why I wasn't more careful, but oh well). Luckily my brother got away this time, but somehow was stupid enough to get my love interest (the hot prison nurse who shouldn't have been working at any prison to start with) and his son kidnapped by some company who seemed to have a large financial interest in open sea fishing or something. They told me that I needed to help their friend escape who seemed unusually interested in bird watching so I unquestionably agreed to do so since it was no skin off my back. Luckily for me, these guards at my new prison were just as incapable and stupid as before so after another 12 weeks or so of planning, I was able to dig a hole out under the prison and get away. Of course, in true douchebag fashion, I was able to screw over some of the very same people that helped me with my first escape. Figuring that if they would be willing to help me a second time after what I had done, they wouldn't be coming around to bitch to me about it later. I guess you could say I had it coming to me when I found out my love interest was decapitated. Thankfully my brother kept that information from me while I was still in prison, otherwise I may have just decided to stick around and rot away and die in there. Oh yeah, and that guy which I helped to escape from prison ended up being shot and killed pretty much the minute he walked into the USA as a "free man".

 

Ironically, after getting out of this prison, I decided it was more important to go after my dead girl's killers so I headed back to LA and promptly was arrested a third time. So did all of my friends who escaped with me as well as the few that I screwed over and left in central america. Not sure how they escaped so easily and quickly after my genius mind spent 12 weeks figuring out how to. But perhaps that had something to do with me spending most of that time trying to figure out how best to secretly f*ck over as many people as possible while I escaped.

 

Either way, now I am in the process of trying to get out of going to prison once again. Luckily, I have a rogue Homeland Security agent who happens to trust me enough to let me help him out in return for my freedom. All I have to do is collect some sort of electronic pizza and I'm free to go. To stay with my douchebag roots, I've still managed to screw a few people over, including getting at least two people killed (if not more), so I'm pretty set on that end. Oh yeah, and my dead gf is suddenly alive, but what can ya say, she was only the reason I went to LA for revenge in the first place, so I might as well stick around now and see how this thing plays out instead of running to the tropics with her and living the rest of my life on some beach in the middle of nowhere.

 

Oh, and I think I'm dying of a brain tumor. But I'm not quite sure how I will be able to escape that problem. I've got to think up a few scenarios so I can pick that one that will f*ck over the most people while I end up on top.

Lol, sounds a lot like Lost.

Man, that is a completely different story all together. Some day I will tell you about the time I was on a plane that crashed in the middle of nowhere and me and about 40 other survivors spent a bunch of time on a nearby island. Surprisingly, it isn't as boring as it may initially sound. Plus, there are polar bears in my story as well. f*cking polar bears, man! Can't beat that.

I escaped from russia once. I was hired by these virtuous douches calling themselves 'FOX' or something like that, and made me go and kill my teacher who was buttf*cking the country secretly. Then I had to save this old bald man and get to make love in a cave with a female spy ala-James Bond style. While I was there I had to beat these psycho freaks that worked with my teacher. I think their names were 'the bee', 'the cat', 'the old guy', 'the contortionist', 'the fire', 'the dead guy' and 'the electrician'. I kill them all and destroy this big-ass robot that was supposedly made to destroy the earth. I got to kill my teacher by shooting her in the face. Then I got back to my country and had sex with the female spy again. Also, did I mention I got to blow up the place where the mission took place? Plus, I was so bad-ass when I returned, I f*cking gave the CIA director the cold shoulder. Talk about flair, huh?