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Build Up Your Gang

BUYG: Build Up Your Gang

Recommended Posts

Vercetti27

don't worry TV, inactivity isn't rare at BUYG, it happens all the time. Some new members will join, you just have to be more patient confused.gif

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TV1213

Ok ill stay.

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Benjimino234

@TV1213 Who are you to say that the topic should die? Huh? You claim that you were a previous member here but you should of known that inactivity isn't rare at BUYG. Okay? Clam down.

@Everyone else Everyone calm down, I just haven't been up to it lately.

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TV1213

 

@TV1213 Who are you to say that the topic should die? Huh? You claim that you were a previous member here but you should of known that inactivity isn't rare at BUYG. Okay? Clam down.

 

ok,ok. But i'm just suggesting you should get new staff, one that's more acitve.

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Build Up Your Gang

Yamifly: Voodo People: Chapter 4: The uncomprensible arab mystery part 2:

Groves | Johnson House

$30

The title is spelled wrong it should be 'Incomprehensible' and 'Arab' should be capital. In this story there is a bad case of, "I did this, I did that." It's very repetitive and tedious. Some 'I's can be removed and replaced with short punchy sentences and more description.

I felt good, so I got up. It was strange to walk after so much wheelchair. I felt weak standing up so I went back to the wheelchair and decided to get up only when necessary.

I felt good, so feeling confident to stand up. But it felt strange due to the prolonged period in a wheelchair; but the effects of it quickly hit me like a kick to the knees. Feeling weak and sitting back down before I strain myself too much, just getting up only for necessities would be best for my recovery.

As you can see there is more description and a good increased word count with it too.

 

Voodoo People Chapter 5: The uncomprensible Arab mystery part 3.

$26

It's pretty short, and how can you kill Majory? The action scene was too short and details were limited. How does shooting (a missed shot)] make a crate explode? I found it hard to follow.

 

Voodo People: Chapter 6: Warehouse Searching. 5th Story Bonus

$23 + $100

Shorter than the previous stories and even less detail, the action scenes don't flow and you jump from you thing and you skip and start a new action sequence.

 

Voodoo People: Chapter 7: Liberty City:

$19

"As he sprinted to the place." What? Now that's just lazy, then it's followed by, "5 Hours later." If it was such a short dialogue sequence why not just start as the plane was landing or when they're already in Liberty City? Then WHAT?! Niko?! Claude!? I mean like... Why?! CJ and Sweet are already frequent characters in Los Santos and I think this all investigation that leads to liberty City is just an excuse so you could write about Niko and Claude. Argh... Then you talk about kill 50 gangsters within three fragmented sentences which aren't formatted properly, "From a big door, around 50 gangsters came out. We started to kill them. We got rid of them, with just some of the armor gone." What?! And what's with your endings? They're always include, "Then we went went to sleep, yay"

 

Voodoo People: Chapter 8: Liberty Finale part 1:

$__

The Groves don't have a Chainsaw or Satchels, if you have requested to purchases inform me. There were some spelling and grammar errors. And the appearance of Smoke wasn't such a big surprise, seeing after that you including Niko and even a trip to Liberty City it was not suspenseful and exciting. The actions scenes again, have no flow and the sentences were too much to the point, "he got headshot. Then he got headshot." also headshot should not be used as a verb. Just say he got shot in the head, or you just look lazy

 

 

*Calm down people, i'll do the rest later. I'm just right now.*

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TV1213

I think Benji needs more help...he is doing all the rates.

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YamiFly

Im here. I got a little internet.

 

I requested the chainsaw and satchels during the little finally not done gang war. Check, it was when I bought the Savanna. Before MM was banned. I'll try to do it better.

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Secret Assassin

I'll try, ill take kenjis casino, and how long should a story be?

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YamiFly

Assasin, you should get a story for about three paragraphs. Though you better don't take advice from me biggrin.gif

 

Voodo People:

Chapter 9:

Liberty Finale part 2:

 

We advanced. All rooms where empty. I decided not to take intel, though. Suddenly, I heard shots. A bullet flew past me. We turned around and saw Smoke and his friends attacking us. We all took cover in the walls dividing the corridors.

 

"Bam..." A voice said.

 

I turned around. A guy with a iron mask, making a smile. The guy had guns, knifes, an AK, SMG, and much more in some belts tied around his torso. He quickly dissapeared. I looked forward, and decided it was the end. Smoke, will die today. I shot a guy next to him, who fell to his back. I rolled and sprayed with bullets two of Smoke's bodyguards. The last three where killed by my crew. Smoke ran away. I followed him.

 

"Smoke!" I cried "You are dying today!"

"Keep dreaming!" he yelled as he threw a barrel at my route.

 

I jumped the barrel and shot an ammo barrel in the other room. Some guys hanged out there. Smoke was about to enter it. I rolled and ran after him, who went the other way.

 

"You are not getting away!" I yelled

"Yeah? And why did I all the other times!" He yelled at me "You didn't meant nothing to me, f**ker!"

 

I stopped. That words where like stabs to the heart. Like emotional gunshot wound.

 

"You... said..." I said sadly.

"Yeah, I said it!" He yelled as he sprinted away

"You said WHAT!" I yelled, full of rage.

 

I ran at full speed. Smoke left some barrels and crates in my way, none of that stopped me. I catched up with him, but he was in another corridor. I took out my gun and started blind shooting. He had body armor, so some of the bullets didn't hit him. Suddenly, I hit his knee. He dissappeared my view, that's how I realised.

 

"It is your END!" I yelled angrily.

"Screw you!" Smoke said.

"But before you die..." I said slowly "Why, why did you abandon me?"

"You messed with me!" Smoke yelled

"When?" I asked, with a high tone.

"When you messed up with my business!" Smoke answered.

 

I had a sudden flashback.

 

"This has to go to trial." My lawyer said.

"Murdering kids... that's heartless!" I cried "And it is even worse to do that for money!"

"Yes." My lawyer said slowly.

"But, who is behind this!"

"Smoke."

 

I felt a strike. What? Smoke?

 

"Did you shut down the thang?" I asked.

"Yes." My lawyer said.

 

I was back at reality. I saw smoke. He was trying to get up.

 

"Now you won't!" I yelled

 

Smoke ran as he could, but I shot him in the arm.

 

"This is the part you die." I said.

 

I took out my knife.

 

"Bye, Smoke."

 

I cut his throat. I took out his clothes and weapons. Intel would be all around, to uncover the mystery surrounding him. I took a look around. The dark warehouse had it's walls painted black. I coulden't see far into the distance. The walls where destroyed, full of fungi. Some had bullets on them. There where maps of Vice City, San Andreas and Liberty City. I took a look at a table full of papers. There was a dagger on one. I walked to the paper, and took out the knife. As soon as I picked up the paper, that voice appeared again.

 

"No, no no no..." he said slowly.

 

The voice had a creepy feel. It felt cold. I could feel him. The voice had its own stranger accent. Also it heard as if he was old. He took out his gun. A shot. The body fell to the floor, and blood was spattered around. He was dead.

 

______

 

Note: Sorry for long time. Surely, there will be more time in between the next chapter and this one. Also, the time would be a lotta longa.

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Secret Assassin

Chapter 1: Kenji’s young blood.

 

I was born in 1978, at the Portland hospital, my mom died in birth, so my dad Kenji, took care of me, he fed me, changed me, and loved for me until I betrayed him. The year is 1990, I was twelve at the time, and I saw a man and a prostitute in a car, so I hoped in not knowing what was happening, the female slowly started to roll me over onto her, where me and her… well lets stop there. Why? Because, I got dad sent to jail, and I don’t like that story. Dad was so mad, he went as far as to say “Your not in this family any more!”

I then grew up on the streets, as a member of the

Yakuza.

 

“The current date is nineteenth of April 1999.” The man on the corner said, answering another mans question. I was driving back home, my dad was getting out today, I just hoped he would make amends. As I drove, I listened to my radio and Chatterbox was on, so I called in.

 

”Welcome to chatterbox, what’s your name?” Lazlow said

“None of your business, hey f*ck off Lazlow!’ I said, I didn’t like Lazlow at all.

As I went past a tollbooth, they asked for ID, it read

 

· Mark

· 22

Renewal date: 1997

 

Then he suddenly dialed a number with three digits, and I sped off. The cops were right behind me though, so I quickly got out of my car and jumped into the water below, where I was knocked out when I hit a police boat.

 

When I awoke I was in a cell, on counts of murder and rape, which I only did once. The police officer approached.

 

“Get your sh*t, someone paid your bail.”

“Who?”

“Me.” My dad entered the room.

 

As he approached with the key, I told the guard thanks and got in my dad’s Yakuza Stinger.

 

“What in the hell did you do?” He said.

“Same as before.” I replied

“You always get into f*cking trouble don’t you? Can’t you just be a normal killer? You know, avoiding the police?” He said

“Dad I try but..”

“But what? God f*cks you every time? I’ve almost had it with you and your damn excuses!”

“Dad…”

“Get out of my mother f*cking car and get in the house!” We had arrived.

 

As I walked in, there were three triads in my house with bats, as they approached I hid. My dad had already left, and I was all alone, but luckily one of them dropped their bats, I quickly knocked the dude out, and took his bat. I then ran to the other two and after a short struggle, they were sharing the same fate. I quickly whipped out my Cell phone.

 

“Dad, your place has been trashed!” I yelled

“By who?”

“The triads.”

“f*ck you, I don’t appreciate jokes! You know we had signed a peace treaty!” He said, and then hung up. I then saw a man walk in, another triad, I approached him.

“Who are you f*cker?” I asked

“I’m Huang lee’s dad, my sons two.” He replied

“What in the f*ck are you doing here?” I yelled

“I’m f*cking ruined! Your dad screwed me and my business, listen please, just help me, then kill your dad and you could have his casino.”

“Fine, I’ll help you, but tell your men to lay off.”

“Fine, now f*ck off, I’ve got work to do.” He ended the conversation.

 

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Secret Assassin

Srry for double post, but i'm getting a new computer in a day, so i have to post this now, and it's REEEEEEALLY BAD!

 

Chapter 2 I’ll be there.

The Night was young, I had been partying and had just returned home, then I got a call from Marty, or Huang lee’s dad.

“Hello, I have a job for you.” He said before I even spoke, “Kill the following cop, I’ll send you the details via PDA.”

I pulled out my laptop, the man’s name was Phil Rogers, he had busted Marty four times, he was bald, and wore tight jeans and long shirts, and was an undercover officer, I could tell by the fact that the sirens were inside his car. I had to do research before I could attack. I grabbed my bat and headed out, I saw him get in a car and drive slowly to the gas station. I tailed him and when he arrived, he saw me. He got in and locked his doors.

 

I ran over and hit his door five times, but nothing happened, so I busted his windows, unlocked his car, and threw him out of the car. I killed him and the cops came, as they ran over, I stole the car, and the chase begun. As we were speeding down the streets of St.Mark, I turned and the cop car hit the corner.

 

I then drove home had a cigarette and as I was smoking fell asleep.

 

When I awoke I was being carried by a firefighter.

“What happened?” I asked

“Your house burnt down.”

 

I was on the streets, no place to go, no family, I was alone, so I called Marty.

“Can I stay with you?”

“Only for work.”

I set out.

 

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HouseJack14

Hey it's Secret assassin, i restarted, so i'll still be doing kenji's casino.

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hangingleone

Can i join in Leone's at Joey's garage?

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Vercetti27

stop making double accounts confused.gif

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Hanginggirl

Yeah confused.gif , and I'll join the Da Nang Boys at Pier 69.

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Sir Leone

 

WTF? are those all the same accounts? I'll take sal's mansion.

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YamiFly

Yah, you should know the best...

 

Also, HG, you should post your story now.

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Sir Leone

Intro

 

Who is that ass? Why is he here? Why does Toni keep coming back? Those were the only comments that ever arose about Toni Cipriani, being the new leader of the Mafia and having so much to worry about. But he is not the only character in our shortly unfolding tale, no there’s one more we must catch up to.

 

Mitch was outside of Luigi’s club, having a smoke.

“You ready?” Luigi asked?

“Let’s go.” Mitch answered grabbing a bag and getting in a Sentinel. They were currently at a stop sign, the light turned green and they drove to Salvatore’s old house.

 

Meanwhile Toni just arrived their and he was setting up, he had just got back from Florida, and was unpacking at his new house. Then the two men arrived, carrying the bag once more. Toni noticed

“Hey guys. What’s up?” He spoke the last words of his life. The men pulled out two machetes and walked towards him. They slowly cut out each and every bloody organ, and then they cut out his heart and threw it on the floor. Luigi stepped on it.

“This is it!” he said, “I’m famous! I’m don! I’m…”

“You? I thought it was WE.” He said.

“Sorry Mitch, there’s no time for dead meat.” He then cut Mitch right across the lip, and knocked him out.

 

 

“Wake him up! Wake him up!” The doctor said as they were trying to save Mitch’s life.

“He’s alive!” He said, “We saved him!”

Mitch heard the word we and wished they had not saved him.

 

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YamiFly

Well, after the busted rain of the other posts, I think BUYG is actually dying.

 

Well, I will be writing a story in short. It was left on the Liberty Finale and I have to end Voodoo People.

 

I hope you guys still check this thing.

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YamiFly

Guys?

 

Anyone check this thing?

 

PD: I know, I revived the thred and doubleposted, but only so ppl can see how great the thread is.

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Tyler

Ahh my first post in GTAF is dying? I shall not see this BUMP! BUMP! I say and write some f*cking greatness!

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Osric

So, since it has been months since I have written, I would like to switch to the Liberty City Triads.

 

Also, I think SA BUYG should be reset with all gangs returned to their original status. A relaunch could re-invigorate the place and bring back old members. The wave of banned-senseless members is annoying and has killed the place.

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YamiFly

True.

 

I would proudly take care of BUYG: SA, but I suck much more than Benji and others. Soooo no one will do it. Even if we three plead.

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Landstalker

I could perhaps help the cause.

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BrownBear

I'm not sure if I have to ask but can i do the Haitans?

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Ziggy455

(Sits in the corner smoking a cigarette enshrouded by darkness.)

 

I can help reset the game...But it's gonna' take alot of dedication and perseverence...I can code all of it back to reset status...but I'm looking for an immediate position in the Grove. smile.gif

 

tounge2.gif

 

Seriously, We should start it now. smile.gif

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WelcomeToLibertyCity

I seriously do not think simply resetting the gang back to their defaults will help anything. This place is dead because the interest for San Andreas and writing about it is dwindling.

 

If you seriously want to, try contacting all the staff members listed on the front page and see what they have to say. If all of them agree I'll send someone the account info to log in and clear it.

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Ziggy455

I don't know if this will get many views but I've coded a BUYG: Vice Edition in the Vice category, I need moderators and people who are willing to play. smile.gif

 

It's just Vice gangs, set in Vice City. smile.gif

 

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Tyler

How about, now stick with me here, we get the still active BUYG heads (Benji is gone I think) and they give ziggy,osric and some others the whole deal. Reset and make a new post for it. Some of the forumers would probably look into it and probably join, compared to this topic, which has been stretched farther then a austrian whore.

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WelcomeToLibertyCity

See what you can do with it, I don't mind helping out if the topic is actually active.

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