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Build Up Your Gang

BUYG: Build Up Your Gang

Recommended Posts

housejack12

Chapter 16 3/10/00 the whole gangs not here… Season 1 finale.

 

I was in my office when Toni approached me.

“Kid, listen I’m starting the Splinter Leone’s.” He had told me.

“So not with Salvatore?” I asked

“Yes, but we will kill him, and his friends.” Toni answered.

“Get out!” I said holding my 9mm to his face, “Get!”

He got out, and I soon heard my phone ring, it was Sal, I warned him and we met at his mansion.

“I don’t believe it!” he screamed

“I know, it’s terrible!” I acknowledged

“Let’s head out!” He said, as we got a taxi and went to the restaurant. When we got there Toni was waiting, so I took out my 50. Cal Muzzleloader sniper rifle, and shot, but missed, then four goons came out and tried to kill me, but I knifed them. Then two Sindaccos in a car came, and we had to retreat, it had been a long day.

 

I decided to go to my mentor for advice, and he told me I needed to look inside and find my inner strength, my mentor is Tommy Vercetti.

“Listen, I need you to blow up the subway, so Toni can’t use it to escape.” He had told me before I left. So I grabbed a satchel charge and was on my way, I blew up the subway and then Toni came, he was pissed and headed to the bridge.

 

“S**t the bridge is destroyed!” He screamed

“Yes it is Toni.” Tommy and me said at the same time.

“Please don’t kill me, I’ll do anything!” He cried

Then we shot him…

 

Season two will start in a few days, I just have to work on IV for now, but I wont forget Leones!!!

 

 

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YamiFly

Voodo People:

Chapter 3:

The uncrompensible Arab mystery part 1:

 

I woke up. I was really weak in my bed. I picked the remote control and changed to WCTR.

 

"A grove street member killed a police and ended up bringing Swat on him. He was found today dead at the water. Is beilieved that he suiceded." The reporter said. "Also, Sam, the only remaining member of the gang Varrios Los Aztecas, got out of San Andreas some days ago. Jacky, the member who betrayed the gang is missing. More on WCTR!"

 

I turned off the TV. I got up slowly and sitted on a wheelchair left there. I went down to the basement.

 

"How are things going... guys?" I asked.

"All good" Ice said. "There is no Arabian in the league"

"But I know what the meaning of the words are" Pegasus popped in.

"Really?!?" I asked exitedly "And what is it?"

"Its part of an arabian poem, it goes like this:

You will get down on your knees,

and be burned by the god

of the hell we believe

you are not going to."

"Wow..." I said

"Actually, theres a tape in his jacket. It's intact."

 

I picked it up and put it on.

 

"Abad, henkag abad kedabra." Some voices said

"Ginkam martal, lamar martè!" They sang.

"HEKAM, MANTER, HAKAGAM PIKGAM!" They yelled.

 

After that only screams.

 

"What is that Pegasus?" I asked

"Its the second part of the poem." he answered. "The poem was used for sacrifices in the Arabian country. Now they use it for desprice, and it's a tabuu word"

"Wow... did you find anything in the papers?" I asked

"Yeah, if you tie them together its a map of San Andreas with a lot of marked locations." Pegasus answered. "Also, other papers show the word "Varrios Haters", but there are tons of combinations that can be done, for example if we put this that way we make the word "Vagos Waiters" or if we move this here...."

 

He was showing me the combinations and the map when he stopped. The word "Voodo People" was formed. There were some skulls and red graffitis for the first time. Decorations were now in there. We knew it was the correct meaning.

 

"And what the hell is suppposed to say "Voodoo People?" I asked

"There's a whole lot of religion made about Voodoo..." Pegasus answered.

"OK, we'll have to investigate more...!" I said

"Wait!" Pegasus screamed. "Look, there are skulls and daggers marking different points on the map!"

"OK, we should paste this together and hang it up somwhere for investigation."

"Yes sir!" Pegasus answered.

 

I went around and said thank you to CJ and Sweet. Then I rided the wheelchair around to get used to it...

 

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housejack12

Prolouge Season 2

Show catch up...

 

 

Hired Hitman

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 16 3/10/00 the whole gangs not here… Season 1 finale.

 

I was in my office when Toni approached me.

“Kid, listen I’m starting the Splinter Leone’s.” He had told me.

“So not with Salvatore?” I asked

“Yes, but we will kill him, and his friends.” Toni answered.

“Get out!” I said holding my 9mm to his face, “Get!”

He got out, and I soon heard my phone ring, it was Sal, I warned him and we met at his mansion.

“I don’t believe it!” he screamed

“I know, it’s terrible!” I acknowledged

“Let’s head out!” He said, as we got a taxi and went to the restaurant. When we got there Toni was waiting, so I took out my 50. Cal Muzzleloader sniper rifle, and shot, but missed, then four goons came out and tried to kill me, but I knifed them. Then two Sindaccos in a car came, and we had to retreat, it had been a long day.

 

I decided to go to my mentor for advice, and he told me I needed to look inside and find my inner strength, my mentor is Tommy Vercetti.

“Listen, I need you to blow up the subway, so Toni can’t use it to escape.” He had told me before I left. So I grabbed a satchel charge and was on my way, I blew up the subway and then Toni came, he was pissed and headed to the bridge.

 

“S**t the bridge is destroyed!” He screamed

“Yes it is Toni.” Tommy and me said at the same time.

“Please don’t kill me, I’ll do anything!” He cried

Then we shot him…

 

Season two will start in a few days, I just have to work on IV for now, but I wont forget Leones!!!

 

 

 

 

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Beer Shaw

1- I got a little problem with my story, so I will post it this weekend or before if I am lucky.

2- Stop posting stories. They will not rate all those ten or twenty stories in one rating session. You have seen what happened with the seven stories. The three stories of Master Mind were not rated. Please, for the god sack, stop posting stories.

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housejack12

sorry...continue....

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housejack12

switch me to the yakuza at kenjii's casino

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Benjimino234

Beer Shaw is correct, this is too many for me. I'll have to PM the other staff members to get active because I've done like 6-7 rating sessions in a row.

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Vercetti27

 

Please, for the god sack, stop posting stories.

 

ok, for god sack turn.gif

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Beer Shaw

I am changing my mind. I will not join the Leone Mafia Family. I will choose one later.

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housejack12

ok Mastermind, that's right this deuch sent me a pm saying he was mm....

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Build Up Your Gang

1000th Post!

 

Okay I will hopefully begin the long task of rating all twenty something stories...

 

Beginning from Page 45 to Page 50

 

But before, was there Gang War intiated? Because I think Yamifly misunderstood... With this post

Oh so you are challanching me for a gang war? Ill get some pumped up gear!

 

Yamifly: The Explanation

Groves | Johnson House

$25

Satchel Charge? The Groves do not have a Satchel Charges because they have not yet been purchased. And if it wasn't the Groves who are, "they"? And if it was a rival gang at the start your protagonist clearly knew that there was a satchel charge left in his car. So what is it? A case of rule breaking or a terrible plot hole? By the way your missing fullstops during dialogue and you need to write flashback sequences into the story instead of [Flash-back] & [End of Flash-back], it looks very lazy.

 

Christmas Gift:

$30

You seem to be skipping scenes too much and I found it difficult to understand, but now I know that it was a rival gang that planted the Satchel Charge in the car. But how you wrote it in your first story it seemed like your protagonist knew about the satchel charge so I assumed that you included it into your story without buying it.

 

A satchel charge. They left one in my Flash. Though, they haven't blown it up just yet. I got up, and went walking to Smoke.

You see? It's like your protagonist was talking casually and it seemed he knew about the satchel charge.

 

And what are you doing here?: 5th Story Bonus

$12 + $100

Three words to describe this... What The f*ck? It started out interesting with a intruder in the night and a gunshoot out then to, "BAMBERIM RAN REN RUNRUNRANRRAAAAAAN!" a noise that a you make during a seizure or an epileptic fit then to location/action jumping.

"I went to the country!"

"I ate a sandwhich!"

"I went to San Fierro!"

"I stole a helicopter!"

"I went hiking!"

Seriously; What The f*ck?

 

Someone new:

$26

Mostly dialogue and it look awkward and not fluid. I find it ridiculous of this, "So we went over there and we found another three OGs." You could of simply said that they were Big Ice's friends and that they also wanted to join but instead your character just went up to random people and said, "Want to join a sub-group?" and, "What you good at?"

And how normal citizens somehow know how to shoot out of cars, do interrogations, crack codes and be stealthy. I'm sitting at my desk reading these stories and saying, "What the f*ck?" and re-reading it, so that I didn't miss anything but it turns out that it's the story that's missing important details and structure.

 

The big takedown:

$18

Very minimal detail, the actions scene were too short and that's where description is the most important and it seemed like you rushed it. And what's with the, "[Flash-back]" you culd of done the story without them and even though they shouldn't be written like that. Work flash backs into your stories instead of the messy and lazy way of "[Flash-back]" notations.

 

Voodoo People - Prologue:

$10

Uhh... Well you set up the 'mystery' of the Voodoo People with a grammatical error.

"The guy tied up was nearly bold" should be "The guy tied up was nearly bald"

Did you expect you be paid a lot of money for this? Because I'm very sure you know about chapter lengths and this is obviously very short.

 

Voodo People - Chapter 1: The unexplained corpse

$35

Better! More detail and not as many errors. You're improving and following the story plot closely. But what's this 'lab' you speak of? Now are the GSF NCIS? I chuckled at the fact that there's some sort of 'lab' to do testing on a corpse like in the crime shows. But this is better than messy action scenes that don't make sense.

 

Voodo People - Chapter 2: R.I.P. my friend. 5th Story Bonus

$38 + $100

Now you're getting somewhere! I liked the description and the car chase. But how was Sweet and CJ communitcating with your protagonist? You didn't seem to mention whether he got out the car when he arrived in Grove Street and it was a bit confusing. But what's with the car catapult powered by hydraulics? I find it hard to believe even in GTA:SA terms...

 

Voodo People - Chapter 3: The uncrompensible Arab mystery part 1

$39

These stories are looking more like the written form of a crime show or parts of a mystery novel. If this is what you're doing for then it's going well. I'd like to see how this goes...

 

 

_______________________________________________________________

 

Ziggy455: Los Santos Life

$26

A nice beginning, but short that really the only bad thing. Not much I can say.

 

(2nd Story) 5th Story Bonus

$42 + $100

Groves | Emmet's

There was a very well written description and emotion in your story, I enjoyed it. Just missing a capital in two or three places. You happen to use a car that the Groves does not own, "Stallion" to avoid little thing like this, just use the cars that the Groves already own. I know it may not seem like much but it's the little things. Next time Hawk could of stolen a Flash or a BF-500 instead.May I bring this to your attention...

 

As I pulled up Emmet jumped out, his face lit up as blood dripped from his shoulder, Jones followed; my arms supported him as he moved into the back. Just as Emmet slammed the door we continued to drive,

chaos was everywhere in the city, bullets hit the car at every turn.

Why the new line? You were still mid-sentence.

---- Congratulations, since you've rejoined, your previous three stories will now be added to your story count. And that mean you've already got a 5th Story Bonus. We don't forget our old writers wink.gif

 

 

 

@Osric: You must have a requirement of 5 stories in order to change gangs. But I don't know whether I count your stories from BUYG:IV stories and allows you to change, I'll need to ask...

Did a proper search and thanks for the confirmation. Added at Hyaku Dojo for the Yakuza

 

___________________________________________________________________________________________

______________________________

 

 

*Ratings still in progress*

 

------ Benjimino234

NOTE TO ALL WRITERS:
Stop posting Status Reports on your stories and stop clogging up the topic! Edited by Build Up Your Gang

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housejack12

sorry about my seventeen.... i'll post a chapter a week and that's it from now on, i swear

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housejack12

1 anoymos user =Mastermid=beer shaw=3,000,00,00,00 accounts...

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Osric

Count my stories from BUYG IV, I have at least seven or eight stories there. And about four stories here.

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Slingaa

@housejack12 - Jesus Christ! What did Benji just state in huge red letters?! Maybe you should read the f*cking rules.

 

I might not be able to do any rates; I've got a lot of stuff going on and only enough to check the forums once or twice a day. Sorry.

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WelcomeToLibertyCity

Benjimino, THANK YOU! For doing those ratings. The past few weeks have been hell with all the tests at school plus Christmas approaching. I don't even have all my gifts bought yet! So anyways thanks again.

 

I'll try to be abit more attentive to this place. I'm still working on the new gangs though.

Edited by WelcomeToLibertyCity

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Beer Shaw

 

Slingaa, THANK YOU! For doing those ratings. The past few weeks have been hell with all the tests at school plus Christmas approaching. I don't even have all my gifts bought yet! So anyways thanks again.

 

I'll try to be abit more attentive to this place. I'm still working on the new gangs though.

It is Benjimino123 who done the rates...

 

 

 

Can I join the San Fierro Rifa at Doherty Crack Lab? And could someone reset the Rifa stuff to zero?

Edited by Beer Shaw

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leone 13

could i join, just read rules and stuff it seems like a fun way to express myself

ill join the diablos at pay n spray and itll be fun considering im 1/3 mexican, ill call my guy Juinor

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YamiFly

Don't worry bout name yet. Wait till they accept it and then just start writing. Actually I recomend to stay low, and if you want to write write one or two stories till they finally finish rating. If not they will have tons of things to do.

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leone 13

thanks for a tip dude, how long should my stories be in paraghraps????

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YamiFly

Well I like long stories. Like around two to three paragraphs. Also be sure to follow the script. Its like this:

 

Use the "" in between sentences for example:

 

"Hello, I am Junior"

 

Also remember that if its the first time talking be sure to put it was him who said it, and how he did it.

 

"Also, don't think im little because of my name" Junior whispered.

 

Be sure to put the ! and ? inside the "" if any.

 

"Alright dude?" Junior asked.

 

If someone new talks go down a line

 

"Yeah, understood" The diablo gangster answered

"Ok, so what else do I need to talk about?" Junior asked

 

If the saying is too long, try cutting it to make it easier, for example

 

"Yeah, you need to talk about your life, past and all that" the diablo answered "Also wich gangs have you been and personal expierience"

 

Remember about capitals and punctuation.

 

"Ok , dude." Junior answered.

 

Remember, finish all your "" with . or ,

 

"I lived in Liberty City for four years ." Junior said

"OK, so you lived in Liberty . " the diablo repeated "For four years .

 

Numbers should be wrote on letters also.

 

 

 

Oh, and welcome to BUYG.

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leone 13

ok ill start chapter 1 the backstory

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Benjimino234

Hold on a minute...

 

With housejack12 banned (for reasons such as a certain topic) there were no other stories. Because Yamifly, housejack12, Ziggy455 and Master Mind (Also banned, but now as Beer Shaw) were the ones posting stories. The ratings are complete!

 

So hopefully we can get back to writing stories...

 

@Osric: I'll fix the post and reimburse your old stories as your bracketed story count.

@BUYG: Can someone rate my last two stories here and here, please?

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YamiFly

Great! Stories can be written now!

 

But all the stories from them, shouldent they add money to the gang? rolleyes.gif

 

Voodo People:

Chapter 4

The uncomprensible arab mystery part 2:

 

I went back to the lab. I don't know how long does it take, but sure these guys are quite fast.

 

"Pegasus?" I asked as I walked in the lab.

 

No answer.

 

"Z, Ice?" I asked again "Someone?"

 

No one was here. I headed over the lab. Intact. But then a sudden thought attacked me.

 

"Smoke!" I cried

 

I speeded to the interrogation room. I got in and Smoke was there. I got up near and hit him in the face.

 

"Uh, huh..." He said dreamly

"Where are the others?!?" I asked

"What, oh... I don't know, I was knocked suddenly." he answered

"Sh*t!" I muttered.

 

I felt good, so I got up. It was strange to walk after so much wheelchair. I felt weak standing up so I went back to the wheelchair and decided to get up only when necessary. I sped to the car. I put the wheelchair on the back and got in. I drove all the way to Las Flores and broke in. Nothing. I drove back to the lab to check the map. Daggers and skulls... I decided to check Los Santos daggers first. I went everywhere and broke in. Nobody nowhere. I kept on checking the daggers, and then the skulls, and nothing yet. I drove back to the basement.

 

"Fu*k it!" I cried. Then I went up to my room. In there was the unimaginable. Pegasus was knocked in there. Blood spread all over the wall. But he only had injuries in the hands.

 

"NOOO!" I yelled.

 

I dialed Sweet and after that CJ. We brought Pegasus all the way to the hospital. In there we waited. After the whole deal a doctor informed us.

 

"Umm, your friend is in a really bad situation." He started "But if we keep on treating him he will be out in a week or so."

"Ok, did he wake up?" I asked

"No, not yet" the doctor answered

 

I went back home. I was beat. I coulden't stand that much. I thought that without Pegasus, I woulden't find the fu*kers who kidnapped, killed, or whatever they did to Z and Ice. I layed down and yelled "Fu*k it!" I yelled before getting down. I never shut eye in the whole fu*kin night at all. I was really moved, troubled, I was angry, sad, everything. It was too much.

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leone 13

so can i post now, and the money should go comsidering housejack12 made like 2000 dollars spread it around or buy more weapons for eveybody etc.

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YamiFly

You could all of the time. But I think you should wait till they accept you. Or if not just start wrtiting thr intro.

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leone 13

Diablo’s

Chapter 1 some credit to Yamifly for some dialogue lines.

The Back-story

 

It was a sunny day in vice city when I decided it was time to go back to my home, Liberty city, you see I had lived there for four years, but after some bad blood with the Yardies I had to leave. I was driving to the airport all dressed up, because I would get to see my mom and pop again. When I arrived at the airport the man took a part of my ticket and I got on the plane, found a nice window seat, took two sleeping pills and was heading to my destination. As I awoke I noticed my nice burgundy seats, and felt a bump. We were there! I was only about twenty minutes away from a family reunion. As I got in my rented limo I noticed the nice leather seats.

 

“Are you Junior?” The driver asked

“Yes, but it has no reflection on my height.” I replied. We were driving as I noticed a couple members of my old gang the Diablo’s looking and pointing, I wasn’t the leader, but I was the second man in charge, behind El Burro. I wondered if I should re-join, considering I did most of the work I then pulled in at mothers house.

“Honey how nice to see you.” Mom said

“You too.” I replied, “How’s dad?” I added

“He’s out shopping.” She replied, “Listen I need you to buy some bats for baseball, for your brother.” She told me handing me a crisp two-dollar bill. So I left to the Sporting goods store when I arrived I noticed a small man who couldn’t reach the golf clubs.

“Let me help you.” I said

“Get away, you, you jerk!” the man screamed

“How much for bats?” I asked the clerk.

“Two for two.” He replied

“Okay I said.” I’ll take them.

As I walked out of the store I headed to my car, when I saw some Yardies pull up and start to shoot me. I was shot six times in the leg and shoulder, I was in the hospital, but I knew I must re-join the Diablo’s.

 

Two months later

I was living in the hotel near by, my mom had been killed in a car accident earlier, rushing to the hospital, I never knew my dad, El Burro is my uncle, my last relative. I was working at the pay n’ spray. A car pulled up.

 

“Turn it all black.” It was a sentinel, so it was mafia, so for fun I turned it all yellow, and then the customer came back.

“I said black!” He said shooting my homie, and driving off. I had to also take a test to get back in, and also had to work my way from the bottom.

“You Junior?” A Diablo asked me.

“Yes.”

“Here it is.”

Are you Male? Yes

Mexican? 1/3

Good Hit man? Yes

Final question can you kill the man behind you for me?

I threw him over the table and El Burro walked in.

“Hello Papa.” I said

“Hi, thanks he was a Yardie, anyway be here tomorrow morning, I’ve got a job for you.” He said

“Yes, I’ll be here…” I said to be continued.

 

 

 

 

Edited by leone 13

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Osric

Here's my first Yakuza story. It's not much, but it'll do. Also, Capital City and Crown City are the GTA versions of Washington D.C. and Philadelphia respectively.

 

I'd also like to buy a shotgun for the Yakuza.

 

LIBERTY CITY YAKUZA

 

Chapter I-And So It Begins....

 

My name is Yukio Takenuchi, and I am a 22-year old associate of the Liberty City Yakuza. This is my story.....

 

The year was 2005, and snow blanketed the streets of Liberty City. The only place I saw that could get more snow was my native home in Hokkaido. I was sitting in Hayate Hatake's office above the Hyaku Dojo. The place was well-decorated, with traditional Japanese artifacts and artwork all over the walls. The sweet smell of incense clouded the air, and I sat down in the comfy cushions on the floor next to the table.

 

Hayate Hatake was my boss, and he was a lieutenant in the Yakuza. He was a man of thirty, but he looked like he was in his early-to-mid twenties. He was sitting on the cushion in front of me, on the other side of the small, short, table. We both began sipping warm, sweet tea.

 

"Yukio, how was the traffic?"

 

"Horrible, the snow has made everyone crazy. You wanted to talk to me?"

 

"Yes, I need you to help me. As you may know, we've had an unstable alliance with the Leone Family, after the deaths of Salvatore Leone and Asuka Kasen, we both needed to stand together against the menace of the Colombian Cartel. Also, Russian Bratvas from Capital City and Crown City have expanded into Liberty City, which has extended our alliance. However, I still don't trust these hysterical Italian guidos. Toni Cipriani is smart, he knows our alliance won't last, yet our Oyabun, Mr. Watanabe, still thinks we can stay united against the Russians. Nevertheless, we must stay together for now until we can gain the upper hand against the Russians. Go down to Mama-chan's down in Portland, you know Mama-chan, right? She owns a small club down in the Red Light District."

 

He handed me the keys to the car and sent me out....

Edited by Osric

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YamiFly

Voodoo People

Chapter 5:

The uncomprensible Arab mystery part 3.

 

Pegasus woke up. I was in the room when he opened he's eyes.

 

"Whattup?" I asked him.

"Fine..." he answered

"What happened?" I asked again

"I don't know, just a bam and I lost conciousness." He answered

"Well the others are kidnapped" I answered back.

"Ok, did you bring the map?" He asked

"Yeah, why?" I asked back

"Because I thought something" he answered

"Really? What?" I asked

"Show me the map." He asked

 

I did. He explained that putting all the daggers and skeletons united with lines, it will pin point the locations. It did. Little X marking all around the map. One in Las Flores.

 

"Wow..." I said impressed.

"We have to start around here" he said.

 

Two weeks later...

 

"Im out finally!" Pegasus cried

"Let's go!" I said.

 

We went to the car and drove to the different locations.The first one went like this:

 

We broke in. I had my Tec and he had his. We made our way like a pair of shadows, stealth. I took my silenced and headshot the guard. Pegasus got his knife and killed the other one. But a missed shot and a crate exploded. We took our Tec and use the surprise element. We killed majory. A group fell from above and Pegasus shot the ladder. I shot an ammo crate nearby and killed the ones on the floor. Some of them just fell to the floor. I sneaked through the back and moved a crate. The crate had a stachel charge. I came back and I waited till they came down. Some reinforcments came and the other ones picked a ladder and climbed down. I exploded the satchel charge while Pegasus covered the other sides with molotovs. After that we advanced. No one here.

 

We came back home. Pegasus said he wanted to investigate while I wanted to sleep. Luckily, my wheelchair was placed in my room and I didn't have to use it no more. I slept all the night.

 

_____

Edit:

 

I thought of maybe making a Lounge. For all off topic conversations about BUYG. So the topic doesn't get so much answers and only stories and rates.

 

Edit 2:

 

I think I already make the 10th story. If that is so, I want the Colt Python for free weapon under 150$.

Edited by YamiFly

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Benjimino234

Okay... Beer Shaw a.k.a Master Mind just got banned so... Just remove him?

 

And can someone rate my stories??

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