Tonight's Prey... (Short Story Of The Month Entry)

[The Unvirginiser]

If you don't bust a nut to this you're probably gay... FAG! BLAHHH!!!

 

Then if your name is Andy you will wank to it and be one anyway.. DOUBLEBLAHHH!

 

 

As I entered the dusty old tavern the energetic atmosphere was instantly slain, it was as if lightning had struck the hearts of every drunken peasant and murdered the happiness that infected their miserable souls.

Fear

It was the beautiful thing that separated their pathetic, pointless lives from a truly powerful man like me. I didn’t have a fine castle or an army of slaves. I did not own acres of farmland that engulfed the distant horizon or fine gowns that made floors unworthy to receive my footsteps… no, fear made me the powerful man that I am.

 

Fear

 

Fear that I will steal the village people’s children in the night and return them at dawn, lifeless and drained of all their blood

Fear that I will transform in to a hideous bat at a moments notice

Fear that I will senseless kill, just because I like it.

 

Fear that I am a vampire, a supernatural creature, capable of pure evil, free from exempt, remorse or guilt. I would happily pull of a new born babies’ face or beat an old woman to death... just because I can, just because I want to.

 

That is the reason why the tavern was in silence upon my entrance, the happy and joyful night had just been brutally severed, nobody dared draw attention to themselves, tonight’s victim could be anybody, best not to give an initiative or motive, that can’t improve your odds can it?

 

I settled in the corner, clicked my long bony fingers for a drink. The small landlord scuttled over, pale as death and shaking. I didn’t grace his hands with any coins; my payment was a night of safety.

 

After a few drinks, the happy atmosphere gradually crept back in to the room; people were even daring to laugh… I bided my time; soon I would take tonight’s first victim, as soon as they have let their guard down…

 

 

 

Then she walked in, the beautiful blonde haired lady… half the men at the bar were still staring, stunned and wide mouthed when she came and sat beside me.

 

“Hello stranger” She whispered in her sensual voice.

“Hello yourself” I replied “I’ve never seen you around town before”

“Oh, I’m not local; I’ve had a bit of a disagreement with my husband, its best that I get away from things for tonight.”

“A lover’s tiff, what a shame”

 

I eyed her full, firm breasts, they were practically bursting from her dress, holding them in was only a thing lace, in a delicate bow. It took all of my strength to resist pulling the lace and taking her there and then in the bar, but I resisted, she would be my prey this evening.

 

“Will you be able to keep me company tonight?” Her deep blue eyes met my cold, black, lifeless pupils; the sexual attraction filled our surroundings like the sweet scent of blood… I could almost smell the aroma of passion.

 

Four drinks later we were inseparable; we stumbled through the muddy streets, towards my home, our hands could not be withdrawn from each other’s bodies. Her full figure was perfect; curves in all the right places and a body that made my penis throb and pulsate with anticipation.

 

I pushed her against a nearby wall; we embraced again and locked lips, our hands exploring each other’s bodies.

“You look so familiar darling, are you sure we haven’t spent a night together before?”

“Defiantly not handsome, I would remember your face four towns away, how far is it now?”

 

The house was too far, I had to have her now. A nearby doorway stood just a few feet away; with a sudden dart I opened the wooden door and entered the small house. An elderly couple sat around a fire in stunned disbelief that I had entered their home.

My teeth bared their vamparic trademark and my eyes flashed a dark, blood red

“Out!” Without hesitation they both sprinted for the door.

This turned her on.

 

She came in to the room, I went forward to kiss her again but she grabbed me firmly by the penis.

“All in good time darling…” With force she pushed me backwards on to the small bed in the corner.

 

My body was pulsing, my penis was about to rip open my pants with its own accord.

Slowly she untied the lace, holding the enormous breast in place. She danced erotically around the candle lit room, sticking out her hips until she finally had removed all of the delicate bow.

 

Her massive breasts fell out of the firm holding… they were perfectly shaped and longing for some attention. She passed the lace through her lips and across her succulent tongue.

 

A Tease

 

She could see that I had no patience for teasing, but still, she continued. Slowly she crept forward and pushed my wrists against the wooden bed frame. With obvious experience and skill she tied me up, dangling her breast inches from my face the entire time. The pink, hard nipples were within reach of my tongue… but I waited.

 

I couldn’t bear this much longer; my penis throbbed and throbbed, begging for sex.

 

Backwards, she slowly walked, pulling her dress up, higher and higher with each footstep. Eventually her hands reached her soft pussy, gently, at first she began to rub her clitoris up and down, delving her soft fingers in to the wet crevices of her pussy.

I watched in envy as she moaned and moaned, pleasuring herself in the corner, I longed for that pleasure, the pleasure of sex, the pleasure of getting my hands on that body, the please of biting that neck.

 

The sweet smell of her pussy now filled the room and her soft moans echoed off the walls.

 

I was in heaven and hell at the same time.

 

It was too much!

 

“Come here now!” I commanded, she licked her lips and slowly walked over, removing her dress in the process. It was the sexiest walk I’ve ever witnessed; her entire body was a busty, bouncing, sex machine. Those amazing legs criss-crossed as she made her way towards me.

 

My balls were going to explode

 

She slowly crawled on to the bottom end of the bed

 

“You want to f*ck me do you? You want to shove that huge cock in to my wet pussy?” Her soft hands stroked my balls. They moved up to the tip of the penis, then back down to the balls, where they firmly grasped them. She licked my penis all over, from the top to the bottom, inside and out. Her hands gripped and rotated around my pulsating nuts, full to the brink with semen.

 

Enough was enough and she knew it

 

Finally, she climbed aboard; with great determination she guided my penis in to her moist, warm vagina. My entire body stiffened and tensed, the pleasure was too much, I had to bite her luscious neck soon. The pussy was so tight, the tightest I’d ever had, she began to slowly bounce, her buttocks stroked my balls as she rocked backwards and forwards, thrusting her hips.

 

Like a caged animal I pulled with all my strength against the laces.

 

“Not yet… not yet…” She whispered through her moans.

 

Her huge breast jumped up and down with every bounce, she was driving me insane and she knew it.

 

I eyed the spot, just on her neck, where the parting was in her long blonde hair. My teeth ached, anticipating the bite.

 

Just a little longer…

 

Finally she gave in; slowly she untied the laces that bound me, instantly I leaped from the sweaty bed and picked her up. We fumbled around the room, my fingers rubbed her clit rapidly and she jerked my cock as hard as she could, it was hurting but I liked it. Eventually we ended up on a desk in the corner. Her buttocks slammed down and I pushed her against the wall.

 

As I finished pulling my pants off properly she spread her legs and licked her finger, while she waited for me she started to rub her clit again, breathing heavily and licking her lips.

The smell of her wet, waiting pussy made my cock stiffen even more, she wanted it, she wanted me… and I wanted her blood.

 

My penis popped through her vagina lips again, I always loved the feeling of popping through a pussy. She groaned and wrapped her legs around my waist, I was stood up and she was sat on the desk, pressed against the wall.

 

I started thrusting as fats as I could, she held tightly on to my long black hair and held my left buttock with her other hand. I rammed and rammed, the wood banged against the stone wall and made a loud echo, her juices squelched and my balls skimmed the edge of the desk.

 

I went faster and faster, I could feel myself climaxing! The cum was about to split my balls apart and splash all over her hot, wet clit.

 

“F*ck my arse, F*ck my arse!”

 

I needed no lube, she was wet enough for this. My soaked penis slipped up there fine, she stayed in the same position but just moved her arse higher. That thing was tighter than the pussy! My end was bright red and wet, but not just with pussy juice.

 

The smell of smeg flooded the room, it was nearly time. Soon it would be filled with the scent of blood.

 

It didn’t take many thrusts to make me climax, I went faster and faster, she screamed louder and louder.

 

“Fill up my arse! Fill me up!”

 

I was going to fill her with cum and drain her of blood. I was now past the point of no return… my juices were boiling. I was nearly there! Now was the time.

 

I pulled back her sweat-drenched hair and kissed her neck. That was the spot; my canines grew and salivated for blood. My jaw tensed as I lunged for her neck, my penis was on the verge of squirting up her tight arse.

 

Then something happened.

 

Shock spread through my body as I felt two piercings on the right side of my neck. It felt as though somebody ahs stabbed me in the throat! My screams seemed to slither out of the wound like smoke, I couldn’t speak or move.

 

She let out a final moan as she came; it spurted all over the base of my penis. My own blood then flooded down her chest… to her stomach and in to her soaked vagina, which she lovingly mixed in with her own juices. She kissed me on my wide open stunned lips; her mouth was filled with my blood, her canine, vamparic teeth were soaked.

The orgasm shook her entire body, after ten seconds of moaning she went back to sucking my neck. It seemed to last forever, me, standing there... Motionless... Helpless... as I fell victim to my own deadly manoeuvre.

 

It wasn’t long before my gaunt body fell backwards and splashed in to a pool of my own blood, my dick fired out its remaining cum when I hit the ground.

 

The last thing I saw was the beautiful woman standing over me; she squatted down and let my juice flow back out, all over my lifeless face… in to my blood shot eyes and down my blood flooded throat.

 

?

Edited August 20, 2008 by The Unvirginiser

[Oxidizer]

Your author's note is the best. Evar!

 

What a spunk fest! Vampires, vaginas and vigor. What more could a young red-blooded dude want?

 

And some of your description! Phenomenal.

 

You get my vote. The 'f*ck my arse, f*ck my arse!' orgasm would've won that regardless of vampirism anyway!

[Angelo Leone]

Your filth could make Larry Flynt blush.Seriously,I like naked chicks and all,but you were too graphic.

[Gabriel Constantin]

...I like naked chicks and all,but you were too graphic.

Welcome to Writer's Discussion, it's all down-hill from here.

[Wanted Assailant]

 

If you don't bust a nut to this your probably gay... FAG! BLAHHH!!!

 

Then if your name is Andy you will wank to it and be one anyway.. DOUBLEBLAHHH!

 

Nice eye opener.

 

 

 

Your filth could make Larry Flynt blush.Seriously,I like naked chicks and all,but you were too graphic.

 

Hmm:

 

 

Writer's Discussion is like an independent publisher that allows you to write and draw something of anything, and it's completely acceptable.

 

That's our slogan, or at least should be.

 

 

 

 

 

 

You're sure that isn't tossed, chugging milk at the end? And nice to see the twist actually being the chick. What, that world is just full of vampires, eh? When you said you were gonna include vampire, I didn't expect this...

 

 

 

I'm tempted to give you a cookie me momma made.

[Eminence]

Teenage angst meet your source of gratification... erotic fiction.

 

I'm not impressed. What's the point?

[The Unvirginiser]

Teenage angst meet your source of gratification... erotic fiction.

 

I'm not impressed. What's the point?

Look past the shocking theme and in to the description, setting, twist and plot.

 

It's never been done before, that's mainly why, any controversity is posotive in my eyes...

The point isn't the bonking, it's the description and the way the fantasy theme has been morphed in to something very very different from what was expected

[Eminence]

The description is bland, basic and intentionally vulgar. There's a wealth of typos, punctuation and grammar mistakes, the twist was obvious from the get-go and the plot nonexistent. It has been done before, so there's no controversy - it's just a rehash of somebody trying to be as vulgar as possible in the description of a sexual act. Can you say yawn?

[The Unvirginiser]

 

The description is bland, basic and intentionally vulgar. There's a wealth of typos, punctuation and grammar mistakes, the twist was obvious from the get-go and the plot nonexistent. It has been done before, so there's no controversy - it's just a rehash of somebody trying to be as vulgar as possible in the description of a sexual act. Can you say yawn?

 

~Removed~

Edited August 20, 2008 by The Unvirginiser

[Eminence]

Hit a nerve? You should calm down, you know. And it was criticism, actually; look it up. I just didn't feel like hand-picking every single error as per usual. Why? Because, to me, this is just a kid writing about a sexual fantasy. That's all it is.

[The Unvirginiser]

 

Hit a nerve? You should calm down, you know. And it was criticism, actually; look it up. I just didn't feel like hand-picking every single error as per usual. Why? Because, to me, this is just a kid writing about a sexual fantasy. That's all it is.

Hardly a fantasy, not a personal one anyway.

Just didn't feel there was any need for your hostility, or that's how it came across to me anyway.. and saying about the yawn isn't very nice is it? Just plain un-needed.

[TonyZimmzy]

Removed at the frequent requests of Unvirginiser. Bro, stop being a baby and realise that you'll always have critics, and telling them to f*ck off isn't gonna do you any favours. Just from reading a few lines of the story I got bored and drifted off - but my attention is elsewhere anyway.

Edited August 20, 2008 by TonyZimmzy

[makeshyft]

http://www.wikihow.com/Use-You're-and-Your

 

When your very first sentence contains a glaring error, it doesn't bode well for the rest. Sure enough - as Eminence said - there are a number of other mistakes throughout. All I will say about the content, is that it takes a special talent to make vulgarity work. Simply writing about sex acts and murder does not make a story interesting, or unique.

 

Also, does the narrator die? How is he relating this story to reader in the past tense, if so?

[Wanted Assailant]

Eh. This place is for literature expression, no matter how vulgar, nasty, disturbing it may be.

[The Unvirginiser]

http://www.wikihow.com/Use-You're-and-Your

 

When your very first sentence contains a glaring error, it doesn't bode well for the rest. Sure enough - as Eminence said - there are a number of other mistakes throughout. All I will say about the content, is that it takes a special talent to make vulgarity work. Simply writing about sex acts and murder does not make a story interesting, or unique.

 

Also, does the narrator die? How is he relating this story to reader in the past tense, if so?

He does die, that's the whole twist... he was going to kill the girl but in eventuality he is killed himself

[makeshyft]

 

He does die, that's the whole twist...

How is he relating the story to the reader in the past tense?

 

That was the point I was trying to make. I understood what you were trying to do, but somehow this person details everything up to, and including his death. That is quite confusing.

Edited August 20, 2008 by makeshyft

[The Unvirginiser]

He does die, that's the whole twist...

How is he relating the story to the reader in the past tense?

 

I got the twist, thanks.

I thought about that.. but who knows.. I know it's strange that he died and is still telling us what happened..

 

It's called the willing suspension of disbelief

[Ziggy455]

I'd never wank to that it sounds like a gothic snuff film! good but not in a sexual way and NO i'm not a fag...

[hybrid88]

I'm new to all this, so forgive me if I've quoted wrongly

 

 

at first she began to rub her clitoris up and down, delving her soft fingers in to the wet crevices of her pussy.

 

Here i would have said "crevice" and not "crevices", it makes the woman sound like she has multiple vaginal canals..

 

 

The sweet smell of her pussy now filled the room and her soft moans echoed off the walls.

 

LOL, any vaginal smell that fills a room is definitely not going to be a sweet smell! haha

 

 

“You want to f*ck me do you? You want to shove that huge cock in to my wet pussy?”

 

again, lol, was such vocabulary around in this ye olde time "f*ck. cock. pussy" lol.

 

 

Her hands gripped and rotated around my pulsating nuts, full to the brink with semen.

 

I'd have said "full to the brim with semen"

 

 

The pussy was so tight, the tightest I’d ever had, she began to slowly bounce, her buttocks stroked my balls as she rocked backwards and forwards, thrusting her hips.

 

I thought this woman was married?! married women aren't virgin tight, especially in that era. There was no legal age so allsorts of men had sex with like 12 year olds. oh and reffering to the "huge cock" section, she'd have only known if it was big if she had slept around or her husband was small sized, thus backing up the fact unless she did her kegel exercises and shagged small willied men then she wouldn’t have kept her tightness.

 

 

Like a caged animal I pulled with all my strength against the laces.

“Not yet… not yet…” She whispered through her moans.

Finally she gave in; slowly she untied the laces that bound me

 

you "pulled with all your strength" and then "she gave in; slowly untied" lol, sounds like your vampire is weak, if u pulled and nothing actually happened.

 

 

I went faster and faster, I could feel myself climaxing! The cum was about to split my balls apart and splash all over her hot, wet clit.

 

I'm assuming at the point of no return and your vampire was going to ejaculate he was going to withdraw his penis, as the clitoris is on the outside of the body, as the penis is in her, to splash on her clit would involve u withdrawing yourself. also, "wet" ? from sweat? the clit is on the top part of the vulva area, unless you rubbed precum on her clit before hand her clit wouldn’t be "wet" from her own wetness...

 

 

I needed no lube, she was wet enough for this. My soaked penis slipped up there fine,

 

lol, the anus only has enough lubrication to help stools evacuate. I’m surprised at how this woman’s anus is sufficiently self lubricated. hehe, and i don’t think your penis would be soaked as such, maybe just slightly coated in each others precum/wetness.. what still would be quite tight to just solely use for anal sex.. also. in this era, I can only imagine what kind of "lube" they had. If any.

 

 

The smell of smeg flooded the room, it was nearly time. Soon it would be filled with the scent of blood.

 

smeg?! that’s nasty. How dirty is this vampires willy?! obviously he followed bad sex etiquette, and she oral’ed him before, bet that didn’t taste nice!! Keep it as clean as poss guys!

 

 

My screams seemed to slither out of the wound like smoke, I couldn’t speak or move.

 

“my screams .. I couldn’t speak” lol all in the same sentence. How does that work?

 

 

She let out a final moan as she came; it spurted all over the base of my penis. My own blood then flooded down her chest… to her stomach and in to her soaked vagina, which she lovingly mixed in with her own juices.

 

I thought your vampire just bummed her? And u practically/nearly ejaculated in her ass? Oh she’s one the lucky under 10% of girls who can “squirt”… if your blood went down her chest and into her vagina (some how?!) then she isn’t a very food efficient vampire..

 

 

It wasn’t long before my gaunt body fell backwards and splashed in to a pool of my own blood, my dick fired out its remaining cum when I hit the ground.

 

lol I can actually imagine some guy like passed out with little feeble shoots of jizz spurting out his dilapidated body. Haha

 

 

The last thing I saw was the beautiful woman standing over me; she squatted down and let my juice flow back out, all over my lifeless face… in to my blood shot eyes and down my blood flooded throat.

I take it you are now in hell reflecting on your life as you talk of your death?

Also, I thought the reason why vampires needed to drink warm blood is because their own doesn’t circulate well and its cold, as they are the living dead, so your blood technically should have killed her itself or your puncture marks could have rejected her teeth or she would have realised u were a vampire at the first suck of blood and immediately rejected your stale cold and useless blood..

[TonyZimmzy]

I lol'd. Damn, Will, you really need to work on your writing. Badly.

[The Unvirginiser]

 

QUOTE 

The pussy was so tight, the tightest I’d ever had, she began to slowly bounce, her buttocks stroked my balls as she rocked backwards and forwards, thrusting her hips.

 

 

I thought this woman was married?! married women aren't virgin tight, especially in that era. There was no legal age so allsorts of men had sex with like 12 year olds. oh and reffering to the "huge cock" section, she'd have only known if it was big if she had slept around or her husband was small sized, thus backing up the fact unless she did her kegel exercises and shagged small willied men then she wouldn’t have kept her tightness.

 

 

QUOTE 

Like a caged animal I pulled with all my strength against the laces.

“Not yet… not yet…” She whispered through her moans.

Finally she gave in; slowly she untied the laces that bound me

 

 

you "pulled with all your strength" and then "she gave in; slowly untied" lol, sounds like your vampire is weak, if u pulled and nothing actually happened.

 

 

QUOTE 

I went faster and faster, I could feel myself climaxing! The cum was about to split my balls apart and splash all over her hot, wet clit. 

 

 

I'm assuming at the point of no return and your vampire was going to ejaculate he was going to withdraw his penis, as the clitoris is on the outside of the body, as the penis is in her, to splash on her clit would involve u withdrawing yourself. also, "wet" ? from sweat? the clit is on the top part of the vulva area, unless you rubbed precum on her clit before hand her clit wouldn’t be "wet" from her own wetness...

 

 

QUOTE 

I needed no lube, she was wet enough for this. My soaked penis slipped up there fine, 

 

 

lol, the anus only has enough lubrication to help stools evacuate. I’m surprised at how this woman’s anus is sufficiently self lubricated. hehe, and i don’t think your penis would be soaked as such, maybe just slightly coated in each others precum/wetness.. what still would be quite tight to just solely use for anal sex.. also. in this era, I can only imagine what kind of "lube" they had. If any.

 

 

That gave me a good chuckle, I'll try to adress your points as best as I can =)

 

1: The woman is a ho

2: He's tied up, pulling won't snap the strings

3: Yeah.. he was gonna' pull out and give her and good old decorating... and it's just wet all over from the whole situation.. sweat.. excitment.. you know how it is

4: When I said wet enough for this... I meant the dick was wet enough to lube itself up because it's become so wet from her vagina

 

 

 

 

[hybrid88]

 

QUOTE 

The pussy was so tight, the tightest I’d ever had, she began to slowly bounce, her buttocks stroked my balls as she rocked backwards and forwards, thrusting her hips.

 

 

I thought this woman was married?! married women aren't virgin tight, especially in that era. There was no legal age so allsorts of men had sex with like 12 year olds. oh and reffering to the "huge cock" section, she'd have only known if it was big if she had slept around or her husband was small sized, thus backing up the fact unless she did her kegel exercises and shagged small willied men then she wouldn’t have kept her tightness.

 

 

QUOTE 

Like a caged animal I pulled with all my strength against the laces.

“Not yet… not yet…” She whispered through her moans.

Finally she gave in; slowly she untied the laces that bound me

 

 

you "pulled with all your strength" and then "she gave in; slowly untied" lol, sounds like your vampire is weak, if u pulled and nothing actually happened.

 

 

QUOTE 

I went faster and faster, I could feel myself climaxing! The cum was about to split my balls apart and splash all over her hot, wet clit. 

 

 

I'm assuming at the point of no return and your vampire was going to ejaculate he was going to withdraw his penis, as the clitoris is on the outside of the body, as the penis is in her, to splash on her clit would involve u withdrawing yourself. also, "wet" ? from sweat? the clit is on the top part of the vulva area, unless you rubbed precum on her clit before hand her clit wouldn’t be "wet" from her own wetness...

 

 

QUOTE 

I needed no lube, she was wet enough for this. My soaked penis slipped up there fine, 

 

 

lol, the anus only has enough lubrication to help stools evacuate. I’m surprised at how this woman’s anus is sufficiently self lubricated. hehe, and i don’t think your penis would be soaked as such, maybe just slightly coated in each others precum/wetness.. what still would be quite tight to just solely use for anal sex.. also. in this era, I can only imagine what kind of "lube" they had. If any.

 

 

That gave me a good chuckle, I'll try to adress your points as best as I can =)

 

1: The woman is a ho

2: He's tied up, pulling won't snap the strings

3: Yeah.. he was gonna' pull out and give her and good old decorating... and it's just wet all over from the whole situation.. sweat.. excitment.. you know how it is

4: When I said wet enough for this... I meant the dick was wet enough to lube itself up because it's become so wet from her vagina

lol ok.

 

1. but how can the woman be a ho, and still have a tight fanny?! how many slack fannies has ur vampire been with to think this ho is the tightest ever.. hes obviously never been with a virgin or a woman whos slept with less than like 10 men! haha

 

2. lol what kind strings are they? is she married to a fisherman by any chance?! she might have done up some impressive knottage!

 

3. "i could feel myself climaxing" , that comes across as he is literally right there n then orgasming. in men, thats the actual orgasm for good whole 3-5 seconds or so,,, perhaps "i could feel my pleasure building" would have sufficed in him getting close and pleasure mouting and about to reach this climatic plateau but not that point of no return. also, it dont say anywhere or suggests anywhere that he was gona pull out n creampie her pussy.

 

4. ok,well, that precum and wetness on his willy wouldnt have lasted long if the bum isnt naturally lubed enough for bum sex, as the bum cavity would have absorbed some of the wetness and it would have dried a little too from the thrusting fast and just general body heat contact.. (i've experienced bum sex first hand and im telling you, relying on ur own vaginal secretions to slather up on a dick for receiving bum sex is DEFO not enough, seriously like a massive blop of lube can get used up in 2 mins!) ..so again this would cause some discomfort, but your woman/born again virgin tight vagina ho seems to enjoy it, which begs to ask, if shes had it done before, is she anally stretched despite her bum hole being apparently tighter than her vagina. to receive bum sex with hardly any lubrication would cause anal tearin n discomfort, so im assuming her arse is as slack as her fanny and shes got goatse or something! haha.

 

[Eminence]

But that's not how he saw it in the porno!

 

 

 

Please, man, don't get offended by that.

[Oxidizer]

Superb analysis, hybrid88. I especially like your usage of the word 'willy'.

[The Unvirginiser]

Well lads, when it comes to sex, you seriously know the full details don't ya, inside and out

Yeah I see what your all saying though, maybe I needed to think fantasise is through more

 

In all seriousness though, it was for the lulz, the authors note alone should indicate that =)

[hybrid88]

 

Well lads, when it comes to sex, you seriously know the full details don't ya, inside and out 

Yeah I see what your all saying though, maybe I needed to think fantasise is through more 

 

In all seriousness though, it was for the lulz, the authors note alone should indicate that =)

..im a girl!

[TonyZimmzy]

 

Well lads, when it comes to sex, you seriously know the full details don't ya, inside and out 

Yeah I see what your all saying though, maybe I needed to think fantasise is through more 

 

In all seriousness though, it was for the lulz, the authors note alone should indicate that =)

..im a girl!

A sexy girl at that!

 

I wrote El Hamburgo for 'teh lulz' and I still wrote it properly. Even in a story that's made intentionally retarded, it's still a story at the end of the day.

[The Unvirginiser]

Well lads, when it comes to sex, you seriously know the full details don't ya, inside and out 

Yeah I see what your all saying though, maybe I needed to think fantasise is through more 

 

In all seriousness though, it was for the lulz, the authors note alone should indicate that =)

..im a girl!

A sexy girl at that!

 

I wrote El Hamburgo for 'teh lulz' and I still wrote it properly. Even in a story that's made intentionally retarded, it's still a story at the end of the day.

I don't really think it was written that badly.. it started of well and when it got to the.. uh.. yaknow.. it went severely downhill

[Oxidizer]

I honestly didn't think it was that bad, and can't see what the big problem is.

[hybrid88]

 

Well lads, when it comes to sex, you seriously know the full details don't ya, inside and out 

Yeah I see what your all saying though, maybe I needed to think fantasise is through more 

 

In all seriousness though, it was for the lulz, the authors note alone should indicate that =)

..im a girl!

A sexy girl at that!

 

I wrote El Hamburgo for 'teh lulz' and I still wrote it properly. Even in a story that's made intentionally retarded, it's still a story at the end of the day.

lol, why thank you zimmzy for that compliment

 

and yes, in all honesty, i saw some good potential at the beginning, but as i read i kept seeing inconsistencies and me being a girl i just picked up on the side of the woman and the fanny side of things..