RATEDR307 Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 Achmed the dead terrorist: "Silence, I kill you!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foolish_Pigeon Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 Definately Frankie Boyle: Ricky Gervais: Jack Dee: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Girish Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 Did anyone mention Woody Allen classics? "Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love ." "A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'." "It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens." "There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?" "Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons." "I failed to make the chess team because of my height." "I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic." "Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions." "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve it through not dying." "I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JayM Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 "Why is it called a Welfare State? Is it cos' it's well fair?" - Ali G "When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me" - Peter Kay "I like the authentic punk dance you did there. It's like a child dizzy off lemonade" - Noel Fielding Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Machida Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 Here's one for Foolish Pigeon. Frankie Boyle on the most Scottish thing he's ever seen.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheRoper Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 Someone brought him up earlier, but Louis C.K. is f*cking hilarious. $$$ MAKE MONEY WITH NEOBUX $$H Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YourNeighborhoodKiller Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 Arnold Schwarzenegger. "But I hope you leave enough room for my fist because I'm going to ram it into your stomach and break your goddamn spine!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darthYENIK Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 Someone brought him up earlier, but Louis C.K. is f*cking hilarious. 95fNgx8aCS8 4u2ZsoYWwJA V5Z_ZducwbQ Yeah, Louis's hilarious. Too bad his HBO show wasn't appreciated for what it was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Star-Lord Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 "Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose." "We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture." "Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs." "Do you think God gets stoned? I think so . . . look at the platypus." "God gave men a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time." "In England, if you commit a crime, the police don't have a gun and you don't have a gun. If you commit a crime, the police will say "Stop, or I'll say stop again."" "We Americans, we're a simple people . . . but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities." "If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days." "Politics: “Poli” a Latin word meaning “many”; and "tics" meaning “bloodsucking creatures”." "People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House." "My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins." "I like my wine like my women -- ready to pass out." "Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." "When in doubt, go for the d*ck joke." Robin Williams Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazlow Chatterbox Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 Dave Hughes- "The windows (OS) was closed and I can't see the naked chicks" Was that just completely taken out of context, so as to not be funny anymore? Dave Hughes is funnier than that. This is what I was referring about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheRoper Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 ^Everything about that clip made my head (and ears) hurt. $$$ MAKE MONEY WITH NEOBUX $$H Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hayden Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 ^Everything about that clip made my head (and ears) hurt. Yeah I agree. Dave Hughes is not funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryuclan Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 Not my fave but one of my fave. Katt Williams and his take on America. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blind Joe Death Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 Bill Hicks is my all time favourite comedian, closely followed by George Carlin. Tough crowd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darthYENIK Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 ^Everything about that clip made my head (and ears) hurt. Yeah, telling a boring story loudly, is not funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
makeshyft Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 Dave Hughes can be funny, but not in that sh*tty segment he does on Rove. Sure, his delivery and voice can be grating at times, but some of the stand-up I have seen him do has been quite funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ste_t_ Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 Achmed the dead terrorist:"Silence, I kill you!" try ' i keel you!' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Mozzarelli 80 Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 you all need to check out Dave Allen... Now he's old school Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rhyn Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 Too many to pick just 1 comedian. I love Richard Pryor, old school Eddie murphy, Bill Bailey, Dylan Moran but my favourite is Billy Connolly I'd have to say at a push. Saw him on his last tour he said had a nice little quote about Ireland. "You know a country's fine when all the people are nuts" SRS Incorporated Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Machida Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 Billy Connolly tours around on a three wheeler motorcycle with the phrase, "To old to die young" printed on his jacket. I can't think of to many comedians that come close him. Seriously old school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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