The world is divided...

[papanesta]

... where do you stand... or sit... or, well, you get the picture.

 

Having thought that sitting down was the way the whole world wiped their collective bum, I was proved entirely wrong one fateful night.

 

It all started with a discussion in work as to which position you selected. This one conversation shattered my perspective of the world. Having always thought that I was doing it the right way, suddenly; there was no right way.

 

I'd like to point out that if your bum is off the seat, you're standing, even if you're just crouching.

[pimp_60cent]

I'm too lazy to do either, so I let my boxers to the wiping for me when I walk around.

[HolyGrenadeFrenzy]

This is a total trap....it is obvious....

 

I stand.

[Digital Murders]

I sit.

 

Depending on the type of sh*t, if you stood up, would it not smear across the cheeks?

 

Just thinking about that feeling makes me shudder. Like pressing play-dough between your hands.

[Tony Mozzarelli 80]

I'm a sitting leaner

[Otter]

Haha, paps is bringing back the classics.

 

 

[papanesta]

 

This is a total trap....it is obvious....

What makes you think it's a trap!? I could not possibly have more of a genuine interest in how you wipe your bum. Honest.

 

@Digital, that's what I thought! Surely people who stand like making life hard for themselves...

 

@Otter, do you wipe it on bark?

[t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m]

Standing up.

 

EDIT: And what about those things that squirt water on your bum?

Edited August 12, 2008 by codyr783

[Otter]

I don't wipe, I just let it build up over the week, then pick off the giant sh*t-scab on friday night before I go clubbing. Leaves with that nice pink anus that drives the ladies wild.

[Reincarnated]

If you're sitting down, how do you get your hands under the toilet?

[papanesta]

If you're sitting down, how do you get your hands under the toilet?

Haha, see, that's one of the questions that was asked by the standers in work!

 

You'll never know unless you try...

[D- Ice]

I don't wipe, I just let it build up over the week, then pick off the giant sh*t-scab on friday night before I go clubbing. Leaves with that nice pink anus that drives the ladies wild.

Hahaha ROFLMAO

[.Up&Coming.]

Huh. I'm completely disgusted, yet compelled to keep reading the responses on this thread.

I never knew people stood...

Who knew?

Edited August 12, 2008 by .Up&Coming.

[Gabriel Constantin]

I stand. It's just easier. Sure, it might spread the mess (so to speak) but you can wipe that off just as easily as you can the rest of it. Sitting down is awkward, firstly you have to get your hand behind your ass in order to get the tissue even close enough to wipe your ass- which leaves you open to a surprise attack from the sh*t on your wrist, then you've got to get the wiping action done efficiently with a twisted hand. Standing just takes the cake. It's the sh*t man.

[Digital Murders]

If you're sitting down, how do you get your hands under the toilet?

You lift a cheek.

 

Anybody still use babywipes? I was at my brothers house and was suprised to see some since he doesn't have kids.

 

I bet you could eat a meal off my brothers ass.

[Gabriel Constantin]

I bet you could eat a meal off my brothers ass.

Now that's an offer I can't refuse!

[Mike Tequeli]

I'm too lazy to do either, so I let my boxers to the wiping for me when I walk around.

Dear Lord I hope you do your own laundry.

 

@ Otter - sh*t I can't stop laughing. sh*tscab should be added to Webster's dictionary.

 

 

[joec1987]

 

I bet you could eat a meal off my brothers ass.

Now that's an offer I can't refuse!

Lol i knew that was coming. back on topic and what a sh*t 1! (see what i did there eh eh? Lol)

 

over and out!

Edited August 12, 2008 by joec1987

[papanesta]

If you're sitting down, how do you get your hands under the toilet?

You lift a cheek.

See, I go from the front.

 

But then again, I like touching my junk at any given opportunity.

[unopescio]

Depends how messy it is TBH.

[CrazeLaze]

THIS is what Official Gang members use their Poll creating abilitys for???

[papanesta]

THIS is what Official Gang members use their Poll creating abilitys for???

Jealous much?

[SHXC]

I stand. Simple as

[Statutory Ray]

If you're sitting down, how do you get your hands under the toilet?

You lift a cheek.

 

Anybody still use babywipes? I was at my brothers house and was suprised to see some since he doesn't have kids.

 

I bet you could eat a meal off my brothers ass.

Flushable wipes are the best invention in the f*cking world. Paper alone just doesn't cut it for some messes, you have to break out the wipes and rub in both directions like a madman to get your pooper clean.

 

If you doubt the power of the wipes, wipe with paper until you think you're clean, then 10 minutes later come back with the wipes and you'll be surprised at the amount of brown you've missed.

[.Up&Coming.]

^ Now that is a reason that Gen Chat has gone to hell.

Oh, and I still rest my case on sitting. It's the way to go.

[TubbyJ]

You sitters are f*cked in the head. They're is no technique known to man more logical than standing when wiping one's ass.

[Saggy]

Well, here's a story about how I discovered people stand...

 

I was about 16, and I was staying over at a friend's. He was downloading tons of pron off of Morpheus, and every once in a while he'd give me that, "Oh, dude, look at this..." face.

 

Well, I looked over, and it was one of those voyeurism pee videos, and I saw a woman standing to wipe herself. I say, "Pfft, this is fake, they have her standing so you can see it and everything," which of course prompted him to say, "What are you talking about, don't you stand when you wipe?"

 

 

How you managed to have this discussion casually escapes me, but at I'll admit how it first occurred to me.

 

 

Anyway, for me, it all depends on the toilet. Sometimes when the water level is too high, you can't sit, otherwise your hands will get in the toilet water. Other times the damn stall is too tight to even hope to stand. Plus, I'm a big man, so sometimes I can't even manage to sit on the toilet, and have to do everything standing.

 

 

Here's the big question though...

 

Back to front, or front to back?

 

Oh also, I'll vouch for baby-wipes. When there's a real mess to be cleaned, toilet paper just rubs me raw. That ain't fun. I pretty much make sure I have some before I have any Taco Bell, if you know what I'm saying.

Edited August 12, 2008 by SagaciousKJB

[Statutory Ray]

 

^ Now that is a reason that Gen Chat has gone to hell.

You've been here a year, made almost 6,000 posts, and are complaining about Gen Chat "going to hell?"

 

Go outside, man.

 

 

Back to front, or front to back?

Front to back, unless you want your balls smelling like sh*t.

Edited August 12, 2008 by Statutory Ray

[Saggy]

^ Now that is a reason that Gen Chat has gone to hell.

 

You've been here a year, made almost 6,000 posts, and are complaining about Gen Chat "going to hell?"

 

Go outside, man.

 

<!--QuoteBegin-SagaciousKJB+Aug 11 2008, 21:28

Quote Post --><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (SagaciousKJB @ Aug 11 2008, 21:28

Quote Post )</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Back to front, or front to back?

Front to back, unless you want your balls smelling like sh*t.

Wait, you don't wipe your balls down too?

 

 

Man, this topic is blowing my concept of reality minute by minute.

[.Up&Coming.]

 

You've been here a year, made almost 6,000 posts, and are complaining about Gen Chat "going to hell?"

 

Go outside, man.

 

 

Female, actually.

 

And I do..every day.

I've been here longer than a year. I just never bothered making an account.