Rush

[GTABlaze]

*Something I wrote on the plane back from Spain a few weeks back*

 

 

 

Bass issuing from the speakers pounded in my ears as my car roared through the quiet city streets, leaving polluted smoke for the trio attempting to catch up. Gripping the handbrake, I practically glided around the corner, creating a loud screeching noise and producing black marks across the road. I pushed up on the gearstick and increased the pressure on the pedal, straining the CPU. The rising sound of engine power, that was growing closer told me the opposition was not far behind. As I glanced out of the window to the wing mirror, I saw the sleek, blood red coupe blitz across the tarmac and arrive next to me. Looking out of the tinted glass, I saw his dark yet handsome face grin cockily, as he triggered the Nitrous injection. He became a blur that overtook me. I increased mass on the pedal and started to catch up to him. The white hot flames, hued blue issued from his exhaust started to melt the spokes of my wheels. I floored it as I pulled down the latch on the dashboard, revealing a small switch. Flicking it, I heard a spray come from the boot and knew it was time. Gripping the steering wheel with my sweaty hands, I pushed the red button. A great roar erupted from the engine, and I was forced back due to the power of the car. I tried to look at the speedometer, but the car was shaking so much everything was blurred. Slowly and steadily, rows of cars appeared at either side of me, and I pressed all my weight down on the pedal. Sparing a glance at the speedo, I saw that I had clocked 200, and was approaching 210. I saw the glowing lights which indicated the finish line. I held onto the steering wheel, and slammed my foot on the brake. I kept my hand steady and slid over the line at a 90 degree angle. I pulled down on the handbrake, and stopped as cheers came through the window.

[Struff Bunstridge]

Nicely written. Some really good descriptive work going on here mate. I'd take issue with this sentence:

 

 

The white hot flames, hued blue issued from his exhaust started to melt the spokes of my wheels.

 

...as it doesn't really seem to make sense, at least not to me. Firstly, I think maybe the two different colours at the start confuses things. Also, I think you may be missing some punctuation, and possibly the word 'and'. Would this work better?

 

 

The roaring flames, hued blue, issued from his exhaust, and started to melt the spokes of my wheels.

 

I liked it otherwise though; I'm enjoying all the short pieces recently, as I'm a huge fan of them in general, and they're something I can whizz through and enjoy a quick fix!

[Mrdeanop2]

I enjoyed that small piece.

 

I only didn't understand the white and hued blue part. Other than that is is very descriptive and interesting.

Maybe you should start your own story? you have the skills.

[GTABlaze]

Well, white hot describes...when something would really burn, and when Nitrous is injected into the cars system, it emits a blue colour.

 

I might make a story, I don't know.