Justice Brain

[GrandtheftAwesome]

It was 1989. The Irish mob was at its finest. In the horrid streets of Boston, Patrick Gibbons stayed at St. Kevin's Asylum. Patrick was once the greatest gangster Boston has ever seen, but now he has gone crazy. Cocaine has triggered odd symptoms in his behavior. He became a klepto-maniac, insomniac, paranoid drug abuser with vertigo. He would act stranger and stranger.

 

On September 5, 1992, Inspector Danny Long was chasing a gangster threw the streets of the Southie Projects. "Get back here! Freeze!" Long yelled firing in the air. He cornered the gangster in a gritty, alley. "You have the right to remain..." Danny's statement was interrupted when the gangster threw a canister of gasoline at his face and jumped over a wall behind him. Long was breifly blinded. He slipped on a puddle and fell.

Back at the precinct, Danny walked in to find his partner Inspector Larry King eating a club sandwich at Danny's desk. "Woah, what happened to your face?" King bit into his club covering his face in mayo. "Rotello, he's demented, he threw gas at my face. I'm no psych or anything but he's acting weird and all his victims have been killed cleverly." Danny lit a smoke. "Finish your lunch outside" Danny called as the two walked to the parking lot.

 

Danny began to smoke his cigarette as Larry tossed him a coke. "You know, when I was a rookie, some crime guy had a similar case" Danny talked through his smoke. "What was his name?" Larry sipped his soda as lettuce dropped from the corner of his mouth. "Gibbons" Danny answered stomping his cigarette. "Let's check him on the computer. See what he's doing".

 

In his room, shuddered in a corner, covered by his rough white blanket. It gently scraped Patrick's skin. Suddenly the nurse walked in. "Time for your meds hon" she called holding a small cup of water. Patrick's legs were lanky and he hadn't eaten in days. He gulped the pills and water down fast. "There's a visitor for ya at the waiting area" she said. Patrick nodded.

His whole life he ran from the cops, he didn't know he was about to spend his time helping them.

[TheJonesy]

I hope you go into more detail about this crazy guy's condition. Anyways, I'll stay tuned since I'm a psychological-thriller kind of guy. I'm interested in this "gangsters meet psychos" piece.

 

It wouldn't hurt to space out dialogue rather than to jumble it into a paragraph; may help in the future.