Stefan. Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 First time I got a blow-job was in my freshman year of high school. I was at home with my sister and a bunch of her friends came by for dancing practice. Seeing all the girls dancing and jumping and splitting made me so horny so I went to my room. I laid down on my bed with my legs hanging out on the side of the bed, put on my headphones. Then I pulled my dick out closed my eyes and started jerking off. All the sudden I felt a wet, warm and moist sensation of someone's mouth on my cockhead. I opened my eyes and lifted my head up to see a smiling face of Liz, my sister's friend. Liz had my cock head in her lovely mouth with her soft tongue circling around it, her long straight blonde hair hanging down brushing my balls. She then pulled my hand off and grabbed my swollen dick with her hand then sucked me harder and bopped her head up and down furiously. I was in heaven as my dick grew bigger and bigger in her mouth. Liz make a slurping noise as she inhaled my swollen cock driving me to the edge very quickly. I grabbed the silky hair and lifted my hips up to sink my cock deeper in her throat and shot a long stream of cum in to her mouth. Liz pulled my cock out and pumped the rest of my cum in to her open mouth, sucking me dry. Liz got up as I collapsed back on the bed and said "Next time make sure you close your door tight, okay" then give me a smile and left the room. I found this when I was looking at some of the really old topics. I have to say, I f*cking pissed myself. And the way it's written... Hilarious. I never get any. Is my mum giving me a blow-job or something? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dills Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 First time I got a blow-job was in my freshman year of high school. I was at home with my sister and a bunch of her friends came by for dancing practice. Seeing all the girls dancing and jumping and splitting made me so horny so I went to my room. I laid down on my bed with my legs hanging out on the side of the bed, put on my headphones. Then I pulled my dick out closed my eyes and started jerking off. All the sudden I felt a wet, warm and moist sensation of someone's mouth on my cockhead. I opened my eyes and lifted my head up to see a smiling face of Liz, my sister's friend. Liz had my cock head in her lovely mouth with her soft tongue circling around it, her long straight blonde hair hanging down brushing my balls. She then pulled my hand off and grabbed my swollen dick with her hand then sucked me harder and bopped her head up and down furiously. I was in heaven as my dick grew bigger and bigger in her mouth. Liz make a slurping noise as she inhaled my swollen cock driving me to the edge very quickly. I grabbed the silky hair and lifted my hips up to sink my cock deeper in her throat and shot a long stream of cum in to her mouth. Liz pulled my cock out and pumped the rest of my cum in to her open mouth, sucking me dry. Liz got up as I collapsed back on the bed and said "Next time make sure you close your door tight, okay" then give me a smile and left the room. I found this when I was looking at some of the really old topics. I have to say, I f*cking pissed myself. And the way it's written... Hilarious. I can't get it. Is his mum giving him a blow-job or something? Can you not read? - "see a smiling face of Liz, my sister's friend." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stefan. Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Is 'Liz' some slang word for something? I've never heard it mentioned before, sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robinski Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 nah, it's a name mate, usually short for Elizabeth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dills Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Is 'Liz' some slang word for something? I've never heard it mentioned before, sorry. Ah, that explains it, it's a girls name as mentioned by the guy above me. You must be a bit odd to jump to the conclusion that he was getting a blow job off his mum though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stefan. Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Cool. I still don't get how it's funny though. Is the punchline him being told that he should lock the room or... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
!!GC!! Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 For goodness sakes, Stefan. I thought you pride yourself on how ridiculously intelligent you are. Not that smart from what i see.... Also, All the sudden I felt a wet, warm and moist Isn't Wet and Moist the same thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Struff Bunstridge Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Has the world gone mad? Who doesn't know that Liz is a girl's name? And it's not a joke, there is no punchline. It's just a story about a guy getting a blowjob. What a slut Liz must be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
makeshyft Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Hmm... I got the impression that Stefan was taking the piss a little, and merely playing the part of an ignorant bystander as greebo-man claimed the story was a hilarious romp, when in reality it wasn't. I could be wrong, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
!!GC!! Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Hmm... I got the impression that Stefan was taking the piss a little, and merely playing the part of an ignorant bystander as greebo-man claimed the story was a hilarious romp, when in reality it wasn't. I could be wrong, though. If so, it was played very terribly and took to far. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guybrush Threepwood Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 I never get any. Is my mum giving me a blow-job or something? You've got a sick mind son. But yeah, it was your mum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Struff Bunstridge Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 ..the f*ck? Did someone just edit Stefan's post? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hayden Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 ..the f*ck? Did someone just edit Stefan's post? I'm pretty sure Stefan said, "I don't get it. Is his mum giving him a blow job?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greebo-man Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 ...I just thought the way it was written was pretty funny. like out of a porno or something. And hah at Stefan's edited post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deuce Deuce Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 ..the f*ck? Did someone just edit Stefan's post? I'm pretty sure Stefan said, "I don't get it. Is his mum giving him a blow job?" He did, 'cause dills quoted it. Unless he manually changed the quote, which wouldn't make sense. How odd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H4milton Posted July 30, 2008 Author Share Posted July 30, 2008 .....so Where are the quotes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Girish Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Where are the quotes? ¢αυѕє ωιтнσυт уσυя ℓσνє му ℓιƒє αιη'т ησтнιηg вυт тнιѕ ¢αяηιναℓ σƒ яυѕт There ya go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
!!GC!! Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 I never get any. Is my mum giving me a blow-job or something? You've got a sick mind son. But yeah, it was your mum. One of the funniest things in this topic. This (^) is the quote i contributed to the topic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lochie_old Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Is 'Liz' some slang word for something? I've never heard it mentioned before, sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bartleby Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 "It depends upon what the meaning of the word 'is' is." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D- Ice Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 (edited) "Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do." "Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder" Edited July 31, 2008 by D- Ice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tuff_luv_capo Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 MANNY! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D- Ice Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 "I've coined new words like, misunderstanding and Hispanically." "The California crunch really is the result of not enough power-generating plants and then not enough power to power the power of generating plants." His great quote make him an awsome president - but the same can't be said about his foriegn policies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vanilla Shake Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 I'm many things, yeah I'm a convicted rapist, I-I-I'm a hellraiser, I'm a father, a loving father, I'm a, I'm a y'know I'm a semi-good husband, y'know what I mean?....WHAT!? TC718 / <629 / CF5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronnyboy Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Lazlow Show listener? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vanilla Shake Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 (edited) Lazlow Show listener? Hell f*cking yes. EDIT: Whether if anybody in the United Kingdom likes it or doesn't like it, the United Kingdom is my destiny! Edited July 31, 2008 by Vanilla Shake TC718 / <629 / CF5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hayden Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Is 'Liz' some slang word for something? I've never heard it mentioned before, sorry. Excellent. "These are my friends, see how they glisten, see this one shine how he smiles in the light my friend! My faithful friend!" - Sweeney Todd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bartleby Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 "Real men wear kilts." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oblivionz Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 "I am not a nugget!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
outcest Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 THE PLEASURE WAS ALL YOURS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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