Jump to content

The Croke Report


Crokey

Recommended Posts

 

Tonight, on a Special Independence Day Address to the Nation

 

Goggleboxing

Google face handing over our viewing habits to Viacom, what next Google? Handing over our favorite porn sites to Chris Hansen

 

Guess What?

We find out what the number 1 threat to GTAForums is... and it's not Slamman

 

Aretha Franklin

We also find out who made the shortlist for the Most Respect due from The Croke Report... If you're not on it, you obviously didn't offer enough Cheesecake

 

National Hell-th Service

And Finally we have a Special Annoucement for all those interested in the field of Medicine... Yes that's right Nation, I'm getting Cloned

 

 

Suck on that Video Viacom

 

Yes Nation it's the six thousandth edition of The Croke Report

 

WHOOOO!!!

 

I made it, I made 6 thousand posts

 

WHOOOO!!!

 

It came to light today when I was discussing with myself how many post I'd made on this forum and it turned out I had made as much as I thought, I could have sworn it was about 1 million, but I didn't know as it was writing, which as you know is in books which are full of lies anyway. But it turns out I only have six thousand... six thousand?!?, all these years and I've only got six thousand...

 

A US court decided that Google should hand over all it's viewing habits of its recently acquired site YouTube to the media firm Viacom, obviously they want to see how many time people have watched that video of a

. But apparently its so they can see if more people are watching film trailers on YouTube than through their sites... even if we are think about it we are saving them valuable bandwidth and costs, we are saving them money by going to sites like YouTube. There was something about watching copyrighted material but the squirrel was unavailable for comment

 

We'll be right back after this

 

 

 

Welcome Back, it's time for The Threat Down

 

5

 

In at 5 in the Threat Down - Bears. Yes Bears have been invading GTAForums, but they won't be going by their real names, some of those involved have already been found out and some have gone into hibernation. Those found out have been Opius (Rare Australian Mountain Bear), Raindancer (Panda - London Zoo), DexX (Mongolian Winged Bear) and GTA3Freak2001 (The High Post Bear). But still, Nation be on your guard these Bears are still around.

 

4

 

In at 4, SHOUTING. Namely Big Shoutouts, it's come to my attention that some people require a large shout out, and not those ticking off shouts I mean a Big Croke Report pat on the back shout. Gangsta Killa, Dup, Ducati996, Cowpat, Illspirit, Tank, vALKYR, Flash Caz, Otter, Craig Kostelecky, Isara, Man in Pink Bunny Suit and odie have already been given wide thanks before, but I also want to salute the new heroes of the Nation, CharmingCharlie, Saget and anuj, for reason they can see if they buy my new book 'I am The Croke Report and So Can You'. But why is this a threat when they've done so good, well they're a threat to those leet-speakers, the txtophiles or those people around here who type in n00b-HD... be warned nublets they are out to get you!!.

 

3

 

BEARS! Or should I say, Ninja Bears, namely this one

user posted image

It has been practicing being a Ninja so it can use it's powers to slowly take over the world, one Country at a time and it has to be stopped. So The US Senate and The Houses of Parliament as well as the EU have been hatching a plan to breed poisonous Salmon to catch them out, God Speed Salmon and serve us well.

 

2

 

Anti War and Sports Protestors. They have been threat to the Nation for some time now and some have already taken out the army of Pwn*'s, although they had escaped to the Los Angles underground, becoming soldiers of Fortune, although if you have a problem and you can find them, then you can hire... The Footy Desk Regulars.

 

1

 

And the number 1 threat to the Nation.... BEARS!!! namely two bears which have been elusive but still exist they are known as Demerest (Kodiak), peachy (Koala).

 

We'll be Right back everybody

 

 

 

Welcome Back, now time for some Medical news

 

National HELL-th Service

 

The National Health Service recently in the UK reached 60 years of service, but the service in under threat from rising costs of drugs and people wanting to wait 4 hours to see a Doctor to get a plaster for a paper cut. But thanks to our sponsor Zaibatsu Pharmaceuticals, they have come up with a brand new wonder drug which will cure almost anything.

 

It's called Zeeproxipropiline, ingredients include: *gta star*iline, maddogiumXL Alfrescocide, Baptizium, Bradilum, CAN O X A, C., Co-D, Darkiliam12, DayV, Dupernoodilium2, EZTie Germacide, ED280, Emporium, Flickosium3, Funk3hChun Ki, Smalluis G, Gran DT HFTR, Soylent Greene, LeChookMon Ki, iR (low ding), JC69, anti Junkie material, Kipper Liver Oil, Nifeoxide, MDG03, NemEZ, NIK PaPaG8G0, OG™, Otter Kidney Oil, Outcastium, Panda Oil, Parkezium, Picolium1, Platinum shavings, R0b., S.E.D. 0, T.0.C. RLB, Chook, TeaDee, TPM SWEp1, TruTHE pnts, U.N.I., Vanilla Shakings, VAN zAnt Extract, Spider Venom, VINxL, MMM3, WAD3, MarrK, Br0D4N, STM69, DTLRD

 

Side Effects include: Induced Convulsions, Roffling, Awesomeness and on rare occasions Anal Seepage and Rectal Spasms

 

Results not tested by the General Medical Council or the RSPCA.

 

This has been the six thousandth edition The Croke Report

 

Goodnight, and Good Luck

And have great Independence Day

Edited by Gareth Croke

wZVJHXg.png

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Congrats you odd yet sexy Celtic American

 

user posted image

oldschoolsigs49.png
Link to comment
Share on other sites

LMAO.

 

I love you Gareth. inlove.gif

 

Congratulations you sexy bastard. RAWR

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Struff Bunstridge

Probably the most in-depth milestone post I've ever seen. Congratulations man, happy Independence Day. I work for an American-owned company in the UK, and we got a dress-down party day at the office because of ID, so...yeah, thanks!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Adam Jensen

Congrats cookie.gif

Best milestone ever. A lot of effort put into it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

YEEEEEEEEEHAWWWWWWWWWWWW!

 

Congrats Mr Jackson. icon14.gif

 

user posted image

ph34r.gif

Edited by flicko
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Congrats on the milestone and keep the reports coming Gareth. icon14.gif

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What bollocks is this? Something about bears and Urethra Franklin?

 

Congratulations either way. inlove.gif

user posted image
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Vanilla Shake

Gareth Croke rawks my sawks.

 

Also, AVATAR STEeLER!!!1!!

TC718 / <629 / CF5

NGEh8XV.png

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So wait, you don't pronounce the "ke" in Croke?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Now I feel pretty bad about missing the previous reports. sad.gif

 

Anyways, congrats, Gareth! smile.gif

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Classic. This is one of the best milestone threads ever.

 

Take note, people.

 

Congrats.

vbSWr1A.gif


Link to comment
Share on other sites

That was a legendary milestone. Congrats Gareth. Nice to see a proper milestone and from a member who deserves it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Taste Of Chaos

That is f*cking perfection.

 

Grats mate!

Opportunity knocks once in a lifetime, temptation will lean on the doorbell.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

heh, great milestone topic. Remember our 2000th post milestone a kazillion years ago? biggrin.gif

 

All the best and congrats wink.gif

8jjZhSV.jpg

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Congratulations on the 6k icon14.gif

 

Despite your choice in football team it has been a pleasure reading your thoughts and comments in the footy desk over the years, as has it’s been on the forums in general. One of the few with any real intelligence and this brilliantly laid out topic is proof of that. Keep up the great work my friend, much respect.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Suction Testicle Man
user posted image

If at first you don't succeed, you fail, and the test will be terminated.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

pimp_60cent

Congrats, we've had great conversations in the Wrestling Topic. Happy 6k, and awesome post. smile.gif

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Now that's what I call a worthwhile milestone topic...if they exist.

 

Nicely done matey, here's to another report biggrin.gif

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Congrats on your milestone Gareth.

 

Awesome read.

 

inlove.gif

s0h607k.jpg

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wow this has to be the most interesting Milestone Topic ever created!.Congrats Mr.Croke.

 

-----

I am Lega-c and I approved this message

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Mainland Marauder

A very creative 6,000th post. Congratulations, Mr. Croke. icon14.gif

"You tell me exactly what you want, and I'll explain to you very carefully why it cannot be."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • 1 User Currently Viewing
    0 members, 0 Anonymous, 1 Guest

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using GTAForums.com, you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.