Protonkid Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 We post random jokes here to make our lives longer Just don't post anything conflicting to the rules. On the previous gay parade there were: 20 gays, 2 lesbians, 300 by-passers and 500 S.W.A.T. members. So who's parade it was, heh? "Kids, lets discuss who do we want to be in the future? Kate?" "I wanna be a dentist!" "Good, George?" "I wanna be a president!" "Bush, stop your dreams, sit down." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doink Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 http://www.gtaforums.com/index.php?showtop...st=520&hl=Jokes Although, it might be time to start a fresh topic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Protonkid Posted June 4, 2008 Author Share Posted June 4, 2008 (edited) Yeah... that is damn old One hobo brings a dead bunny. "Where did you get it?" "I killed it with a boomerang." "And where did you get a boomerang?" "There, under the boiler." "If you touch my socks again, I will break your blanket!" Edited June 4, 2008 by Protonkid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doink Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 (edited) Meh, it's not that old. From the last post, it's only been a few weeks since anyones posted in it. I could almost swear that you and Eeshan are the same people, judging by the jokes. Here's my corny joke: Why was the rooster so unhappy? Because he only got laid once and it was by his mother. .... :B Edited June 4, 2008 by Doink Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Picolini Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Yeah... that is damn old Damn old? It's less than a month old. Here's a joke. Why did the chicken f*cker cross the road? He was f*cking the chicken. Baaaaa-zing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Protonkid Posted June 4, 2008 Author Share Posted June 4, 2008 (edited) You know, 1 week old topic is already old. Their life span is short A bunny was f*cking with everyone in the forest, so the animals hired a T-Rex to f*ck the bunny himself. So the T-Rex meets the bunny. The bunny shakes like a leaf. "Are you scared?" Roared the Rex. "Scared, I haven't f*cked anyone as ugly as you are before!" Edited June 4, 2008 by Protonkid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hodgey. Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 You know, 1 week old topic is already old. Their life span is short A bunny was f*cking with everyone in the forest, so the animals hired a T-Rex to f*ck the bunny himself. So the T-Rex meets the bunny. The bunny shakes like a leaf. "Are you scared?" Roared the Rex. "Scared, I haven't f*cked anyone as ugly as you are before!" Ok that one isnt to bad, but the other two arrgghh kinda head them before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bartleby Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Protonkid, those jokes really are terrible. A baby seal walks into a club. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Protonkid Posted June 4, 2008 Author Share Posted June 4, 2008 Protonkid, those jokes really are terrible. A baby seal walks into a club. I don't get it. Both, the point and the joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie280 Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 These jokes are terrible but not in the fun way Eeshan's jokes were terrible. Please just bump the older topic instead of starting this one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Creed Bratton Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Protonkid, those jokes really are terrible. A baby seal walks into a club. I don't get it. Both, the point and the joke. Club Although, I might be wrong too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Struff Bunstridge Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 I don't see how this'll be any less sh*t than the last one. A preist, a rabbi and a nun walk into a bar. The barman looks up, and shouts angrily, "What is this, some kind of joke?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H4milton Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Protonkid, those jokes really are terrible. A baby seal walks into a club. I don't get it. Both, the point and the joke. He meant that your jokes are terrible, So are mine, but not all of them, my joke about 2 frnds in the exam hall was the best. You may post in my topic too, and it is only a month old my jokes. some of them are terrible because most of the jokes are in my language and it is hard to translate them into English. thats why. Some one lok it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ricardomun Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 A sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophile, a zoophile and a pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution. "Let's have sex with a cat?" asked the zoophile. "Let's have sex with the cat and then torture it," says the sadist. "Let's have sex with the cat, torture it and then kill it," shouted the murderer. "Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it and then have sex with it again," said the necrophile. "Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again and then burn it," said the pyromaniac. There was silence, and then the masochist said: "Meow." I had to search for it,I knew it before tough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperVeloce Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 There are 2 nuns in a car, when this great big scary vampire jumps out onto the road. One Nun says to the other: Show him your cross! So, the Nun opens the window, leans out and shouts: Get out the stupid road you idioit! Lol i saw it on Vicar of Dibley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[MenaceMovies] Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Your moma's so fat, she uses Google Earth to create her passport photo. Your moma's so stupid, she sold her car for gas money. You can't go wrong with Yo' Moma jokes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vercetti21 Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 ' date='Jun 4 2008, 19:01'] You can't go wrong with Yo' Moma jokes. There's a first time for everything. --- A man is involved in a car accident and is taken to the hospital. While in recovery, his wife comes to visit him. As he is sleeping one night, the wife quietly leaves the room to roam around the halls and get some fresh air. She passes by a patient's room to see that he is masterbating. Angered, she storms up to a doctor. "What the hell is this kind of place?" she askes, frustrated. "I just passed by that room to see that patient masterbating. This hosptial is so unprofessional!" "Ma'am," the doctor reassures her, "that patient has a rare condition in which his body produces six times as much sperm as the average male. He has to masterbate frequently in order to sustain his bodily fluids." "Oh," the woman sighs, "well, I suppose that's fine." Satisfied, she continues her walk down the hall when, not just three rooms down from the masterbating patient, she finds that another patient is receiving a blowjob from a nurse. The woman storms over to the doctor again, furiated. "Alright, how do you explain that!?" The doctor smiles, and shake his head. "Same condition. Better healthcare." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheRoper Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 ^That's good. And God said unto Abraham, "Come forth, and I shall give you eternal life!" But he got there fifth, so he won a toaster. $$$ MAKE MONEY WITH NEOBUX $$H Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kewfmwpj Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Disclaimer: This joke does not show my beliefs of the Austrian nation. Whats the population of Austria? Twice as much as you think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Struff Bunstridge Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 On that subject, what's the problem with this "evil" Jozef Fritzl, anyway? If memory serves correctly, the last time an Austrian hid his young lover and seven children from the authorities, the story was turned into the most beloved and successful film musical ever. People are so fickle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheRoper Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Why are pirates pirates..? Because they Arrrrrrrrrr. No but seriously, did you guys hear about that new pirate movie coming out..? It's rated Arrrrrrrrrr. $$$ MAKE MONEY WITH NEOBUX $$H Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhoda Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 A Jewish man, Santa Claus, a blonde woman, a dog, a nun, Jesus and a drunk all walk into a bar. The barman stops them all and shouts "woah woah woah... what is this, some kind of joke?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Struff Bunstridge Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 A Jewish man, Santa Claus, a blonde woman, a dog, a nun, Jesus and a drunk all walk into a bar. The barman stops them all and shouts "woah woah woah... what is this, some kind of joke?" Posted: Jun 4 2008, 13:28 I don't see how this'll be any less sh*t than the last one. A preist, a rabbi and a nun walk into a bar. The barman looks up, and shouts angrily, "What is this, some kind of joke?" Sorry dude. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aurlito Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 ,Jun 4 2008, 19:01] You can't go wrong with Yo' Moma jokes. There's a first time for everything. --- A man is involved in a car accident and is taken to the hospital. While in recovery, his wife comes to visit him. As he is sleeping one night, the wife quietly leaves the room to roam around the halls and get some fresh air. She passes by a patient's room to see that he is masterbating. Angered, she storms up to a doctor. "What the hell is this kind of place?" she askes, frustrated. "I just passed by that room to see that patient masterbating. This hosptial is so unprofessional!" "Ma'am," the doctor reassures her, "that patient has a rare condition in which his body produces six times as much sperm as the average male. He has to masterbate frequently in order to sustain his bodily fluids." "Oh," the woman sighs, "well, I suppose that's fine." Satisfied, she continues her walk down the hall when, not just three rooms down from the masterbating patient, she finds that another patient is receiving a blowjob from a nurse. The woman storms over to the doctor again, furiated. "Alright, how do you explain that!?" The doctor smiles, and shake his head. "Same condition. Better healthcare." I heard that, but instead of Wmen it was Queen Elizabet. -- I don't think you'll find these funny, but i'll post: 1- Husband: Get those french condoms from my closet. they're better than this. Wife: hey Wait you told me to keep them for your superior. 2- Two Tribes in western Africa had fought against each other for a long time. some day an English man travels there and when he finds them suffering from tribal wars, asks them their reason for fighting. one tribian answers: "we says that river is ours, they says river belong us" English suggests: why don't you border the river with a rope? the eastern side for you, western side for them. Both of Traibes accept this offer and border river with rope. Next night, Englishman says: may that tribe move the rope for making their share much more. better check it out now. man goes to river and see the enemy tribe with fourty buckets on river, filling buckets with water from other side and throw it into their own side. 3- a father finds his son near the brothel. blames him: do you like to see someone f*cking your own sister? son answers: if she liked to have a sex i would never come through brothel again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhoda Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Awww crap, that's what I get for assuming. Assumption is the mother of all f*ck ups. Nevermind, eh? 1. If Moms have Mothers Day, and Fathers have Fathers Day. What do Single guys have? Palm Sunday 2. What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies? A bingo machine. 3. For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven. "You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "That I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want." And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life. The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces. "You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking at them. Grinning even more widely the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I'll sh*t on its head." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Struff Bunstridge Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Brother, mother, any other sucker. What's stiff, pink, eight inches long, and makes women scream? Cot death. - What's red and rapes babies? Me in my lucky red suit. - What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis. That's all the colour/double entendre jokes I can think of for now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhoda Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 This topic reminds me, I had a sick and tasteless joke book knocking around somewhere, I think my ex still has it. Crap. What's black and loud? Stevie Wonder answering the iron. What's black and louder? They called back. Not racist by the way, just commenting on the fact he's blind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Struff Bunstridge Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Which reminds me, have you seen that guy's house? No, neither has he. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhoda Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 His house his nice though, on a serious note. It's a terrible shame when he and Mrs. Wonder fall out, she moves all the furniture around to confuse the poor bastard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Struff Bunstridge Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 And he always loses Hide And Seek. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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