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Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas Stories

The Unvirginiser

By The Unvirginiser,
in Writers' Discussion

 Share

How would you like the story to end ?  

44 members have voted

  1. 1. How would you like the story to end ?

    • Ending One
      7
    • Ending Two
      11
    • Ending Three
      11

Recommended Posts

The Unvirginiser

The Unvirginiser

Posted
  • Author
Posted

So what did we think of the last mission? A good way to kill of an antagonist? Major gunfight across an entire town?

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TomVDC

TomVDC

Posted
Posted

Ow man, I just found this and is very very good.

Nice, the guy has a super strong gun and Devil kills him with a brick and a knife.

Superb!

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The Unvirginiser

The Unvirginiser

Posted
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Posted
Ow man, I just found this and is very very good.

Nice, the guy has a super strong gun and Devil kills him with a brick and a knife.

Superb!

Thank you icon14.gif

You'll be glad to know that Pete Vance will make an appearence in this tounge.gif

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TomVDC

TomVDC

Posted
Posted

Lol, how can I care i'm dead. tounge.gif

Just a stupid name that i tought of in my VCS loving days.

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Danni

Danni

Posted
Posted (edited)

That's why I changed my name from Danny Phoenix to just Danni.

Edited by Danni
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The Unvirginiser

The Unvirginiser

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

 

 

Cut Scene

 

Billy walks slowly through Las Payadas with his AK, blood, fire and bodies are everywhere. A British gangster lies on the floor, ridden with bullets, still alive and struggling to breathe.

Billy aims the gun at him.

 

Billy: You see what happens? Your going to die now... here in the desert, surronded by your slaughtered friends, miles away from home

Gangster: Please… please!

Billy: Look at this bullsh*t! All your friends…dead! All your family back in England, all going to be heart broken because you made the stupid f*cking mistake to come and try and murder three people who didn’t want to let you win a f*cking boxing match!

Gangster: I’m sorry mate, I’m really sorry.

Billy: I’m not your mate… I’m not your friend or your buddy, I’m your total stranger.

 

The gangster looks up, frozen in fear. The camera flicks to Billy, he has tears in his eyes.

 

Billy: There’s no help for you and me is there?

Gangster: What?

Billy: People like you and me, who can’t make an honest living… I’ve killed people for money, killed people to get what I want. There’s nothing else I can do. You know were all gonna’ burn in hell don’t you?

Gangster: It’s all I know…

Billy: Yeah... and look at you know…

 

Billy sits down next to the critically wounded man

 

Billy: What have you achieved in your life? What’s your kill count? How much money you made… how much blood is on your hands?

Gangster: I don’t know… I’ve led a horrible life mate

Billy: Look over there

 

The camera cuts to Dessie’s dead body

 

Billy: There’s your boss, your life you’ve followed him, doing his dirty work, look at him now.

Gangster: My family…

Billy: What?

Gangster: You said my family would miss me? They wouldn’t… I don’t have much family, and even they wont miss me..

Billy: My family nearly died today.. I saved their lives…

 

The camera cuts back to Billy, soft piano music plays in the background

 

Billy: Want to know why they nearly died?

 

The camera cuts to a close up of the man’s face.

 

Billy: You already know don’t you…

Gangster: I’m sorry..

Billy: For what?

Gangster: I.. uh.. Look mate, I’m sorry, I’m sorry for everything that’s happened…

 

Craig: Billy!

 

Craig is limping over, with a semi-conscious Madden leaning on him.

 

Craig: C’mon, let’s go…

Billy: Wait… one last thing I have to do…

 

Billy puts the AK to the gangster’s head.

 

Craig; Billy.. No… look around, there been too much blood spilt today, just leave it.

 

The sound of police sirens can be heard

 

Craig: Devil… were leaving!

 

Billy looks down at the gangster on the floor, who has his eyes closed tightly shut.

 

Billy: You take care

 

 

The camera zooms out from the British gangster until we see all of Las Payadas from an aerial view.

A car with Craig Madden and Billy pulls away, back towards Venturas… the sound of police sirens can still be heard.

 

 

Edited by The Unvirginiser
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The Unvirginiser

The Unvirginiser

Posted
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Posted
Nice Aliens reference.

What aliens reference?

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sick-vice

sick-vice

Posted
Posted

 

Craig: Devil… were leaving!

 

If its not a reference then i am sorry.

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The Unvirginiser

The Unvirginiser

Posted
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Posted

Craig: Devil… were leaving!

 

If its not a reference then i am sorry.

Don't be sorry tounge.gif Only just spotted it myself, love that film! Reminds me of Captain Price in COD4..

"On your feet soldier! We are leaving!"

 

So apart from the reference comment? Any feedback that's helpful? Did you like the chapter? I tried doing things a bit different and making it a bit emotional to help connect with the characters inlove.gif

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sick-vice

sick-vice

Posted
Posted

Craig: Devil… were leaving!

 

If its not a reference then i am sorry.

Don't be sorry tounge.gif Only just spotted it myself, love that film! Reminds me of Captain Price in COD4..

"On your feet soldier! We are leaving!"

 

So apart from the reference comment? Any feedback that's helpful? Did you like the chapter? I tried doing things a bit different and making it a bit emotional to help connect with the characters inlove.gif

Thats a good thing!

i liked the conversation that devil and the brit had.It was not cliché if you know what i mean.

 

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The Unvirginiser

The Unvirginiser

Posted
  • Author
Posted

 

Craig: Devil… were leaving!

 

If its not a reference then i am sorry.

Don't be sorry tounge.gif Only just spotted it myself, love that film! Reminds me of Captain Price in COD4..

"On your feet soldier! We are leaving!"

 

So apart from the reference comment? Any feedback that's helpful? Did you like the chapter? I tried doing things a bit different and making it a bit emotional to help connect with the characters inlove.gif

Thats a good thing!

i liked the conversation that devil and the brit had.It was not cliché if you know what i mean.

Yeah, I'm very proud that this script will have a unique style when it comes to certain aspects, paticually later in the story.

As much as I love San Fierro stories, I'm glad to say mine is very different and not in the classic GTA style, more like a movie, but you play a lot out as if it were a game..

Next chapter coming soon

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Oxidizer

Oxidizer

Posted
Posted

Very good change from the action in order for your audience to connect more with your characters, as really only you know them, and it's next to impossible to bring them to life in a gamescript rather than a narrative, where you have a lot of possibilities to explore those aspects of the character's in/humanity, depending on what type of person they are. So yeah, pretty good! colgate.gif

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The Unvirginiser

The Unvirginiser

Posted
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Posted (edited)

Heres a support sig that the highly talented CCPD made

 

user posted image

 

If you put this in your signature I will actually suck your dick inlove.gif

Please.. if it goes in your sig, it advertises the story more, generates more fans and pressures me to write more and more

Edited by The Unvirginiser
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Oxidizer

Oxidizer

Posted
Posted

 

If you put this in your signature I will actually suck your dick  inlove.gif

Never. Offer. Such. Things. ph34r.gifAt least not while sexual predators like me are within the vicinity.

 

On a serious note: sweet support sig! icon14.gif

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The Unvirginiser

The Unvirginiser

Posted
  • Author
Posted
If you put this in your signature I will actually suck your dick  inlove.gif

Never. Offer. Such. Things. ph34r.gifAt least not while sexual predators like me are within the vicinity.

 

On a serious note: sweet support sig! icon14.gif

Hopefully everybody will show off it's sweetness wink.gif

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TonyZimmzy

TonyZimmzy

Posted
Posted

More actual missions, less cutscenes. This isn't a game anymore. This wouldn't happen in a GTA game. The 'Guns at Dawn' was good.

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Kewfmwpj

Kewfmwpj

Posted
Posted
Heres a support sig that the highly talented CCPD made

 

user posted image

 

If you put this in your signature I will actually suck your dick inlove.gif

Please.. if it goes in your sig, it advertises the story more, generates more fans and pressures me to write more and more

I'm waiting, I even resized my sig for it.

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radicell

radicell

Posted
Posted
Head please! inlove.gif

 

Nah, sweet sig, bro.

Will me and The Unviriginiser be fighting for your support, Danni?

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The Unvirginiser

The Unvirginiser

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Head please!  inlove.gif

 

Nah, sweet sig, bro.

Will me and The Unviriginiser be fighting for your support, Danni?

Don't be crazy man!

Were not fighting over fans! I'm one of the biggest fans you have you fool inlove.gif

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radicell

radicell

Posted
Posted
Head please!  inlove.gif

 

Nah, sweet sig, bro.

Will me and The Unviriginiser be fighting for your support, Danni?

Don't be crazy man!

Were not fighting over fans! I'm one of the biggest fans you have you fool inlove.gif

I ain't crazy, I just found it odd that Danni would alternate his signatures between SAS and SFS. That's all, mutual support we've got here. inlove.gif

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The Unvirginiser

The Unvirginiser

Posted
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Posted

If he likes both, and he gets tired off one, he swaps, then in a few months he might get tired of mine and swap back.

rad, don't make me he-bitch man slap you sly.gif

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The Unvirginiser

The Unvirginiser

Posted
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Posted
Finally got around to reading this. I like what I've read so far, keep it up!

Thanks so much for the replies lads! So glad that I have all your support!

Remember, I'm open to any crisiticm, suggestions, queries, whatever, I'm happy to discuss whatever and appreciate all intrest in SA Stories

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Danni

Danni

Posted
Posted

Oh my god! The decisions!

 

Nah, it's cool. I'm going to fully update my signature sometime soon, with both banners up.

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The Unvirginiser

The Unvirginiser

Posted
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Posted

Heres another signature for ya'll to use... whichever one you prefer

 

user posted image

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