Vice Epic

[vicedude]

I.

It was fall; Randal Trapani, the son of the famous boxer, was doing jobs for Tommy Vercetti. Tommy was old now. He was a drug-addicted has been, who no longer cares for crime. He gave all his power to Randal with a price. Randal had to take out all opposing competitors in the area. Randal looked at the date on his laptop. It read: October 12, 2009. Randal was Catholic Italian-Cuban. His father was a boxing champ. His father died when a Leone tried to kill Tommy when he went to see Trapani fight. The Leone mis fired and killed Randal's pop. Tommy took in Randal in sorrow.

Toni Cipriani had now controlled the Leone family. Joey died in a freak car accident in the Red Light District. Toni made Liberty City his place. He wanted something new so he gave all his power to his right hand man. He went to Vice City for vacation. He left Francis International Airport. Roman Bellic, the cousin of powerful Nikolai, was on the same plane. He wanted to leave Liberty because his cousin died.

Randal's best friend was Packie McReary, an Irish gangster. Packie co-owned a restaurant with the Vercetti family. The Cubans, The Vercetti family, and the Irish Mob formed an alliance known as the Super Vice Syndicate. They all took care of drugs,protection, and guns going in and out of Vice City.

"Hey Randy let's get a beer at the Pineapple Pub" Packie said blinking a lot. "Alright, but you pay I'll drive" Randal replied.

 

II.

The Pineapple Pub was left of the Ocean View Hotel. It was dark and gloomy place, but it still had good drinks. The best was Randal's favorite. It was the Super Bomb. It was Tequila,scotch,beer and lemon. Randal drank until he couldn't feel feelings anymore. Packie was drinking a Guinness. The bartender was Sweet Johnson. He was an old gang-banger from Los Santos. He settled with two kids in Vice City. "Hey last call guys, You want anything? I'm gonna lock up. O.K?" the two nodded. Suddenly shots rang. Clang,bang,boom. Shot fired every which way. They were followed by Molotov cocktails. The pub caught fire. Who were the shooters? Randal thought.

 

TO BE CONTINUED..... SOON

[saltinespike]

If you do a new topic for other chapters, I ill gag you and feed you to Oxidizer. I'm serious. Don't f*ck up like the other dickhead.

 

...I'll review the story later, but in all honesty, I don't think I'll like it. I don't have a personal problem though. At least until you don't post future chapters in this thread.

[Oblivionz]

It goes back and connects to way too many old GTA characters. Sometimes, it may be a good thing.

In yours, it's an overdose.

[radicell]

What does I, II mean? Chapters? If so, they're way too short.

 

The whole post itself doesn't warrant a chapter, learn to develop on your ideas.

 

 

Suddenly shots rang. Clang,bang,boom. Shot fired every which way.

 

That just sounded a little bit off to me. Everything was fine, then shots rang out. At least make it a more interesting transition from serenity to chaos.

[vicedude]

III

Packie was shot in the chest. He was bleeding a lot. "Holy crap! Packie!" Randal screamed. Packie crawled to the bathroom. Randal reached his hidden pistol and blasted through the window. They were 3 shooters. Randal clipped 2 guys. Randal got up and fired at the last man. He popped in the shoulder. That guy dropped his cocktail and ran into his Admiral that was waiting for him. Randal followed with a Banshee. There was a nasty chase. Randal's Banshee almost flipped twice. Randal shot the back tire of the Admiral. The shooter led him to the Vercetti Mansion on Starfish Island.

There were thousands of Russians and Haitians. When the shooter ran out of his car, he was masked. Randal hid behind a palm tree and fired getting a wave of Haitians cleanly. He looked up to the windowsill to notice old Tommy was killing bunches of Russians. What Tommy didn't know was that a sniper was in a building across the street. The sniper shot Tommy in the forehead. The Haitians lit the mansion on fire. Randal ran to the backyard maze of the Mansion. He was scared and sweaty. His voice was dry. He ran to the dock at the back of the manor. He found a speed boat and drove to Escobar International. He got the first available flight to Liberty City. On the flight Randal kept thinking: "Who's trying to kill me? Who wants the Vercetti family dead? Did Packie die?" all these questions swarmed in Trapani's head. As the plane reached Francis International five hours later, Randal entered a cab to go to Portland, Liberty City.

(Back in Vice City) Roman Bellic, opened another taxi company this time in Little Havana. His place was owned by him but was ran by Umberto Robina's nephew, Luis and Brucie Kibbutz. Roman was eating steak when his wife walked into his office. She was so sexy. She was going to give him a B.J. when bullets ricocheted of the walls and windows. "C'mon!" Roman screamed. "I wish Niko was here" he thought. He grabbed an Ak-47 and walked to the front. Brucie was killed right there by the same masked killer. "You wanna play, bi*ch?" Roman yelled shooting up the block. The killer was a terrible shot. He shot Roman in the foot. "Ow, damn beeech!" Roman painfully bellowed.

(Back in Portland) Randal told the cabbie to take him to Saint Mark's Bistro. Randal had a second cousin who lived in Portland and worked at the bistro. He was also a soldier for the Forellis. The Forellis came back recently. They crippled the Leones, because Toni wasn't there. Randal walked in to see his 2nd cousin Francis Trapani. "Hey Frankie, how you doin'?" Randal asked. "Good, those Sindacco bastards are tryin' to kill us man" Frankie replied. "I know that feeling" Randal added. "It's war man. Just yesterday they robbed are dealership in Harwood" Francis said. "I here that. Anyways can I lay low here, maybe do some jobs?" Randal asked, "Yeah sure as long as you don't ask questions" Francis added.

IV.

 

 

TO BE CONTINUED

 

[Danny Phoenix]

Great... more IV references...

 

Why don't people ever read the 'Guide to Writing' topic anyway?

[vicedude]

IV. (STORY PART)

The Sindaccos under boss, Short Pete, was eating a sausage sandwich on his yacht in Shoreside Vale. He was thinking about how to finally control all of Liberty City. It wouldn't be easy especially when Randal came to help the Forellis. Pete finished his sandwich and gave his brother, Fat Dave a call.

(Back in Vice City) Sweet Johnson, the bartender, went to the Pineapple Pub. He saw it shot up and burnt. He was so sad he had a shocked induced heart attack and died.

(Back in Portland) A Leone sentinel drove up the street to Saint Mark's. Randal was smoking when he saw the car pass by. He knew something was up. Randal stealthily got into a car followed the Leone. He drove all the way to the Red Light District. He saw the Leone, who was Mickey Hamfists, give some cash to Luigi Goterelli. Luigi was beating up a man with a black leather jacket. "You damn thug. Claude you S.O.B.! I'm gonna kill you!" Luigi said relentlessly beating Claude and finally killing Claude. Claude was a friend of Frankie's ever since Claude whacked Salvatore Leone. Watching from his car, Randal grabbed his cell called up Francis. What Randal didn't know was that, he was in a Forelli car, the Sindaccos were planning to hit up Sex Club 7 the same time and that Randal's killer would show up in the middle of it all.

 

IV. (ACTION PART COMING SOON)

 

TO BE CONTINUED!

[Damo.]

It isn't great. I'd advise you to make the chapters a bit longer. It feels like a summary.

 

Also, stop killing off main characters. In fact, stay away from main characters altogether.

 

Read the guide to writing topic, as someone already said.

 

 

and that Randal's killer would show up in the middle of it all.

 

If you want to kill off the main character, at least do it right. We've just been introduced to the main character, at least give him a bit of a backstory before killing him off.

 

You'd do well to read some of the other GTA fanfics, such as TonyZimmzy's Heart City saga.

 

I'm trying to be as nice as I can, and yes, I'm a noob to WD, but this story really isn't great.

[vicedude]

IV. ACTION PART/ VICE EPIC: act one FINALE

Randal's car was being fired by oncoming Leones. The Sindaccos also fired at the Leones. Randal fearing for his soul and life got out of his beat up black car. Waves of cars of the rival families showed. The Sindaccos shot up but didn't kill Mickey. Luigi carefully flew to safety in helicopter on top of the club. Short Pete and Fat Dave were cornering the thug that was Trapani. He was about to dead meat when the masked killer of Vice City showed up. He was carrying a pistol and clipped Pete in the back of the head. Dave turned and shot the killer in the chest. Luckily for Randal, he used this distraction to hijack a sentinel and drive to Callahan Bridge.

A huge yacht filled with cocaine was driving out of Liberty. It had many Sindaccos protecting it, so it got safely to San Andreas for the Western Sindaccos to take care of it. The killer who had a bulletproof vest killed Dave with bullet to the heart. Randal landed his car onto the yacht (ala Starsky and Hutch). He carefully and quietly, while crouching, started silently killing all the Sindacco soldiers on board. He made his way to the captains deck. Two men guarded the captain. "We're almost there" the captain said. Randal kicked the door open and killed the guard to the right. The other guard shot Randal in the ribs. Trapani fell but shot the soldier in the throat. Randal reloaded his pistol. He told the captain to either jump ship or perish. The captain committed suicide saying he would die with the boat. He found a pistol next to the body of one of the guards.

Randal drove the yacht to San Fierro. He parked it at the dock. The Sindaccos who were supposed to pick up the package drove up to the docks. With Aks and grenades the started war like the 4th of July. "Die Forelli bastard!!!!!" they called. Randal grabbed as much powder as he could and put it in a book bag. He found an M-16 as he walked towards the front deck. "You want war! You got it. Arriverdeci Mother f***ers!" Randal yelled firing like an Italian Tony Montana. He shot thousands of Sindaccos and then he jumped onto a parked motorcycle. He drove and shot his way to a hippie's farm. He jumped the fence and saw a dodo waiting. The hippie came out back and said "That hasn't flown since '69!". Randal got inside and with 5 acres left flew off. He knew he had to get to Vice. In the back of the plane there was a rope ladder. A helicopter came frighteningly behind the dodo. It was once again the killer. "DAMN! This guys the fricken TERMINATOR!" Randal said very angry. The killer shot the tail of the dodo. Randal trying to survive, jumped out of the plane and into the ocean. He swam to the beach.

 

THERE ARE TWO FOLLOWING ENDINGS TO THIS STORY:

 

ENDING A:

Randal was swimming towards land. When the helicopter from over head shot him three times in the chest haunting him. He began to think: WHO'S SHOOTING ME? The chopper landed in front of the beach. Surprisingly, it wasn't crowded. The killer came out to reveal he was Packie. "What? How?" Randal asked. "Well it was simple. I used squibs to fake the shots that hit me and Heinz is just the right kind of ketchup for fake thick blood. Also the voice amplifier I bought at Zero's in San Fierro is genius. So now this is where you die! You didn't want to give me power so I'll take it from you!" Packie said. He revealed his Colt 45 revolver and finally put to rest the life of Randal Trapani. His body was overcome by wave in the sunny beach of Vice City. His body would never be seen again.

 

ENDING B:

Randal was swimming towards land. When the helicopter from over head shot him three times in the chest haunting him. He began to think: WHO'S SHOOTING ME? The chopper landed in front of the beach. Surprisingly, it wasn't crowded. The killer came out to reveal he was Packie. "What? How?" Randal asked. "Well it was simple. I used squibs to fake the shots that hit me and Heinz is just the right kind of ketchup for fake thick blood. Also the voice amplifier I bought at Zero's in San Fierro is genius. So now this is where you die! You didn't want to give me power so I'll take it from you!" Packie said. As Packie was about to take out his Colt 45, Randal remembered that he took the pistol from one of the guard. He shot Packie. Screaming for help, a woman called for an ambulance.

 

 

I WILL CONTINUE VICE EPIC ON A NEW THREAD IT WILL BE TOLD IN A PARALLEL STORY INVOLVING RANDAL'S DAD AND RANDAL'S FUTURE.

[vicedude]

INTRODUCTION-1969

In 1959, Johnny "Cheesecake" Trapani was born in Portland. He was living in an apartment that overlooked a warehouse that was controlled by Antonio Forelli in Trenton. He was the capo of the Forellis.

By the '69, when Antonio's son was in 'Nam, Forelli found Johnny and needed him to do work for the Forellis. He would make drinks and on the Don's birthday he baked the Don a cheesecake. Ever since then he was given that nickname. He had great fists. When a Forelli enforcer, took Johnny to a slaughterhouse, the enforcer saw how hard Johnny could hit the cow meats, he knew Johnny was a fantastic fighter.

 

I-LATE 2009

The Vercetti manor on Starfish Island was renamed the Trapani Residence. Randal was wearing a flame Hawaiian shirt, jeans and white sneakers. He began to think: Powder can make me rich but won't make me powerful. I need to do what Tommy told me to do. He had extra cash when Roman Bellic committed insurance fraud by setting his business on fire. Brucie, Luis and Roman gave Randal cash for powder. Two dealers Banky and Red became Randal's body guards and associates. Suddenly a sniper shot Randal's middle finger off. He screamed and fell down the main steps of the mansion. Banky quickly pushed Randal into the garage. They needed a car.

[vicedude]

It my take me a while to make to write this one because I'm planning a completely original story that has GTA themes but no references or any thing to do with GTA. So I'm halting this story for a bit but don't worry I'll finish at least by summer.

[mark-2007]

 

Keep your stories to one topic please. Also, you didn't pay any attention to people's advice when they said to make chapters longer, more descriptive and include dialogue. At the moment you've just summed up a story like in a synopsis of a film, this isn't a story.

[saltinespike]

 

If you do a new topic for other chapters, I will gag you and feed you to Oxidizer. I'm serious. Don't f*ck up like the other dickhead.

Sh*tknuckle.

[vicedude]

THIS NOT A NEW TOPIC FOR A NEW CHAPTER THIS IS A WHOLE NEW BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY OTHER WAS SHORT AND U MAY NOT LIKE IT BUT THAT'S YOUR F***ING OPINION MY BOOK IS DONE AND THIS IS ITS SEQUEL SO STOP WITH THE DAMN NEGATIVE REPLYS BECAUSE U GOT IT ALL WRONG!

[saltinespike]

That whole last topic was less than a chapter, let alone a whole damn book. This would be a new chapter. Ask any other member of WD, or any mod for that matter.

[gta phil gta]

Act 1 / Act 2.

 

Says it all. Topics merged, and keep them to the same thread from now on. Seriously.