Badfellas

[VinnieLeone]

Hi, I right most of my stories in BUYG(Build Your Gang) well here's a taste from my Chapter 6.

 

 

 

 

Chapter 6- Goodfellas

 

“Jimmy I need Ray Boccino’s crew to take some evidence they have against me.” I said.

 

“Sal, I’m kind of busy with the Pavanos right now.” he said.

 

“Jimmy look you owe me, so please do this favor for me.” I said with an attitude.

 

“Fine, what’s the job”? He asked.

 

“Silvio DeMeo of the Gambetti family, he is standing trial against me, take him out on national television”. I said quietly.

 

Jimmy left that second I told him. To be honest Jimmy’s family is growing quickly, In June he had about 50 guys, now he has 130 and some strong connections to the New Guensey mob. On October 23,2008 Silvio was on the Liberty View news channel, I was watching him on television.

 

“Salvatore Ambrosio is very bad man and he deserves to be in prison for lif-. He words were cut short by a drive by made by the Boccino Crew. The court decided to release me in November. The store clerks were replaced and the rackets were destroyed. The Gambetti Family declared war against the Pegorino and their allies. The Lupisella and Messina were backing the Pegorino Family. And the Ancelotti, Forelli and Pavano families were backing the Gambetti. Our allies’ nerver fought but the Pegorino-Gambetti war lasted until 11/17/08.I couldn’t believe Jimmy was still angered by Jon Gravelli move on the Sprunk Factory in South Alderney, Jimmy asked Carmine’s crew to take out Jackie Gravelli (Capo) and Bobby Mussolini (Soldier). Jimmy was always a hothead, but this damn moron went crazy! So after the peace, talk we learned that Tommy Vercetti is finally moving in Liberty. Tommy was turning 54 years old.

“What the f*ck you want Vercetti.” Jimmy said.

 

“End the f*cking war with the Pavano and Gambetti families.” Vercetti said.

 

“Go f*ck yourself, I don’t need to end sh*t.” Said Jimmy holding his Glock.

 

“Whoa, calm the f*ck down.” I said.

 

“Look, Jimmy consider this a warning, I’m Tommy Vercetti one of the most powerful men in the country.” He said.

 

Jimmy tucked away his Glock 17; he left the room in an intense enraged way. When he shut the door it broke the freaking windows.

 

(Majestic Hotel)

 

Santino Vercetti and his girlfriend were having sex, when to Pegorino soldiers busted in and kidnapped Santino.

 

(St. Ann’s Holy Church)

 

Angie and I got married; my best men were Gaetano.A, Jimmy, Lil Paulie, Paulie C., Vincent Balestrieri, Carmine, Vito and Anthony Corrado Jr. When we took the wedding to the veranda a brown limo pulled up and opened fire on us. Jimmy Pegorino was shot 12 times and survived. Jimmy and the commission and decided to whack Vercetti, but when the commission said its ok. Of course Jimmy didn’t listen.

 

(In this Scene it circles Jimmy and Tony Corrado J.R, Although Tony is not talking at all.)

 

 

(Firefly Island Projects)

 

 

“Uh… My f*cking head, W-Where am I?” Said Santino.

 

“Your father f*cked up pretty bad kid” Said an anonymous voice.

 

“Who the f*ck are you?” Said Santino.

 

A strange silhouette appeared from a bright light, Santino eyes widen greatly. It was Jimmy Pegorino with a pistol in his hand.

 

“What the f*ck do you want Peggy?” He said.

 

“Nothing.” Said Jimmy with a maniac look on his face.

 

“Then why are you taking this so personally?” Asked Santino.

 

“I’m not taking it personally, who says it’s personal.” Jimmy said.

 

“Tony Jr., bring out Alfredo Vercetti.” Asked Jimmy.

 

“Wait, what did you f*cks did to my brother?” Asked Santino.

 

Fredo came out of the room in shambles; he was beaten up so badly you couldn’t identify him.

 

“Oh my god, Fredo!” Cried Santino.

 

“Sonny- help me!” Fredo voice was cracking, his feet were incased in cement. Jimmy grabbed a saw and some gasoline.

 

“You see what happens to people when they f*ck over Jimmy Pegorino?” Jimmy said.

 

Jimmy pored gasoline all over Fredo. Then he did something that shocked me forever, He slit Fredo throat slightly and lit him on fire and then shot him in his head. The brains were all over Santino who was vomiting.

 

 

“Sonny, you see what happens?” Jimmy asked.

 

“Go to hell Jimmy!” Said Santino.

 

Jimmy picked up a saw and smack Santino with it.

 

“Gentlemen, lets leave this poor Vercetti piece of sh*t.” Said Jimmy.

 

I was waiting in the car; sense I was the first to get out the building. I saw Jimmy and Johnny Boy Barsosa walk to the car.

 

Jimmy pulled out his cell phone and the building exploded. Now I know I was in the Pegorino Family, If I can be as brutal as Jimmy or Johnny Boy. I can be a made man.

[Claude GTA3]

Too many "f*cks".

[VinnieLeone]

some guy PM'ed me that i say f*ck to much, but he like s the scene when fredo is killed

[VinnieLeone]

I Would put in Chapter 7 but... i don't think its good

[Struff Bunstridge]

Vinnie, you still need more description in your sentences. You could easily double the length of this chapter by going into more detail about what's happening, and it'd be more to fun to read that way. For example:

 

 

Santino Vercetti and his girlfriend were having sex, when to Pegorino soldiers busted in and kidnapped Santino.

 

Try setting the scene a little more; it doesn't have to go on for pages and pages, but that one line could have become five or six with a bit of description.

 

 

Jimmy pulled out his cell phone and the building exploded.

 

Does this mean he called someone who detonated some explosives that were in the building? I'm guessing it does, but it's hard to know for sure as there's no indication of him making a phone call, and no mention of explosives up until that point. It reads a little too much like something I'd read to get the general overview, rather than reading the story itself. The subject material's good though; Jimmy's sounding like a real bastard.

[VinnieLeone]

Gonna catch some people up.

 

The Year is 2008 and I'm using GTA IV's Liberty City.

 

THe Main Charaters are Salvatore"Sally" Ambrosio and his brother Gaetano"Tommy"Ambrosio.

 

They both join the Leone Family and a lot of drama has went down since Luigi Goterelli ratted on Mickey Hamfist and Joey Leone.

 

[VinnieLeone]

My friend likes Jimmy, he thinks he is quite badass. also when Jimmy pulled out his Cellphone it didn't blow up the building, I had one line in the story when Jimmy tell Johnny to plant explosives in the building. But i didn't think it look very good so i deleted it.

[Struff Bunstridge]

Ah, OK, that makes sense. If you're deleting lines afterwards, you need to make sure you delete any later references to it, or dumbasses like me get confused

[VinnieLeone]

Chapter 7- War is up to God.

 

 

(

(Honkers strip club in Alderney City)

 

When I heard that Jimmy assassinated Santino and Fredo Vercetti, I wasn’t surprised. The Gambetti, Lupisella Families (Heads of the Commission) decided to go against the Vercetti Outfit. The Vercetti had more men than the Five Families.

Well it was the Five Families vs. Vice Mafia vs. Alderney Mafia.

 

Jimmy Pegorino, Ray Boccino and I planned our first attack.

 

(Honkers)

 

“Ray, Peter Cangiano is one of the Vercetti Drug ring leaders.” Jimmy said.

 

“So what about him?” said Ray.

 

“Well see if we can get him and his crew to switch sides, Sally who is Peter’s Captain?” Jimmy said.

 

“ Jackie Cavalieri I think.” I said.

 

“Good” Said Jimmy.

 

(Phil Bell then walks in)

 

 

 

“There are some f*cking blacks outside man, they have guns.” Phil said.

 

“Crap, Vercetti beat us to the wrap.” Ray Said,

 

“ Let’s take the back way out.” Phil suggested.

 

So we ran out the back into Ray’s car, later that night Lil Paulie and I went to the Majestic hotel to kill Joseph Clemenza.

In room 213 I saw Jimmy with his Captains Luca Silvestri and Ray Boccino. They were beating Bobby Bongiovi.

 

“Why!” Asked Bobby.

 

“Because you left my family to join the f*cking Vercetti family.” Said Jimmy.

 

“Luca shoot that piece of sh*t!” Jimmy Demanded.

 

(Four Gunshots rang out.)

 

Joe Clemenza wasn’t there, but he got a cab to Little Italy. Lil Paulie and I followed him to Joseph DiLeo’s Waste Company.

When Clemenza step out of his cab, I ran to him and shot him in the right eye.

 

So from the looks of it we were winning until one day.

 

(South Bay, Bohan) December 9

 

“Tom stay in the car, I’m going to talk to Mickey.” I said.

 

“Ok bro.” Said Tommy.

 

It started to snow, as I walked near the building to get Mickey. I heard seven gunshots and then I turned around.

Tommy was slumped over in the seat. My eyes started to water.

 

“Tommy!” I screamed.

 

I rushed over and grabbed my blood ridden brother…

 

“Salvatore, why did this happened?” asked Tommy.

 

“Just calm down please, Tommy don’t talk.” I pleaded.

 

“Someone help me, please someone help me!” I cried out. It started to snow, my mom always said that when you have accepted Jesus it will snow.

 

Tommy was put into a coma; he was shot in the head twice and two bullets to the pancreas.

 

I went to the 69th street diner in Bohan, I can hear people’s conversations.

 

“Ha, you should have been there.” Said some guy.

 

“His head was jolting and everything” The guy said.

 

“Wow so you did whack an Ambrosio brother?” asked a drunken companion.

 

“I’m sorry did you say Tommy Ambrosio?” I asked putting on a calm face.

 

“Sure did!” Said the man.

 

“Well I’m his brother Salvatore Ambrosio and Tommy sends his regards.” I said as I pulled out my stubby shotgun.

 

“Hey, Hey Sally calm down ok?” Said the man.

 

“What’s your name?” I demanded.

 

“David Hancock” He said.

 

“I’m with the old Johnny Sindacco crew, please Sally don’t do this please, please!” He said.

 

I felt sorry for the little bastard, so a got my chair and smacked him across the face with the chair’s legs.

 

“f*ck, my face!” He said.

 

“Let that be a lesson for you” I said.

 

As I walk away the man tripped me, then he took my shotgun.

 

“Ya, who the real man?” He said. Holding the shotgun closer and closer to my face.

 

“I got you and your brother- oh this is to good-” I shot him in the arm with my desert eagle that I had in my coat pocket.

 

As I stood back up, I started taunting him as he tried to shoot me with the shotgun that was nerver loaded.

 

“Well, Well, Well look what why we have here?” I said pointing my gun at him.

 

“Please stop, I have kids!” He pleaded to me.

 

“Ya so did my brother!” I said as I shot him in his leg.

 

“Sally look we both lost someone, but need to get over it!” He said.

 

“Oh, Get over it”? “ That’s a good plan.” I said. I shot David in the face six times and left the bar to my home in Dukes like nothing happened.

[VinnieLeone]

This stories are already down on BUYG, But i would like to post Chpater 8 on here before there so i can your opinons first.

[Danny Phoenix]

Man, it's so undescriptive, and always hate when people combine GTA III's universe with GTA IV.

 

I think it sucks, to be blunt.

[VinnieLeone]

I'm sorry but when BUYG goes to GTA Iv I will be using The Gambetti Family instead of the Leone.

[VinnieLeone]

These stories contain Italians and Mafia content, Nudity and anything else you can’t watch, read or smell. Reader’s discretion is advised. Please lock your kid out of the room. Also if you're Irish,Black, Jewish or Muslim you may feel abit gassey,angry and Sad. (Note i'm not responsible if your child shoots you or a guy named Paul Renzetti, you have been warned.)

[Rhoda]

Please, please, please, stop double posting. You're constantly told in BUYG and around the forums in general. Edit your posts instead.

[Chickstick]

No need for all the double posts mate. Use the edit button in future.

 

Also, if I read it correctly, this has already been posted in the BUYG thread? If so, what's the point of posting it twice? I can understand the desire to get your work more exposure, but a link in your sig would work just as well if not better.

[mark-2007]

 

These stories contain Italians and Mafia content, Nudity and anything else you can’t watch, read or smell. Reader’s discretion is advised. Please lock your kid out of the room. Also if you're Irish,Black, Jewish or Muslim you may feel abit gassey,angry and Sad. (Note i'm not responsible if your child shoots you or a guy named Paul Renzetti, you have been warned.)

 

They're really not that gory mate. I'd keep your stories to BUYG as well, if BUYG ends and you still have ideas then write a story and post them here (also, why start at chapter 6?). Just linking BUYG to your sig is advertisement enough.

 

As I've said when rating your stories, you could do with a load more decription instead of "I did this, he did that Ray did that so Jimmy helped". Expand on ideas and drench it with description so the reader can imagine it actually happening. You also use far too many names in such short chapters - you don't have to give the bit players names - just keep it to main characters and enemies. You have some nice ideas but the way you write at the moment doesn't fit show it.

[gta phil gta]

Just to reiterate what Chickstick has said, stop double posting. If you have something further to add, edit your previous post.

[VinnieLeone]

Chapter 8: The Funeral.

 

Paul Renzetti was being made today, I was so happy. Angie was in Guensey City for the week. So we went to hangout at the Honkers, Ray Boccino came in drunk as hell.

 

“Well look who its Mr. Bianchi, hey I got a job for the Leone’s there is a truck filled with diamonds.” Ray said slurring his words.

 

“Ray, you need to calm down” I said.

 

“Hey Sally isn’t Lil Paulie being made today?” Asked Ray.

 

“Ya, he was supposed to be made about 3 minutes ago.” I said as looked at my watch.

 

(Chinatown)

 

Lil Paulie walks in a room with two Vercetti gunmen open fire on Paulie with Uzi’s. Paulie runs out of the room and ends up in the middle of the street. Paulie leans on his Savanna, he starts to laugh and pulls out a cigar. He lights it, the two gunmen catch up with a broken Paulie. Paulie flicks them off and pulls out his Baby Uzi, he mowed down both gunmen but passed out and died by loss of blood. Lil Paulie was 21 years old.

 

 

It’s been 44 mins and Lil Paulie wasn’t here yet, I turned on the news channel.

 

“Alleged mobster Paulie Renzetti was killed by gunmen with ties to the Vercetti crime organization, FIB has done a mass search for Vercetti and Leone members.”

 

 

I was at the bar, shocked about what I heard. My phone started to ring. It was Julies Bianchi.

 

“Ya, what do you want?” I asked.

 

“It’s the Don, he has been shot!” He said.

 

“Who shot him?” I asked as I left the club.

 

“The Vercetti.” He said.

 

“That’s it I’m tired of Vercetti’s bullsh*t!” I said yelling into my phone.

 

People started to stare at me, so I pulled out my gun and fired widely into the air.

 

“Sally, there’s another thing Gaetano woke up from the coma.” He said.

 

I started to cry for a second, “Good, we need to set up a funeral for Paulie.” I said.

 

(1 week later.)

 

Paulie Renzetti’s Funeral.

 

Bianchi was the first to step and say a few thing about Paulie.

 

“Paul was a good kid, he was loud and headstrong.” Bianchi said as his voice started to break.

 

“I’m sorry, my buddy Johnny was a lot better at this.” He said, he then started to leave the funeral.

 

Jimmy then got up and started walking towards me.

 

“Sally, the boys are in place are you ready?” He asked me.

 

“Sure, lets do this!” I said.

 

The Hit on Vercetti was in process, we whacked his Consigliore Michael Lombauzzi and His Captains Bobby Vendetta, Mark Drago and Gay Tony Lucchese.

 

Then came to whack Tommy himself, we learned that Tommy was in Dukes and he was trying to escape to New Guensey.

 

 

 

Francis International Airport,

 

Tommy and Mercedes were in the front of the airport; Julies Bianchi and I made our move.

 

“How long are going to be gone?” asked Mercedes.

 

“I don’t know but be careful honey.” Tommy Said.

 

Bianchi walked next to Tommy and blew his brains all over Mercedes and the car.

 

“Tommy, Tommy no!” Mercedes screamed.

 

“Shut the hell up, you f*cking bitch!” Bianchi said. Bianchi shot Mercedes in the face and ran to a nearby Buffalo.

 

Little Italy,

Drusilla Ristorante.

 

Even though I knew that the war was over, I felt empty, my brother Gaetano was wheelchair bound and Paulie C. was becoming the Don in a few days. I knew this meant I would become Street boss. Something was just making me sad.

 

(Flashback to 1989)

 

Vito Lupisella and Giorgio Ambrosio are talking about “Pest Control”.

 

“We need to see if old man Lupisella would let us deal drugs with Tommy Vercetti” I suggested.

 

“I don’t know, Vincent Lupisella doesn’t do drugs.” “Giovanni, your brother is he coming out of the Alderney State Prison?” asked Vito.

 

“ I think in about 4 days, has Mark doing.” I asked

 

“He is now a made man, Giorgio I think your son is listening to us.” He said.

 

“Nah, he is sleeping.” I said, I knew that Sal was sleeping. He couldn’t have been awake it’s the late 80’s and its 12:34 AM.

 

“Well Giorgio I’m going to go back to South Bohan.” Vito said.

 

“Ok, I’ll see you tomorrow.” I said.

 

 

To Be Continued