tld Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 I'm lost your not the only one is this a mission am missing or something the fact this guy has actually thought this up and posted it worries me To OP You would probably fit in on the WOW retard forum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delano.888 Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Just make the car burn while driving really fast, then jump out, she will blow up, and so will the baby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breaking Bohan Posted June 18, 2008 Author Share Posted June 18, 2008 Why are you worried about child support? Unless you filled out a W-2 for your job, they won't be able to garnish your wages. And most likely, if they take your license, you won't care anyway. So what's the problem? Just ignore them. I'm afraid I am not licensed to practice and I never got a W-2 - where the hell do I find one? Persius? Is there a website or something? Call me old fashioned but I feel there's a moral obligation to provide a stable household for my spawn ... that's why I can't just ignore them ... but I lucked out because I think it was a jellyfish and not a fetus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fizziii Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Why are you worried about child support? Unless you filled out a W-2 for your job, they won't be able to garnish your wages. And most likely, if they take your license, you won't care anyway. So what's the problem? Just ignore them. I'm afraid I am not licensed to practice and I never got a W-2 - where the hell do I find one? Persius? Is there a website or something? Call me old fashioned but I feel there's a moral obligation to provide a stable household for my spawn ... that's why I can't just ignore them ... but I lucked out because I think it was a jellyfish and not a fetus. I was referring to a driver's license... and a W-2 is a tax form that gets filled out and lets the government know where you work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pfo Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 You should really limit yourself to 5 hits of acid before playing GTA 4. Any more than that and, well, you know... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Infinite Monkey Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Listen, you've got to be careful with this chick; she's got some weird thing going with the DA, she knows people, man. Whatever you do, do not sign anything! On the up side; I got off the boat 230 days ago, and still no sign of xmass in Liberty City. Chances are that if she is gestating something in there, it's never comming out. But if you want to be on the safe side; coathangers are obtainable from the Russian Shop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breaking Bohan Posted June 18, 2008 Author Share Posted June 18, 2008 Listen, you've got to be careful with this chick; she's got some weird thing going with the DA, she knows people, man. Whatever you do, do not sign anything! On the up side; I got off the boat 230 days ago, and still no sign of xmass in Liberty City. Chances are that if she is gestating something in there, it's never comming out. But if you want to be on the safe side; coathangers are obtainable from the Russian Shop. Wow - finally some real advice I can actually use - thanks man! It is strange that the seasons don't turn, and it could all have something to do w/ Kiki ... I also forget that she works for the DA, and will try to pull the wool over my eyes just because she thinks I'm a stupid immigrant. Let's see how stupid she thinks I is when I get that coathanger and perform a D&X on her ass! PS. "TLD" - you can suck my balls fool ... get w/ the program~! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Infinite Monkey Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Let's see how stupid she thinks I is when I get that coathanger and perform a D&X on her ass! Not her ass! You must have turned over two pages in the instruction manual. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Invisible Lines Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Well, you can pick up objects on the ground, so just snoop around for a coat hanger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breaking Bohan Posted June 18, 2008 Author Share Posted June 18, 2008 Let's see how stupid she thinks I is when I get that coathanger and perform a D&X on her ass! Not her ass! You must have turned over two pages in the instruction manual. LMFAO --- ah hell, you're right! No wonder she's been acting all smug lately, well Kiki may have won this round - but just as soon as I can get enough money for a cab I'm going to try to find another coathanger so I can give it to her good when she gets home from work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamesguru Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 I'm going for a dump................holy sh*t! It's Kiki's Baby; well one of them. Drive up to a petrol pump and block her exit, and then blow that skank to kingdom com. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Infinite Monkey Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Try stalking her and the DA for a while; how well does she know him? What is the exact nature of their relationship? How come he is so wrapped round her little finger? You have to start thinking about counter-sueing sometime in the future. You might as well play the long game here; you've got all the time in the world... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cadm9410 Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 OK, who bumped this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pr0xy_fl00d3r Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Take her to the subway and push her in front of an oncoming train, thats the best, humane solution. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Infinite Monkey Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 OK, who bumped this? It was like that when I got here; it just came apart in my hands... honest... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamesguru Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 OK, who bumped this? Kiki Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breaking Bohan Posted June 18, 2008 Author Share Posted June 18, 2008 I could throw her under a train, but I hardly ever use the subway or trains because they seem so pointles, as such, Kiki may get wise to my scheme if I suggest we take the train - ugh ... I'd never hear the end of it! But it may be a good idea to return to the law firm and see if I can retain any lawyers that I may have left alive ... I get the feeling I may need representation before all is said and done, why just the other day she was threatening to file assault and battery charges against me after I used a coathanger and tried to perform an abortion on her assh*le ... true story! Now as long as I can get another look up in her works to see if she has any more jellyfish or foreign objects obstructing her plumbing I'll be good to go ... but I don't think she'll be all to receptive to my advances after the anal abortion ... I could use some advice here. PS. Does anyone know if the Uniform Parentage Act is applicable in Liberty City? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gtaman4523 Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 TMNT RLY? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breaking Bohan Posted June 18, 2008 Author Share Posted June 18, 2008 TMNT RLY? What!? Also, who's "bumping" what? You guys aren't making this easy on me - let's try to keep things coherent - you're making about as much sense as Kiki after 3 martinis. I think I may be able to get in close by offering to bleach her asswhole (I'm fairly certain I heard something about it on the radio ... a news report ... someone had died and it was a fad) - anyway, I laughed like all hell when I heard that. Can anyone else varify this or know what station it was on? It was about the craziest thing I've heard in Liberty City, and living w/ Kiki I've heard a lot! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamesguru Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 TMNT RLY? What!? Also, who's "bumping" what? You guys aren't making this easy on me - let's try to keep things coherent - you're making about as much sense as Kiki after 3 martinis. I think I may be able to get in close by offering to bleach her asswhole (I'm fairly certain I heard something about it on the radio ... a news report ... someone had died and it was a fad) - anyway, I laughed like all hell when I heard that. Can anyone else varify this or know what station it was on? It was about the craziest thing I've heard in Liberty City, and living w/ Kiki I've heard a lot! Put the bleach in her drink! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Infinite Monkey Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Ok; I've been sitting outside her apartment in a rusty Saber for a while now, but no sign of her or the DA. Do you think they could have spotted me? I'm wearing the Liberty City T-shirt so they'll just think I'm some tourist, and a ski mask because I don't want them to know it's me. Maybe they got suspicious or something, was the T-shirt a mistake? I don't see anyone else in one... Come to think of it; they've got some nice clothes out here, I wonder where they buy them...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breaking Bohan Posted June 18, 2008 Author Share Posted June 18, 2008 Ok; I've been sitting outside her apartment in a rusty Saber for a while now, but no sign of her or the DA. Do you think they could have spotted me? I'm wearing the Liberty City T-shirt so they'll just think I'm some tourist, and a ski mask because I don't want them to know it's me. Maybe they got suspicious or something, was the T-shirt a mistake? I don't see anyone else in one... Come to think of it; they've got some nice clothes out here, I wonder where they buy them...? Difficult to say ... but she probably left like 30 voice messages on your phone ... that bitch is calling me around the clock, and she insists on talking to me even after I told her my calling plan only allows me free minutes after 9pm! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Infinite Monkey Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 I had to turn my phone off - I downloaded a really embarrassing ringtone, and it's no good for covert ops. Anyway, I should probably try and save the battery; The guy who gave it to me didn't give me a charger for it; in fact I don't remember recharging it once since I got the thing, so it's got to give out soon. I guess I could try and rig up something with tin foil and connect it to the ciggarette lighter in the Saber, but I'm worried about having to keep the engine ticking over and running out of gas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bitsandpieces Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 In a bit of a jackpot here ... after a wild night of drinking with Kiki at Jagoff's I managed to score (which was good) but I think the rubber broke because after I left this lady turned into a real pain in the ass (calling all the time; demanding fidelity) ... I can only assume this skank is knocked up!!! Its a sticky situation, and I tried to go to the pharmacy to obtain some emergency contraceptives but they are all closed; I went to [email protected] to run a web search for a women's clinic but came up dry; next I decided to try the hospital but I cant locate the on-call doctor, and even when I put on the scrubs I stole the game won't let Niko perform the abortion. (WTF not!) Since I dont want to waste my cash paying child support for this obnoxious slat of trim, I was wondering what you guys did. I'm running out of time and considering 1) scoring Ludes from the mexican internet pharmacy and poisoning her, or 2) pushing her down the stairs after our next date. But hopefully someone knows where I can locate a clinic or a coathanger and I can resolve this unpleasantness in a discrete manner. Suggestions?! Ps. Does anyone know where I can score besides the pharmacy? ((It would be cheaper if I didn't have to pay for rush-postage from Mexico - I'd rather just go to the Bowery if at all possible.)) Thanks you could always get a..sex change operation, she probably wont want you anymore after that There's a 24 hrs drug store on 5th & ......i forgot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gtx Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 wat you need to do is, punch her really hard in the ovaries, thus making her realise tht u dont want this baby to come out, then she will leave u alone, They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works, every time. 60% != 100% !!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GTA3Freak-2001 Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 Well the child support would be good for spending that large amount of cash you end up having at the end of the game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rogan2442 Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 (edited) im from england, the uk, britain, u know, the place on the other side of the water, island, home of kate moss, the queen, and pork pies. anyways, i have the same problem over here, this f*ckin irish bitch called kate moved over here, played the old innocent virgin card, 4 months down the line she tells me.....shes pregnant, to make things worse i got some of here f*ckin brothers tellin me to not f*ck with her or they'll give me a chelsea kiss. f*ckin inbred tw*ts. callin me everyday tryin to scare me into stayin around, f*ck that, i used to be a man, i could kill a man with a toothbrush and some silly string, now i can hardly leave this f*ckin sh*t tip kate calls a house. im gonna cut that bitch from ear to ear. where the f*ck is my frying pan? Edited June 19, 2008 by rogan2442 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamesguru Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 i used to be man, i could kill a man with a toothbrush and some silly string, now i can hardly leave this f*ckin sh*t tip kate calls a house. Lol at the silly string. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breaking Bohan Posted June 19, 2008 Author Share Posted June 19, 2008 These women need to be rounded up and stuffed in the zoo or a camp or something! We can't just let them roam free, show us some trim, and then tell us we're their baby's daddy - what kind of sh*t is that? I wish you could call the medics and have them perform the abortion ... it would save me a lot of time ... I'm tired of scrounging for coathangers all day. I'm starting to lose it here! She's going to get a boot to the cooze!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breaking Bohan Posted June 20, 2008 Author Share Posted June 20, 2008 But in all seriousness, I used to work in a pharmacy, and when a young man called to ask the pharmacist's advice about his condom malfunction - the old man suggested a prompt douche. Of course that was prior to the creation of the "morning after pill" - so it's probably not the most current medical advice; however, if you find yourself in a pinch, it might serve you well to keep this nugget filed away in the back of your head. You can see what a hassle performing an abortion on your woman is, and I would avoid it at all costs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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