Sexual Experiences

[StingerSplash85]

Post 'em! Any kinds, espically wierd ones, post 'em!

 

I was at the bar this one night, with one main goal - to get drunk. I mean, that's all I came to do. Blew my whole paycheck (I got the check on friday, went to the bar on saturday) on all types of booze. Got wasted, and a cute little shy chick came up to me. I'm positive she was drunk too. We had a conversation, and to make a long story short, we were heading to her house. I was pretty satisfied, I mean, got drunk, and i'm about to get laid, at a house other than mine. Anyway, I asked her where to put my coat (it was $300, I wasn't going to lay it just anywhere) and she said in the closet. Walked to the closet, opened it with jacket in hand, and I saw the most frightening thing i've ever saw in my whole life.

 

BDSM. EQUIPMENT.

 

Masks, whips, handcuffs, those little gag balls, everything. I can assure you, no man has ever exited a woman's house in the speed that I did. I didn't even let her know that I was leaving. Don't pick up shy chicks at bars anymore, you never know what you'll see in her closet!

[N0FX182]

Was her name Michelle?

[Digïtál £vîl]

What is wrong with that stuff man? As long as she wasn't using it on you. I bet she would have been a monster in the sack too. Even without the equipment. Psycho chicks seem to be crazy in bed. Why do you think men stick with them?

 

Plus.. Handcuffs aren't that bad. You could have asked to cuff her up and play "cops and robbers" haha.

[Sinful]

Maybe YOU were supposed to use them on HER!

 

Now THAT would be cool.

 

[v350]

If I were hammered I would probably be into it!

 

2 Valentines ago, my and my gf were moving our snesual play into the bedroom. This cntinued to the point where we were both in our birthday suits. I proceded to get a condom and put it on. When I grabed the endo of it to squeeze the air out, I must have pulled the condom up as well. SNAP! the darn thing felt like I got a hard slap right agtos my nob. It bloody hurt, so Im moaning in pain and my gf is laughing with tears coming out of her eyes.

[60 Cent.]

Don't laugh, but my first time having sex (like when I was 14) I was soo nervous, I couldn't even find the entrance, if you catch my drift.

[Democrab]

I got a lapdance and almost laid a chick in the same room as, not only her parents, my mum and my friends parents too.

[Digïtál £vîl]

I got a lapdance and almost laid a chick in the same room as, not only her parents, my mum and my friends parents too.

I believe in this story almost as much as I believe in Creationism.

[voteneg]

At 18 years of age I'm still a virgin...

 

::waits for everyone to point and laugh::

 

I'm waiting till marriage.

 

I regret my decision approximately every day ten seconds.

 

It's less of a religious decision than it is a precautionary one. The story of my conception is as follows...

 

Two drunk college students randomly shag, and despite the use of a condom I still manage to be conceived.

 

Clearly accidents happen, I'm one of them... aaaand to be honest I sure as hell wouldn't want to get stuck with a little me on accident. So I figure if I wait till I'm married I'll at least be in some sort of stable position in my life to deal with a kid even if it wasn't planned... and it'd be better for the child too.

 

Anyways there is this girl I'm absolutely head over heals for... she's a virgin for more of a religious reason (we went to a private lutheran middle school together a few years back) she'll be waiting... and boy is she sure worth waiting for.

 

[makeshyft]

Clearly accidents happen, I'm one of them... aaaand to be honest I sure as hell wouldn't want to get stuck with a little me on accident. So I figure if I wait till I'm married I'll at least be in some sort of stable position in my life to deal with a kid even if it wasn't planned... and it'd be better for the child too.

Hmm... I know a lot of married people who have had 'accidental' children also. Having a ring on your finger in no way guarantees that you will be able to care for a child. What if you wait, start a career, get married, have a child and then your career falls apart? It just seems like faulty reasoning to wait, but you're free to do what you want, of course.

[voteneg]

Clearly accidents happen, I'm one of them... aaaand to be honest I sure as hell wouldn't want to get stuck with a little me on accident. So I figure if I wait till I'm married I'll at least be in some sort of stable position in my life to deal with a kid even if it wasn't planned... and it'd be better for the child too.

Hmm... I know a lot of married people who have had 'accidental' children also. Having a ring on your finger in no way guarantees that you will be able to care for a child. What if you wait, start a career, get married, have a child and then your career falls apart? It just seems like faulty reasoning to wait, but you're free to do what you want, of course.

Very true. And there are other forms of birth control and or timing that would negate any chance of pregnancy... but I figure I'd just stick to my current path. I'd want my future wife to be a virgin... and so I wouldn't expect that I wouldn't have to be either. To me there is just something romantic about knowing that each of you are each other one and only I guess.

 

I'm much too old fashioned for my own good in some instances.

[makeshyft]

I'm much too old fashioned for my own good in some instances.

No, not at all. I think in your last post you expressed your reasoning a lot more clearly, and I understand where you're coming from, now. Stick with your path, and don't let yourself be forced into anything.

 

However, if something should happen naturally, then don't fight it either. Just go with the flow of life, I suppose.

[voteneg]

 

I'm much too old fashioned for my own good in some instances.

No, not at all. I think in your last post you expressed your reasoning a lot more clearly, and I understand where you're coming from, now. Stick with your path, and don't let yourself be forced into anything.

 

However, if something should happen naturally, then don't fight it either. Just go with the flow of life, I suppose.

Typically my stance on this issue would be indicative of a evangelical conservative.

 

And I am sure I sound like a religious wingnut as a result. The kind that thinks abortion is evil and that women are supposed to be subordinate to men no matter what, and that gays should burn in hell. That couldn't be further from the truth... I'm probably as socially liberal as they come... It's just that I don't allow my personal choices and or taste to influence how I think government should be run... or rather how government should run other peoples lives.

 

Sometimes the more ignorant are surprised that a Liberal can be more "Christian" then your average every day evangelical conservative (USA politics.)

 

and btw "A Clockwork Orange" was a great book/movie. Delightfully twisted.

[Digïtál £vîl]

I'm much too old fashioned for my own good in some instances.

No, not at all. I think in your last post you expressed your reasoning a lot more clearly, and I understand where you're coming from, now. Stick with your path, and don't let yourself be forced into anything.

 

However, if something should happen naturally, then don't fight it either. Just go with the flow of life, I suppose.

Typically my stance on this issue would be indicative of a evangelical conservative.

 

And I am sure I sound like a religious wingnut as a result. The kind that thinks abortion is evil and that women are supposed to be subordinate to men no matter what, and that gays should burn in hell. That couldn't be further from the truth... I'm probably as socially liberal as they come... It's just that I don't allow my personal choices and or taste to influence how I think government should be run... or rather how government should run other peoples lives.

 

Sometimes the more ignorant are surprised that a Liberal can be more "Christian" then your average every day evangelical conservative (USA politics.)

If you are socially liberal you should just turn gay then and the risk of having children drops to below 0%.

 

Problem solved.

[Democrab]

I got a lapdance and almost laid a chick in the same room as, not only her parents, my mum and my friends parents too.

I believe in this story almost as much as I believe in Creationism.

Well, she was drunk, and didn't see the parents walk in.

[makeshyft]

Sometimes the more ignorant are surprised that a Liberal can be more "Christian" then your average every day evangelical conservative (USA politics.)

Yeah, I understand. I have studied US Politics in the past so the brackets were not needed.

 

I don't really think I was ever accusing you of being 'illiberal' though. Nor did I accuse you of being a religious 'nut'. I was just saying that I could understand where you were coming from, and if some type of change happens which alters your 'game plan', then don't fight it, because you may be throwing away something 'good'.

[voteneg]

 

Sometimes the more ignorant are surprised that a Liberal can be more "Christian" then your average every day evangelical conservative (USA politics.)

Yeah, I understand. I have studied US Politics in the past so the brackets were not needed.

 

I don't really think I was ever accusing you of being 'illiberal' though. Nor did I accuse you of being a religious 'nut'. I was just saying that I could understand where you were coming from, and if some type of change happens which alters your 'game plan', then don't fight it, because you may be throwing away something 'good'.

Nah I didnt get that you thought that... however sometimes I feel the need to clarify my position regardless, I've had this discussion before where some feminists launched into a tirade about how I didn't respect womens rights etc etc simply for the fact that I sounded like a Christian conservative.

 

I like to avoid misunderstandings... so a little friendly clarification never hurts.

 

 

If you are socially liberal you should just turn gay then and the risk of having children drops to below 0%.

 

Problem solved. sigh.gif

 

Sadly it doesn't work that way... being GLBT is cool in my book, but I just happen to think the girls are too darn good looking to swing any other way.

Edited May 22, 2008 by voteneg

[makeshyft]

girls are too darn good looking to swing any other way.

Hear hear! So, to get this topic back on track:

 

One of my mates avoided staying the night at a girl's house by sneaking out onto her balcony, jumping off into a tree and climbing down to make his escape. He knew she was a bit horrific.

[darthYENIK]

Once I was at this party and it was crowded, and this girl squeezed past me, and I totally felt her boob on my back. Later that night I jerked off so hard.

[Rhoda]

I was at a Premier Inn bar in Scotland, killing time before the coach came to take me to the airport at 5 AM. I had been kicked out of my room thanks to an unpaid deposit for a longer stay, so I'd been spending well earned money and wasting time since noon. I saw a pretty girl at the bar at that point. Nice face, glasses, great tits. I was feeling shallow enough at that point to judge her on that, and I went over to buy her a drink. She was up for it and we soon started chatting. To my surprise, she invited me back to her room for a "wee bit of a shag" and I nearly spat out my drink. We fell into her room, kissing. She stopped me just short of the bed, placed a finger on my lips, took off her glasses, and went "Now, this is a story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down and I liked to take a minute, just sit right there. I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air. In west Philadelphia born and raised. On the playground was where I spent most of my days! Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool and all shootin' some b-ball outside of the school, when a couple of guys who were up to no good startin' making trouble in my neighborhood! I got in one little fight and my mom got scared, she said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air'. I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I can say this cab is rare but I thought 'Nah, forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air!' I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'. I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there to sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air!"

 

Horrifying.

[psy145]

Once I was at this party and it was crowded, and this girl squeezed past me, and I totally felt her boob on my back. Later that night I jerked off so hard.

idk why but i laughed

[Digïtál £vîl]

 

Once I was at this party and it was crowded, and this girl squeezed past me, and I totally felt her boob on my back.  Later that night I jerked off so hard.

Haha. That reminds me of a time in middle school. I was sitting at a desk against the wall. There was a few inches gap between the wall and my desk. There were some girls sitting behind me laughing and stuff and one of them gets up to walk to the front. They were the popular, good looking ones, so of course I was checking them out when I could. For some reason she chose to walk against the wall in the gap between the desks and the wall instead of in the aisle. Which resulted in her kind of shuffling sideways with her butt sticking out. I didn't know that though as I hadn't looked back for a while. I heard someone walking up against the wall and thought, "WTF?". So I turned (facing toward the wall) to see who was coming up and just as I did so the girl squeezed past me.

 

The result was my face basically going right into her butt as she slid past me. Like thing slow motion butt moving past as a persons face is rubbed in it. *Think along came polly style only without as much hairy fat men involved.*

 

 

 

haha. The weird thing was the girl didn't even flinch or respond to it when it happened. I just sat there stunned and going, "wtf just happened."

 

 

true story.

Edited May 22, 2008 by Digïtál £vîl

[nixxio]

^ You must be lucky. Real Lucky. Sad Nothing like that has ever happened to me

Edited May 22, 2008 by rdbx1234

[makeshyft]

Butt-story

Now, a question of etiquette - as I pass do I give you the ass or the crotch?

[tuff_luv_capo]

Sometimes the more ignorant are surprised that a Liberal can be more "Christian" then your average every day evangelical conservative (USA politics.)

Yeah, I understand. I have studied US Politics in the past so the brackets were not needed.

 

I don't really think I was ever accusing you of being 'illiberal' though. Nor did I accuse you of being a religious 'nut'. I was just saying that I could understand where you were coming from, and if some type of change happens which alters your 'game plan', then don't fight it, because you may be throwing away something 'good'.

Nah I didnt get that you thought that... however sometimes I feel the need to clarify my position regardless, I've had this discussion before where some feminists launched into a tirade about how I didn't respect womens rights etc etc simply for the fact that I sounded like a Christian conservative.

 

I like to avoid misunderstandings... so a little friendly clarification never hurts.

 

 

If you are socially liberal you should just turn gay then and the risk of having children drops to below 0%.

 

Problem solved. sigh.gif

 

Sadly it doesn't work that way... being GLBT is cool in my book, but I just happen to think the girls are too darn good looking to swing any other way.

We get it, you're religious in abstinence because it's a good excuse for being 18 and not getting laid.

 

 

My worst was when the chick was such a dead-f*ck I lost it and had to pretend I had to be somewhere.

[chris cambo]

I was at a Premier Inn bar in Scotland, killing time before the coach came to take me to the airport at 5 AM. I had been kicked out of my room thanks to an unpaid deposit for a longer stay, so I'd been spending well earned money and wasting time since noon. I saw a pretty girl at the bar at that point. Nice face, glasses, great tits. I was feeling shallow enough at that point to judge her on that, and I went over to buy her a drink. She was up for it and we soon started chatting. To my surprise, she invited me back to her room for a "wee bit of a shag" and I nearly spat out my drink. We fell into her room, kissing. She stopped me just short of the bed, placed a finger on my lips, took off her glasses, and went "Now, this is a story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down and I liked to take a minute, just sit right there. I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air. In west Philadelphia born and raised. On the playground was where I spent most of my days! Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool and all shootin' some b-ball outside of the school, when a couple of guys who were up to no good startin' making trouble in my neighborhood! I got in one little fight and my mom got scared, she said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air'. I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I can say this cab is rare but I thought 'Nah, forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air!' I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'. I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there to sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air!"

 

Horrifying.

Awww i got BelAired again

 

I dont know what really counts for this as my experiences are kinda normal , i suppose the most crazy experience was getting a wank of some girl outside macdonalds at 11:30pm, like i said crazy

[Bizzare]

Once blamed God, her Dad and a cat on not getting any, as I led her down on the sofa some bible bashers knocked at the door peddling a religion that promotes sex after marriage, really wasnt the best time to try and convince me, then her dad came back in 5 minutes later and finally her friend aptly named Kat was shouting through the letterbox for tampons. Follow that up with a descending whoooo noise from me to indicate I was no longer interested.

 

In reality the whole fiasco was a lot more memorable than just another case of bumping uglys, dunno if it's a bad thing but I have many stories like this.

[kevin2006rhs]

I have had my ex-girlfriend over these past few days. I dated her when I was in high school (11th grade/junior year). Now, 3 years later, she is the first girl I have in my new bed in my new apartment. I played with her tits a bit and did the whole touchy feely bit. She is on the rag so I have to wait. I am not interested in getting my "red wings" so I am in no huge rush.

 

18y.o., 5'0'', 104lbs, D-cup. Top heavy, but they are so well fit.

 

EDIT: PIC...

Edited May 22, 2008 by kevin2006rhs

[Bernard Jazz]

Neat, I'm sure she'd appreciate you putting her pic up on a forum full of wankers (myself included..)

Back on topic, I've got no interesting stories myself.. but I remember guy here said he had his girlfriend on top and tried to smack her arse, he missed and whacked his balls causing himself to scream in pain / go limp / cry, etc..

[kevin2006rhs]

Neat, I'm sure she'd appreciate you putting her pic up on a forum full of wankers (myself included..)

Back on topic, I've got no interesting stories myself.. but I remember guy here said he had his girlfriend on top and tried to smack her arse, he missed and whacked his balls causing himself to scream in pain / go limp / cry, etc..

What she don't know won't hurt her.

 

Besides, I just pulled that off of her myspace and I don't think her internet navigating ability go beyond MySpace and google anyways. Its not like I am giving out her name and address.