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Google mismatch


raresh_r

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just some minutes ago i wanted to enter google to search for a photo ... i usually type goog and press down because the browser has it in the memory, but now i pressed enter first and went to http://www.goog.com . refresh the page on goog and you'll see some notes ...

how many of you had this problem ? dontgetit.gif

 

 

50 Bucks

 

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year and every year Morris would say, "Esther, I'd like to ride in that airplane."

 

Esther always replied, "I know Morris, but that airplane ride costs 50 bucks, and 50 bucks is 50 bucks."

 

One year Morris and Esther went to the fair and Morris said, "Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that airplane I might never get another chance."

 

Esther replied, "Morris, that airplane ride costs 50 bucks, and 50 bucks is 50 bucks."

 

The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you; but if you say one word it's 50 bucks."

 

Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard. He did all his tricks over again, but still not a word.

 

When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."

 

Morris replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Esther fell out of the airplane, but 50 bucks is 50 bucks.

 

haha this one is better

 

Walking the Dog

 

A little girl asked her Mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?

 

Mom replies, "No, because she is in heat."

 

"What's that mean?" asked the child.

 

"Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage."

 

The little girl goes to the garage and ays, "Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you."

 

Dad said, "Bring Belle over here." He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it and said, "Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block."

 

The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash. Surprised, Dad asked, "Where's Belle?"

 

The little girl said, "She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home."

Edited by raresh_r
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I got this:

 

 

"Dear," said the wife. "What would you do if I died?"

 

"Why, dear, I would be extremely upset," said the husband. "Why do you ask such a question?"

 

"Would you remarry?" persevered the wife. "No, of couse not, dear" said the husband.

 

"Don't you like being married?" said the wife. "Of course I do, dear" he said.

 

"Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

 

"Alright," said the husband, "I'd remarry."

 

"You would?" said the wife, looking vaguely hurt. "Yes" said the husband.

 

"Would you sleep with her in our bed?" said the wife after a long pause.

 

"Well yes, I suppose I would." replied the husband.

 

"I see," said the wife indignantly." And would you let her wear my old clothes?"

 

"I suppose, if she wanted to" said the husband.

 

"Really," said the wife icily. "And would you take down the pictures of me and replace them with pictures of her?"

 

"Yes. I think that would be the correct thing to do."

 

"Is that so?" said the wife, leaping to her feet. "And I suppose you'd let her play with my golf clubs, too."

 

"Of course not, dear," said the husband. "She's left-handed."

 

quite a amusing site smile.gif

New Account - Damien

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Digital Murders

 

Sneaky Drinking 

 

One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the-influence laws.

 

At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Everyone else left the bar and drove off.

 

Finally he started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered the Breathalyzer test.

 

The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be.

 

The driver replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."

 

 

user posted image
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Golf Heaven

 

The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf.

 

So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his Parish.

 

Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church! At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?"

 

The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not."

 

Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. IT WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE!

 

St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why did you let him do that?"

 

The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going to tell?"

 

Ahahahha this is great xD

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spursfan111

This is what came up for me

 

 

An elderly priest invited a young priest over for dinner. During the meal, the young priest couldn't help noticing how attractive and shapely the housekeeper was. Over the course of the evening he started to wonder if there was more between the elderly priest and the housekeeper than met the eye. Reading the young priest's thoughts, the elderly priest volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, my relationship with my housekeeper is purely professional."

 

About a week later the housekeeper came to the elderly priest and said, "Father, ever since the young Father came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose he took it do you?" The priest said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write him a letter just to be sure."

 

So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Father, I'm not saying that you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

 

Several days later the elderly priest received a letter from the young priest which read: "Dear Father, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with your housekeeper, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with your housekeeper. But the fact remains that if you were sleeping in your own bed, you would have found the gravy ladle by now."

 

Quite good actually smile.gif

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