chillwinston8717 Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 (edited) I have noticed in my time here there are some very wise people here, so I would like some insight to the matter I am about to explain. My girlfriend is 15 and she has very strict parents. However lately they have been getting more than strict. She had her parent teacher interviews recently and didn’t go as well as her parents hoped, so they decided to undertake some disciplinary measures. Along with the harsh yet not that unnormal things like her ipod has been taken away, her computer wiped of all music, photos and games, making her take down all her posters in her room, not letting her out to see friends at all and making her follow some sh*tass schedule religiously, and a few other things. What really bothers me are a few other things that happened; her dad hit her, made threats to her, insults her by telling her shes worthless and things like that, and forced her to cut her hair. I told her she should probably get some external help, such as calling kids helpline or something, or possibly even call the police, but she is unwilling to at the moment as she fears it may make things worse. Now I have a few questions to ask; 1. Do you think its worth getting external help about? 2. Does anybody know of the laws on domestic (preferably in Australia), 3. Is it classified as assault to force her to get her hair cut as punishment for her grades? If anybody has any persuasive arguments for her to use on why teenages should be given more freedom, or studies done and statistics found, and why some of the things her parents have done are unreasonable, please post it here. Any help will be appreciated. Thanks Edited April 21, 2008 by chillwinston8717 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lochie_old Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 Wow, thats strict as f*ck. She should really just rebel and sneak out, if her parents hit her then she should ring the police. Those parents sound like f*ckwits. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ludo Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 I don't know about helplines, but there should be someone at school, that she could talk to. 1. There is no harm in it. 2. Hitting someone is surely illegal 3. I don't think that is classed as assault, unless it was forcibly done, then maybe it is assault. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raresh_r Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 hmm she could call the police. if you want to help her, take as many people as you cand and protest in front of her house. if the police comes tell them everything and they will do something to help (but you will probably be penalized) those aren't parents, they don't have the right to cut her hair ... call Child's rights. and she will have a foster family Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chillwinston8717 Posted April 21, 2008 Author Share Posted April 21, 2008 hmm she could call the police. if you want to help her, take as many people as you cand and protest in front of her house. if the police comes tell them everything and they will do something to help (but you will probably be penalized) those aren't parents, they don't have the right to cut her hair ... call Child's rights. and she will have a foster family I dont think she wants to get a foster family... I don't know if I made it out to sound worse, but they didnt shave her whole head. It was pretty long and they made her get it cut to around shoulder length with fringe gone. And the hitting wasnt a brutal beating, but it wasn't some little sissy slap on the wrist either. And how would protesting help... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raresh_r Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 don't know just try it ... does she looks hotter with shorter hair ? hmm what kind of problems does she have in school ? only grades ? if so, help her to learn, talk to the teachers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-slash Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 Hitting your kid is child abuse. Considering that a smack on the arse will get a parent in trouble these days, if it were me and I got backhanded (especially with the culmination of other things) I'd go to the police. Would knock some sense into the parents anyway, and I bet they'd never try punishment again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trows Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 I have the feeling there is more than just low grades that lead to this 'abuse'. If i'm right, then good work on the dad for actually giving some hard hitting (pun non intended ) discipline. There just isn't enough out there that will actually make a difference to kids these days. We're going to end up having the world run by kids with no real boundries. Society has already tumbled and is falling. Though, if the reasoning is something as lame as 'bad grades', then the 'abuse' is out of line. But if she sees that having her hair cut to shoulder length that big of a deal, enough to try and make some sort of case out of it... I don't think she's been disciplined enough. No dough this post will get questions and and maybe even some fighting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chillwinston8717 Posted April 21, 2008 Author Share Posted April 21, 2008 I have the feeling there is more than just low grades that lead to this 'abuse'. If i'm right, then good work on the dad for actually giving some hard hitting (pun non intended ) discipline. There just isn't enough out there that will actually make a difference to kids these days. We're going to end up having the world run by kids with no real boundries. Society has already tumbled and is falling. Though, if the reasoning is something as lame as 'bad grades', then the 'abuse' is out of line. But if she sees that having her hair cut to shoulder length that big of a deal, enough to try and make some sort of case out of it... I don't think she's been disciplined enough. The abuse stemed from and arguement which started because of what they were making her do as a result of bad grades. She doesnt do drugs, or sleep around, or wag school, or shoplift or any other bullsh*t that could actually be considered 'serious' enough for some serious discipline. And this isn't about discipline; she isn't 5. It isn't a smack on the bum cause shes doing the wrong thing, its as a result of him loosing his anger and actually striking her. And you are missing the point with the hair. Whilst it isn't the mean deal, its the fact that she didn't want to get her hair cut yet they forced her to anyhow. Also I just noticed I said friend in the OP because I copied/pasted this from what I already wrote somewhere else and thats what I wanted to say. Shes actually my girlfriend. And her parents don't know about it cause they wouldn't let her date. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nutboy Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 I have the feeling there is more than just low grades that lead to this 'abuse'. If i'm right, then good work on the dad for actually giving some hard hitting (pun non intended ) discipline. There just isn't enough out there that will actually make a difference to kids these days. We're going to end up having the world run by kids with no real boundries. Society has already tumbled and is falling. Though, if the reasoning is something as lame as 'bad grades', then the 'abuse' is out of line. But if she sees that having her hair cut to shoulder length that big of a deal, enough to try and make some sort of case out of it... I don't think she's been disciplined enough. The abuse stemed from and arguement which started because of what they were making her do as a result of bad grades. She doesnt do drugs, or sleep around, or wag school, or shoplift or any other bullsh*t that could actually be considered 'serious' enough for some serious discipline. And this isn't about discipline; she isn't 5. It isn't a smack on the bum cause shes doing the wrong thing, its as a result of him loosing his anger and actually striking her. And you are missing the point with the hair. Whilst it isn't the mean deal, its the fact that she didn't want to get her hair cut yet they forced her to anyhow. Also I just noticed I said friend in the OP because I copied/pasted this from what I already wrote somewhere else and thats what I wanted to say. Shes actually my girlfriend. And her parents don't know about it cause they wouldn't let her date. My parents lose their anger and hit me all the time but when I was 5 they came and apoligized later. These days they just hit me and they I might get banned from something and then the next day its like nothing happend..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Transparanoia Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 She should contact another close family member. A close grandparent perhaps? I've known a couple people who have had problems at home so they get out of their parent's house and moved in the grandparents and been perfectly happy. Kids Helpline is another option, but I think the best option is to get her out of that environment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jebness Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 ^ Close family sounds like a good idea, better yet, whats her mum like? This sounds like your classic yobbo dad. Whatever you do, don't let him find out about you because if hes anything like I'm imagining, sh*t will be flying. Me, I would get her to dob to the child services on him, no point living with a prick who hits women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chillwinston8717 Posted April 21, 2008 Author Share Posted April 21, 2008 He isn't a constant woman-beater; it happened a little bit when she was younger, and happened again because of this, but it isn't like he beats her to a pulp. Her mum also slapped her on the face, but obviously it doesn't have the same effect as her dad hitting her. Moving out isn't an option, she still loves her parents and it's not like they are raging violent people. What we want to do is try put together a convincing arguement to why she should be getting more freedom and telling her parents what they have been doing is wrong. If they continue to refuse to budge, then maybe she will threaten them with involving some sort of authority. But running away and living with relatives isn't an option right now. I said she can stay here for a short while if she just needs to get away from it for a couple of days, but i seriously doubt that will happen because of the repercussion that will result. @jebness: Normally her mum is the least strict out of the two, but at the moment the difference isn't noticeable. Thanks for the help so far fellas, I've been feeling rather sh*t not being able to do much except support her through this, and if anybody has some ideas we can put into her arguement for reasons she should be given more freedom and why, it would be much appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raresh_r Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 higher a psychiatric or psychiatrist (are both the same ?) so her parents talk to her and the psy... consult them ... do you understand what i'm saying ? this is the best option i think ... they can resolve problems between couples (my brother with his gf went to one ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tornado Rex Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 Hitting your kid is child abuse. Considering that a smack on the arse will get a parent in trouble these days, if it were me and I got backhanded (especially with the culmination of other things) I'd go to the police. Would knock some sense into the parents anyway, and I bet they'd never try punishment again. You do realize that if you go to the police/child services and claim child abuse it's not as simple as them giving your parents a stern talking-to right? They open investigations, randomly drop by, interview you tons of times, medical exams, lawyers, etc and if all that pans out you get put in a foster home. Either that or nothing. @chill TBH there's really nothing she can do. I guess she could call child services if she wants to go that route, but like I said above she better really want to get out of there. Some parents are strict. That's the bottom line. She's living in their house, eating their food, using their water, electricity, heat, AC, etc. The way I see their rules go. Yep, they might be strict but that's their prerogative. And no, cutting her hair isn't a big deal. Boo f*cking hoo, she didn't want to get her hair cut. It'll grow back. Sorry to be so harsh but that's the way life is. It sucks but you deal with it. ~ Proud Supporter of the Child's Play Charity! | GTANET + Child's Play ~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryuclan Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 Well i can undertand a whoopin when it's necessary, sh*t I know a lot of kids these days that just need a nice ass whoopin (and I ain't talkin about no punk ass spanking neither), but verbal abuse is never the way. I'd say she talks to her teacher. He/she must have said something they didn't want to hear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oblivionz Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 That's pretty f*cked up. Wiping her PC of music/photos, etc? That's just stupid, and completely un-needed, especially if they're not even going to allow her on the computer at the time. It's classed as assault to hit her though, tell her to call the police or some sort of child line. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tuff_luv_capo Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 Well I know from experience that feeling helpless by a friend's ill-treating parents isn't always right. My highschool girlfriend was abused by her dad, and had strict as hell parents, but behind closed doors I discovered she was a freaking hellion. I learned sh*t about her later that made me put myself in her parents shoes, and I felt kinda naive from trying to help her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1066ant Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 Well I know from experience that feeling helpless by a friend's ill-treating parents isn't always right. My highschool girlfriend was abused by her dad, and had strict as hell parents, but behind closed doors I discovered she was a freaking hellion. I learned sh*t about her later that made me put myself in her parents shoes, and I felt kinda naive from trying to help her. Yeah, ChillWinston said her school wasn't going too good, how bad is it? If shes not even trying its her own fault. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Girish Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 Just be glad your girlfriend isn't Indian. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommyAngelo Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 What state in Australia you in? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mufc Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 Just be glad your girlfriend isn't Indian. You dirty rascist there's nothing wrong with Indian people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Girish Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 Just be glad your girlfriend isn't Indian. You dirty rascist there's nothing wrong with Indian people. What's this got to do with racism? And I myself am an Indian. And FYI, you don't have any idea what it's like to have a girlfriend who comes from a conservative family and brings a load of restrictions along with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigmamatuna Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 What people today call "strict" people of the old days call "good parenting". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Statutory Ray Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 What people today call "strict" people of the old days call "good parenting". Yeah, the great parenting of past generations really shines through when you consider how utterly f*cked the world is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigmamatuna Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 What people today call "strict" people of the old days call "good parenting". Yeah, the great parenting of past generations really shines through when you consider how utterly f*cked the world is. My parents are some of the best people I know. And their upbringing brought about my good up bringing. Don't be angry at me because your parents are dirty, pot smoking fags. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Creed Bratton Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 Parents like that, she must have done something wrong or they just have a death wish. If the second one is the case, get external help called: exterminator (aka hitman, hired gun, assassin etc.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryuclan Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 What people today call "strict" people of the old days call "good parenting". Yeah, the great parenting of past generations really shines through when you consider how utterly f*cked the world is. My parents are some of the best people I know. And their upbringing brought about my good up bringing. Don't be angry at me because your parents are dirty, pot smoking fags. lol I'm tellin you, the kids of today just need that olld fashion ass whoopin. Tell him/her to go get a switch from that tree outside, matter fact two. Thats good parenting, people are wrapping their kids in f*cking bubble wrap these days. No wonder the world is going to sh*t. Since you don't know what your girl's school situation is really looking like it is hard for you as an outsider to pass judgement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Tequeli Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 Its scientifically proven that in the end beating your kids is a really bad idea in terms of effective parenting etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryuclan Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 Its scientifically proven that in the end beating your kids is a really bad idea in terms of effective parenting etc. lol I guess. But whooping and beating are two totally different things. I got my ass whooped when I crossed the line and I am better for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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