BullseyeSBT Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 Post Your Story Ideas For My Mod Here It Would Break My Heart if My Topic Was Locked Due To Story ideas posted in the mod showroom There will Be a Link to both threads in my signiture Good Luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cubanwhip Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 Just reposting my storyline outline from the other thread here: "Ray arrives as a transfer cop from Carcer City. He arrives at the Staunton Station, greeted by his asshole Police Chief, Gary Schaffer, and immediately can tell he is going to hate being here. His first few jobs involve keeping the peace between the growing Yakuza and the powerful Staunton Triads. While trying to keep the order, he finds out that a Mafia war erupts in Little Italy. Gary tells Ray that he shouldn't get involved, and to just let it die out (But the truth is that Gary is supplying the Leones and ensuring their victory in the war). Ray disobeys Gary and gets involved. Gary suspends Ray for a unsaid amount of time, and while laid off, Ray infiltrates the families and tries to arrest the bosses. But as the final standoff between the bosses occur, the police make a raid and all of Ray's work goes down the pipe. Gary brings backs Ray and "congratulates" Ray on the amazing undercover work (Gary had planned on raiding the boss standoff, but had no alibi as to how the police found out, so he uses Ray as the excuse being an undercover cop). Ray is let back on, and Portland opens up. Gary's first instructions to Ray are to meet a contact in Harwood. The contact being Leon McAffrey, and Ray's first impression is that Leon is corrupt, and takes a disliking to him. McAffrey sends Ray on several errands that Ray thinks are innocent nothings, but Ray catches McAffrey making acquaintances with Los Vatons leader, Jose Slenns. Ray is appaled and finds out that he had been running drugs under his nose without his knowledge. Ray uses his past knowledges about the locations he was sent to and starts to slowly take them out. As he does this without McAffrey knowing, Los Vatons blame the Portland Triads, and start a war throughout the entire island of Portland. Ray goes back to Staunton and tells Gary that McAffrey might be a corrupt detective, but Gary doesn't believe him and dismisses his accusations and explains that the Sindaccos and Yakuza have formed a weak alliance to take out the Staunton Triads and Gary has told you that you have to make sure that "nothing happens to disrupt order". Ray later finds out that the Yakuza, Sindaccos, and Staunton Triads are meeting to work out an agreement, and sets up an ambush. Gary, angry at Ray for disrupting the meeting (Gary was forming a deal with the gangs to give him a cut of the drug and arms profits) cast him off to Shoreside Vale. Stuck in Shoreside Vale, Ray quickly finds out he is not welcome by Harley's Angels and is captured by them. Harley is paranoid that the cops are after him and his gang and questions Ray. Ray has no idea about anything and that he was sent here without a known reason. Harley explains how Gary is a corrupt officer and it's made clear that the antagonist of the game is Gary Schaffer. After being released, Ray gets a call from a worried McAffrey and asked to meet him at his home in Pike Creek. McAffrey explains that after the war in Portland, he barely made it out alive and is hiding in Shoreside. Ray still dislikes him and does not believe a word he says and acts resentful towards him. McAffrey pleads for help but Ray refuses to help him at all and leaves. Ray then gets a call from Gary about a hostile mob in Pike Creek made up of Russians and to go check it out. Ray is suspicious of Gary and arrives at a Russian bar and enters it cautiously. Immediately, he is shot at and escapes from the bar. The Russians chase him around and Ray looses them, and returns back to McAffrey, only to help him if he helps him take down the Russians. Gary and McAffrey eventually take out the Russians and returns back to the waiting police chief. Gary finds out about the mess in Shoreside and immediately fires Ray, but pardons McAffrey. Ray is then left to the streets of Liberty and is forced to expose Gary for the corrupt chief he is. Ray uses local contacts and businesses to find out about Gary and what he does, and eventually gains enough evidence to expose him. Gary realizes this and sends the Staunton Triad after him to rub him out. A huge shootout occurs near the Stadium and Ray finds out Gary is skipping town. He speeds down to the station to see the helicopter taking off from the roof. He jumps into the nearest car and gives chase. He chases the helicopter throughout Staunton and to the airport at Shoreside where he looses the helicopter as it flies off north to Carcer. Gary disappears and a new police chief is hired. Ray is hired back on and promoted to Detective for his excellent work. The game ends with Ray vowing to clean the streets and never become corrupt." And the introduction/opening: Intro: [Cutscene] The screen fades into a plane landing in Francis International with the song, “Born in the U.S.A” playing softly in the background. The plane comes to a stop and the screen fades. [Cutscene] A man steps out of the airport wearing a tropical shirt and khaki slacks. He gets into an LCPD cruiser and the screen fades. [Cutscene] The cruiser comes to a stop outside the Staunton Police Station and the man gets out. He walks up the main steps of the station and the screen fades. [Cutscene] The man walks up to a counter and looks at the clerk. The clerk looks up at him. Clerk: May I help you? Man: I just transferred here. [Pulls out a piece of paper] Clerk: [Takes the papers] Oh, so you’re the new guy, Ray Machowski. The Chief wanted to see you when you first got in. He’s in the last room on your right down this hallway. Ray walks down the hallway and opens the door. The screen fades. [Cutscene] A man has his legs up on his desk and is laughing into a phone. He sees Ray walk in and says goodbye, then hangs up. He straightens out in his chair and clears his throat. Man: You Machowski? Ray: Yeah, are you the Chief? Gary: Yes, Police Chief Gary Schaffer. I run this station here on Staunton. You’re the guy that transferred from Vice, aren’t you? Ray: Yes. Gary: Have a seat! No need to stand! Ray: [Takes a seat in a nearby chair] Gary: So Ray Machowski, how was Vice? Ray: Well, you know. War torn swamp- Gary: Forget it. Liberty City is on another level. Liberty City breeds criminals. I have gathered information that four out of every five people, is a criminal. Ray: Sir, that seems a little- Gary: Are you doubting me Machowski? Ray: No sir… Gary: Good. You know how to respect your superiors. I like that. God, I can’t tell you how many transfers I’ve fired for disobedience. Ray: I can only imagine… Gary: Machowski, if there’s one thing you gotta know to survive, its respect and loyalty. Know what I mean? Ray: Yes sir… [Grumbles] Gary: I left you your uniform in the locker room downstairs. I want you to go put it on and meet a man named Philler Moore in the armory. He should set you up with a gun. Ray: [stands up and starts walking towards the door] Gary: And Machowski. Ray: [Turns around] Yeah? Gary: You only have one chance, don’t f*ck it up. Now get out of here. Ray: [Walks out the door and the screen fades] [End of Cutscene] [Gameplay] The instructions on how to move your character show up. Once you got the controls down, head down the hallway and down the stairs one floor. Go inside the locker room and change into your standard black police uniform. Leave the locker room and head down the hallway into the armory. A cutscene should start up once you step into it. [Cutscene] A man is firing a gun and Ray walks up behind him and taps him on the shoulder. The man turns around and shakes Ray’s hand. Philler: Nice to meet you. The name’s Philler. Ray: Ray Machowski. Philler: Alright Ray, you ever fire a gun before? Ray: I just got transferred here; I’m not some rookie cop that doesn’t know what he’s doing. Philler: Then show me what you got! [End of Cutscene] [Gameplay] You are standing in the booth of a firing range. A target appears with the instructions “Shoot the target down”. Once you shoot it down, a moving target appears. Shoot it down and three still targets appear with the instructions, “Lock onto each target and shoot them in consecutive order”. Once you shoot those three down, three moving ones appear and once you shoot those down, the screen fades. [Cutscene] Philler comes down and shakes your hand once again, this time enthusiastically. Philler: Hey man, that was some great shooting. If you ever run out of ammo, just come down here to restock, or if you lose your gun, just stop here to get a new one. Ray: Thanks. [Ray walks off as the camera fades] [End of Cutscene] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Claude GTA3 Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 is Philler supposed to be Phil Cassidy from III? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cubanwhip Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 Nah. This mod takes place in Liberty in 1987. Phil is still in VC with Tommy. Philler is just...filler ha. He's just another cop. No one from the series. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Claude GTA3 Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 Nah. This mod takes place in Liberty in 1987. Phil is still in VC with Tommy. Philler is just...filler ha. He's just another cop. No one from the series. Good, cuz' I hate philler characters. That was some brilliant writing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
23rocks Posted April 15, 2008 Share Posted April 15, 2008 Confronts of china town by 23rocks New mission i wrote So enjoy intro cutscene of mission (guy walks up to ray) Guy: hey man, you're the cop right?? Ray: yeah, i'm new to the force Guy: Hey, could you help me out? Ray: What do you need? Guy: i need my car back, Dam Triads stole it when i was in noodles. Ray: what kind of car? Guy: a brand new red sentintal can't miss it Ray: alright wait here i'll be back Guy: Don't scratch it! (ray sees the guys with the car) Ray: hey, put you're hands on your head Thug: What f*ck is this sh*t Ray: i said put you're hands on your head now! Thug2: Man, f*ck this the thugs start runing (ray runs after the thugs) to a certain point if you're close enuff to them, cops will sorround them Ray goes back to the car if you scratch it you have to respray it ray takes the car back to the guy Guy: Thanks man, here take this cash Ray: nah, i can't Guy: no no please take it Ray, i can't Guy: well stop by my car shop you can use my car anytime mission passed from now on a red sentinal will appear in the car shop parkin lot for you to freely use. well that's what i got maybe i can be like a cop mission or something -23rocks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cubanwhip Posted April 15, 2008 Share Posted April 15, 2008 Here's what the first mission was that I planned: [Gameplay] You’re standing inside the armory with a pistol in hand. Head upstairs and out of the station. Get into the nearby Admiral and a radio announcement comes on. Radio: Liberty News… Machinery failure strikes the newly constructed Ferry Station on Northern Staunton. Transport between Portland and Staunton is impossible at the moment. And in other news, the in construction lift bridge to Shoreside Vale is nearing completion. Tired of using that dingy underground tunnel to get home? Patience is a virtue as they say! This has been Liberty News, updating you with the latest. Instructions appear at the bottom of the screen, “Head down to your brand new home”. Follow the blip on your radar to your home in Little Italy. Step inside and save. You’ll find a one car garage right outside. On the radar is a “G” for Gary. You can either take your time to explore Staunton or go ahead to start Gary’s mission. [Fade to Black] "Only The Caged Canary Sings” [Cutscene] Ray knocks on Gary’s door and Gary lets him in. Ray takes a seat and leans back into the chair while staring at Gary. Gary: Hey, look Machowski, I don’t want to get off on the wrong foot. You seem to already detest me, and sure I would expect it for new rookies, but don’t be intimidated. Just think of me as your safety net. Ray: Alright…sir. Gary: Good. See? We can all be friends. [Pulls out a folder] Anyways, we got this new Jap gang that is making its home in Bedford Point. It looks like it wants to be a big shot. Ray: Alright, what do you propose, sir? Gary: My first immediate thought is that they are going to compete with the local Triad gang here in Staunton. You know those lemonheads are. They see someone from the same country as direct competition. Forget all about the Italians. Ray: Sir, don’t you think you’re being a bit of a racist? Gary: Machowski, did I ask your opinion? [Drops the folder on the desk] Look, all I want you to do is arrest an informant. He’s relaying info between some traitorous Triads and the Yakuza. Bring him here. Ray: [stands up] Where do I find him? Gary: Let me check… [Opens the folder and skims through the papers] He likes to hang out around that newly built Five Star Casino down the street. If his gambling skills parallel his loyalty, then man, he must be in the red like a mother f*cker. Ray: [Walks out of the office and the screen fades] [End of Cutscene] [Gameplay] Hope into the nearby Admiral and drive down the street to the newly built casino. Park in the marker and a cutscene should start up. [Cutscene] A Banshee pulls out of the garage and goes up around the driveway, out the front past you. The cutscene fades. [Gameplay] Follow the car out of Torrington to make sure no Triads will see you. When you’re out of Torrington, start ramming his car and it will speed off. Keep on its tail and ram it until he jumps out of the car. Get out of your car and punch him until a cutscene starts. [Cutscene] Ray has his knee dug into the informants back with a gun to his head. He digs the gun into his temple and bends over. Ray: You the traitor? Informant: What? What are you talking about?! You filthy pig! Ray: [beats the informant unconscious and throws him into the back of the Admiral. The screen fades] [Gameplay] Make your way back to the police station and park the Admiral around the back. Mission Passed! You will now generate $150 daily in front of the Staunton Police Station Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BullseyeSBT Posted April 15, 2008 Author Share Posted April 15, 2008 Confronts of china town by 23rocks New mission i wrote So enjoy intro cutscene of mission (guy walks up to ray) Guy: hey man, you're the cop right?? Ray: yeah, i'm new to the force Guy: Hey, could you help me out? Ray: What do you need? Guy: i need my car back, Dam Triads stole it when i was in noodles. Ray: what kind of car? Guy: a brand new red sentintal can't miss it Ray: alright wait here i'll be back Guy: Don't scratch it! (ray sees the guys with the car) Ray: hey, put you're hands on your head Thug: What f*ck is this sh*t Ray: i said put you're hands on your head now! Thug2: Man, f*ck this the thugs start runing (ray runs after the thugs) to a certain point if you're close enuff to them, cops will sorround them Ray goes back to the car if you scratch it you have to respray it ray takes the car back to the guy Guy: Thanks man, here take this cash Ray: nah, i can't Guy: no no please take it Ray, i can't Guy: well stop by my car shop you can use my car anytime mission passed from now on a red sentinal will appear in the car shop parkin lot for you to freely use. well that's what i got maybe i can be like a cop mission or something -23rocks that will be in the story thanks for your contributions "23rocks" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
t3hgillyknows Posted April 15, 2008 Share Posted April 15, 2008 Hey Junior, I don't get it? Is Cubanwhip the main script writer? Or not? He seems to have a really good, solid plan for the entire plot, and you have failed to acknowledge his existence in the mod, even in the other topic, aside from you wanting Ray from Vice City instead of Carcer. Plus, 23rocks mission doesn't really fit into Ray being a cop. It just seems so "out-in-left-field". Plus, I can barely understand what's going on in it. It would make more sense as a cop side mission, not part of the main story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
23rocks Posted April 15, 2008 Share Posted April 15, 2008 May's Way New mission i wrote based off the other dudes story intro: Ray walks into station (ray see's a man in a office yelling at gary) Man: No gary i'm tired of this sh*t! Gary: May you better sit your *ss down before i deport you! (the man sits down) Gary: now you better not even think about that case you are off of it hear me off! Man: This bullsh*t (gary see's ray) gary: now get your A*s outa here gary: Ray,ray, how are you doing come in Ray: whats that about? Gary: don't worry about its just some wako ray: well, what ever you say (fades out and in) rays outside walking and may runs up May: hey, ray, right? Ray: yeah, what? may: hey, i need you to help me Ray: with what? may: i need you to drive me to the subway i need to catch that snake hawkins Ray: hey, he told you not to mess with that guy. May: I found that Hawkins is makeing a deal today i need to follow him Ray: Well, i guess i can drive you to the subwat but not a word to cheif ok, May: aright, no one will know about it i swear Ray: hey, whats your name? may: it's Zac May (ray drives Zac to the subway) Ray: ok see ya, Zac Zac: aright, but i promiss i won't squeel mission passed a little bit later the radio stops and news come on Lady: in resent news local police officer Zac May was found dead last night in the sea near the airport with bullet wounds to the chest and was drowned to death, Head cheif Schaffer says he knows nothing about the matter and that he wish's mays family the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saltinespike Posted April 15, 2008 Share Posted April 15, 2008 EDIT: Nevermind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BullseyeSBT Posted April 15, 2008 Author Share Posted April 15, 2008 Just reposting my storyline outline from the other thread here: "Ray arrives as a transfer cop from Carcer City. He arrives at the Staunton Station, greeted by his asshole Police Chief, Gary Schaffer, and immediately can tell he is going to hate being here. His first few jobs involve keeping the peace between the growing Yakuza and the powerful Staunton Triads. While trying to keep the order, he finds out that a Mafia war erupts in Little Italy. Gary tells Ray that he shouldn't get involved, and to just let it die out (But the truth is that Gary is supplying the Leones and ensuring their victory in the war). Ray disobeys Gary and gets involved. Gary suspends Ray for a unsaid amount of time, and while laid off, Ray infiltrates the families and tries to arrest the bosses. But as the final standoff between the bosses occur, the police make a raid and all of Ray's work goes down the pipe. Gary brings backs Ray and "congratulates" Ray on the amazing undercover work (Gary had planned on raiding the boss standoff, but had no alibi as to how the police found out, so he uses Ray as the excuse being an undercover cop). Ray is let back on, and Portland opens up. Gary's first instructions to Ray are to meet a contact in Harwood. The contact being Leon McAffrey, and Ray's first impression is that Leon is corrupt, and takes a disliking to him. McAffrey sends Ray on several errands that Ray thinks are innocent nothings, but Ray catches McAffrey making acquaintances with Los Vatons leader, Jose Slenns. Ray is appaled and finds out that he had been running drugs under his nose without his knowledge. Ray uses his past knowledges about the locations he was sent to and starts to slowly take them out. As he does this without McAffrey knowing, Los Vatons blame the Portland Triads, and start a war throughout the entire island of Portland. Ray goes back to Staunton and tells Gary that McAffrey might be a corrupt detective, but Gary doesn't believe him and dismisses his accusations and explains that the Sindaccos and Yakuza have formed a weak alliance to take out the Staunton Triads and Gary has told you that you have to make sure that "nothing happens to disrupt order". Ray later finds out that the Yakuza, Sindaccos, and Staunton Triads are meeting to work out an agreement, and sets up an ambush. Gary, angry at Ray for disrupting the meeting (Gary was forming a deal with the gangs to give him a cut of the drug and arms profits) cast him off to Shoreside Vale. Stuck in Shoreside Vale, Ray quickly finds out he is not welcome by Harley's Angels and is captured by them. Harley is paranoid that the cops are after him and his gang and questions Ray. Ray has no idea about anything and that he was sent here without a known reason. Harley explains how Gary is a corrupt officer and it's made clear that the antagonist of the game is Gary Schaffer. After being released, Ray gets a call from a worried McAffrey and asked to meet him at his home in Pike Creek. McAffrey explains that after the war in Portland, he barely made it out alive and is hiding in Shoreside. Ray still dislikes him and does not believe a word he says and acts resentful towards him. McAffrey pleads for help but Ray refuses to help him at all and leaves. Ray then gets a call from Gary about a hostile mob in Pike Creek made up of Russians and to go check it out. Ray is suspicious of Gary and arrives at a Russian bar and enters it cautiously. Immediately, he is shot at and escapes from the bar. The Russians chase him around and Ray looses them, and returns back to McAffrey, only to help him if he helps him take down the Russians. Gary and McAffrey eventually take out the Russians and returns back to the waiting police chief. Gary finds out about the mess in Shoreside and immediately fires Ray, but pardons McAffrey. Ray is then left to the streets of Liberty and is forced to expose Gary for the corrupt chief he is. Ray uses local contacts and businesses to find out about Gary and what he does, and eventually gains enough evidence to expose him. Gary realizes this and sends the Staunton Triad after him to rub him out. A huge shootout occurs near the Stadium and Ray finds out Gary is skipping town. He speeds down to the station to see the helicopter taking off from the roof. He jumps into the nearest car and gives chase. He chases the helicopter throughout Staunton and to the airport at Shoreside where he looses the helicopter as it flies off north to Carcer. Gary disappears and a new police chief is hired. Ray is hired back on and promoted to Detective for his excellent work. The game ends with Ray vowing to clean the streets and never become corrupt." And the introduction/opening: Intro: [Cutscene] The screen fades into a plane landing in Francis International with the song, “Born in the U.S.A” playing softly in the background. The plane comes to a stop and the screen fades. [Cutscene] A man steps out of the airport wearing a tropical shirt and khaki slacks. He gets into an LCPD cruiser and the screen fades. [Cutscene] The cruiser comes to a stop outside the Staunton Police Station and the man gets out. He walks up the main steps of the station and the screen fades. [Cutscene] The man walks up to a counter and looks at the clerk. The clerk looks up at him. Clerk: May I help you? Man: I just transferred here. [Pulls out a piece of paper] Clerk: [Takes the papers] Oh, so you’re the new guy, Ray Machowski. The Chief wanted to see you when you first got in. He’s in the last room on your right down this hallway. Ray walks down the hallway and opens the door. The screen fades. [Cutscene] A man has his legs up on his desk and is laughing into a phone. He sees Ray walk in and says goodbye, then hangs up. He straightens out in his chair and clears his throat. Man: You Machowski? Ray: Yeah, are you the Chief? Gary: Yes, Police Chief Gary Schaffer. I run this station here on Staunton. You’re the guy that transferred from Vice, aren’t you? Ray: Yes. Gary: Have a seat! No need to stand! Ray: [Takes a seat in a nearby chair] Gary: So Ray Machowski, how was Vice? Ray: Well, you know. War torn swamp- Gary: Forget it. Liberty City is on another level. Liberty City breeds criminals. I have gathered information that four out of every five people, is a criminal. Ray: Sir, that seems a little- Gary: Are you doubting me Machowski? Ray: No sir… Gary: Good. You know how to respect your superiors. I like that. God, I can’t tell you how many transfers I’ve fired for disobedience. Ray: I can only imagine… Gary: Machowski, if there’s one thing you gotta know to survive, its respect and loyalty. Know what I mean? Ray: Yes sir… [Grumbles] Gary: I left you your uniform in the locker room downstairs. I want you to go put it on and meet a man named Philler Moore in the armory. He should set you up with a gun. Ray: [stands up and starts walking towards the door] Gary: And Machowski. Ray: [Turns around] Yeah? Gary: You only have one chance, don’t f*ck it up. Now get out of here. Ray: [Walks out the door and the screen fades] [End of Cutscene] [Gameplay] The instructions on how to move your character show up. Once you got the controls down, head down the hallway and down the stairs one floor. Go inside the locker room and change into your standard black police uniform. Leave the locker room and head down the hallway into the armory. A cutscene should start up once you step into it. [Cutscene] A man is firing a gun and Ray walks up behind him and taps him on the shoulder. The man turns around and shakes Ray’s hand. Philler: Nice to meet you. The name’s Philler. Ray: Ray Machowski. Philler: Alright Ray, you ever fire a gun before? Ray: I just got transferred here; I’m not some rookie cop that doesn’t know what he’s doing. Philler: Then show me what you got! [End of Cutscene] [Gameplay] You are standing in the booth of a firing range. A target appears with the instructions “Shoot the target down”. Once you shoot it down, a moving target appears. Shoot it down and three still targets appear with the instructions, “Lock onto each target and shoot them in consecutive order”. Once you shoot those three down, three moving ones appear and once you shoot those down, the screen fades. [Cutscene] Philler comes down and shakes your hand once again, this time enthusiastically. Philler: Hey man, that was some great shooting. If you ever run out of ammo, just come down here to restock, or if you lose your gun, just stop here to get a new one. Ray: Thanks. [Ray walks off as the camera fades] [End of Cutscene] Ray Has Been Away in vice city and and he returns from a break in '87 he has been a cop sinse the late 60's Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BullseyeSBT Posted April 16, 2008 Author Share Posted April 16, 2008 May's Way New mission i wrote based off the other dudes story intro: Ray walks into station (ray see's a man in a office yelling at gary) Man: No gary i'm tired of this sh*t! Gary: May you better sit your *ss down before i deport you! (the man sits down) Gary: now you better not even think about that case you are off of it hear me off! Man: This bullsh*t (gary see's ray) gary: now get your A*s outa here gary: Ray,ray, how are you doing come in Ray: whats that about? Gary: don't worry about its just some wako ray: well, what ever you say (fades out and in) rays outside walking and may runs up May: hey, ray, right? Ray: yeah, what? may: hey, i need you to help me Ray: with what? may: i need you to drive me to the subway i need to catch that snake hawkins Ray: hey, he told you not to mess with that guy. May: I found that Hawkins is makeing a deal today i need to follow him Ray: Well, i guess i can drive you to the subwat but not a word to cheif ok, May: aright, no one will know about it i swear Ray: hey, whats your name? may: it's Zac May (ray drives Zac to the subway) Ray: ok see ya, Zac Zac: aright, but i promiss i won't squeel mission passed a little bit later the radio stops and news come on Lady: in resent news local police officer Zac May was found dead last night in the sea near the airport with bullet wounds to the chest and was drowned to death, Head cheif Schaffer says he knows nothing about the matter and that he wish's mays family the best. Another fabtastic piece 23rocks keep up the good work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QwertyAAA Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 Junior, so i don't get it. What's with my outline? Anyway, after you get the armored car, you unlock 2 strands - the Heist and the Ending. To unlock the second Ending mission, you have to complete the Heists. In the Heist, you have to rob the bank in the Flatiron building. To do it - 1. In the first mission, you have to steal a helicopter from the army base. to do that, you have to get the uniform by breaking into the SSV police building, going to the Staunton base in a Patriot, and running to the helicopter, and then getting it back to the base. 2. In the second mission, you have to get some equipment for the robbery, like, guns and bulletproof vests. For that, you have to steal a crate of the stuff with the heli magnet from a moving truck. Think "High Wire". Then, you deliver it to the base with 4 stars. 3. In the third one, you get explosives. That is actually easy - you have to drive a giant truck to 8-Ball's place and drive it back to SSV without getting hit. Or hitting something. The enemy gang members who could drive-by you are shown as blips. 4. The big robbery. Here, you very simply have to wear a mask and stuff and: A. You get to the bank. B. More precisely - you drive to the bank in a firetruck full of explosives. C. You get out and blow it up. D. You go through the gaping hole in the building and get through it to the vault while some bastards are shooting at you. E. You shoot the guy near it to make him realize that you need access to the vault and he knows the code. So, to near-death. F. Your mates steal the money and try to get to the roof, where you have to meet your friend in a heli. G. That's all racing the "Structural Integrity" timer and fighting off the armed guys. H. Oh, and you have to go AROUND the places with stairs missing due to the explosion. I. After you get to the roof, your level becomes 6 instead of 5. J. Your friend dies, shot by a heli that you destroy in a cutscene moments later. K. Your other friends get into the heli. I recommend taking the Sparrow or the VCN Maverick and replacing it with a 4-person Cargobob. L. The heli is damaged after the bullets hit in the cutscene. M. An Army Sea Sparrow appears. N. Yeah, it's shooting your heli. O. You gotta get to the base. P. And fast. The Ending missions consist of you: 1. Taking over turf. If you've completed the Heist strand, then you remark that you're already rich. 2. Uh. Maybe some kind of a mission to destroy the 2 bridges? I guess maybe. 3. Then, you've got the Puerto Ricans, the Triads, the Leones, and the Sindaccos after you. You have to kill their leaders. Or, I don't know. You have to destroy their businesses. The Puerto Ricans are drug dealers, the Triads are, well, I don't know, the Leones are probably mostly smugglers, and the Sindaccos are casino hosters. Do what you will with that. 4. Finally, you're at your base. Watch the ending of Scarface. Understand it. And make a carbon copy of it in the last mission. And i've got a good idea for what happens after you fall face-down from the second floor of an interior. (Shows him laying face-down in a pool of blood) (Subtitles) THE BUILDING WAS ROBBED BY THE HITMEN SENT BY VARIOUS MOBS THAT INSTANT. RIGHT AFTER, THEY STARTED FIGHTING EACH OTHER AGAIN AS IF NOTHING HAD HAPPENED. (Shows a Yakuza member shooting a Leone soldier. (The camera pans out) SOON, RAYMOND'S HOME WAS TORCHED BY THE SURVIVORS. (The view from the street. In an instant, it becomes lit on fire.) (Shows the home inside and Ray crawling to the window through fire and smoke) RAY HAS SURVIVED THE ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT DUE TO HIM WEARING A BULLETPROOF VEST. HE HAS, HOWEVER, SUFFERED MAJOR DEGREE BURNS AND MANY BROKEN BONES AND BULLET WOUNDS. (Shows a hospital ceiling through a blinging light, like something that a patient would see lying on the table. Shows a medic's face above and darkness.) HIS IDENITY WAS CHANGED MANY TIMES, BUT WAS RESTORED TO "RAYMOND MACHOWSKI" A FEW MONTHS BEFORE THE BEGINNING OF JANUARY, 1998. AND A FEW YEARS BEFORE THAT, HE REQUESTED A PLASTIC SURGERY BE DONE ON HIM AS TO NOT GIVE ANOTHER CLUE WHEN HE APPLIED (Shows the Trenton PD building, the camera flies around it) TO LCPD ONCE MORE, AS A DIFFERENT, YOUNGER PERSON. (The camera shows a segment of Carcer. Think about it.) WHAT DID HE DO BEFORE THAT? IT'S A MYSTERY FOR MOST, BUT SOME KNOW THAT HE HAS BEEN HIDING OUT IN CARCER CITY. (The camera flies and shows the whole of LC) BUT HE NEVER FORGOT... (The camera starts slowly zooming in on Ray's location...) THAT THE WORLD... (The picture starts to slowly fade to that of the LCS Ray's standing in front of a PD. He stretches.) ... WAS HIS. Final "Bang" sound. Light. Everything fades to white. The credits start as the daily life of LC is shown. After the end, fades to black. Fades out to Ray standing in front of the safehouse. Awwww, all right, seems like deus ex machina. But, how is it, in your opinion? And how is my basic plot outline? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BullseyeSBT Posted April 16, 2008 Author Share Posted April 16, 2008 Sorry if cant always reply i am on vacation Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TonyZimmzy Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 "officer Zac May was found dead last night in the sea near the airport with bullet wounds to the chest and was drowned to death" Lol, he didn't die from the multiple bullet wounds to the chest, but rather someone drowned him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danny Phoenix Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 I think Cubanwhip should do it from now on. 23rock's script is full of undescriptive, poorly-spelled sentences that barely make any sense, and Ray seems to be like a criminal in his posts. Cubanwhip is far, far, far superior. Leave it to him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TonyZimmzy Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 I think Cubanwhip should do it from now on. 23rock's script is full of undescriptive, poorly-spelled sentences that barely make any sense, and Ray seems to be like a criminal in his posts. Cubanwhip is far, far, far superior. Leave it to him. Agreed fully. 23, you need to learn how to capture the character...and how to write in general. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
23rocks Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 What the heck man? Why are you guys always saying he's like a crimanal like listein Ray does not really want to help Zac and + Zac is a good cop just the cheif did not want him to go because really the cheif was involed in the deal.... by the way i DON'T want to be a main script writer i'm just trying to make mini missions that don't really invole the story that much the mission i just wrote was to kinda hint the cheif is corrupt and when it said zac drowned to death it was a kinda misstake because i rewote it and forgot to take out that part he was origanly gona be tied up and thrown out a boat and died but i changed it to he got shot secretly by cheif. and just to ask would you just want the story with no mini missions and plus i droped all my crimanlize scripts that i wrote before the autocar mission, Man, give a guy a break! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
longkissgoodnight Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 I pretty much agree with some of you. Cubanwhip should write this story and make another game script story... I don't no about other people but I pretty much loved The Conclusion! I thought it was unbelievable! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cubanwhip Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 (edited) LongKiss, although that comment sucking up to me sort of got me a ragin hard-on, all you did was take a step in the right direction. You need apporximately 567 to be neutral with me, so good luck on your journey. And 23rocks, I have the entire script planned out. If you want to write like Vigilante missions or maybe some cop odd-jobs, you can do that. But don't make Ray work for criminals. You can write them, and I can help you with them if something is wrong. Try to use my format/Tony's format because it allows you to be specific with details and organizes it. And Danny, thank you for teh compliment. My e-penis is now larger. BTW: New Mission. You’re standing outside the police station. You can either go save or step into the marker to start another Gary mission. ”Leaky Faucet” [Cutscene] Ray walks into the room and stands up behind the chair. Gary is shuffling through some papers and finally looks up at Ray. Gary: Machowski! I was just looking for my phone to call you. Ray: What do you need, sir? Gary: [stands up] Listen, that informant you brought in really knows how to keep his mouth shut. See? As cops, it’s “immoral” to beat the crap out of someone if we don’t have definitive proof that he’s relaying information. Ray: Definitive proof? So you’re telling me I arrested some guy? Just a civilian guy? Gary: No! No, no, no! We have seen him chatting around, talking to both gangs, we just don’t have solid evidence that he’s been relaying info. Ray: So what do you want me to do? Gary: Follow him. We weren’t able to detain him, so we had to let him go. If he’s guilty, he should go directly to tell someone. Ray: And what if he doesn’t? Gary: Well, then we made an honest mistake… Ray: I don’t like this chief… Gary: Well it doesn’t matter Machowski, because it’s your ass on the line. Now get moving! Ray: [Mumbles and walks out. The screen fades] [End of Cutscene] [Gameplay] Jump into the parked Admiral and a blip will appear on the radar. Follow the blip, but don’t get too close, if not you will fail the mission. Follow the car around southern Staunton until he stops in front of an apartment building. A cutscene will start up. [Cutscene] The informant and a Yakuza come out of the apartment building. The informant seems to be jittery and shaky, while the Triad appears calm. Informant: I don’t know how they found out! I was chased down by this cop and he brought me in. Yakuza: Did you say anything that might have put us in jeopardy? Informant: No! I just had my mouth shut and they let me go for lack of information and proof of me relaying info. Yakuza: Good. I want you to lay low for a while. Don’t start any trouble, we don’t want the LCPD on us. Informant: Alright. The Yakuza goes back into the apartment building and the informant goes back towards his car. He looks at your car and shock consumes his face. Informant: Oh sh*t! [Jumps in his car and the screen fades] [Gameplay] The informant speeds off so give chase. Don’t fire any bullets at him; just keep ramming him until his car catches fire. He should jump out and start running. Jump out of your car and give chase on foot. You don’t want to run him over. Just stay behind him and punch him until he falls to the ground. A cutscene should roll as soon as you do so. [Cutscene] Ray slams the informant against the side of the Admiral and grabs him by the hair. Ray: Who was that you were just chatting with? Informant: It was nobody! Let go of me you dirty piece of- Ray: [slams his head again] Don’t make me ask again you piece of sh*t! Informant: Alright! It was Kenji Kasen! Ray: Who does he work for? Informant: He’s the younger brother to Kazuki Kenjin, leader of the Yakuza! Ray: [Turns the man around and stares him in the eye] You’re coming back with me. Turns out you know more than we thought… Informant: It doesn’t matter! The Yakuza will be on you when they find out you’ve got me. You might as well just kill yourself! Ray: I’m sorry, but I prefer to live. [Turns him around and handcuffs him. He throws him into the back of the Admiral and gets in. The screen fades] [Gameplay] Drive back down to the station and park the Admiral around the back. Mission Passed! Edited April 16, 2008 by Cubanwhip Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QwertyAAA Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 I pretty much agree with some of you. Cubanwhip should write this story and make another game script story... I don't no about other people but I pretty much loved The Conclusion! I thought it was unbelievable! Heeeeey! What about me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TonyZimmzy Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 I pretty much agree with some of you. Cubanwhip should write this story and make another game script story... I don't no about other people but I pretty much loved The Conclusion! I thought it was unbelievable! Heeeeey! What about me? What about you, Kevin!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dar Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 And 23rocks, I have the entire script planned out. If you want to write like Vigilante missions or maybe some cop odd-jobs, you can do that. But don't make Ray work for criminals. You can write them, and I can help you with them if something is wrong. I thought I was writing those, seeing as I came up with the idea back in the other topic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cubanwhip Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 Oh, I didn't even see you propose the idea. Because it was already a simplistic enough idea, that if you're doing a story with a cop, that would be something included anyway, which is why I could also come up with it, without even knowing you requested it! [/mocking] If you can do a better job than 23rocks, be my guest. Just post an example, and if it reflects Ray as a good cop, and not as 23rocks portrays him, then you can write them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dar Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 Well, this is one of the dispatcher missions I planned out: GAMEPLAY Enter squad car parked in Staunton Police Station. Armed robbery at the Bank of Liberty- CUTSCENE Ray enters the car and sits down. The police radio comes on. Dispatcher: Armed robbery at the Bank of Liberty, request for backup. GAMEPLAY Drive over to the Bank of Liberty, next to where [email protected] is in 2001. CUTSCENE A gang of robbers armed with shotguns and pistols run out of the building, with briefcases full of money. They see you driving towards them. Robber: Sh*t, there's more of them. Let's get out of here. Robber 2: Split up. They enter a Stallion and a Sanchez and drive off. GAMEPLAY Chase them down in your squad car. The Sanchez will drive through Belleville Park and towards Aspatria and the Stallion will drive through the Times Square-copy and towards Bedford Point. When the robbers are knocked off their Sanchez or their Stallion goes on fire, they will get out and start shooting at you. When they are dead (they fired at you so you had a right to retaliate in self-protection) pick up the briefcases and drive back to the station. Mission Passed! Reward- $100 Tell me what you think, what would make it better? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cubanwhip Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 Actually, that's pretty good. But what we have to be careful is that these missions don't interfere with the main missions. Like if they are robbing a bank, but, for example, the bank blows up in the story. We have to make them basic, but not too basic. The story runs on Ray with a paycheck, and maybe sometimes cash per mission. So you're not constantly getting money, unless you save one full day and pick up your paycheck and waste time picking up your salary like that. It's good to make extra money. So maybe start off with simple ones like an old lady got mugged or there's a standoff in southern Staunton or something. Other than that, the format almost closely matches mine and is ace. Good job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dar Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 I originally planned to have a police oddjob where there is a mugging in Bedford Point so I might post that later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BullseyeSBT Posted April 17, 2008 Author Share Posted April 17, 2008 Well, this is one of the dispatcher missions I planned out: GAMEPLAY Enter squad car parked in Staunton Police Station. Armed robbery at the Bank of Liberty- CUTSCENE Ray enters the car and sits down. The police radio comes on. Dispatcher: Armed robbery at the Bank of Liberty, request for backup. GAMEPLAY Drive over to the Bank of Liberty, next to where [email protected] is in 2001. CUTSCENE A gang of robbers armed with shotguns and pistols run out of the building, with briefcases full of money. They see you driving towards them. Robber: Sh*t, there's more of them. Let's get out of here. Robber 2: Split up. They enter a Stallion and a Sanchez and drive off. GAMEPLAY Chase them down in your squad car. The Sanchez will drive through Belleville Park and towards Aspatria and the Stallion will drive through the Times Square-copy and towards Bedford Point. When the robbers are knocked off their Sanchez or their Stallion goes on fire, they will get out and start shooting at you. When they are dead (they fired at you so you had a right to retaliate in self-protection) pick up the briefcases and drive back to the station. Mission Passed! Reward- $100 Tell me what you think, what would make it better? looks pretty cool to me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BullseyeSBT Posted April 17, 2008 Author Share Posted April 17, 2008 LongKiss, although that comment sucking up to me sort of got me a ragin hard-on, all you did was take a step in the right direction. You need apporximately 567 to be neutral with me, so good luck on your journey. And 23rocks, I have the entire script planned out. If you want to write like Vigilante missions or maybe some cop odd-jobs, you can do that. But don't make Ray work for criminals. You can write them, and I can help you with them if something is wrong. Try to use my format/Tony's format because it allows you to be specific with details and organizes it. And Danny, thank you for teh compliment. My e-penis is now larger. BTW: New Mission. You’re standing outside the police station. You can either go save or step into the marker to start another Gary mission. ”Leaky Faucet” [Cutscene] Ray walks into the room and stands up behind the chair. Gary is shuffling through some papers and finally looks up at Ray. Gary: Machowski! I was just looking for my phone to call you. Ray: What do you need, sir? Gary: [stands up] Listen, that informant you brought in really knows how to keep his mouth shut. See? As cops, it’s “immoral” to beat the crap out of someone if we don’t have definitive proof that he’s relaying information. Ray: Definitive proof? So you’re telling me I arrested some guy? Just a civilian guy? Gary: No! No, no, no! We have seen him chatting around, talking to both gangs, we just don’t have solid evidence that he’s been relaying info. Ray: So what do you want me to do? Gary: Follow him. We weren’t able to detain him, so we had to let him go. If he’s guilty, he should go directly to tell someone. Ray: And what if he doesn’t? Gary: Well, then we made an honest mistake… Ray: I don’t like this chief… Gary: Well it doesn’t matter Machowski, because it’s your ass on the line. Now get moving! Ray: [Mumbles and walks out. The screen fades] [End of Cutscene] [Gameplay] Jump into the parked Admiral and a blip will appear on the radar. Follow the blip, but don’t get too close, if not you will fail the mission. Follow the car around southern Staunton until he stops in front of an apartment building. A cutscene will start up. [Cutscene] The informant and a Yakuza come out of the apartment building. The informant seems to be jittery and shaky, while the Triad appears calm. Informant: I don’t know how they found out! I was chased down by this cop and he brought me in. Yakuza: Did you say anything that might have put us in jeopardy? Informant: No! I just had my mouth shut and they let me go for lack of information and proof of me relaying info. Yakuza: Good. I want you to lay low for a while. Don’t start any trouble, we don’t want the LCPD on us. Informant: Alright. The Yakuza goes back into the apartment building and the informant goes back towards his car. He looks at your car and shock consumes his face. Informant: Oh sh*t! [Jumps in his car and the screen fades] [Gameplay] The informant speeds off so give chase. Don’t fire any bullets at him; just keep ramming him until his car catches fire. He should jump out and start running. Jump out of your car and give chase on foot. You don’t want to run him over. Just stay behind him and punch him until he falls to the ground. A cutscene should roll as soon as you do so. [Cutscene] Ray slams the informant against the side of the Admiral and grabs him by the hair. Ray: Who was that you were just chatting with? Informant: It was nobody! Let go of me you dirty piece of- Ray: [slams his head again] Don’t make me ask again you piece of sh*t! Informant: Alright! It was Kenji Kasen! Ray: Who does he work for? Informant: He’s the younger brother to Kazuki Kenjin, leader of the Yakuza! Ray: [Turns the man around and stares him in the eye] You’re coming back with me. Turns out you know more than we thought… Informant: It doesn’t matter! The Yakuza will be on you when they find out you’ve got me. You might as well just kill yourself! Ray: I’m sorry, but I prefer to live. [Turns him around and handcuffs him. He throws him into the back of the Admiral and gets in. The screen fades] [Gameplay] Drive back down to the station and park the Admiral around the back. Mission Passed! I like it keep up the good work Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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