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Hodgey.

Great quotes you've heard on this forum

Recommended Posts

Vanillainy

 

ohh am sory can you ples lern me som or maby cange my gens so I wodet be dysleksi. you cud also make a time macin and make me briths insded of danis

 

My brain just imploded.

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Machida
ohh am sory can you ples lern me som or maby cange my gens so I wodet be dysleksi. you cud also make a time macin and make me briths insded of danis

 

My brain just imploded.

I put It through google..

 

Oh I'm sorry, can you please learn (teach) me some or maybe change my genes so I wouldn't (won't) be dyslexic. You could also make a time machine and make me British instead of Danish.

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Hart

From MasterKraft:

 

 

If you were wise.

 

What did he offer? Was it full blown sex or just a willy kiss?

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The Unvirginiser

 

I'm surprised there aren't any quotes from the Masturbating thread.

 

Theres nothing more satisfying than seeing a string of your own hot spunk oozing down a dog's face

 

Made me lol.

You know I honestly don't remember posting that lol.gif

 

 

 

QUOTE (The Unvirginiser @ Jun 26 2008, 21:42)

Sad when somebody pretends to be drunk....

I was at a party once and jumped from the top stair and landed on the second to bottom one.. spent the night in casualty

 

Reply:

Ladi f*cking da.You thik this is fake yoy son of a bitch!? you tink you are higher than me? You don't know what you are f*cking on! Get the f*ck off the foryns. Everyone has hated you since you made a mockery of the fourm since your little show on the PH forms with the underground tunnel. Evetyone thinks you should be banned but by the skin of your teeth you hve managed to stay in, consider yourself very f*ckung lucky. the next time you do someint to piss the forums off you can consiuder yourself banned just ike chris cambo who was also a fag for thinking he was COOL to make fun of pther people and give th forumd a bad name on the PH FOrum. By the way, GREAT NAME! I bet you've never experience sex you f*cking poser. Get rhe f*ck off the forums you twat!

 

 

And I never read that reply tounge2.gif

 

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Typhus

For pure ridiculousness:

 

 

."Civilians in Bohan heard a explosion and gunfire coming from an what was thought to be an abandoned warehouse! It turns out the warehouse was filled with ammo and weapons from Russia!!1! police said it belonged to the infemous mobster vlad. Police do not know the whereabouts of vlad as he has been missing for 8 months. One witness described a man walking out of the wherehouse with a SMG and a face covered in blood. He was roughly 6ft and 150 lbs. was wearing a black suit and sounded Russian"

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Yokelsson

This was just posted here in general chat

 

 

OMG. I can't get this out of my head. Last night the T.V was on but no volume. I went to go check *at 1am* I saw the fashion channel and then...I looked at my dad..He was...f*ckING WANKING! THAT SICK BASTARD! I nearly puked when I saw it! I havn't spoken to anyone in a day. I think im scarred.. O_O

 

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poopskin

 

Edited for (hopefully) a better tomorrow.

 

EPIC lulz ensued in this spot!

 

Ah yes, the post that finally made Dawg F*ck off!

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Mark

 

From MasterKraft:

 

 

If you were wise.

 

What did he offer? Was it full blown sex or just a willy kiss?

Damn it I didn't give anyone a f*cking willy kiss!

 

And to be on topic:

 

 

Does anyone else understand the logic behind using tax dollars to re-finance home loans for people who don't understand how to read a contract?  I just don't understand why the government would be so eager to pay to keep these people in their homes ... I can't say I have lots of sympathy for someone who knowingly entered into a contract that they cannot afford (or if they were too stupid to know). 

 

Let's keep America great and kick these people into the street!

Have fun when they break into your house cause they're desperate.

Um .... no. I don't think it's a great idea to keep giving idiotic people a free-ride because I don't want to live in fear of their desperation.

Niko would not pay. He would tell them to f*ck-off and get a job ... icon14.gif

I think I may have actually pinpointed the exact moment at which you started sounding like an idiot.

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CrazeLaze

The one from Slamman in the masturbation topic that got him banned, It just sounded like an innocent post at first, I love the way Slamman can say the most random things, but it looks like an ordinary post.....

Edited by Goldey

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=OG4life=

 

he didnt just talk sh*t, he embaraced me infront of all my friends.....
OH noes! nervous.gif

 

he didn't.... he didn't hug you did he!

 

Kill him, f*ck the tazer! Kill his entire family!

 

I almost pissed myself whilst reading dawg's topics. lol.gif

 

 

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stingray.

Gosh, I love this. It's the THIRD reply that made me laugh hard. No offence, Kitteh, but I find it funny.

 

I hate Volkwagens, they're ugly, overpriced, and unreliable.

 

lawls. How are Volkswagons unreliable and overpriced? My bug cost 3 grand when it was new and has had well over half a million miles on it's over it's 35 year life span. I can't see how any car that can go well over 250K before needing to be rebuilt can be called unreliable.

 

BTW, I'm 6'5" and I can fit into plenty of small cars comfortably. Especially German and Jap makes. Subarus and Mazdas are good examples. Personally, I'd get a WRX or an EVO. Go fast, wreck fast.

 

But I guess your folks are loaded if they're willing put down 30K on their little prince will most likely total it within 6 months. We are planning a "My Super Sweet 16" party being broadcast on MTV, right? When does it air? An EVO/WRX would be the perfect gift. This whole topic just seems like the stereotypical rich 15 year old CA kid thing to me. It's never a good idea to start a topic on "which brand new 30K car should my parents buy me?"

 

Modern Volkswagens, not an old Beetle

 

Also, I'm sorry you're so jealous of the fact that my parents are generous and want to get me a good car. Keep crying about it, it'll get you far, maybe even get you some street cred. No wait, just smoke some more weed, that'll solve all your problems. Way to go, passing a ridiculous judgment about someone you don't even know on the internet, and completely straying from the topic so you can take a shot at those horrible privileged rich kids. I apologize for having a successful dad who cares about me. That obviously makes me a bad person. And anyways, I don't want an Evo or a WRX. I want a car that's comfortable and smooth, not something that's super fast. Not to mention those cars cost over $40,000, and my parents won't get me a used car. I'm also not an idiot and I don't drive fast.

 

Here's why it has to be in this price range:

parents want to get me a

-new car

-room for me (6 foot 3) and other stuff (so has to be at least Accord size)

-V6 for passing

-tons of airbags, good safety rating

-navigation

-reliable, good resale (so no American cars)

-nice interior

just so you know, the newer Passats and Jettas get sh*t reliability ratings.

 

I'm sure you can FIT in your tiny little POS car, but that doesn't mean it would be comfortable for me.

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Machida

A quote from macorules94, which was posted in the debates forum no less.

 

 

omg stupid humans think they will live forever.

 

One day humans will be extinct and you have to get over it!!

 

... rather poignant, I feel.

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=OG4life=

 

i hate these haters

 

This made me lol. cry.gif

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Tony Mozzarelli 80

 

just for the record..im from America and i speak proper english.......somewhat biggrin.gif

By proper, I didn't mean you talked like a drunk. I just highly doubt you walk around saying "Excuse me sire, may I escort your wonderous pollydocks." I don't what a pollydock is, as it is just a made up word but you get the point, lol.

- Kungzoo

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KillerKabel

"It's gay to be gay."

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jedimario

 

ok hang on.

Square root of 7 = 2.64575131

Area of a circle = Pi times diameter,

so, that means, that

Area = 8.31187288

 

I hope thats right, not sure if I remembered correctly.

 

 

How hungry is you dog?

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Hart

Isaac Hayes dead topic from Starion. Hilarious.

 

 

Why is it that every time some old biffer from the telly dies, someone has to make a post about it?

Show some f*cking respect.

Why am I going to show respect? I didn't f*cking know him, and neither did you.

Then why the f*ck do you feel the need to post in this topic? People here may not know him in person but they'll know and respect him for his work, so they're still gonna feel a bit sad if he dies. If you don't feel that way and think these topics suck, then don't post in them spreading your negativity. Simple.

 

For what it's worth, R.I.P.

Why the f*ck did I post in this topic? Are you really that f*cking stupid? To express my distaste for all the phoney bullsh*t "RIP Some-guy-that-would-spit-on-me-in-the-street-if-I-asked-for-his-autograph" topics.

Sigh.

 

 

You're so cool, outstanding and intelligent because you have a different opinion to everyone else. icon14.gif

 

 

Oh wait.. Maybe not.

 

JUST f*ck OFF YOU INCONSIDERATE f*ckHEAD.

 

 

 

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freak2121
WHY EAT POTATOSE WHEN THERES CABBAGE,I dont give a sh*t anymore im gonna get drunk and get laid so gooby fat joes back livin moneky of man who rubbband f*ck Hazer f*ck you all f*ck me too oh dame im drunk f*ck it.ahappy i siaid f*ck hazer huh

 

I never had tears of laughter, except for when I read that, I had to smash my head in on the table and keyboard to stop laughing. lol.giffacedesk.gif

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macorules94

 

why is it called an Xbox 360???? Because when you see it you turn around 360 degrees and go back LOL?!?

reply:

 

Its 180 degrees you dipsh*t. If you did a 360 you would end up where you started!!!

 

and also....read my sig

Edited by macorules94

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rollerball34

 

Why CAN'T you use GTAFORUMS as your gang forum? Give me one good reason?

 

This had me laughing for awhile lol.gif

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WidowMaker

 

Am I the only one to notice that every time one of these 'best quote' topics come up, the so called 'quotes' inside are just getting weaker and weaker?  confused.gif  I remember back in the day when I saw a quote thread I knew I was in for a f*cking laugh.

WidowMaker's guide to "GREAT QUOTES!"

 

• Nothing says funny like a completely retarded post full of misspellings and newb speak. ITS FUNNY BECAUSE THEY TYPE LIKE MORONS LOL!

• Make sure the quote contains swear words, because swear words are F*CKING HILARIOUS.

• If a mod posts it, it's got to be COMEDY GOLD!

• Make sure whatever you quote is over 20 f*cking lines or longer, because the longer and more drawn out the sh*t you quote, the funnier it is!

• Any post that insults a console is NOT fanboyism, it's COMEDY!!

 

Seriously, the only potentially funny quote hasn't even been posted, but referenced to in such a way that only a few will remember it. Vegas and the boot up problem is hilarious in so many ways.

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beanmike206

 

About four guys came at once. It was great.

 

best quote ever cool.gif

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The Unvirginiser

 

Very very bad grammer.puncuation and format. It all seems like a cramped up short story.

 

It couls possibly be a interesting concept if it weren't the cliche GTA in the past story about the same damn things. I mean maybe if this weren't yet another Mafia GTA story it would be better. I suggest you restart your whole story.

I'm a cock gobbler and I love to gobble cock.

 

Interesting critique, considering your spelling, punctuation and grammar.

what the f*ck is your problem you dumb bitch? I don't even know you nor have I ever said anything to you so why jump on my dick you peice of sh*t. If I were writing a story then it would be different but I'm not writing a story fa**ot so stay off of my dick.

 

Stay off his dick

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Mainland Marauder

 

I, on the other hand, am here to provide my services as an assface. There is no assface finer than the assface that is my face of ass. Henceforth, I am always talking out of my ass. Instead of dripping with wit, I am dripping with... well, you know.

 

 

 

Anyone who disagrees can kiss my face.

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WidowMaker
I, on the other hand, am here to provide my services as an assface. There is no assface finer than the assface that is my face of ass. Henceforth, I am always talking out of my ass. Instead of dripping with wit, I am dripping with... well, you know.

 

 

 

Anyone who disagrees can kiss my face.

ROFL HE SAID ASS

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mark-2007

 

This one, from the last Quotes topic, and the following replies from everyone.

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Struff Bunstridge

That was actually bloody harsh. Someone edited Stefan's post, and awkwardness ensued. I was seriously confused for a while with that one.

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mark-2007

 

That was actually bloody harsh. Someone edited Stefan's post, and awkwardness ensued. I was seriously confused for a while with that one.

I know that, but it was still hilarious. Some of the replies were good.

 

Also this in a three-year old topic, also courtesy of Stefan.

Edited by mark-2007

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Struff Bunstridge

...same link, surely?

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mark-2007

 

...same link, surely?

Damn blush.gif

 

1 sec.

 

Done.

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