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The Story of a Boxer


CrocodileDundee

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CrocodileDundee

This is my first story, it's about a boxer named Nico Kerzheka.

 

First Chapter

 

My name is Nico Kerzheka I'm 50 years old and I live on the street struggling to survive with no money and only rags for clothes, But 20 years ago I was the Undisputed Heavyweight Champion of the world. Now here is my story. I was born in a suburb to Murmansk in Russia, my mother died when she was giving birth to me and my father left me at an orphanage when I was only 2 years old. Already when I was 13 I got in problem's with the law, I was several times arrested for robbing people on the street. But when I was 18 it got really serious when I robbed a bank and was sentenced to 6 years in prison. While in prison I decided to turn my life around. I started training boxing, I would do shadowboxing in my cell for several hours straight every day. After 6 years in prison I was released and I was determined to become a proffesional boxer in America. I entered and won the Murmansk State amatuer boxing championship. With the prize money I had just afford to buy a plane ticket to New York where I could pursue my dream of becoming a professional boxer.

 

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I plan to do more chapters in the future. So what do you think?

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The idea is good, but the writing, sadly, is not. It's far too short and simple- it doesn't hold my interest at all, and is over almost before it begins. There is very little description- it is a case of "I did this, I did that." Try to spice it up a bit, use different lexis, make the reader care about this boxer.
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CrocodileDundee

 

The idea is good, but the writing, sadly, is not. It's far too short and simple- it doesn't hold my interest at all, and is over almost before it begins. There is very little description- it is a case of "I did this, I did that." Try to spice it up a bit, use different lexis, make the reader care about this boxer.

Ok, I will try to work on my writing. This idea kinda just popped up in my head and I will defenitly try to improve it and continue on it but Thanks for your help smile.gif

Edited by CrocodileDundee
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