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H4milton

Funny Jokes

Recommended Posts

Don Garcia aka NjNakedSnake

Impossible to Please

 

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

 

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."

 

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

 

The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.

 

They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."

 

They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.

 

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.

 

There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."

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Girish

A young couple are out for a romantic walk along a country lane. They walk hand in hand and as they stroll the guy's lustful desire rises to a peak. He is just about to get frisky when she says, "I hope you don't mind but I really do need to pee."

 

Slightly taken aback by this vulgarity, he replies, "OK. Why don't you go behind this hedge?"

 

She nods in agreement and disappears behind the hedge. As he waits, he can hear the sound of nylon knickers rolling down her voluptuous legs and imagines what is being exposed. Unable to contain his animal thoughts a moment longer, he reaches a hand through the hedge and touches her leg. He quickly brings his hand further up her thigh until suddenly and with great astonishment finds himself gripping a long, thick appendage hanging between her legs.

 

He shouts in horror, "My God Mary ... have you changed your sex?"

 

"No," she replies. "I've changed my mind, I'm having a sh*t instead."

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anuj
Have you ever heard of "Typo"?

 

And when anuj said that he was going to temp ban anyone who comes up with sh*tty jokes, he was clearly referring to you and crazymodder. I don't think you get it, do you?

either its a bad joke or else, mods have no powers to temp-ban a member who tells a bad joke. what important is, stay tight on topic, thats the point of the topic.

Did you not read my posts? People who post unfunny jokes get temped.

 

And your jokes would make cancer patients cry.

 

This topic is going to be locked for awhile til you guys stop sucking at being funny.

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