SHXC Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 Two packets of crisps are walking down the road. A man pulls up in a car and asks them if they want a lift. The crisps reply, "No thanks, We're Walkers". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Unvirginiser Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 How does superman ask for a drink? *blink*blink* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H4milton Posted March 10, 2008 Author Share Posted March 10, 2008 Once two men were sleeping together, suddenly one of them woke up at midnight and told the other 'is it morning outside, the other man peeped through the window and replied 'I cant see anything it is dark.the first men again told 'fool take a torch light and see if it is morning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uzer Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Demarest comes home one day and finds a taxi waiting in his driveway. Inside, he sees his girlfriend packing all of her bags. Shocked, he asked her, "What are you doing?" She replied, "I'm leaving you, I heard you are a pedophile." Demarest was again, shocked. "Woah, woah, woah. Back up a second. Pedophile is a pretty big word for a 9 year old." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Otter Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Demarest comes home one day and finds a taxi waiting in his driveway. Inside, he sees his girlfriend packing all of her bags. Shocked, he asked her, "What are you doing?" She replied, "I'm leaving you, I heard you are a pedophile." Demarest was again, shocked. "Woah, woah, woah. Back up a second. Pedophile is a pretty big word for a 9 year old." And uzer CLINCHES moderator of the year, just like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JAJ Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Had to take the old girlfriend to the Doctor the other day, thought she was suffering from severe PMS, turns out she's just a bitch! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thatsoccerguy Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Demarest comes home one day and finds a taxi waiting in his driveway. Inside, he sees his girlfriend packing all of her bags. Shocked, he asked her, "What are you doing?" She replied, "I'm leaving you, I heard you are a pedophile." Demarest was again, shocked. "Woah, woah, woah. Back up a second. Pedophile is a pretty big word for a 9 year old." Wow. Just wow. F*cking Burn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Unvirginiser Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Two pedos in a room One says to the other ite demarest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SHXC Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Two pedos in a roomOne says to the other ite demarest Way to kill it. uzer won the topic. Lock anyone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Unvirginiser Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Two pedos in a roomOne says to the other ite demarest Way to kill it. uzer won the topic. Lock anyone? How can you win a topic? I cant think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they are dead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Runey Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Why is summer Demarest's favorite time of the year? School's out and he can have more time with the girlfriend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Otter Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 So Demarest is walking around the woods one night with a ten year old girl. It's cold and dark. The girl says "I'm really scared out here!" Dem ponders this a bit before responding, "You're scared? I've got to leave by myself!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Unvirginiser Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Demarest is walkin on a cliff and sees a little girl... the girls is crying He asks her whats up, she says her entire family were just in a car that fell off the cliff He pulls down his fly and says "it's not your lucky day is it?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crokey Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Random crap Dem jokes We need a very large Yawn smilie Here was me thinking Eeshan would completely kill the topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Unvirginiser Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Whats the worst thing about a wet dream? You wake up and its all over Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuffaloSoldier Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Anti-Jokes are funnier in my opinion. For those who don't know, an anti-joke is a joke that you would expect to have a funny punchline or a catch, but it doesn't. For example: A man walks into a bar...?...He is an alcoholic and his drinking problem is ruining his family Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chillwinston8717 Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 (edited) Anti-Jokes are funnier in my opinion. For those who don't know, an anti-joke is a joke that you would expect to have a funny punchline or a catch, but it doesn't. For example: A man walks into a bar...?...He is an alcoholic and his drinking problem is ruining his family A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "Why the long face?". The horse replies: "I'm deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existance and the extent to which I am now protected by law." How do you know when a Frenchman has been near your house? You don't, really, unless you were there to see him or if one of your neighbors saw him. I wouldn't worry about it, really. What's worse than finding a maggot in your apple? Being raped. Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar, sit at the end and start having some drinks. Two hours later, they come out with a better understanding of each other and a mutual respect, the beginnings of a friendship that last a lifetime. A man walks into a bar He drinks 6 Newcastles, 4 shots of Jack Daniels, hits on the waitress unsuccessfully, takes his wedding ring off, tried again and fails, drinks 3 more shots, drives home, beats his daughter for coming home late, and cries himself to sleep realizing that he hates his life. A bear walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. The bartender says, ''Sorry, we don't give beer to bears in bars.'' The bear replies, ''I guess I will have a soda instead.'' So the bear and the bartender talk over nonalcoholic drinks all night about the reality of interspecies communication. You might be a redneck if... Northern city-dwellers mock your isolated rural heritage, and utilize stereotypes referencing your supposed appetite for fornication with family relations, and your almost simian intelligence to further demean you. Edited March 10, 2008 by chillwinston8717 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Unvirginiser Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Why did the nazis invent the swastika? Might have to PM me for the answer, its really sick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chillwinston8717 Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Why did the nazis invent the swastika? Might have to PM me for the answer, its really sick Just tell us the damn answer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuffaloSoldier Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Yo, edit your post. No racial jokes here, especially ones that related to mass genocide. Seriously. @Cliffwinston: I just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at all those anti-jokes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Unvirginiser Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 ...To crucify the spacks Just read over the topic and this: What is 12 inches long, stiff and makes women scream at night?Crib death. Is by far the most horrible joke by far Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuffaloSoldier Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 What the hell is a "spack"? What are you talking about? How does that make the least amount of sense? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aimee Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 (edited) How do you know when Barbie is on her period? Your Tic Tacs are missing. ...crappy, but it's the best one i've got... Edited March 12, 2008 by Aimee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Unvirginiser Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 1. spack Mentally retarded person derived from spastic You spack! (Insult) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuffaloSoldier Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 ...I don't get it? It's a doll? @Both of you above me: Please elaborate or the joke has to be sealed in the trunk of flat jokes for all of eternity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazymodder Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 NOTICE IF SOMEONE FOUND MY MARY, HE WILL BE REWARDED $50000 Dude:How does your sister look like? (Meh, i got the chance to have a girlfriend!) Gerard:Here is the picture Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tuff_luv_capo Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 NOTICE IF SOMEONE FOUND MY MARY, HE WILL BE REWARDED $50000 Dude:How does your sister look like? (Meh, i got the chance to have a girlfriend!) Gerard:Here is the picture ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crokey Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 ...I don't get it? It's a doll? @Both of you above me: Please elaborate or the joke has to be sealed in the trunk of flat jokes for all of eternity. He means a Spastic, also called a Spack, Spacker or Spaz, generally refering to someone who has some sort of disability like Cerebral Palsy, therefore can be fairly bent out of shape due to a growth problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazymodder Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Look, its Dude! What dude? Its Dude! WTF dude is that? Its Dude, not dude Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anus Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Look, its Dude! What dude? Its Dude! WTF dude is that? Its Dude, not dude Man I love your jokes! I mean it's Dude and not dude! What a classic ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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