Canofceleri Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 (edited) Claude In Edited July 16, 2009 by Candarelli Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canofceleri Posted February 17, 2008 Author Share Posted February 17, 2008 (edited) Q&A What is the purpose of this? In light of the good reception "Claude On Lonely Night" has had I've decided to churn out a trilogy, this being the second part. Also, it's to fill in a bit of the mysteries that shroud the character Claude and give him a story. But I thought Claude's tongue was cut out and that's why he couldn't talk? Not in my story. Should I think this is tasteless and pointless? Maybe, I kind of think so. When is the last part of the trilogy coming out? I don't know. But I will say each story could be taken as stand alone, each with their own characteristics and styles. You don't need one with the other, they merely compliment each other. The next one will probably be called "Claude Walks on Autumn's Light". Edited February 17, 2008 by Candarelli Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Claude GTA3 Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 I love it!! You rock,man. By the way,why is that retarded pic the logo? it doesnt even look like him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TonyZimmzy Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 I'm gonna read this tomorrow. Damn, you had to post it when I was gonna go to bed, didn't you? You f*ck...you bastard. I'll pop your lungs like balloons. I'll pour sugar in your bones. I'm the reason your kidneys fail when you're 68-years-young. I am a snowman with bone cancer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronmar The Only Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 Pretty crazy. Reminds me of American Psycho, every read it? Good movie with a great actor...great but crazy book. Visit Writers' Discussion Compilation of Works: From a Storyteller Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canofceleri Posted February 17, 2008 Author Share Posted February 17, 2008 why is that retarded pic the logo? it doesnt even look like him. Because before writing the story I saw a show on this guy named Andrew Goldstein who killed this woman. He looked deranged so I looked up a pic on Google Images, he was wearing a leather jacket. I thought, why not? Old fat deranged Claude. At any rate, thanks for the feedback. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Claude GTA3 Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 why is that retarded pic the logo? it doesnt even look like him. Because before writing the story I saw a show on this guy named Andrew Goldstein who killed this woman. He looked deranged so I looked up a pic on Google Images, he was wearing a leather jacket. I thought, why not? Old fat deranged Claude. At any rate, thanks for the feedback. I'll try to get you a good render of a detailed model a certain member is making. EDIT: Mind if I ask,why'd you choose Claude instead of the other protagonists? Possible answer: Because Claude's emotions,feelings,nor attitude were never actually shown,so you have the right of sculpting him in your desire? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canofceleri Posted February 17, 2008 Author Share Posted February 17, 2008 EDIT: Mind if I ask,why'd you choose Claude instead of the other protagonists? Possible answer: Because Claude's emotions,feelings,nor attitude were never actually shown,so you have the right of sculpting him in your desire? True. Plus, he's badass, and III is my favorite GTA. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronmar The Only Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 EDIT: Mind if I ask,why'd you choose Claude instead of the other protagonists? Possible answer: Because Claude's emotions,feelings,nor attitude were never actually shown,so you have the right of sculpting him in your desire? I would say that Claude's emotions were fleshed out well in certain instances; the betrayal of Catalina, the ease of him betraying his own "friends", and the general acts that the player could engage in (though I will admit that does not solidly establish an identity.) Visit Writers' Discussion Compilation of Works: From a Storyteller Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TonyZimmzy Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 That story made me laugh beyond belief. I can't wait for more. Truly one of the best I've read on here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Typhus Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 The rape and child murder was a little much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canofceleri Posted February 17, 2008 Author Share Posted February 17, 2008 The rape and child murder was a little much. Thanks. I'd go on a limb and say that it's a bit much when it really happens as well, so the writing was effective. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 Great as always, Frank. Can't wait for the next one. I chuckled when the kid thought it was his dad that was trying to kill him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Typhus Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 (edited) The rape and child murder was a little much. Thanks. I'd go on a limb and say that it's a bit much when it really happens as well, so the writing was effective. But may I ask. Did he imagine it? Was he really doing those things? They seem so excessive, so fantastical that I almost think that they're in his mind. and yes, your writing is very good You, unlike a few others, have a good ear for words. You neither sound overly Shakespearian or, as is most common, utterly stupid. The dialogue is crude and lewd but that is clearly your intent. You've got some real talent, keep it up. Edited February 17, 2008 by Typhus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canofceleri Posted February 17, 2008 Author Share Posted February 17, 2008 Great as always, Frank. Can't wait for the next one. I chuckled when the kid thought it was his dad that was trying to kill him. Actually the kid calling dad was an allusion for the sake of the story. Remembering what the psychiatrist said happened to Claude back in the day might help figure out why the two people he killed was a woman (one that he was attracted to and obviously comfortable enough with initially before she invoked his past story to hit on and flirt with) and then a young boy, and in that order. Claude using the word murder when threatening the kid was an attempt to connect Coleen's earlier use of the word. Maybe I'm giving away too much of what I was trying to do, or maybe I did it sloppily. Also, with the title of this piece alone I'm trying to get the reader to maybe even subconsciously ask themselves... is this man, who is capable of such horrendous acts, really just an animal instead of some evil soul? I think I try and hint at what my opinion of that idea is in the very first paragraph where Claude is doing something all of us and even other animals do, because regardless of being "good" or "bad" it's something we all do. People just sometimes cannot be "normal". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poikly Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 That was awesome and funny but not the end. Claude pushed through the stall door and jumped behind the small child who had at that time been frightened so bad his piss stopped abruptly. "Fucking little kid!" Claude yelled, "I'm gonna fuckin' murder you!" The kid cried out against the rough voice of a threatening stranger. "Daddy, no! Don't!" the kid cried, but it was no use. Claude brandished the envelope cutter he had taken from Coleen's desk, he grabbed the kid by the hair and pulled his head back. The boy's throat exposed (exposed as clean and bare), Claude took the dull blade to it and started to saw down into the middle of a neck with no Adam's Apple. Flesh cut away around the blade and a river of blood followed. The boy was soon half-decapitated, Claude pulled his head back even further by the hair, violently, hard. He bled that kid out with his body looking like an open Pez dispenser. Claude rocked him back and forth and then started to smash the exposed insides of the throat into the stainless steel top of the urinal, getting red everywhere in the white bathroom around them. I can take bad stuff but that is just wrong. No, just no. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canofceleri Posted February 17, 2008 Author Share Posted February 17, 2008 Because it was a child? He would've grown up to be an asshole anyway, right? Plus, he's spared Hell because he wasn't old enough to understand right and wrong when he died. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TonyZimmzy Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 Who cares if Claude killed a kid? He's the most badass of badasses of all time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhoda Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 I love it so far. Candarelli always writes some of the most unique and shocking pieces on this board, and this is no different. Keep going with this. I love just how ruthless Claude is, and I've a strong feeling there's a lot more to come. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gta phil gta Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 Candarelli always writes some of the most unique and shocking pieces on this board There was a time when it wasn't so tasteless and reliant upon shock value. I can't even uphold the writing itself, Cand. Good, sure, but a backwards step from your prior accomplishments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canofceleri Posted February 18, 2008 Author Share Posted February 18, 2008 Candarelli always writes some of the most unique and shocking pieces on this board There was a time when it wasn't so tasteless and reliant upon shock value. I can't even uphold the writing itself, Cand. Good, sure, but a backwards step from your prior accomplishments. Yeah it's tasteless. I don't know what you're talking about though, like accomplishments? This is a GTA board, what I used to write was like unoriginal mob stories and other stuff like that... Yeah, a lot of the crazy sh*t is there mostly in short stories, but what does it matter? Why does it have to be serious? If I were to limit myself to writing only thoughtful things I'd be leaving out a part of my personality, I'm kind of twisted some times and I let go of it. Sometimes I literally stand in front of the mirror and just go crazy and act stupid, I let the stupid out so it doesn't just fester inside me and pollute other every other part of me. Writing things that seem to rely on "shock value" (and it does as far as its function beyond its authorship) serves what I feel like is a very important function, it lets me let go of it. The same thing applies to my poetry, which is the majority of what I write.. most of my poetry comes from the same places, most of my poetry is very personal, I enjoy my poetry more than anyone else could (and that's probably the reason no one can really reply to it or if they do talk about it like they understand it)... I don't know what its appeal could possible be for someone other than me, but I post it anyway, what the hell. The point is, this is mostly for me, feedback is cool... but it is important for me to just let it exist and float around the internet anyway, just for it to breathe. But its about the function for me, anything else is peripheral.. I really feel like writing poetry helps me, I can have a tendency towards negative thinking and nihilism... it bothers me all the time, I have to let go of it just like I let go of disturbing thoughts. So yeah, sorry for the stoned rant. But uh, it doesn't really matter anyway... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Claude GTA3 Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Dude,for all I care,Claude can rape chickens,just keep up! This oughta be a novel. BTW,you've earned a spot on my respect list,not that that means much tho'... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Typhus Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Dude,for all I care,Claude can rape chickens,just keep up! This oughta be a novel. BTW,you've earned a spot on my respect list,not that that means much tho'... Do you know what the word "sycophantic" means? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronmar The Only Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Dude,for all I care,Claude can rape chickens,just keep up! This oughta be a novel. BTW,you've earned a spot on my respect list,not that that means much tho'... Do you know what the word "sycophantic" means? Are you saying that applies to him? I don't see exactly how, he is express how he feels and what is wrong with that? ---- A novel may take it too far though, just read American Psycho and the books similar to it, and then there would be the entire licensing from Rockstar. Visit Writers' Discussion Compilation of Works: From a Storyteller Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Typhus Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Are you saying that applies to him? I don't see exactly how, he is express how he feels and what is wrong with that? I'm just saying that on here it's hard to take people at face value. Some people give praise only to get their own work noticed. Some people have actualy posted things along the lines of: "OMFG! This story is rly good, no criticisms to make, THAT good. Now read my story!" And some people praise work just to say something. So, whereas some people make constructive points or voice doubts or even go into great detail in their praise. Others make oddly bland posts: "Great lol", "could be a novel", "should be published!1". All I'm saying is that figuring out who is genuine and who is merely making noise is somewhat difficult. But when you look at peoples history things are made a lot easier Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronmar The Only Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Are you saying that applies to him? I don't see exactly how, he is express how he feels and what is wrong with that? I'm just saying that on here it's hard to take people at face value. Some people give praise only to get their own work noticed. Some people have actualy posted things along the lines of: "OMFG! This story is rly good, no criticisms to make, THAT good. Now read my story!" And some people praise work just to say something. So, whereas some people make constructive points or voice doubts or even go into great detail in their praise. Others make oddly bland posts: "Great lol", "could be a novel", "should be published!1". All I'm saying is that figuring out who is genuine and who is merely making noise is somewhat difficult. But when you look at peoples history things are made a lot easier Except in Politics. I suppose he could have been trying to promote his "respect list". Hehe....but I don't believe so much. But I do see your point. Read my novel!!! got you. Visit Writers' Discussion Compilation of Works: From a Storyteller Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 This should be the basis of a religion. I'm gonna start worshiping you...not that that means anything. Nah, this is fantastic. It's shocking, psychological, and extremely effective at stirring up the emotions of the reader. But why "Jeniffer?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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