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I feel like total sh*t


ricardomun

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I know I'm a ''ghost'' member(not very well known) in here and my english is horrible but still...

Anyway,I've been feeling even worse than ''normal'' recently.Once I ''figured out'' that I was gay about 4 or 5 years ago(I'm 16 now) I started to feel very depressed or something and believe it or not I tought often about suicide.But after a while I got better.Unfortunately that didn't last,and since last year I started to notice how sh*tty my life is.

 

Basically,I'm stupid nerd with absolutely no friends whatsoever and I really don't think I'm going to be ''someone''.Besides that I'm totally f*cked up on some things,most people think I'm retard or something and maybe I am because I think I have a lot of psychiatric problems or whatever it's called(I'm pretty sure I have social phobia and there's a high chance I have attention deficit hyperactive disorder and there's some other problems also).

 

So as I said before,I'm gay and there's no chance I'll ever find someone I like or something because besides my social problems,I'm also ugly(And that's not low self steem since I've been told by some people already).

 

I really don't want to live anymore but I "can't" kill myself because I'm sure my parents would be very sad and it'd embarass them to have a suicidal son.I only wish I could be everything they wanted or atleast a little bit of it,because they are the only thing I have left to care about(My sister too) but that's a little hard for me since I don't even want to keep studying or anything like that.

 

 

Sorry for making such a stupid topic but I really wanted to tell this to someone but I really don't have that many people to talk to.And again,sorry for my horrible english,I'm pretty sure there's a lot of errors in this thing.

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Damn, you're pretty f*cked, aren't you?

 

First off, you seem a little young to be so sure about your sexual orientation. I'd avoid using labels to define yourself until you're for damn sure.

 

Second, who gives a f*ck if you're ugly.

 

Third, social skills are like baseball. Nobody picks up a ball and bat and smacks the ball 400 feet into space. You need to practice your behavior in social situations to get better. Sure, it's a bad analogy because some people are just naturally social, but it doesn't mean that you can't be social if you've never been social. I used the word social a lot in that sentence.

 

Now, killing yourself is a bad idea. Funerals are expensive. If you think somehow killing yourself will make things better, think of the bills your parents are going to have to pay. Caskets, flowers, hearses, funeral service, burial plots, all that sh*t. You really want to put that on your parent's plate? Didn't think so.

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Yes, let some assholes at school ruin your life. And are you sure you're gay? Are you sure some kid didn't just say that you're gay and you've accepted it ever since? You really care that others think you're a retard? Hell, I score higher than most people on all the tests and such, and they still call me a retard. bored.gif

 

Have you told your parents about your feelings? Do you have a councilor? Try to get help. smile.gif That's really all I can give you from what I've read.

 

Edit- listen to anuj. biggrin.gif

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Damn, you're pretty f*cked, aren't you?

 

First off, you seem a little young to be so sure about your sexual orientation. I'd avoid using labels to define yourself until you're for damn sure.

 

Second, who gives a f*ck if you're ugly.

 

Third, social skills are like baseball. Nobody picks up a ball and bat and smacks the ball 400 feet into space. You need to practice your behavior in social situations to get better. Sure, it's a bad analogy because some people are just naturally social, but it doesn't mean that you can't be social if you've never been social. I used the word social a lot in that sentence.

 

Now, killing yourself is a bad idea. Funerals are expensive. If you think somehow killing yourself will make things better, think of the bills your parents are going to have to pay. Caskets, flowers, hearses, funeral service, burial plots, all that sh*t. You really want to put that on your parent's plate? Didn't think so.

Well,I'm pretty sure I'm gay I really don't feel anything about girls but it's the opposite with boys.

And I don't plan to kill myself,I just wish I could disappear or something but I can't live alone since I'm totally dependent of my parents(and there's also the fact that I'm underage).

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Yes, let some assholes at school ruin your life. And are you sure you're gay? Are you sure some kid didn't just say that you're gay and you've accepted it ever since? You really care that others think you're a retard? Hell, I score higher than most people on all the tests and such, and they still call me a retard. bored.gif

 

Have you told your parents about your feelings? Do you have a councilor? Try to get help. smile.gif That's really all I can give you from what I've read.

 

Edit- listen to anuj. biggrin.gif

I know this is stupid but I wouldn't be able to even look at them again If I ever told them about everything.

And I don't have a councilor(I don't think it would be a big help either).

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do not suicide

 

if you ever want to die

 

do a suicide by cop, just make sure you take one with you

 

cops repp the goverment

the goverment is the biggest arms dealer in the world seling weapons to africa who they know give to kids

 

you want people who repp osama bin laden dead right? well its the same thing, except the us goverment are much worse

 

 

besides that

 

use your carelessness of life as a way of living man

i dont gotta walk four blocks from me and theres gonna be a fight

stick yo sh*t up, stand tall, dont be a punk and repp your own with pride

the thing i dont like about most gays is, they aint proud. as soon as someone calls them queer they punk they ass out and cry

 

if you havent found something youre willing to die for, you dont deserve to live

 

stay true with pride

 

 

- people who are afraid of life, arnt ready to be a man no matter how old they are

Edited by Makavel1
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Third, social skills are like baseball. Nobody picks up a ball and bat and smacks the ball 400 feet into space. You need to practice your behavior in social situations to get better. Sure, it's a bad analogy because some people are just naturally social, but it doesn't mean that you can't be social if you've never been social. I used the word social a lot in that sentence.

 

Actually anuj, that's a very good example. Social skills are taught to most people at a young age, but sometimes some people just don't get the grasp of it.

 

Social Phobia (or also known as Social Anxiety) is the third most common psychiatric disorder (Moehn 8). I too, and many other people, have some extent of social anxiety, but it sounds like you have a big problem with it. My advice is to pick up some books on the topics that seem to make you depressed. Reading books won't "cure" you, but they will help you with a great deal.

 

And if you're gay, then who gives a f*ck. We're all human.

 

 

 

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Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus

 

Yes, let some assholes at school ruin your life. And are you sure you're gay? Are you sure some kid didn't just say that you're gay and you've accepted it ever since? You really care that others think you're a retard? Hell, I score higher than most people on all the tests and such, and they still call me a retard. bored.gif

 

Have you told your parents about your feelings? Do you have a councilor? Try to get help. smile.gif That's really all I can give you from what I've read.

 

Edit- listen to anuj. biggrin.gif

I know this is stupid but I wouldn't be able to even look at them again If I ever told them about everything.

And I don't have a councilor(I don't think it would be a big help either).

It would be. Counselors are really helpful with that kind of stuff. In fact, I sometimes wish I had one to talk to.

 

Makavel1, nice use of a Martin Luther King Jr. quote. tounge.gif

BRUTUS WUZ HERE. LOLZ.

(Heroic reference. Not related to GTAF member by same name, g'dammit.)

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heres some true advice from tha heart

 

i f*cked up in school, i f*cked up with a job, im 17, but im proud

 

find something your proud of and keep that sh*t, keep it for life, and remember it, if you do that, you wont be depressed

 

 

tupac kept me runnin with pride

 

people can diss me, but dissing pac is going too far, thats how inspirational to me he is

 

im getting 6 tattoos in memory of him soon

 

 

- nero thanks biggrin.gif

 

 

you gotta make friends by the way, if you keep the way you do, you aint gonna get anybetter

force yourself to go out, but be proud whoever you think you are

Edited by Makavel1
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Wow, find something that interests you, who gives a f*ck if your ugly. Do well in school get a great job, a nice house,nice car and f*ck some money grabbing bitches and leave them where they belong.

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Time for self-improvement. Take what you've got and work with it. Obviously you can't change who you are but...as long as you take who you are and make the best of yourself you'll live a decent life. You only get one life and I'm more than certain that yours isn't THAT bad. Just gotta work through the tough times and enjoy life. If you need it then get some antidepressants, but they might not be necessary.

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do not suicide

 

if you ever want to die

 

do a suicide by cop, just make sure you take one with you

 

cops repp the goverment

the goverment is the biggest arms dealer in the world seling weapons to africa who they know give to kids

 

you want people who repp osama bin laden dead right? well its the same thing, except the us goverment are much worse

 

 

besides that

 

use your carelessness of life as a way of living man

i dont gotta walk four blocks from me and theres gonna be a fight

stick yo sh*t up, stand tall, dont be a punk and repp your own with pride

the thing i dont like about most gays is, they aint proud. as soon as someone calls them queer they punk they ass out and cry

 

if you havent found something youre willing to die for, you dont deserve to live

 

stay true with pride

 

 

- people who are afraid of life, arnt ready to be a man no matter how old they are

Dear God, someone ban this idiot.

 

EDIT: Can I offer some advice? Exercise. Run, go to a gym, do something, even if it's only a little bit, for a certain amount of time on a regular basis. Even if you don't want to improve the way you look or anything, physical activity in itself is good for the body and relieves stress on the mind. It could be a start, at least. smile.gif

 

Also, if you're absolutely sure you're gay, go with it. It's not like it's your fault, you didn't choose to be interested in guys, you just are. I'm not saying you should go out and start putting on dresses and acting like a queen (unless that's your thing), but accepting yourself is the first step to turning your life around.

Edited by BigGamer
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I know I'm a ''ghost'' member(not very well known) in here and my english is horrible but still...

Anyway,I've been feeling even worse than ''normal'' recently.Once I ''figured out'' that I was gay about 4 or 5 years ago(I'm 16 now) I started to feel very depressed or something and believe it or not I tought often about suicide.But after a while I got better.Unfortunately that didn't last,and since last year I started to notice how sh*tty my life is.

 

Basically,I'm stupid nerd with absolutely no friends whatsoever and I really don't think I'm going to be ''someone''.Besides that I'm totally f*cked up on some things,most people think I'm retard or something and maybe I am because I think I have a lot of psychiatric problems or whatever it's called(I'm pretty sure I have social phobia and there's a high chance I have attention deficit hyperactive disorder and there's some other problems also).

 

So as I said before,I'm gay and there's no chance I'll ever find someone I like or something because besides my social problems,I'm also ugly(And that's not low self steem since I've been told by some people already).

 

I really don't want to live anymore but I "can't" kill myself because I'm sure my parents would be very sad and it'd embarass them to have a suicidal son.I only wish I could be everything they wanted or atleast a little bit of it,because they are the only thing I have left to care about(My sister too) but that's a little hard for me since I don't even want to keep studying or anything like that.

 

 

Sorry for making such a stupid topic but I really wanted to tell this to someone but I really don't have that many people to talk to.And again,sorry for my horrible english,I'm pretty sure there's a lot of errors in this thing.

It's like looking into a mirror (Except I'm 17, minus the gay, and replace ADHD with Asperger syndrome).

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Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus

-I know plenty of ugly people who get laid. Things really aren't as bleak as they seem. Also, your negative self-image could just be a result of your unhappiness. It all has to do with the chemicals in your brain. You have no confidence, so you extrapolate that into your feelings of self.

 

-There are plenty of happy gay people. I know quite a few ( moto_whistle.giftounge.gif ). You just need to accept who you truly are and embrace yourself, man. (Cliché ahead) If you can't do that, other people will never be able to accept you. Okay, so you're gay. Who cares? You're still a cool guy. F*cking live!

 

-I know plenty of people who are comfortable being shy and alone. I have friends, but it's not like I always feel the need to be around them. Learn to live with yourself.

 

Also, Jim Morrison was a loner in high school, and he was, like, the coolest guy ever. Just be yourself and forget the riff-raff.

 

"The Morrison family continued to move frequently. In high school, Jim made good grades, but he was a loner who did not fit in well with others."

 

Source: http://facstaff.unca.edu/himelein/perspaper1.htm

 

There's always hope. biggrin.gif

BRUTUS WUZ HERE. LOLZ.

(Heroic reference. Not related to GTAF member by same name, g'dammit.)

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heres some true advice from tha heart

 

i f*cked up in school, i f*cked up with a job, im 17, but im proud

 

find something your proud of and keep that sh*t, keep it for life, and remember it, if you do that, you wont be depressed

 

 

tupac kept me runnin with pride

 

people can diss me, but dissing pac is going too far, thats how inspirational to me he is

 

im getting 6 tattoos in memory of him soon

 

 

- nero thanks biggrin.gif

 

 

you gotta make friends by the way, if you keep the way you do, you aint gonna get anybetter

force yourself to go out, but be proud whoever you think you are

Dam, you act like Tupac was your daddy or sum, it's pretty weird, he was just a singer man, let it go.

 

 

OT: I remember wayyy back in the day when I used to feel depressed and felt like i was unwanted and all that stuff.

 

I was a very shy kid and I had maybe one or two friends. This went on for a year before i decided to tell somebody about it. I'll never forget wat i friend told me either. He told me "You just need to stop giving a f*ck, and start cracking some heads." He handed me a joint and from that point on. I've always been to high to give a f*ck bout anything, But my advice is not so great. I'm always broke, I'm labled as a pothead by my parents, my parents friends, & school teachers, & I'm failing horribly in school, but atleast I feel good about it. icon14.gif

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heres some true advice from tha heart

 

i f*cked up in school, i f*cked up with a job, im 17, but im proud

 

find something your proud of and keep that sh*t, keep it for life, and remember it, if you do that, you wont be depressed

 

 

tupac kept me runnin with pride

 

people can diss me, but dissing pac is going too far, thats how inspirational to me he is

 

im getting 6 tattoos in memory of him soon

 

 

- nero thanks biggrin.gif

 

 

you gotta make friends by the way, if you keep the way you do, you aint gonna get anybetter

force yourself to go out, but be proud whoever you think you are

Dam, you act like Tupac was your daddy or sum, it's pretty weird, he was just a singer man, let it go.

 

 

OT: I remember wayyy back in the day when I used to feel depressed and felt like i was unwanted and all that stuff.

 

I was a very shy kid and I had maybe one or two friends. This went on for a year before i decided to tell somebody about it. I'll never forget wat i friend told me either. He told me "You just need to stop giving a f*ck, and start cracking some heads." He handed me a joint and from that point on. I've always been to high to give a f*ck bout anything, But my advice is not so great. I'm always broke, I'm labled as a pothead by my parents, my parents friends, & school teachers, & I'm failing horribly in school, but atleast I feel good about it. icon14.gif

thats where you got it all wrong, he wasent just a rapper. he was a voice for the black people.

hes inspired millions with his words, not just through his music but through what he did with his life.

 

tupac wanted to help the world and did, he dident give 2 sh*ts about fame and fortune

 

he got shot 5 times for us, he went to jail for us, he eventually died for us

 

until you know what your talking about on the topic tupac, dont talk about him.

 

read up on his wiki, and you might learn a thing or too.

 

thats where rap becomes more important and artistic than music, not asmuch these days with hoes dont flow lyrics that 50 cent keeps bringing out.

 

but tupac rapped about real life things, poverty, teenage pregnancy, police brutaliation, whys theres hunger, things that acctuly matter. not to sound good or to make money like almost every artist in the world.

 

tupac gave his money away to people in poverty, and helped people, when he died he had only $120k in his bank

 

hes got music still coming out, he made half his fans believe hes still alive.

 

as far as we're concerned hes a prophet

 

one day people will probably believe hes a god just like they did with jesus, even though there not.

i mean, there humans, humans cant walk on water but thats inspiration and dreams for you

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Well are you sure your gay?

Just because your not into girls doesn't mean your gay. Are you physically attractive to guys? Or do you just feel like your more comfortable around them? If it's the second choice then your not gay. I'm shy with girls and i feel more comfortable and more energetic to talk when i'm around guys but i'm not gay because i like girls, i like picking out the hot ones, telling my friends which one of them i would bang etc.

 

If you're sure that your gay then don't feel isolated from every single human. They're other people on this world that are just like you. If your ugly, then so what. I've seen ugly people around my school but there popular because there actively social. Learn to be more social. I still have a lot of catching up to do with socializing with girls and i'm going to take Anuj's device tounge.gif

 

And don't even think about suicide. Why don't you put yourself in your parents shoes for a second? Think about the morning they wake up the day after they found out you died. Do you really think there going to want to wake up knowing that there son doesn't belong to this world anymore? How do you think they'll get passed it? If that happened to me, i wouldn't be able to face the world another day. Parents who find out their kids die have crazy thoughts of killing themselves so they can be with their kids.

 

And if you're going to tell your parents about your feelings, i suggest you do it when you're a bit older like when your going to college or after. Also when you get out of college and get your own apartment or place, go out and socialize. Go to a movie, go to the mall, go to a bar or a nightclub and meet whatever gender you feel comfortable with.

 

Think about it. icon14.gif

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You can't feel bad about being gay if that's who you are. That's the first thing you need to get over, be proud.

 

As for school, f*ck them, f*ck school. Real Life > school. School isn't life. Friends are life, what you do is life, school is some barrier we have to get through. I do well in school and I have plenty of friends there; but honestly, I hate school with a burning passion, especially now that it's my last semester.

 

I'm a senior in high school now, finally moving on to college, and I'm more detached from school than ever and that's a great thing. Hopefully I won't be going to prom this year, or my senior trip (I went to prom last year so I've already been there and done that) because the last thing I want to do is anything that's related to my high school.

 

Kind of just ranting on how much school bugs me on my last semester, but seriously man, good luck and I hope everything goes well.

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Damn, you're pretty f*cked, aren't you?

 

First off, you seem a little young to be so sure about your sexual orientation. I'd avoid using labels to define yourself until you're for damn sure.

 

Second, who gives a f*ck if you're ugly.

 

Third, social skills are like baseball. Nobody picks up a ball and bat and smacks the ball 400 feet into space. You need to practice your behavior in social situations to get better. Sure, it's a bad analogy because some people are just naturally social, but it doesn't mean that you can't be social if you've never been social. I used the word social a lot in that sentence.

 

Now, killing yourself is a bad idea. Funerals are expensive. If you think somehow killing yourself will make things better, think of the bills your parents are going to have to pay. Caskets, flowers, hearses, funeral service, burial plots, all that sh*t. You really want to put that on your parent's plate? Didn't think so.

@Topic starter: You know, Anuj and the guys do have excellent points over here.

 

Would you really do something that drastic, just because of a

few image probs?

 

And who cares if you have ADHD-type problems?

I do, and I don't care.

 

Well, you know else I have to say?

 

Be yourself, man. Don't let society dictate everything

to you about how you should look, or what sexual orientation

to have, or whatever else might be thrown at you.

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Seriously. Looks don't mean squat. There are lots of times I'll be looking around at school and wonder "How in the f*ck did he get her?" At this point in your life, it's more about social circles, and who you hang out with. The guys and girls just tend to rotate every few weeks. Highschool relationships are generally pretty lame, and have more to do with awkward sexual gestures, and getting used to a nekkid girl, rather than actual true feelings toward a person.

 

 

So don't cash all your chips yet. Just remember that highschool is supposed to be awkward, and that you're just a naive little teenager who's too influenced by his hormones to make rational decisions, and that one day you'll grow up and none of this will matter anymore. icon14.gif

 

Run-on sentences ftw!

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YourNeighborhoodKiller

Not everyone may think you're ugly.

 

Go to clubs or concerts, activities, ect ect and try to meet someone you think you'll get along with.

 

New account: Gezim

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Thanks for the help everyone.I kind of felt better after reading some comments,you're great.

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hmmm .... you need to find a good hobby, if you like cars than you can think of something to do to your dad car, when it will be yours. this will stop you from killing yourself . go to clubs etc.

 

i don't go to clubs because i don't know how to dance. turn.gif

 

lol haven't seen you on the forum bored.gif and you are from 2005 ....

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You sound like a perfect candidate. Army will define you as a person. Join the legion of strangers in France

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You sound like a perfect candidate. Army will define you as a person. Join the legion of strangers in France

[/img]http://www.northernsun.com/images/thumb/100290.jpg[/img]

Not funny.

 

Dude, Everyone will get a partner in life if they try, I mean, look at some of the people you see downtown, Ugly as a donkeys ass, but they still get married, etc.

New account, Joe.
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First of all, being gay shouldn't deter you from living your life. You're doing nothing wrong. It's your own personal choice. Why the hell should you care about the society? People will keep talking coz they don't have other sh*t to talk about. Ignore them.

 

If you really think you're gay and are attracted towards boys and if that's how you want to live your life, find a gay partner. There are many people matching your sexual preference and don't ever think that you've done something wrong. You've as much right to live as any of us. And don't forget freedom of choice. I'm not sure how your family will react to it, but in the due course of time, they're most likely to accept your decision and accept you for who you are, as you are.

 

And don't ever think of suicide. Open your eyes and look at the world. There are so many oppurtunities. I've come across many ugly people. Others laugh at them and mock them in their face. But do they give up on life? NO.

They just ignore them. They make friends who accpet them as they are. Don't be lonely. Go out and make some friends who don't care about how you look. What matters the most is how good you're at your heart.

 

About your sexual orientation, do think carefully over it. It appears as just one simple decision, but remember that you'll be affecting other lives too.

So, if you've even the slightest doubts in your minds about your sexual preference, I suggest you go see a psychiatrist. He'll analyse your situation in a more better way than we ever can and provide better solutions.

 

Remember just one thing - No matter what, keep yourself happy and the world will be at your feet!

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about the ugliness. guys don't care if an other guy is ugly, we care if he is funny and ready to make fun of everything (this is in my country)

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Do you get a boner when you look at naked chicks?

 

If yes,you're straight...or bi.

 

About the nerd thing...well,IDK...

 

Try being funny once in a while.

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"Stealing, running, fighting, punching, kicking, screaming. This is the way I have chosen to live. I will accept the consequences"

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Struff Bunstridge

In the nicest possible way mate, you are only sixteen. No-one, and I mean no-one, skips through their sixteenth year of life like it's a sunny day in June. I don't even remember being sixteen. But, the good news is that, wait for it, being an adult is so much less sh*t than being a kid. Trust me on this.

Unfortunately, you will have to ride out a certain amount of stuff. People will dislike you without knowing you, because of your sexuality (and this is particularly important, and I speak from experience; you are by no means the first person to think the way you do, and you will not be last. sh*t, you're not even the only one on your street), your perceived looks and your way of life. This is because those people are sheep, and are not worth your time, be that socially to their faces, or worrying about what they think of you in the small hours of the morning. Everybody has to do this my friend, and everybody gets through it if they want to. Just make sure you want to.

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