Manhunt 3: Man Up

[Maddok]

I was about to write a Manhunt story a couple months ago, and was planning to write one a couple days ago. Until I saw 'Manhunt 3:Midnight' But thats locked now and I wanna make a MH parody with a new fashion. And just so you all know I'll be using all the characters that didn't make it to MH 1 but was in 'bonus features' such as The Clowns, The Lost, and some gang leaders that didn't make it to MH 1 like BinBag and Scarecrow. So I'm gonna use them...for my own pleasure...lol

 

Manhunt 3: Man Up

 

Story: Nathan Tui (T-oo-ee) Is a normal highschool student that signed up for a program. It didn't show him a name but when he signed it, it promised him better grades. For two months he has been missing from his town and wakes up by the neighbooring town (but doesn't know it). And his adventure begins.

 

Edited March 24, 2008 by Maddok

[Vercetti21]

Some of the chapter names and the plot seem a bit childish, to be honest, but then again I don't know anything about Manhunt or the story. I might check it out.

Edited January 27, 2008 by Vercetti21

[munkeypoo34]

I'll be readin this. Also, just because I was writing Manhunt 3: Midnight, doesn't mean you couldn't of written this.

[Maddok]

Some of the chapter names and the plot seem a bit childish, to be honest, but then again I don't know anything about Manhunt or the story. I might check it out.

Trust me guy childish plots and settings can prove to be scary.

[Maddok]

Chapter 1 Awakening

 

"Having dreams, Of people in white coats, a hot girl with brown hair, signing some kind of form, surgical equipment, and yellow eyes."

 

I hear a cell phone ring waking me up. it appears to me that I'm in a normal room laying on a bed but noticing that this room I'm in is dimmed by darkness and windows boarded up. Where am I? I walk to the phone and listing to who is on the other end.

 

"Good Evening Nathan." He said "I am the caretaker, and you are my experiment."

 

"Who is this? what am I doing here?" I say

 

"Like I said, I'm the Caretaker, you signed the form for my experimentation with you will,and you WILL follow my instructions. Understad?" He asked

 

"Fine, I just want out." I told him "Just tell me what to do and I'll do it."

 

"Good." He said "First I want to you put the phone on 'silent' but edit it but putting the vibrater on so when I call you, you will know that its me, and the others won't hear you."

 

"What others?" I asked

 

"You'll see soon enough." he replied back to me

 

He hangs up and I did what he said, but he didn't tell me how to leave the room. There is a door infront of me I could try that first. I check to see if the door is open, it is so I open it. I slowley go outside the room. The hallway is lit by one lightbulb and I hear footsteps coming my way. The room I left closed shut making a loud sound. The footsteps I hear are coming faster, I see a crowbar infront of me, I quickly grab it and hide in the shadows before the footsteps come closer. I'm hugging a wall that gave me enough shadow to hide in. The Footsteps are in the hallway, I look out the corner and see that is a black man in a wearing a grey bandana over his forehead, holding a similar crowbar.

 

"Where is this cracka." he slangs

 

He walks away from my direction, I'm shaking so much that my legs feel like they are going to collapse, but I stand tall. The phone vibrates, I pick it up.

 

"Don't speak Nathan or he will hear you." he says "Didn't I tell you? Oh yeah I didn't, well anyways for you to leave this city and me, you have to kill your way out. So put everything you know about non-violence away and pack IN the killing spree. There are three kinds of kills I want you to do, Hasty, Violent, and Evil Kill. I want you to Evil Kill this gang banger, and I will open the exit door out of this building Nate, bye."

 

I don't believe I have to do this but if its for my life and a way out I have no choice. The gangbanger comes back out of the room I was in and stars back the way he came from, casually walking. I walk behind him with the crowbar over my head. He stops and starts to turn around so I had to act fast, I swing the crowbar with it locking onto his neck. He starts squirming, waving his crowbar trying to hit me but keeps missing. I lay my knee on his back and pull the crowbar back towards me, the gangbanger trys to scream but gargles out blood. I pull back hard and tear open his neck, with what seems like gallons of blood spewing out.

I unlock the crowbar from his tore up neck and look in his dead eyes. I feel a tear running down my cheek, I collapse to the floor crying my eyes out, for killing a person, oh what pain I felt inside. The phone vibrates again and I listen to what the Caretaker has to say.

 

"Good boy Nathan, you first kill haha." he cockingly says "Now go to the end of the hallway and leave the building."

 

I hang up and move to the end of the hallway but the door is locked and a window to my left is wide open. I climb out of it onto the porch roof looking down and remembering that I'm scared of heights. I see another gangbanger with a T-shirt of the letters "TVB".

 

"Yo, Manic. Where are you nigga?" he calls out.

 

He walks towards the porch and stops to look inside. I creep infront, above him as he starts to walk away. I raise my crowbar shaking away the anxiety and scarce feelings. I jump off the roof. The gangbanger barely sees me jump off the roof. He trys to run away but was too late. I shoved the crowbar down his head reaching the bottum of his throat. I pull the crowbar out and swing it across his head. I start to smile and grip the crowbar like I was able to snap it in half. I raise it above my head to bash my own head in. Feeling beaten by the ambitions of the Caretaker I get ready to kill myself.

But before I do I look up ahead and see something standing ontop of a wall. He or it has a body of a man but has a camera for a head. I feel the phone vibrating in my pants, I keep my eyes on this strange thing while I talk with Caretaker.

 

"So I see you met one of my accomplishments. I call him Cam-Head, he's an animatronic being to watch over you so I wont have cameras all over the place to possibly get destroyed by you or the gang members of this city. Now go, go into the world and KILL!!!"

 

I hang up the phone and watch the Cam Head jump down from the other side of the wall and disappear. I follow the Cam Head's trail by hopping the wall. I'm in a dark alley now, seeing a bat full of nails and more TVB gang members.

Edited February 3, 2008 by Maddok

[Maddok]

Chapter 2 Trill Ville Boys

 

"I'm sorry Nathan I forgot to say, TVB means Trill Ville Boys. These little bastards have nothing to live for anymore, but have eachother. I want to you rub them out Nathan, TAKE THEM OUT!!!" Caretaker tells me

 

I'm in the end of the alley I stay in the shadows. I see the TVB members walking around with crowbars and bats. I see the baseball bat packed with nails on it, but it's out in the open and I can't seem to get it without TVB noticing. I sneak towards the end of the shadows in the alley, almost touching light. I wait about a minute when they all are looking away. A minute pass and they all look in different directions. I grab the bat and hugged the wall into the shadows. One is walking my way I think he saw me grab the bat. I start to pant, my heart races, I think I'm having an anxiety attack or hyperventilating. I keep my calm and breath. I look down to my left and see a brick. Maybe I can use it to lure him away. I grab it, and when I feel that he's close enough I throw it towards the shadows deeper in the alley.

 

"What was that?" He asks himself

 

I don't reply, I wait 'til his back is turned and sneak behind him. I feel confident and not afriad anymore. I quickly jump behind him grab and close his mouth, swing the bat with nails back and hit his balls. He screams but I keep his mouth shut. I swing again and hit the left side of his head, blood starts to squirt out and he stops moving. I let go of him and start to watch him collapse but while he

collapses I lean back and swing powerfully to the same side of his head again. He jumps to the right and blood splats all over the wall. After, I lift the bat and see a chunk of his scalp on the nails. Appalled by the sight I take it off with the tips of my fingers, and throw it away. I shiver and shake from that, but I start to focus again.

The other TVB members don't notice what I did. Good, so I run out on the street in another shadow infront of a door under a porch roof. I look to see if the other TVB members saw me, but they didn't. I hit the wall next to the door to attract another one of the TVB members. But what I get is both of the rest of the TVB boys in the street. They are both walking towards me, I start to feel a small anxiety now. I see them right infront of me and stare into the shadows im in but can't see me.

 

I don't know how long it'll take for me to kill them, so I act now. I swing the bat and it gets stuck under the TVB member's jaw. He gargles out blood and his eyes roll back until he dies. I kick the other TVB member out of the way, I then release the bat from the dead TVB members jaw and swing it at the other TVB member. I miss at first, he tries to get up but I stop him, He turns to his stomach and crawls but I swing the bat and hit his back. He screams outloud but no one else is around. I release the bat from his back and watch the blood come out, he tries to crawl away but I hit him two more times in the back until he stops moving. I still see him breathing so he'll die eventually. But, I don't want to take chances of him living so I bash his head in. The strange thing is, that I feel weird now, I don't seem to be afriad or angry at myself for killing anymore. Am I starting to enjoy this? or am I blank,I feel nothing now. I look across the street and see a building labeled the "Inner Core". Looks like a scary place where more TVB members are.

 

The phone vibrates again, so I pick it up and listen to what Caretaker has to say.

 

"If your looking at the Inner Core then thats where you need to go, Thats another step for you to leave me and this place goodluck Nate HAHAHA." He says while hanging up.

 

I walk towards the Inner Core, there are double doors with metal barrels to the sides of them in flames. Looks like a obvious entrance. I walk to open the doors but...

 

"RRAAHHHH..."

 

Another TVB member explodes out of the door and almost hits me with a meat cleaver. He swings again, and agian, not giving me a chance to defend myself. I jump back and run. He manages to cut my arm as I run. I try to hide in the shadows but he keeps finding me. My hearts racing, and my it feels like my veins are pumping battery acid. I run as fast as I can to get away into another shadow behind a dumpster by the sidewalk and watch as he runs by. I pant quietly so that he wont hear me. I shake away the fear and wipe the tears. He comes in my direction and looks in the shadows of where I am. I hold my breath and try hard not to move.

 

"Errr, come out come out, WHEREVER YOU ARE!!!" He screams out

 

He turns around and I get up to attack, but I don't feel my bat in my hands. I must've dropped it while he was chasing me. I look down to see if there is anything I can use. I pick up a glass shard, it looks pretty sharp. The gang member walks to another shadow to see if I'm in it. I raise the shard and jump ontop of him. I knock him down and stab his back, then his neck. I get up and push him on his back. He starts to cough out blood and bloody tears are coming fron his eyes. I stop the tears by stabbing both his eye sockets and leave the glass shard in them. I get the meat cleaver from his lifeless hands and the bat with nails. I also tear a part of the dead TVB boys shirt and wrap it around my cut so It'll stop bleeding.

Now, I continue on, into the Inner Core.

Edited January 31, 2008 by Maddok

[Maddok]

Chapter 3 Inner Core

 

I open the door to the Inner Core. It's dimmed by darkness, but I see a small orange light towards the end of the hallway. As I reach the end of the hallway I start to hear voices In a room. I get close enough to listen and hide in the shadows at the same time.

 

"Yo, have you heard? Some cracka iced Manic, and T-bag."

 

"No."

 

"Yeah, and I ain't seen Creep that watches the door. You think something happen to'em?"

 

"Nah, I bet he just smokin' weed wit' the others."

 

"Yeah, you right. Lets just chill, ain't nothin' gonna happen hear."

 

"Heard that nigga."

 

Listening to their conversation, they found out about me. I don't know how they found out, but I don't intend to stay long enough to find out. After listening to them It that the Inner Core goe's in deeper. Because I see a open door with has what looks like stairs going down. At the very end of the hallway. I take a quick peek in the room that the two gangbangers are in and they seem to be in the direction of a TV set smoking weed. Now is my chance. I creep across the doorway trying not to attract them. I seem to be in out of harms way here so I continue on. But as I walk to the open doorway the floor creaks and one of the gangbangers start walk out to where the creaking came from. I quickly find a shadowed area but it's very slim, I hope he doesn't spot me. I slowely take out the meat cleaver and grasp it, getting ready for yet another kill.

 

In fear that the gangbanger will stay alert I will have to kill him, and possibly the other one also. The gangbanger isn't as alert anymore and turns around and heads back to his room with the other gangbanger. I come from behind the gangbanger and swing the meat cleaver at his neck. With one fatal blow his severed head hangs around his shoulders. I don't want to risk the other gangbanger from hearing me so I catch the dead gangbangers body from falling and making noise. I drag him to a more wider shadowed area. The phone vibrates again, I pick it up and listen.

 

"Well, it wasn't a violent or evil kill but I'll take it. I see you killed the gangbanger that has the bluetooth headset. Take it and use it I'll convert his number to yours so you can listen to my lustrous some more." Caretaker instructs.

 

I take and put the bluetooth headset to my ears and wait for Caretaker to talk.

 

"Testing testing, one two three four...69. You hear me good Nate?" He asks

 

"Yes." I whisper.

 

"Ok good, Don't worry about the other gangbanger I'll let one of the camheads take care of him. Now Go on." Caretaker says.

 

I turn around and see two more camheads, both with weapons. I don't want to know what they'll do to that still living gangbanger, but I don't want to find out. I continue on going downstairs. As I walk downstairs I notice clown depictions of clowns. All the clown depictions look sadistic. As I reach the bottum of the stairway I see writing on the wall saying "No TVB ALLOWED, CLOWNS"

I start to hear screams as I approach a doorway.

 

I look through the doorway and see a heavyweighted bald man with red paint looking like a devil on his face, with a big smile. Wearing a dark blue polka-dotted jumpsuit and carrying a big machete, he holds down a TVB member.

 

"Please let me go, I won't come back in Clown territory again." The TVB member says.

 

"Sorry home boy, but you JUST DON'T CUT IT!!!

(lifts up machete, and continuously stabs the TVB member.)

 

Seeing how sadistic these Clowns are, I can't go easy on them. I take out my bat and ready myself to kill this crazy sadistic clown.

[Maddok]

Chapter 4 Clowning Around

 

I've never liked clowns, they always freaked me out. If I want out, then I'll have to get passed the Clowns. I look at that horrible clown and see him licking the blood off the machete and cutting the palm of his hand to give himself sick pleasure.

 

"Awwwww, that HURTS so gooood hehe." he says

 

He then walks away to put his machete away in a cabinet chock full of weapons.

The clown goes to a near by couch and lounges around while raking up cocain on a table and sniffs it down in a hurry. I don't want to attract him because I scared of him even coming near me, So I put my bat away. I remember on how when I was younger, I was in the boy scouts. And they taught me on how to throw sharp objects. I take out my meat cleaver, and I make sure I keep the weight on the handle steady. I hold my breathe and throw, striking his head with extreme force, it makes a large amount of blood gush from his head.

 

"Awww, Clowns, those f*cking crazy bastards. They can't hunt anything down before snortin' up all kinds of drugs to get them hyped up. Whether or not this enhances their performance. They just like the crack of it. Be careful kid, I don't want you to die too early 'cause they are pretty good hunting experts." Caretaker says

 

"Hmmm, very frightening Caretaker I'll keep that in mind." I respond

 

This room has red paint all over the walls just splattered all over the place. It can't be blood because there's too much of it, but I could be wrong. But that aside I walk to the cabinet and see what kind of weapons are in it. I open it and it glimmers in my sight. I try not to get carried away so I picked the most fitting ones for me. a Remington shotgun, a curved machete, and pepper spray if needed. I close the cabinet and look to my left and see a full metaled iron barred door with a windowed eye peeker. Right below the barred I see words written in blood "This way to the Circus!!!" I try to open the door but it's locked shut. I knock on the door and see a door guard opening the peek hole behind it.

 

"YOUR NOT GINZO, GET LOST CHUMP!!!" He yells at me

 

The clown member closes the peek hole and starts to unlock the door. I think fast and hide in the nearest shadowed area taking out my shotgun. The clown opens the door and enters the room. Holding a handgun. As he enters he notices the body of the dead clown.

 

"Ginzo, who did this to you? Well, I don't care, as long as I get your sh*t I'm fine with you dying haha." He chuckles

 

The doorman clown walks towards the table Ginzo was near and fill his pockets with the drugs on the table. I now see my chance, I get as close as I can with the shotgun and shoot the back of the clowns knee caps. He lets out a loud yell, and tries to aim the handgun at me. I then, shoot his arm clean off with the handgun and watch the blood squirt out. The clown instead of bickering and crying starts to giggle and laugh. I walk in front of him and look him in his eyes. I smile, and put the shotgun under the clowns jaw. Then BANG, I shoot off the whole front part of his no longer smiling face with a spray of blood on mine.

Seeing on how these clowns are, I wouldn’t want to attract too much attention. There are dresser draws in this room I can look into for some makeup. I find white paint, black paint, grey paint, and blue lipstick I put the white, black, and grey paint into making me look like a skull. I paint my lips black, and draw blue lines on my face with the lipstick to look more like of a tribal theme. Seeing the clothes I’m wearing, they won’t believe that I look like one of them. I undress Ginzo’s corpse and put the blue polka dotted jumpsuit on. Now I look legit.

 

I put my weapons away and walk inwards the metal door into a place much, much darker place. As I walk through a darkened hallway, I see clowns sitting and sniffing coke, inject themselves with a syringes, raping women, and decapitating TVB members. As I get closer I see a large two door entry way with Clown guards holding sub-machine guns. I walk forwards towards them. They get a good look at me and open the doors. There I see in front of my eyes a humongous concrete room with red and yellow paint strides to make this room look like a circus tent. There’s loud metal music, clown men and women dancing, laughter all around me.

 

“I do not feel comfortable here...seriously.” I say to myself

 

Then all of a sudden the lights turn off. One light turns on with the light facing to what seems like a stage. A hole appears with a figure of a man in a purple top hat rising. The man in the purple top hat raises his arms to his shoulders and yells.

 

“WELCOME, TO, THE CIRCUS OF HELL.....HA HA HA HA HA HA...”

[GTA: RUSSIA]

Obviously, Nobody is reading this.

 

it's pretty sh*tty anyways.

[Oblivionz]

 

Obviously, Nobody is reading this.

 

it's pretty sh*tty anyways. 

Eh, I read it, just didn't think it was worth commenting on though.

There's a few things you can fix up, especially the dialog.

 

 

"Awwwww, that HURTS so gooood hehe." he says

 

To improve that, it could be

 

"Aww, that hurts so goood!", the clown said with a cruel laugh.

 

You don't have enough description at all, so try and improve on that.

[Chickstick]

it's pretty sh*tty anyways.

Don't even bother to post if you're only going to put something like that.

 

I agree about the description. There's not enough of it, and what little there is boring and doesn't really capture the reader's imagination. Work on improving that, nad the chapters you've already posted, before you do anything else.

[Maddok]

I'm just 12 years old dude (Pic under my name is from the net), I never wrote a first person view present story b4 and I got a D in my English class so I gots alot of things to improve like you said.

 

and to gta russia when you said that no one is reading this story it was at 360's in how many people viewed. Now it jumped to 418 (last time I checked. Also, I'd like to see you write something better you gitty f*ck.

Edited March 24, 2008 by Maddok