Jimmy Tango Posted December 24, 2007 Share Posted December 24, 2007 My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over a year. She's smart, funny, her family loves me, she loves me, and we are supposed to be getting married when we are out of college (in about 1.5 years). The girl I was with before that, well, I was with her for three years, she was my first love, and her family hates me. Here's the problem: The current GF (Kaylyn) and I fight all the time. Never violently, but we have a lot of heated arguements, and I've never felt like she was "the one." The ex (Kate) just waltzed into my life again a week ago after not seeing her for over a year, we hang out (not behind anyone's back. Kaylyn knew), and she tells me that dumping me was the biggest mistake she's eer made, she still loves me, and she wants me back. I, being the idiot that I am, tell her my true feelings about her, which are that I'm still in love with her. I'm really in a bind here. I have a rock on one side and a hard place on the other, with my heart being tugged by a girl on top of each one. What would you do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet J Lou Posted December 25, 2007 Share Posted December 25, 2007 sh*t man. Sounds bad. Take my advice and f*ck both of them and take the one that is more fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HawaiianHardHitter Posted December 25, 2007 Share Posted December 25, 2007 Sounds like a problem my friend had before. You're in quite a bundle here brah. All I have to say is, choose the one who makes you feel happy being with them. With all the heated arguments going on with your current GF, I'll have to say that you two should just seprate for a while. I'm not saying you should break it up, you both should have time away from each other and when it all calms down between you two, you both should work it out. If it doesn't work out, then choose the one who makes you happy being with her. You should mindle with your ex's parents and try to get along. I know it'll be a bitch getting along with their family sometimes, just try your best. I hope this advice helps ya out brah. Or my next suggestion would be having a dating competition like the Bachelor and have dates with the both of them to see who you love best. Hope things work out for ya. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmy Tango Posted December 26, 2007 Author Share Posted December 26, 2007 Thanks. I'm actually trying to not cheat on Kaylyn, but I see what y'all mean. The problem is, they are both awesome, just in different ways. Anyone else got anything? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ben Posted December 26, 2007 Share Posted December 26, 2007 I heard once that relationships need challenges (like arguments) regularly, else they don't grow. Provided you can resolve the disagreement, the relationship is supposed to strengthen as a result - I guess it's a learning experience, in a way. I don't really agree with this point of view, although I can see where it's coming from. In my opinion, you're better off being happy, and if you aren't conflicting with your partner all the time, then you're more likely to be happy than if you are - as far as I'm concerned, it's how you deal with and resolve the conflict that's most important. That aside, you also have to consider that in a marriage, you not going to be living with your GF's family - you're going to be living with her. And whilst it's nice when you get along with her family, that's really just a bonus - you need to pick the one you feel is going to make the pair of you the happiest. And based on what you said originally, it sounds like it's your ex - just make sure she's going to stick around for the long haul this time (make her prove her commitment somehow - girls do it to us guys all the time , so do it to her instead). Good luck with it anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Girish Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 Thanks. I'm actually trying to not cheat on Kaylyn, but I see what y'all mean. The problem is, they are both awesome, just in different ways. Anyone else got anything? Trying, eh? This kind of thing boils down to 'who are you more comfortable with'? If you feel that your current gf is not the one, then she isn't right for you and you won't be happy with her. You feel attracted to your ex only coz she's your first love and first love is very hard to get over (I'm still in the process). Though I'd have tried to keep my distance from my ex. I think in your case, you're better off with your ex. If you're already having heated arguments with your current girlfriend, just think what's gonna happen after marriage? You certainly wouldn't want to get married off in a hurry to a wrong girl and then repent it. Think about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spursfan111 Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 Stay with you're current girl man if you go with you're ex you'll probably find out it was just lust. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Claude GTA3 Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 Which one of them is hotter? pick the hotter one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iminicus Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 Words of infinite advice: Ignore Internet advice. I think in your situation your best bet is to not do anything. You already have a girlfriend/ fiance, so why would you risk f*cking that up because of your 'true feelings.' Get over your ex. Hanging with her in a 'strictly platonic' way will only lead to doubts, regrets, and honesty. You have have a good thing with your current lady friend. Her family loves you, so you are accepted into their family. She loves you. You fight, that is good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmy Tango Posted January 4, 2008 Author Share Posted January 4, 2008 Ok, well, by trying I mean that I'm not doing it. And I didn't mean to run into her. I was in Chicago, and she happened to be at the same train station that I was. Not my fault. Anyhow, I am just gonna stay with Kaylyn. She's great. We have our issues, but what couple doesn't? And Iminucsm I know. This wasn't advice that I was gonna take seriously. I just needed some opinions. None of you know me well enough for me to take anything y'all say to heart. No offense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spoof Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 @Jimmy T - Given that you’re not even out of college, you’re still very young (even though you might not think it right now). The problem is that you’re old enough to have experienced a little bit of life, but not experienced enough to know that such uncertainty is merely par for the course. The advice I would give to you is to live life a little more before you embark on a serious commitment. However: Girl no.1 – Ain’t no future there Girl no.2 – Ain’t no future there My advice is to find girl approx. no.10-20 and live happily ever after (or not), because that is the statistical probability of the matter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vercetti21 Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Definitely don't cheat on her, it will only end up making your current girlfriend hurt, and from what I can tell you want to take the easy way out. Well my friend, you really can't depend on internet advice, as said before. Go with your gut, decide which one you think is best for you. Which one do you see yourself with in 20 years? Which one makes you the happiest? And considering the circumstances, do you think a relationship with your old girlfriend will last? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmy Tango Posted February 9, 2008 Author Share Posted February 9, 2008 Ok, so the ex ended up f*cking me over anyhow. I'm just gona stick with Kaylyn. And by the way, I'm not that young. I'm 23, but I've been living on my own since I was 16. This is going to be my second degree, which is why I'm stil in school. And Kaylyn is actually like girl 22. I think I'm making a good decision. Thanks for the advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGuyFromThere Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 Go with the one you love who also loves you Who also loves you Finding someone that loves you who you love just as much is pretty rare, as you're finding out. Don't sacrifice it. inactive Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shylock Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 I'd stick with what you got. Not to put a relationship into such analogies but a bird in the hand with worth two in the bush... Which means, if you are happy with what you have. Then that should be all you want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reincarnated Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 Kinda late, but if you aim to get married, get married to someone you can stand. The better friends you are, the better the marriage will be. When you're 60, its not going to matter if she was a babe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie280 Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 What youve got to try and distinguish is the nostalgia you feel for the old relationship you had with your Ex from the reality of your current feelings for her and your situation. If you find yourslef liking your ex because she came back dramaticaly and it all seems so perfect and like a fairytale then you probably shouldnt trust that this will last or be any different from the last time. Also your ex may seem exciting and new in a way because you could be fretting over the commitment you have made to your current girlfriend. And so to have someone walk back into your life like you ex could seem like and escape from the long term relationship your from. My advice would be to ask your Ex what her true feelings are for you and if they dont seem deep enough or seem more like she wants some fun then break it off and stay with your current girlfriend. You have a good thing going there and it would be stupid to let that go for something which is not as real or meaningful. But you do have to make sure your not making a mistake by missing this opportunity, and so it would be best to guage how serious your ex is about how she feels. Good luck man. Im sure you'll make the right choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ph3L1z14n0 Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 I heard once that relationships need challenges (like arguments) regularly, else they don't grow. Provided you can resolve the disagreement, the relationship is supposed to strengthen as a result - I guess it's a learning experience, in a way. I don't really agree with this point of view Why not? it's how life works, you become a better person by resolving the constant conflicts presented to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stefan. Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 I hope you've made the right choice. You need to follow your heart before your brain. If you're brain says that the girl you are with currently is better for you because you won't go through emotional stress, and her family accepts you. If you follow your heart, you'll go with the girl you love the most, and the one you want to be with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
voteneg Posted April 22, 2008 Share Posted April 22, 2008 go with whichever is most like your mom. I'm not kidding either. Men who marry women who are in many ways like their mothers are usually happier with their spouses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reptilexcq Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 Dude, sometimes arguments create a stronger bond between you 2. I used to argue with my girl all the time about things and upset her and she upsets me but still end up back again and again and again for no reason. And i notice each time getting back, the bond is stronger. If the arguments is nothing serious, then you should not dump her or try to rid her. If she bother you too much, then you should give her the option that you could be leaving her and see what she think...sort of like testing her. You should not cheat just because you still have feeling for someone long ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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