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Let's Play Real Life


WidowMaker
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You are in your Mum's house, in your bedroom. Your name is Fat Peter. Your favourite game is 'World of Warcraft.' You are wearing green pyjamas with rocket ship print.

 

There are posters on the wall of Q from Star Trek: TNG and Yasha Yar from Star Trek: TNG.

 

Your mum is shouting you for breakfast from the North. What do you want to do?

FT2DB7K.png

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Tell mom to stfu and have a quick wank to the Q poster.

kYTcSVO.gif

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tuff_luv_capo

Lol I'm too busy pwning on this raid

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After wanking, proceed to log onto the "system node" internet chat service under the moniker "Zeta" and start to spread tales of cousin lust.

No dough this post will get questions and and maybe even some fighting.

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Tell mom to stfu and have a quick wank to the Q poster.

>look at posters

 

You stare at your Startrek : The Next Generation posters with wonder.

You think of all the achievements of Q and Yar, how they outweigh all others in the history of man.

Yar the first red coat to last a few seasons, a brave achievement.

While our lord Q saved us from the borg...

 

What did anybody else ever do that could possibly compare?

 

FT2DB7K.png

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You clean yourself up, put away the Dora hand lotion and haul yourself out of bed. As you stare at yourself in the mirror wondering when the monstrous pimple on your nose will pop, you contemplate your secret lust for Wesley Crusher.

kYTcSVO.gif

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South, through the bedroom window.

>go south

 

Try turning round in exactly the other direction, towards where your mum is (north).

 

FT2DB7K.png

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You are in your Mum's house, in your bedroom. Your name is Fat Peter. Your favourite game is 'World of Warcraft.' You are wearing green pyjamas with rocket ship print.

 

There are posters on the wall of Q from Star Trek: TNG and Yasha Yar from Star Trek: TNG.

 

Your mum is shouting you for breakfast from the North. What do you want to do?

You end up losing the game match on WOW. It makes Peter mad, so mad He's tired of his Mom bitching and grabs His plastic Blue lightsaber which He pretends is real and He pretends he's really a Jedi and beats His Mother to death with it. Theres blood all over the counter, the floor and the pancakes His Mom made him. He's in the corner laughing about Pwning Noobs at Wow and the police, Judge, Jury and media blame Warcraft for His violence. Later they point out he also listioned to Marilyn Manson.

 

Peter is a Loony Toon.

fV9tG4b.gif

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You smell eggy wegs sizzling in bacon grease to the NORTH. You step into the hallway.

kYTcSVO.gif

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Stop hi-jacking my thread, you f*ckers.

 

 

North

 

>go north

 

Shouldn't you get dressed first?

FT2DB7K.png

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Hayden Stasven

Before continuing North through the hallway you get dressed and check the room for traps. You find a trap door.

 

Do you:

- Walk into the trap.

- Turn around, find an alternate route.

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tuff_luv_capo
Before continuing North through the hallway you check the room for traps. You find a trap door.

 

Do you:

- Walk into the trap.

- Turn around, find an alternate route.

stfu and gtfo

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Stop hi-jacking my thread, you f*ckers.

 

 

North

 

>go north

 

Shouldn't you get dressed first?

Put on your furry costume (Wolf?)

9QRzUfn.gif?1

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lolwhoops.

 

Gets dressed.

>get dressed

 

You put on your Starfleet Captain's uniform. There are light-coloured stains in the crotch, but you don't care. Now you are ready for breakfast in the North.

FT2DB7K.png

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Hayden Stasven

Sorry 'bout my little rouse. I'm actually kinda confused, can someone tell me how exactly this works (perhaps by PM)?

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Go NORTH.

>go NORTH

 

KITCHEN

 

Your bedroom opens directly onto the kitchen, which is handy for all your midnight raids on the fridge when your mum's not looking. Mum is standing in the oven. On the table there is a plate of your favourite breakfast - beans and a waffle.

FT2DB7K.png

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tuff_luv_capo
Go NORTH.

>go NORTH

 

KITCHEN

 

Your bedroom opens directly onto the kitchen, which is handy for all your midnight raids on the fridge when your mum's not looking. Mum is standing in the oven. On the table there is a plate of your favourite breakfast - beans and a waffle.

Load them up with Ole bay

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Is the mother a fire-dwarf?

>talk to mum

 

She is busy inside the oven. Her eyes aren't open properly and she smells of vodka. She mutters something about you needing a haircut.

 

Maybe we should ignore mum for now.

FT2DB7K.png

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>examine OVEN

kYTcSVO.gif

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tuff_luv_capo

 

Is the mother a fire-dwarf?

>talk to mum

 

She is busy inside the oven. Her eyes aren't open properly and she smells of vodka. She mutters something about you needing a haircut.

 

Maybe we should ignore mum for now.

As I said, load up the ole bay

 

edit: omfg just get the ole bay already

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>examine OVEN

>check OVEN

 

The oven has mum inside it, the gas is turned on full.

FT2DB7K.png

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