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Police "Quotes"


Ricardo.
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Hopefully when the Police chases you they can use their megaphones on their vehicle. Rockstar always adds funny stuff into their grand theft auto games, perhaps this one will be a great one...

 

(When Niko is on foot)

 

 

Put your hands in the air....and wave them like you just don't care!

 

-What memorable quotes would you like to see/hear?

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^

It's from a song, you probably haven't heard of it...

I saw it in the 'George Lopez Show' two nights ago, it was a good one.

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Lifestyles of The Cool

 

sly.gif Things I would love to hear the Cops say, #1 Yippy Kyi Yae Mother F***er, #2 Hey! Hey! I will shoot your A** Mother F***er, #3 What you doing out here son, look at me when i'm talking to you boy!, #4 Get on the pavement, and spread them cheeks, I said balls on the ground!, #5 Liberty City Police, don't move, or i'll, damnit I said don't move!, #6 This is officer Al Crakker calling for backup, we got one suspect on foot, going down 5th & something, he's the fastest Mother F***er alive!, #7 (Gun shots ring, BLAM!, BLAM!, BLAM!) Oh yeah, Freeze Mother F***er!, #8 This is Sqaud Car 69 calling in, i'm on the corner of 5th & something, where's the closest doughnut shop., #9 You have the right to sit face first on the pavement, and shut the F**k up!, #10 Keep moving people, nothing here to see, but two dead victims, I mean suspects, HEY!, don't forget to sprinkle crack on 'em! sly.gif

Edited by Lifestyles of The Cool
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^

Haha, number 5 and 8 were the funniest!

 

One of them reminds me of SuperBad, "Pussies on the pavement, fellas!"

and something-to-do-with-your-"SISTA" and "BONITA"

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few of these are from movies or i just made up

 

1) Show me your ass!...... i mean show me your hands

 

2) you have the right to shut the hell up!

 

3) I garantee you with enough force this gun will be up your ass

 

4) pull over.... i said pull over...... ohhh why wont you pull over, ill give you a doughnut

 

5) i'll give you $5 if you get him in the head.

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few of these are from movies or i just made up

 

1) Show me your ass!...... i mean show me your hands

 

2) you have the right to shut the hell up!

 

3) I garantee you with enough force this gun will be up your ass

 

4) pull over.... i said pull over...... ohhh why wont you pull over, ill give you a doughnut

 

5) i'll give you $5 if you get him in the head.

i see homer simpson in a police uniform saying #4

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#6 This is officer Al Crakker calling for backup, we got one suspect on foot, going down 5th & something, he's the fastest Mother F***er alive!

 

hahaha that would be good for a fat cop to say lol its like what the cops in superbad said they were hilarious in that movie

Edited by JoeMac
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Algonquin Assassin

Cop over radio- "We have the suspect in sight, and he is......oh sh*t wrong guy".

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ishouldntbehere

There's a line from Aladdin 3 that I always thought was really funny--

 

In the context of IV, a ton of cops encircle Niko who has his hands up and they're all pointing their guns directly at him:

 

(serious cop) "Do not attempt to move or we will be shooting ourselves."

 

 

 

...Well, I thought t was funny anyway...

 

It's late.

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Here are a few of mine:

 

"5 points if you hit him in the ass."

 

"Isnt that that guy who kicked your ass last week?"

 

"Screw this, I'm going out for donuts."

 

"Did any of you see where he went?"

 

i'll think of a few more. biggrin.gif

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some quotes from VCS:

 

"don't move that joystick" (which means don't move the analog stick)

 

"im gonna be your boyfriend now" (which means that when you are in jail, you're staying with him/her tounge2.gif )

 

some others.................

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bigmitchbaker

some i made up

1)cop1:umm i hit a old lady

cop2:5 points for you

cop1:sweet 5 nil

2)cop1:put your hands on your head now your sholder

now your knees and toes strats sing the song

cop2:suspect got away again

3)k9 cop:oh god the dog farted in the squd car

k9 cops partner:no that was me

 

lame i know but yeah orly.gif

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beanmachine43

While fleeing in a vehicle - "What the fu*k is this Midnight Club? Get out of the damn car."

 

SWAT (or whatever its called) - "Sweep the area for health pick-ups."

 

Cop 1 - "Don't let him go inside!"

Cop 2 - "It's okay; no load times."

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I know it's a joke but still

 

Cop 1- Why are all black people fast?!

Cop 2 - Why!?

Cop 1 - Because all the slow ones are in jail

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"Damnit I was just about to get a high score on Tony Hall's Amatuer Grinder!"

 

"Hey I can see my house from here!"

"You live in the sh*ttest neighbourhood"

user posted image
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beanmachine43

 

I know it's a joke but still

 

Cop 1-  Why are all black people fast?!

Cop 2 - Why!?

Cop 1 - Because all the slow ones are in jail

*[insert overly mispelled, unneeded post about racism here]

 

@lawlz at ryuclan's first, blackadder's second.

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I reacon when your arrested they should say:

"Your under arrest for (such and such), you have the right to consult a lawyer, if you cannot afford a lawyer you will be provided with the dumbest fu*ken attorney on the whole damn planet!!"

 

Now that would be a laugh. Of course they wouldnt say this everytime, cos that would just get gay but on those rare occasions, it could provide some laughs

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^

It's from a song, you probably haven't heard of it...

I saw it in the 'George Lopez Show' two nights ago, it was a good one.

I've heard of the song, and it was f*ckin pathetic for humor.

 

 

The helicopter quotes are the best:

 

 

f*ck, im out of ammo!

 

Don't worry i've got more

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These are typical quotes which cops could use. Hope you enjoy.

 

*When i cop is beating on you*

 

"I told you id catch ya. Here comes the pain"

"You're in my Pond now. And I'm the big fish that runs it"

" When I'm done with you. You wont f*ck with me again punk"

" Let me hear you squeal boy"

 

*Cops chasing you on foot*

 

" Stop, I'm not gonna hurt ya"

" Don't make me Pound You're ass"

" Quit running you bitch and fight me"

" If i catch you. You're ass is mine back at the compound"

Edited by Darrel
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One I heard in SA was:

"First I'm gonna beat you up, then I'm gonna beat you off"

Classic!

 

Can't think of anything but pathetic ones at the moment, it's late.

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One I heard in SA was:

"First I'm gonna beat you up, then I'm gonna beat you off"

Classic!

 

Can't think of anything but pathetic ones at the moment, it's late.

Ha ha ha. That has got to be one of the best ones i have heard.

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When a cop is wandering around:

 

"Only 59minutes and 47 seconds till next donut break, Only 59minutes and 46 seconds till next donut break, Only 59minutes and 45 seconds ti......."

 

"I like imagining my dad when I beat people!"

 

"Why is this uniform so tight? Oh well time for a trip to the donu.. 'cough' coffee shop"

 

"Why did father John do that to me? OH WHY?!?"

 

"Hey you should respect me! Or I'll beat you for no apprarent reason!

 

I'll come up with some more in time

 

Heres one for when a pig is chasing you:

 

"I'd chase you but sgt said I have to get my lardy, donut eating ass to the gym!"

 

oh and this

 

"For the right price I'll let you go...your wallet, car or 4 donuts are your options?!

 

 

 

 

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beanmachine43

 

One I heard in SA was:

"First I'm gonna beat you up, then I'm gonna beat you off"

Classic!

 

Can't think of anything but pathetic ones at the moment, it's late.

As a member who used to wrap his text in red, I curse you for using green font. It's a bitch to read with the X-Mas skin.

 

@more lawlz at everybody using doughnut references in their quotes. biggrin.gif

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One I heard in SA was:

"First I'm gonna beat you up, then I'm gonna beat you off"

Classic!

 

Can't think of anything but pathetic ones at the moment, it's late.

Ha ha ha. That has got to be one of the best ones i have heard.

That one sounds funnier on paper (well err... webpage!) than it does in the game.

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Here's a few i've thought of:

 

Cop: Hey asshole! Pullover!!

#You speed away#

Cop: Aww sh*t, I wanna donut...

 

and another two:

 

#Cop shoots you a few times#

Cop: You have the right to remain wasted bitch!

 

Cop: Lock and load boys, we got ourselves a runner...

#Pulls out Magnum#

 

finally:

 

Hick Cop: You city freak!, we here in Liberty State don't a take too kindly to being shot at! ... robbed maybe cos its an excuse to pull out the shotgun...

 

More to come!

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