The Unvirginiser Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 (edited) The History Of The Future 2008 – Channel tunnel bombed, Al Qaeda claim responsibility, 178 lives lost. - New American President elected, announces mission to Mars for 2011 2009 – N. Korea fires long range ballistic missile. Again it is a dud, however it proves to the world that they can now attack Los Angeles, San Francisco, Beijing, Seoul, Tokyo, Sydney and New Delhi. - Osama Bin Laden caught by Turkish Immigration trying to cross the Iranian border in women’s religious clothing, hiding his face. Arrested and awaiting trial. 2010 - Golden Gate Bridge is destroyed by several car bombs. Al Qaeda claim responsibility. Bin Laden still awaits trial. - Bin Laden is sentenced to death by firing squad. - Negotiations intensify with North Korea to disarm their nuclear weapons. N Korea refuses and insists that it has the right to defend itself with Nuclear weapons and will not be policed by America. 2011 – Rocket to Mars launched, 5 men aboard, two months in to journey rocket is mysteriously lost. - Hunter shoots Bigfoot in Colorado. Bigfoot is wounded and is taken by mountain rangers to an animal hospital. Dies two days later. International hatred campaign for the hunter. Hunter eventually drive-byed outside his home. 2012 – China announces that it will defend any country that it feels is being bullied by America with its full military capabilities. - America announces that it will begin to colonize the moon. 2013 – Massive missile attacks on Afghanistan by America, France, Britain and Spain. Police raids in Britain and France. An estimated 85% of Al Qaeda members are either in prison or dead. - First ship sent to the moon. Construction of New Washington and New London begins. 2014 – Last members of Al Qaeda make a daring raid and capture a French missile silo, taking 6 hostages. They then launch several non-nuclear ICBMs at London. A few are shot down, but the rest hit suburban area of London, 7000 people are killed. French air force bombs silo and kills all inside including hostages before more missiles could be launched. - Tensions continually rise between China, N. Korea and the USA. 2015 – Israel is invaded by Arabian countries. Within days it is overpowered. Israel launches nuclear attack on Cairo, Baghdad, Kuwait City and Dubai. Israel is capture by Arabians. Massive pollution of The Red Sea and the Arabian Sea. Giant loss of oil in the world. The USA pulls out of Iraq once and for all. Suez Canal destroyed. - Second construction ship sent to the moon. 2016 - Olympic games at Rio de Janeiro, massive bomb blast in crowd, damage is too severe to continue games. No group claims responsibility. 1793 people killed. - British Prime minister killed in letter bomb attack. No responsibility claimed. 2 other people killed. - Third ship to the moon is blown up on launch pad by large hidden bomb. No group claim responsibility. 18 people killed. - Bomb attack fails in Moscow at The European Football Cup. Several men are captured by Russian Police. 2017 – Manchester airport damaged in car bomb. No group claims responsibility. 14 people killed. - American spy plane shot down over N Korea 2018 – Nuclear suitcase bomb set off in Paris. Thousands of lives lost. A group calling themselves “The Promised” claims responsibility for Paris and all previous bomb attacks around the world. The group is massive and has been developing for ten years. It consists of Asian and Middle-eastern people from numerous countries including Iran, India, N Korea, Japan and China. 2019 – USA accuses China and N Korea of funding”The Promised” at UN meeting. N Korean representative merely winks and leaves meeting. 2020 – Chinese tank captured by members of “The Promised” smashes through Beijing airport, destroying two American and one British Plane before being destroyed. 349 people killed. 2021 – Alien craft crashes in to Japanese waters and is recovered by Japanese government. Attempts to cover up fail because passing boats takes photographs and put them on the internet. World is stunned. 2022 – The world is stunned at the pure manpower of “The promised”. The Kremlin is over-run by armed men and 244 people are held hostage inside. “The Promised” bring full anti air support. Four planes are shot down near The Kremlin. “The Promised” have no demands. From The Kremlin they televise a pre-recorded tape showing their aims, which are to bring down the west and restore power to the East. The Kremlin is then destroyed by a large bomb that they brought in with them. All hostages are killed as well as members of “The promised”. - Third ship is sent to the moon 2023 – Massive oil tanker in Atlantic Ocean is destroyed by a submarine. Enormous oil spill, environmental disaster. “The Promised” claim responsibility. - Crisis talks continue with N Korea and China as to where the submarine came from. - Europe becomes one country, with each smaller country as states. New world superpower Is created. 2024 – Colonies on the moon are finally complete. Two cities now exist. New Washington and New London. 2025 – Second attempt at mission to Mars begins. 2026 - Devastating virus is released and brings the internet to its knees. “The Promised” claim responsibility. 2027 – Mars rocket is launched. 2028 – Secret defence platform is discovered in space. American nuclear missiles and laser weaponry. Global outrage at the USA. - Mars rocket reaches Mars, first man walks on Mars. 2029 – USA gives China and N Korea one year to surrender all members of “The Promised” to US officials. USA is backed by Europe, Australia and Russia. - Terrorists bombs in major US cities simultaneously. “The Promised” claim responsibility 2030 – Several African countries unite under “The Promised” and send a massive invasion force over the Mediterranean sea. Small islands are quickly overrun. Fighting in Italy, France, Spain, Greece, Albania and Portugal. World War Three begins. - China conscripts its people in to the army by law. - Tensions reach boiling point between USA and China. - N Korea sends nuclear missiles at: Sydney, Los Angeles and San Francisco. - China sends a huge invasion force consisting of literally millions over soldiers over to the USA. - Russia attacks China. - Australia attacks N Korea and China. - Japan attacks China. - Europe attacks China. - Pakistan takes this opportunity to surprise attack India. - USA unleashes hell, retaliating to all enemies. 2031 – Fighting continues in Europe, USA, China, Australia, Japan N Korea and India. 2032 – African army is beaten by Europe; Europe now sends its full military force to China. 2033 – N Korea is captured by Australian and Japanese forces. 2033 – Some South American countries unite and invade USA. - China continues to fight with no sign of surrender. 2034 – Final Nuclear strike against China, 600 million are killed. - India defeats Pakistan - USA defeats South American army. 2035 – World is in ruin, Peace is established and all countries begin to re-build. - First contact is made with aliens. Aliens give the planet help with their technology and clear radiation. The aliens call themselves the Mador. They are peaceful and much more advanced than humans. 2036 – New cities are built throughout the globe. The world begins to unite and world peace is established. 2037 – The first human star ship is created with help from the Mador. New fuels are given to us and technologies. Humans start exploring the galaxy with interstellar travel. What did you guys think, I know its not something that your used to but what do you reckon? More to come... Edited December 14, 2007 by The Unvirginiser Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vercetti21 Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 It's an interesting read, but I doubt the world would just randomly decide to establish world peace and move on after WW3. You didn't really address a lot of things you introduced, for example, "The Promised". A timeline isn't really a good way to tell a story. All in all, it's fun to read, but could be improved. I think you should write a story on this, and use the timeline as an outline. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silviodante Posted December 15, 2007 Share Posted December 15, 2007 I like that you started with a timeline. This reminds me of Resistance: Fall of Man. I don't know why, but the only things I had problems with were the Aliens and I agree with Vercetti21 in questioning the fastly generated World Peace. Also, your spelling was a little off (easy to correct though). Not really going to say great job because you only wrote a timeline - even though you did a good job with that - but I am going to say that I can't wait to read whatever you release about this. Side Note: Nothing in this following text is meant to be offiencive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vanilla Shake Posted December 15, 2007 Share Posted December 15, 2007 Now all we need is a De Lorean to head Back to the Future to prevent this from happening. All jokes aside, interesting read. TC718 / <629 / CF5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmy Tango Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 Hunter eventually drive-byed outside his home. I believe the correct terminology here is "hoo-ridden." Seriously though, it's not bad. Some of it is actually plausible, although I think that the timeline is a little speedy for a lot of this. If you like writing in a timeline format, check out "The Martian Chronicles" By Ray Bradbury. It's phenomenal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 It's not bad, but instead of just writing the final product in a bland timeline, you should've done this as your rough draft. After that, you should've had one-two paragraphs for each event, telling them as though they're a short story. Remember, readers like to make inferences on their own; they don't want you to tell them, "the dog stood up. The dog walked to his bowl and took three small sips of water. The dog walked back to his spot beside the chair and laid down, then slept." They like to be able to invision themselves as a character in the story, someone who is experiencing the events in the timeline; not someone who's being lectured on the events, as if they must know them for a paper they're writing. Keep in mind, this is constructive; I'm not trying to hurt your feelings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oxidizer Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 Not bad. Easy, to the point. Though it'd be even better if you picked whatever elements you like best and make a narrative out of those. It wouldn't have to be big either. Still good though! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Unvirginiser Posted December 18, 2007 Author Share Posted December 18, 2007 Cheers guys I might make a second version and expand it.. ill think about a narrative.. any ideas? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Themanwiththeplan Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 I don't usually read things in this forum but I read all of this. I must say I loved it! I found it very interesting and different! Good job my friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tommy vs. claude Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 I think you should do what Emopat said and write each part of the time line in a short paragraph. And also go into a little bit more detail, hoe exactly was The Chosen defeated? All-in-all it was a great read. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saltinespike Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 Very interesting concept. I agree that many parts of it were skeptical, such as the bigfoot/hunter part, advanced alien part, and the lack of the utter annihilation of the UN's enemy. Some of it had me really pondering, though. Good work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Southside Dukes Ballas Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 I liked it but I think when you expand it go into more detail. Give us visuals of how people are living and how the Earth is. Maybe tell us what new technology we have and what crime is like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canofceleri Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 http://thefutureofourworld.ytmnd.com/ Sorry, I just watched that and then clicked on the forums and saw this, thought it was ironic. Cool stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Unvirginiser Posted January 14, 2008 Author Share Posted January 14, 2008 Working on updating the entire piece now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coral_City Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 Working on updating the entire piece now I liked this very much, even if it is a timeline, I think it's simple and to the point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
munkeypoo34 Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 I'd lol if it happens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GM Dude Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 I actually did something similar, but it's long lost{It wasn't on the net, either}. The events are fresh and original, though. Good job Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriel Constantin Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 Ehh, it's a bit boring. I'm not saying that in a purely harsh manner, I'm simply stating that there's nothing there to grip ahold of me and make me want to keep reading. A list of events is fine, but it doesn't leave much to the imagination. We, as a reader, don't have anything we can relate to. There's no form of character, dialogue or that much of a narrative. You're simply telling us what's happening, and we're not allowed to envision a sing second of it. 2019 – USA accuses China and N Korea of funding”The Promised” at UN meeting. N Korean representative merely winks and leaves meeting. I must admit though, that year made me laugh. Because it's completely implausible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Southside Dukes Ballas Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 Ehh, it's a bit boring. I'm not saying that in a purely harsh manner, I'm simply stating that there's nothing there to grip ahold of me and make me want to keep reading. A list of events is fine, but it doesn't leave much to the imagination. We, as a reader, don't have anything we can relate to. There's no form of character, dialogue or that much of a narrative. You're simply telling us what's happening, and we're not allowed to envision a sing second of it. 2019 – USA accuses China and N Korea of funding”The Promised” at UN meeting. N Korean representative merely winks and leaves meeting. I must admit though, that year made me laugh. Because it's completely implausible. How can you say we as a reader when you're the only one so far that stated you don't like it? Everyone else has said to like it. And why would there be a form of character, dialouge or narrative when it clearly states it's a timeline. Why the hell would any of the stuff you mentioned be in a timeline? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Unvirginiser Posted January 22, 2008 Author Share Posted January 22, 2008 Ehh, it's a bit boring. I'm not saying that in a purely harsh manner, I'm simply stating that there's nothing there to grip ahold of me and make me want to keep reading. A list of events is fine, but it doesn't leave much to the imagination. We, as a reader, don't have anything we can relate to. There's no form of character, dialogue or that much of a narrative. You're simply telling us what's happening, and we're not allowed to envision a sing second of it. 2019 – USA accuses China and N Korea of funding”The Promised” at UN meeting. N Korean representative merely winks and leaves meeting. I must admit though, that year made me laugh. Because it's completely implausible. Why is that implausable? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarthTemplar Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Slightly to much war for my liking. The world wasn't always ravaged by war you know. Anyway the major pet peeve I have in it is that you didn't mention Canada. It's a major country to you know Anyway I doubt that Aliens would just give resources to humanity after they practically kill each other. I think that they would find the planet to dangerous and leave it by themselves in fear of more war Why is that implausable? Spell Implausible right. A president isn't going to incriminate himself by "winking" at the end of a meeting when they are accused of funding a terrorist organization. They would go on the defensive so they would not be the US's #1 target. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriel Constantin Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Ehh, it's a bit boring. I'm not saying that in a purely harsh manner, I'm simply stating that there's nothing there to grip ahold of me and make me want to keep reading. A list of events is fine, but it doesn't leave much to the imagination. We, as a reader, don't have anything we can relate to. There's no form of character, dialogue or that much of a narrative. You're simply telling us what's happening, and we're not allowed to envision a sing second of it. 2019 – USA accuses China and N Korea of funding”The Promised” at UN meeting. N Korean representative merely winks and leaves meeting. I must admit though, that year made me laugh. Because it's completely implausible. How can you say we as a reader when you're the only one so far that stated you don't like it? Everyone else has said to like it. And why would there be a form of character, dialouge or narrative when it clearly states it's a timeline. Why the hell would any of the stuff you mentioned be in a timeline? It's a figure of speech, calm down. It's just like saying "We the people..." not everyone has the same opinion as the person who said it. I did not state anywhere in my post that 'We, as the reader, do not like this...' I said we have nothing to relate to. They're two completely different terms. Because those are things that make a story work. Though this isn't a story, I do believe it to be some form of narrative, and thus it needs at least a small majority of those characteristics. We're dealing with faceless governments and factions, giving us the names of Presidents and leaders would help us relate to the story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coral_City Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Slightly to much war for my liking. The world wasn't always ravaged by war you know. Anyway the major pet peeve I have in it is that you didn't mention Canada. It's a major country to you know Anyway I doubt that Aliens would just give resources to humanity after they practically kill each other. I think that they would find the planet to dangerous and leave it by themselves in fear of more war Why is that implausable? Spell Implausible right. A president isn't going to incriminate himself by "winking" at the end of a meeting when they are accused of funding a terrorist organization. They would go on the defensive so they would not be the US's #1 target. Woah. Being a bit anal aren't we? Anyhow, it's his little timeline; his story, he'll tell it how he wants. What you're saying isn't necessarily "constructive criticism" but a simple opinion on how YOU would tell the story. Leave it alone, kid. Another thing, I'm Canadian myself (Ontario!) -- but y'gotta understand. Unvirginser's story... he tells it how he wants, includes whatever he wants, etc. etc. Major country or not... it's apparently not important in this case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saltinespike Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Slightly to much war for my liking. The world wasn't always ravaged by war you know. Anyway the major pet peeve I have in it is that you didn't mention Canada. It's a major country to you know Anyway I doubt that Aliens would just give resources to humanity after they practically kill each other. I think that they would find the planet to dangerous and leave it by themselves in fear of more war Why is that implausable? Spell Implausible right. A president isn't going to incriminate himself by "winking" at the end of a meeting when they are accused of funding a terrorist organization. They would go on the defensive so they would not be the US's #1 target. It's his goddamn story. If you're going to offer constructive criticism, all is welcome but don't go out of your way to say it's unrealistic because 90% of the sh*t on this forum is unrealistic. Nobody rips on you because your story doesn't have something the reader wants or for grammar errors (you do have many). Now, like I said, if you would like to actually contribute to the thread, go ahead, but don't beat around the bush with your mindless comment trying to say the thing was not to your liking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriel Constantin Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 He's right though, it's very implausible. He's stating his opinion, and I'm pretty sure that's allowed. The simple fact is that if a UN Representative left after winking in response to being accused of funding a terrorist organasation, he'd be arrested and the country he represented would become America's number one target literally overnight. It just doesn't make sense, that's all I'm saying. And I'll same the same thing to anyone who writes implausible stories else-where on this forum. It needs an explanation, no matter how bizarre it may be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saltinespike Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 It's quite obvious the thing is "implausible". A group called "The Promised"? Very unlikely, just like the wink. Same for the aliens and bigfoot. That may degrade the story for you, but that is the story. Now if you have input on how to make the story better (which is why I did not address you in the last reply, you offered constructive criticism), then all comments should be welcome, but to request the story sucks as a whole is not helping anybody. Now, if you want to go around stating stories are unlikely, by all means, go ahead. It's not against the rules not to, but you will lose respect in doing so. We don't need someone pointing out what's reasonable and what's not. We're all big boys here. Perhaps shape their writing into something you think is better by guiding them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vercetti21 Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Anyway the major pet peeve I have in it is that you didn't mention Canada. It's a major country to you know That made me laugh. Aside form the fact that you live there, when the hell has anyone ever heard anything about Canada? They aren't in any wars and there is nothing special about it, aside from hockey. I could see why he didn't include it in the story: Canadians don't do sh*t. Seriously, when was the last time anyone actually wondered "I wonder what Canada is up to?" In the words of Peter Griffen, "Canada sucks." Seriously though, just because the country you live in was not mention does not mean you have to right to criticize his story for that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Unvirginiser Posted January 23, 2008 Author Share Posted January 23, 2008 I know its daft, but I think that makes it a better read. If you want a realisitc story then it wont be as intresting Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bumster Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 There is no Army of Europe or an Army of Africa. Europe and Africa are continents not countries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vercetti21 Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 ^ Thanks, Captain Dipsh*t, for bumping the thread with that useless post. Considering it's a fictional story I'm pretty sure he knows that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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