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.. a dish best served cold


The Unvirginiser

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The Unvirginiser

…A dish best served Cold

 

Prologue

 

 

I couldn’t breathe, I blinked to get the blood out of my eyes, I couldn’t feel through my broken fingers. Shaking all over I wanted to just close my eyes and let it stop, I just wanted the pain to end and go away. Danielle’s limp body lay in the corner, lying in a pool of her own blood she was at an awkward angle with broken bones all over. I could bear to look at my beautiful wife in this state. These men had no respect, all this over a bit of money. I felt like a football as the men kicked the sh*t out of me. I’ve had beatings before but never anything like this. The men were hard as nails, I felt like I was in the middle of the motorway being hit by cars in all directions.

 

It took seven men to kill me and my wife, I’m not dead just yet but hopefully will be soon. Chris Dillon, underground boxing champion, undefeated for years. Chris is about 6 foot 6, long reach and a solid knockout punch. He is stood at the window on watch at the moment, he helped everyone pin me to the floor as they barged through my house.

 

Danny “Vegas” or “Champagne” Danny. Not too sure exactly what Danny does but I can assure you that it isn’t legal. Danny is basically a little sh*t. Thinks that he’s a big gangster and that every bodies afraid of him, it’s not him that people are scared off, it’s the people that he knows. With his unbuttoned shirt and his medallion covered hairy chest, I’d love to grab the little sh*t by his gelled hair and break his f*cking nose. Currently he’s stamping on my mangled legs screaming abuse at me. To his right kicking me in the stomach is Danny’s brother; Willy. Willy is just like Danny, except that he’s a bit more serious and draws less attention to himself. He considers himself a ladies man just like his brother, I’ve always wanted to give Willy a slap, just looking at his little cocky face annoys me.

 

The pounding that is banging the back of my head is the foot of Little Kieran. This boy is barely thirteen, sadly he’s been drawn in to the life of crime. His voice quivers as he shouts swear words at me. Not because he’s nervous, just because its barely broken. I’ve never seen such a tough looking kid, his kicks were actually hurting more than champagne Danny’s.

 

Kieran’s Father, Darren lit a cigarette and calmly watched. This man was the reason that Danielle was dead. He was the man in charge, the biggest gangster and most well known criminal face in the city. Not a big man, well, gang leaders never usually are. Just an angry man who makes a lot of money and has a lot of people killed. Police wont touch him, nobody will testify against him and everybody that stands in his way is killed. The person that usually does the killing is the one who is lifting me up in to the air. Big Max, or Max the “Axe”. Darren’s personal bodyguard. Does all his dirty work. As you can imagine he is a huge evil looking brute. His bald head was all I saw as his boulder like fists clenched my arm and leg. Just like in films, Max was the stereotypical gangster, he looked like The Thing from the Fantastic Four.

 

I could only see through my right eye now, blood splashed around the room as Max through me through the dining room table. Max had tears in his eyes, he picked me back up, put his banana like fingers in my mouth and snapped the bottom of my jaw down, completely dislodging it from the top one.

“He’s dead now! You f*cking bastard! You f*cking tw*t!” Max yelled this at me as he repeatedly punched me in the gut. I was keeled over with my face in his chest, he repeatedly upper-cutted me and I felt my organs being turned to pulp. He elbowed me on my spine and I fell to my knees. Speaking of knees, one of Max’s smashed me in the nose and I fell once again to the floor. Now Max was in real tears, I’ve never seen a man that size cry before. The dead person he is talking about is the seventh man; Pete, max’s partner and best friend basically does the same job as Max does for Darren. As Danielle screamed I came running down the stairs to help her. Pete was the first man to attack me, followed by Max. Max wasn’t so hard when he saw an axe sticking out of his best friend’s head. This is the reason Danielle was killed, so they say. If you break in to my house expect death, simple as that. Obviously I was no match for 5 men and one little kid was I. I was overpowered within seconds, Max was going especially berserk because of what happened to Pete.

 

One again Max pulled me to my feet, his giant stupid head drove straight in to my face. I felt my skull shake and shatter like a glass ball. Yet again I was on my arse, in a pool of blood in my own house. Max kicked me in the balls, I actually felt my balls go back up inside my body.

“Alright boys that’s enough!” Darren shouted. Thank God I thought, maybe one of them will shoot me, then the pain can end and I’ll be back with Danielle. Darren approached me, grabbed me by my torn shirt and dragged my mangled face toward his.

 

“You listen boy, when I tell you to do something, you do it, I tried to be nice, I tried to be fair, but you wouldn’t have it would you. This is what you get you little stubborn bastard!” He turned around and nodded to Chris. Slowly he approached, he kneeled down beside me, looked straight in my face, then like a Cobra he struck. His knockout jab made me see stars, literally. I banged my head off the dinning room floor and felt sick creep up my throat.

 

I only can remember bits of what happened next. I slipped in and out of consciousness a few times. I remember Darren throwing the flaming bottle on Danielle and the flames engulfing her body. Then I slightly remember my next door neighbour dragging me out of the house and flashing blue lights surrounding me. After that I passed out again, then I woke up in the hospital weeks later.

 

 

It's going to be a brutal story of revenge.. Chapter one coming soon...

Edited by The Unvirginiser
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The Unvirginiser
f*cking structure! Break up your goddamn paragraphs. All of you.

Thanks for the feedback master of all things paperbased

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I think his paragraphs are fine. Don't listen to him, just worry about the next installment...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

sly.gif which I'll be watching for!

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The Unvirginiser
I think his paragraphs are fine. Don't listen to him, just worry about the next installment...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

sly.gif which I'll be watching for!

wow.gif Thanks man

 

Writing it as we speak wink.gif

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Hee @ serious Willy.

I'm so immature.

 

That was intense!

I like all the brutality and violence you packed in that - and it was just the prologue!

 

Cannot wait for the next part. ph34r.gif

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Wow! At first I was reluctant to read this because of the large paragraph structure, but once I read the first sentence I didn't want to stop. Excellent, excellent writing. I'll be following along on this one for sure. icon14.gif

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  • 2 weeks later...
The Unvirginiser

UPDATE!

 

Chapter One

 

Years Later…

 

 

The car was still running, stopped in an alleyway. For the third time this week I’d broken down and started crying, my head against the steering wheel I thought only off Danielle. Her beautiful face, her lovely blonde hair, he smile, her hugs and kisses. I would give anything to kiss her one last time.

 

Slowly I pulled myself together, for the millionth time I found myself asking why. Why? I used to own a bookies, before it got burnt down. Apparently I was competition to Darren’s bookies down the road. He sent big Pete round to suggest that I move. I smiled and told Pete that I had no intention of moving. Darren had a few more suggestive ideas. Bricking the window, sending Pete and Max round to beat me up. Sending Pete and Max round to smash up my machines. I was too stubborn to move, no way, until finally they came round to my house, I killed Pete as he came through the door. Darren’s four best men, and even his son killed my wife and burnt my house to the ground. Luckily my next door neighbour saved me just in time. My house is now a Smokey sh*t hole and my wife is in a pot on my bedside table.

 

 

I now own a bookies on the other side of town, the insurance paid off and I own another house. I keep a low profile so that the gangsters think that I’m dead. I’m on the way to my mum’s house, its Sunday and she’s made me a Sunday dinner, that I’m looking forward to. Over the past few years I hit the bottle hard, no intention of stopping, I’m just a mess. The bookies is nowhere near as successful as the old one. I’m not making enough money and all I want is Danielle. My life is ruined, I have nothing to live for and I wonder why I carry on.

 

 

Finally I get a grip, my head is banging from last night’s drinking and the sun is too bright today. I pull out of the alley and back on to the main road, straight in to a red light. Great! All I want to do is get to my Mum’s and have Sunday dinner! I have to trek all the way across town in this pissing traffic, f*cking Sunday shoppers. To my right is the pub “The brass handles”. It’s always been a rough pub, when I was a teenager I always used to avoid it, very bad reputation. A few crack heads are stood outside smoking and chatting. In broad daylight, Danny “Vegas” struts out of the bar. My jaw dropped! I couldn’t believe it! In his purple shirt, top buttons undone, hairy chest and medallion hanging out. He smoked a cigarette and looked wasted. He muttered something to one of the gear heads then strutted down the street with his gangster walk.

 

 

The lights turned green, I screeched the car round and drove across the opposite lane. Like a maniac I drove straight on to the pavement, in front of Danny. Danielle’s burning body flashed through my mind. Danny walked backwards, apparently too stunned to speak. I charged forward and grabbed hi by his head. Both my thumbs went in his eyes and he began to scream. With thumbs still in his eyes I rammed his head off the nearest car roof. Blood splattered across the car as his head bounced off it. I drove his face through the windows and glass fell all over the floor. He was on the floor looking up covered in blood .

 

As I raised my foot to stamp on his face he pulled out a knife n lunged it in to my raised thigh. I didn’t feel the pain immediately, he crawled under the car to get away from me. I caught his leg as he squirmed in. With strength that even surprised me I pulled him out and threw him across the floor. I kicked the sh*t out of him, I kicked and stamped his nose, teeth, back of head, throat, fingers, ankles and elbows. He screamed on the floor like Danielle did when she burnt. Danny was on the floor shaking with his hands over his head, curled up in a ball. I was shaking too, I looked up, stunned spectators were watching in shock.

 

 

Slowly I turned and walked back to my car, I reached it and opened the door. Just before I got in I thought to myself ..

“What am I doing?”

I went back to Danny, two people were helping him up. My hands went around his throat, I choked and choked, and I rammed the back of his head off the floor. Danny’s eyes rolled back, he choked blood and then became limp. The people watched stunned. I removed the knife from my thigh and blood poured out, I really should go to hospital. I turned around to go to my car, a huge black man stood in my way.

“The police are on the way!” he shouted at me.

“f*ck you!” I replied, I shoved the knife in to his throat. His eyes went wide and he fell to his knees clutching his throat, blood squirted everywhere. His girlfriend clutched him and screamed.

“Craig! Craig!” She screamed.

I felt no remorse, calmly I got back in to my car and drove off. Danny was dead, so was mr hard man that got involved. I enjoyed killing Danny, even Craig. My eyes narrowed, maybe I wont go to my mum’s house after all. One down..

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The knife in Craig's throat was out of nowhere, and it was f*cking hilarious.

Great job, I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

kdr9l4.png

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