Iminicus Posted November 19, 2007 Share Posted November 19, 2007 My take on an emo poem. Not suppose to be real. I saw you across the room Blood stained sweater Hair a mess I pull you aside I watch myself undress I slit my wrists and the pain comes forth The blood runs out onto the floor I cry myself to sleep as the angels take me away Life is no more. Yeah short sweet and a piss take. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Typhus Posted November 19, 2007 Share Posted November 19, 2007 "Angels"? I thought every Emo was an Atheist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iminicus Posted November 19, 2007 Author Share Posted November 19, 2007 Nah, bro. Emos aren't atheists they are just emotional people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turtle Posted November 19, 2007 Share Posted November 19, 2007 lol. Best thread ever? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poikly Posted November 19, 2007 Share Posted November 19, 2007 Lol it made me laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-/TNT\- Posted November 19, 2007 Share Posted November 19, 2007 You know it's real cuz I'm down with the E M Os what we do with all the blood lost God only knows we represent the Bloods, we ain't down with the crips our best habit is we slit our wrists left hand or right, below our fists and cry for our lives that were always bad because we never tried to alter that, and troubled parents we leave in our wake EMOs aren't really a trend, they're just fake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oblivionz Posted November 19, 2007 Share Posted November 19, 2007 (edited) Them poems were f*cking hilarious, but the second one comes off as a bit more rapping. They're both funny, though. Good job. Edited November 19, 2007 by Oblivionz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eminence Posted November 19, 2007 Share Posted November 19, 2007 The first was humorous; it did a good job of satirizing the whole concept of emo. The second seems like it's trying to sound like a rap, and doesn't have the same effect; it's just relevant words that rhyme. It doesn't have the same rhythm that makes the first so effective. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canofceleri Posted November 19, 2007 Share Posted November 19, 2007 That was the sh*t. I'm sure this has been done before, I remember. But here goes... Black, all color my heart lacks. The teacher said I must wear khaki slacks, I hate her to the max. My friends say I should relax, but they don't know all the facts. God hates me, so I say he isn't real, people say Jesus but how can anyone know how I feel? With the darkest satan I made a deal, my blackest heart he has peeled just so I can scrounge a meal. I've got a stye in my eye and I'm ready to cry... I'm gonna die and then I'm gonna fry. LIES! My Black Heart **snaps fingers** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eminence Posted November 19, 2007 Share Posted November 19, 2007 My Black Heart **snaps fingers** Reminds me of the goths on South Park! I can just imagine one of them saying that then doing that little hair flick... Nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-/TNT\- Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 The second seems like it's trying to sound like a rap, and doesn't have the same effect; it's just relevant words that rhyme. It doesn't have the same rhythm that makes the first so effective. I was being real, yo. Fo shizzle. Nah, I just wasn't as graphic as Iminicus. I tried to criticise the whole emo culture, plain and simple, plus with some funny in for good balance. I'm not a big fan of poetry, it just sounds wrong if you can't say it on a beat, in my opinion. But I usually listen to hip hop and rap music, so you can see where the influence is from. I don't know if it's trying to sound like a rap, I just thought of it as I typed it, kind of a freestyle, or a capella, as I did it without a beat. Simply put, I did it for teh lulz. Cand: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iminicus Posted November 21, 2007 Author Share Posted November 21, 2007 Wow. I didn't think my piss take would take off like this. I might consider thinking about the chance to perhaps write the idea down of maybe writing another piss take poem. Don't hold me too it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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