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LCS Chain Story


grimroxster
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2. Shoots Paulie Sindacco and the others cheer as Toni takes the seat as the Don of the Sindacco Family.

 

so after toni's new occupation arised, he stared at his new slaves and ordered them to put the dirt from their shoes into their mother's vaginas. the sindoccos didnt hesitate and went after their mothers. so toni put his feet up and grinned. this new life is gonna be sweet from now on. but then, a sindocco returned with some dirt and said 'i nearly forgot, YOUR my mother! pull down your pants mummy!' toni...

 

- kicked him in the nuts

 

- told him how the hell can he be a mother

 

- pulled down his pants...

 

- slapped his knee and laughed so hard that sal came in and said 'toni mah nigga i thought u were wit tha leone crew fo shizzle boi!' then rocky balboa made a cameo and muffled 'sal your my hero, teeach me the way of the dragon' then sal did haduken on rocky's gloves, turning them into strawberry condoms.

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tekkenfreek233

Toni kicked him in the nuts.

"Ow, what did you do that for? I was only joking!" said the Sindacco.

"Sir" says Toni

"That f*ckin' hurt, you jackass!" yells the Sindacco.

"Sir, you--" Toni says, interrupted.

"Are you f*ckin' psycho? Jesus Christ, man!" inquires the Sindacco.

"Sir, look towards the camera." Toni says.

"What? What camera? OW!" said the Sindacco.

"Sir, you've just been kicked in the nuts!" Toni exclaims

The Sindacco looks towards the camera and starts laughing.

Then. . .

 

1. A clown comes in and says "I just lost the game"

 

2. A clown comes in and says "Michael Jackson has an enormous penis!"

 

3. A clown comes in and says "Hey, you took my job!"

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A clown comes in and says "Hey, you took my job!" "What?" Replies Toni. "As the Don?" "What? No!" Responds the clown. "To kick this guy in the nuts!" The clown kicks the Sindacco in the nuts and laughs an evil, maniacal laugh. "Ahh!" Screams the Sindacco in agony. "You f*cking moron!" The Sindacco's voice is high as if he's been inhaling helium. Then...

 

1. Some Leones break into the Sindacco hideout and are surprised to see Toni as boss.

2. Toni asks the clown to leave because he has made enough trouble already.

3. The clown turns out to be a Leone with a message for Toni.

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tekkenfreek233

Then the clown turns out to be a Leone with a message for Toni.

"Listen, Salvatore told me that you can be Don of the Sindacco family as long as you're at peace with the Leones."

"Sure." says Toni

So. . .

 

1. Toni gets a call from a mysterious man named Carl Johnson, claiming to have dialed the wrong number.

 

2. Toni gets a call from Salvatore, telling Toni the same message the Leone he sent over here just told him

 

3. Things seem to be going great and then all hell breaks loose as Forellis make the scene and try to assassinate Toni.

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3. Things seem to be going great and then all hell breaks loose as Forellis make the scene and try to assassinate Toni.

 

He dodged and weaved bullets left right and centre from all three of the most powerful mafia families in LC.

He ducked around the corner of Mr Benz, before coming face to face with his cherished .357. But, sadly for Toni, as he gawped down the barrell of this unholy god-machine, he realised that it was in the hand of...

 

 

- Kent paul

 

- Gok wan

 

- Greebo-man

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- Greebo-man

toni was shocked that his holy profit had taken hold of his sexy gun. but this was the .357 he was talking about! no god or anyone else can hold it! so toni...

 

- beat the sh*t out of greebo man

 

- had sex with greebo man

 

- whacked greebo man with a surf board and took the gun off him and shuved it into toni's pants

 

- slapped his knee and laughed so hard greebo pulled on toni's tie and said 'lolollollolloolol now u hav a tite tie!' then a giant pineapple crashed into the room and ronald mcdonald did the soulja boy dance on greebo's FACE

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whacked greebo man with a surf board and took the gun off him and shuved it into toni's pants. "Now nobody gets it," says Toni, as the stunned greebo-man is on the floor, shocked. Toni walks away as the three Mafia Families battle it out and cancel each other out. Toni drives over to Sal's to take the peace. Sal has a shotgun in his hand and says, "How do I know I can trust you?" Toni responds with...

 

1. "Are you kidding me? I used to be your Capo!"

2. "You can't. That's why I brought Mr. .357 with me."

3. "You gotta help me, Sal! I'm in grave trouble."

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"You can't. That's why I brought Mr. 357 with me!"

Toni angrily...

 

1. Shoots Sal in the chest.

2. Reloads his .357 to fire away.

3. Hides behind a wall.

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Shoots Sal in the chest. Sal goes down in horror. Maria comes to his aid. Toni points his gun at Sal and is ready to load his bullet in Sal's head. However, he hesitates. "I can't do it!" He cries and starts bawling. He falls to his knees and buries his face in his hands. "I'm so sorry Sal!" He yells. Toni and Maria decide to take Sal to the hospital. They leave him with the doctors to tend to his wounds. Toni...

 

1. Stays at Sal's bedside until he recovers.

2. Is scolded by Maria.

3. Returns to the Sindacco base to find that there has been a massacre there.

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tekkenfreek233

Toni is scolded by Maria.

"I can't believe you, Toni! I thought I could trust you!"

"I'm sorry, he scared me and I shot!"

"Toni, you could have killed him!"

"I'm sorry. . . Can I make it up to you, Maria? I didn't mean to hurt anyone like this. I mean, I don't know what I'm thinking these days."

"Obviously not. Otherwise, you wouldn't have done this."

Suddenly, their eyes lock on each other and Toni realizes that Maria must be the most beautiful person in the world. Maria realizes that Toni is the sexiest man alive. So, obviously. . .

 

1. They have sex

 

2. They make out with each other

 

3. Maria gives Toni a blowjob.

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They have sex. After that, Toni drops Maria off back at her place and he goes to Red Light District. He's still not satisfies, so he picks up a hooker and f*cks her, too. He kills her and gets his money back. Now, he's satisfied. Some Sindaccos walk up to his car and tell him that the Forellis are gonna try taking over Red Light District. Toni...

 

1. Ignores them because he doesn't really care about the fate of the Sindacco Family.

2. Rounds up some men and "goes to the mattresses."

3. Tell the Sindaccos to go steal a Forelli Excess full of cocaine and bring it back so they can all get high.

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They have sex. After that, Toni drops Maria off back at her place and he goes to Red Light District. He's still not satisfies, so he picks up a hooker and f*cks her, too. He kills her and gets his money back. Now, he's satisfied. Some Sindaccos walk up to his car and tell him that the Forellis are gonna try taking over Red Light District. Toni...

 

1. Ignores them because he doesn't really care about the fate of the Sindacco Family.

2. Rounds up some men and "goes to the mattresses."

3. Tell the Sindaccos to go steal a Forelli Excess full of cocaine and bring it back so they can all get high.

1.

 

Toni sees a Triad running towards te car, armed to the teeth with an AK47:

 

1.Toni floors it and flees.

 

2.Toni attempts to exit the vehicle and shoot the Triad.

 

3.Toni cries in the backseat.

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Toni attempts to exit the vehicle and shoot the Triad. He gets shot himself a few times. He takes cover behind his car and returns fire with his M4. The Triad goes down. But, some more Triads back him up. Toni tells the Sindaccos to help him, and they have no choice. So, Toni and the Sindaccos have a gunfight with the Triads. Toni takes down most of the Triads himself. Now...

 

1. The Sindaccos want Toni to care about them again. Toni has no choice, now.

2. A helicopter full of Triads approaches, ready to kill Toni and his back-up.

3. Toni returns to the hospital to see how Sal is doing.

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3. Toni returns to the hospital to see how Sal is doing.

when he arrived, sal was staring blankley.......at the gay porn channels on his tv, but quickly switched over when he noticed toni. sal said 'oh errr hey toni my boy! come to see your ol' dad have you?' toni replied 'for christs sake, ive been through enough today, the last thing i need is you telling me your my dad, who was my mum again? before sal could answer, the nurse came in and injected a small device that oni couldnt recognise, it certainly wasnt a normal injection, and why would she just barge in and stick it to him without warning? toni grabbed her shoulder and asked 'excuse me lady....' 'RAPE RAPE RAPE!!! RAPIST! SEXUAL HARRASSMENT! CALL THE COPS!' toni was like 'what?!! no! im wsnt trying....the injection....' then sal got up and said 'toni, im ashamed of you, prepare to die!' toni witnessed his skin turning purple. he had no choice but to...

 

- called his sindacco chums to help out

 

- ran outside and saw a bunch of cops waiting for him

 

- pulled out his .357 and shot the nurse and sal

 

- asked the nurse politley what she has done to sal and whats going on

 

- slapped his knee and laughed so hard sal started to breast feed himself mercie_blink.gif

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xNamexTakenx

pulled out his .357 and shot the nurse and sal. Toni gets a two-star wanted level and walks out of the hospital. He drives away with the cops firing at him. Toni quickly drives over to the Pay N' Spray and loses the cops. He can't believe what he's done. So, he goes over to Maria's to talk about it. Maria is pissed. Maria...

 

1. Kicks Toni out of her house and tells him to never see her again.

2. Has sex with Toni because they're in love.

3. Pulls out a gun and shoots Toni, for revenge.

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pulled out his .357 and shot the nurse and sal. Toni gets a two-star wanted level and walks out of the hospital. He drives away with the cops firing at him. Toni quickly drives over to the Pay N' Spray and loses the cops. He can't believe what he's done. So, he goes over to Maria's to talk about it. Maria is pissed. Maria...

 

1. Kicks Toni out of her house and tells him to never see her again.

2. Has sex with Toni because they're in love.

3. Pulls out a gun and shoots Toni, for revenge.

1.

 

Toni is annoyed so...

 

1.Goes to Rusty Brown's Doghunts to eat and calm his nerves.

 

2.Shoots the nice old lady walking across the road in a blind rage.

 

3.Does the Irish Jig in the middle of the street.

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xNamexTakenx

Goes to Rusty Brown's Doghunts to eat and calm his nerves. He goes outside to see some Bikers hanging out. They are Wayne's friends. Toni quickly steals a Linerunner and tries to make an escape, instead of fighting. The Bikers chase after him. One accidentally goes in front of the truck and gets run over. There are three more remaining. The Bikers...

 

1. Take out uzis and fire at Toni's truck.

2. Give up and go back to their bar in Chinatown.

3. Call for back-up and soon, tons of Bikers are chasing Toni.

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Goes to Rusty Brown's Doghunts to eat and calm his nerves. He goes outside to see some Bikers hanging out. They are Wayne's friends. Toni quickly steals a Linerunner and tries to make an escape, instead of fighting. The Bikers chase after him. One accidentally goes in front of the truck and gets run over. There are three more remaining. The Bikers...

 

1. Take out uzis and fire at Toni's truck.

2. Give up and go back to their bar in Chinatown.

3. Call for back-up and soon, tons of Bikers are chasing Toni.

1.

 

Then Toni brakes sharply, all the bikers crash into Toni's Line runner.

 

1.Toni gets out of the truck and does some jogging to burn off those doughnuts.

 

2.Toni decides to go to Shoreside and kill some Cartel members and rob them.

 

3.Toni does the Irish Jig in the middle of the street.

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xNamexTakenx

Toni gets out of the truck and does some jogging to burn off those doughnuts. he runs all the way to Cipriani's Ristorante in Saints Mark's. He visits his Ma and she makes him a nice Italian dish. "Ma!" Says Toni. "I just burned all the calories I got. Now you're making me more food?" "You gotta eat, Toni," replies Toni's Ma. "You don't get enough." After eating a big Italian dish, Toni...

 

1. Asks for another because it was so good!

2. Slaps his mother for ordering a hit on him.

3. Can't eat another bite so he runs all the way to Saint Marco's Bistro.

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3. Can't eat another bite so he runs all the way to Saint Marco's Bistro.

...But he collapses from indigestion just as he gets near.

He is awoken by the melacholic lapping of the sea as he comes to his senses on portland beach.

"How the hell did I get here?" He wonders.

 

It is a nice sunny day so there are sunbathers on the beach. Lady sunbathers. In Bikinis.

Toni begins to get all hot under the collar. He needs to lose this heat.

In a panic, Toni:

 

- Begins to rape one of the sunbathers, who is asleep and actually 8-ball in disguise.

 

- starts jacking off to the tune of Michael Jackson's 'Beat it'

 

- Goes for a cooling dip in the ocean.

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- Goes for a cooling dip in the ocean.

he decided to take a piss while he thought about why he was at the beach. unfortunatly, a child was right next to him 'mummy, why is it warmer here?' the boy's mum looked at toni in disgust ' you fukin sicko!' she proceded to kick sand in toni's face. toni...

 

- was now blind!

 

- punched the lady, and a hot chick called the police for sexual harrasment

 

- shot the lady and drop kicked the child into the sea

 

- slapped his knee and laughed so hard that a shark came out and yelled 'f*ck willy!' and ate the lady, obviously resulting with a chick opening a new mcdonalds on toni's ELBOW

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- Goes for a cooling dip in the ocean.

he decided to take a piss while he thought about why he was at the beach. unfortunatly, a child was right next to him 'mummy, why is it warmer here?' the boy's mum looked at toni in disgust ' you fukin sicko!' she proceded to kick sand in toni's face. toni...

 

- was now blind!

 

- punched the lady, and a hot chick called the police for sexual harrasment

 

- shot the lady and drop kicked the child into the sea

 

- slapped his knee and laughed so hard that a shark came out and yelled 'f*ck willy!' and ate the lady, obviously resulting with a chick opening a new mcdonalds on toni's ELBOW

3.

 

 

The child flies into the air and lands in the water with a splash. Toni notices a helicopter nearby...

 

1.It's Sal, inviting Toni for a rip roaring adventure in the South Pacific! Involving pirates, trasure, gunfights, Lara Croft and Uncharted's very own Nathan Drake!

 

2.It's Pshyco, Nomad and Prophet, all clad in the state of the art nano suits:

''Raptor team we're beginning approach, stand by for green''. Oh Toni, what have you done this time...

 

3.[You boring, mundane, fan of linear literature]: It's the Triads! They fire at Toni with M4s and MP5s. how will Toni get out of this!

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3.[You boring, mundane, fan of linear literature]: It's the Triads! They fire at Toni with M4s and MP5s. how will Toni get out of this!

..he pissed on them!

so now that problem was out of the way, a new one hit toni on the face like a fish. crash bandioot came with his bazooka and pointed it at toni's ELBOW. toni...

 

- bitched slapped crash

 

- took a closer look to see if it was naughty dog crash or vicarious visions crash, if vicarious visions, toni will kill him

 

- kneeled down and begged for his life

 

- slapped his knee and laughed so hard the the bazooka turned in a toaster and out popped a 24 year old sylvester stallone preforming a hoe down to cotton eye joe

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tekkenfreek233

Toni kneeled down and begged for his life. But Crash Bandicoot turns out to be a Triad in disguise. The Triad tells Toni that Toni must give him a blowjob in order to stay alive. So. . .

 

Toni gives the Triad a blowjob

 

Maria comes in and gives the Triad the best blowjob ever. . . then they have a threesome

 

Toni takes away the Triad's gun and gets the Triad on his knees and then Toni forces the Triad to suck on Toni's nuts.

 

The triad suffers from premature ejaculation so as soon as Toni unzips the Triad's pants, the Triad explodes all over Toni's face.

 

Toni says "F*ck this!" and goes home only to see that he has a new message on Myspace.

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GunslingerRevolverOcelot

Toni said "F*ck this and shot the Triad. He went to his house and saw he had a message on Myspace. It said.....

 

 

Toni,

 

This is the Umbrella Corporation, an ally of the Leones. I want you to help us take care of an incident at Raccoon City.....

 

What should Toni do?

 

A-Meet Albert Wesker at Staunton Cathedral

 

B-Meet Ada Wong in Chinatown

 

C-Meet HUNK at the El Station in Portland View

 

D-Meet Revolver Ocelot at the Airport so you can talk about how lame a GTA-Resident Evil crossover would be. And then shoot him for bringing Metal Gear Solid into this.

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A-Meet Albert Wesker at Staunton Cathedral

 

when toni arrived, he was disapointed to see that it isnt the albert wesker we all know, it was some other dude. toni asked about the myspace message and he replied 'what the hell is myspace? wheres raccoon city? who are you? you want to mug me dont you? I WONT LET YOU!' albert...

 

- punched toni

 

- got punched by toni

 

- exploded

 

- slapped toni's knee and made him laugh so hard that all of this never happened and toni was back at the white house, about to relive everything again! but do it right this time...

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GunslingerRevolverOcelot

Toni punched Albert Wesker and said "My goodness, this is stupid! I'm going to..."

 

A-Sal's mansion

 

B-Cipriani's Bistro

 

C-The Airport

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xNamexTakenx

lol Myspace should've been MyRoom. Anybody who's played IV will no what I'm talking about. icon14.gif

 

OT: Cipriani's Bistro. "You better not go there!" Yells Toni, reloading for another punch. "That's my family business!" Toni punches the man again and he goes out cold. Toni drags him behind the church and pisses on him. Then, he runs away. A car almost hits him as he runs, so he jacks the car. He drives to Bedford Point for...

 

1. Some Burger Shot.

2. Some Cluckin' Bell.

3. A lap dance in a strip club.

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tekkenfreek233

He drives to Bedford Point for some Burger Shot! He notices Carl Johnson eating there as well and asks him what the f*ck he's doing back in Liberty.

"Cause WEEESSSSTTTTTSSSSSSSIIIIIDDDDDEEEEEEEE is tha BEST SIDE!!!" said Carl.

"Well, why the f*ck don't you just go back to San Andreas?"

"Nigga please!"

All of a sudden. . .

 

1. Toni Cipriani wakes up in his awsome house in shoreside vale. He changes into his Goodfella outfit and goes outside. He picks up a bat, shotgun, and SMG (he has all 100 packages) Then he heads out. He heads to the staunton island docks to go ride in a boat. He is about to go down the stairs, until he sees some sindacos with large crates. That means one thing, weapons and explosives!

 

2. CJ Punches Toni in the face

 

3. Some average-sized, balding, middle-aged man appears in front of him and walks into a door that wasn't there before.

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xNamexTakenx

Toni Cipriani wakes up in his awsome house in shoreside vale. He changes into his Goodfella outfit and goes outside. He picks up a bat, shotgun, and SMG (he has all 100 packages) Then he heads out. He heads to the staunton island docks to go ride in a boat. He is about to go down the stairs, until he sees some sindacos with large crates. That means one thing, weapons and explosives! Toni...

 

1. Takes out a rocket launcher and accidentally ruins his own plans.

2. Goes on a nearby roof and snipers them all.

3. Goes in, and threatens them all with a crappy 9mm.

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